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"What am I to you?
" Oh, I don't know ��" I give her a little shrug, stare straight ahead. Take a long sip before I look over at her. "Like, just �� everything"

i'm dead. i can't deal with real world now, i just need to process this book for at least three days

this book had everything in it! honestly, it was so angsty and so emotional, sometimes i needed a few minutes to take a break. it was fantastic and i'm actually sitting here crying because of that ending. yes, it wasn't as devastating as the ending of the long way home, but knowing how the events went there, it's hard to process how the great undoing ended.

the plot was fantastic and it was even more mesmerising considering the events of the second magnolia parks book. it fascinated me so much that this book added so much depth to the characters from previous book. and even the dialogues were not the same from word to word which really captured the whole multiple pov structure so good. another detail that i liked is that some scenes that were missing in the previous book are present in this one. i really loved how the world of magnolia parks integrated in the world of daisy haites because this part was significantly missing in the first books.

after reading the first daisy haites book i can tell you that i gravitated more towards daisy's world. her relationship with christian are literally the best thing that magnolia parks universe brought for me. but the whole integration of magnolia into daisy's universe was so smooth and it really made the whole world of this books completed. jessa executed this part perfectly.

the characters themselves were fantastic too, and i really loved how they differ depending which pov we're reading through (magnolia/bj or daisy/christian/julian). but i'll talk about three main characters individually in the spoilery part next.

so, fair warning, SPOILERS start from here.

what the actual fuck was this book? the ending destroyed me and shattered me into the pieces. they had to sedate julian to calm him down? christian watched daisy being taken away from him right after he just got her back? daisy realising that she's meant to lose everything just because she was born a haites? me therapist is going to hear from me soon because this is honestly too much.

daisy haites is my little baby girl that i love with all i have. my favourite female character from this universe and i won't shut up about her anytime soon. i really loved her growth in this book and how she was able to process that normalcy in the way that world knows it is not an option for her, but she can always create her own normalcy. i adore her and i relate so much to her self-conscious issues. she had her heart broken before and it's very human that she doesn't want to make assumptions and jump head first (even though she already jumped). sometimes she acts childish when it comes to her relationship with christian, but once again, that's because she was already hurt by him.

moving on to the love of my fucking life �� christian hemmes. guys, he's not only my book boyfriend of the month, he's honestly my book boyfriend of the year. the way he talks about daisy, the way he cares for her, the way he loves her... i can't, i just can't. he's the greatest thing that came from the whole series and each page i felt like i'm falling more and more in love with him. honestly, it's not possible to love someone as much as i love christian. he's everything for me and i literally cried for him in the end cause he was so ready to step away, he was so ready to move and leave everything behind just to be with daisy, he was done wasting his time. and then this stupid gang lord shit storyline ruined everything! WHY CAN'T MY BOY CHRISTIAN FINALLY BE HAPPY? 💔

also, a little side note, i love how everyone was praising christian when watching his leaked sex tape. like honestly, he deserved those compliments

CHRISITAN AND DAISY NEEDED MORE TIME TOGETHER. i would die on this hill, but honestly, this book is called DAISY haites, not julian haites. we didn't need to waste so much time on his love story with *guess who?* magnolia fucking parks. look, it was already my issue in the long way home, but in this book it was highlighted by julian so many times �� every guy falls head over heels in love with her and at the same time every guy realises that they have no chances because she's only ever loved bj. why should we waste the precious time reading about julian's kind of unhealthy obsession with magnolia when we could read more about daisy (again, who was supposed to be the main character of this book) and christian?

speaking of unnecessary relationships, daisy's thing with tiller was dragged for so long, it was painful, but at least daisy/christian were looking somewhat like slowburn. and i loved that for them, honestly. but the ending they got? i have this clowning that maybe christian went looking for daisy because he was absent in all of the scenes in the end of mp2, but knowing how jessa loves to break couples up in between the books, i don't think so

moving on to the most conflicting character for me, julian. full disclosure, i'm not a fan. he was supposed to be the scary gang lord, but at the end of the day he was worse than beej when it came to magnolia. that gang shit scene in which magnolia shows up to super top secret gang lords meeting and starts talking about fashion? i died of laughter and embarrassment, really. julian was looking at her lovey-dovey and all that �� it's a comedy. he was so under her heel that he became a shadow of himself and by the end of the book (the last two of his povs specifically) when he once again decided that he needs magnolia and they can work, he disregarded her safety completely. he's selfish when it comes to the things that he wants, we know that, but him deciding to just ignore warning signs and act like there were no direct threats towards her safety is so childish. he should know better than anyone that the world that him and his sister are living in is dangerous for outsiders, but he's to proud to acknowledge that, unfortunately. i was trying to have sympathy because of how in love he was with a girl who could never love him like that, but no. this book made me dislike this couple, even though i pretty much was okay with them during mp2.

and was that a foreshadowing when daisy compared julian to jesus and how jesus died when he was 33 (just like julian would be in two years, and we have two more daisy haites books)? cause i can see julian sacrificing himself to save daisy or even magnolia. but please jessa, let it be daisy.

so yeah, in conclusion, i would say that maybe i'm very biased that i rated this book five stars, but i don't care now. for me now this book is everything, and i know that i'm going to re-read it in february to prepare for magnolia parks: into the dark. so maybe i'll change that review. or maybe not? however, i would definitely recommend this book because of the way it made me feel. like i was present with those characters �� i was crying, i was laughing, i was so engaged in their drama. it was a wild ride, honestly, and i can't wait to read more from mpu