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Heretics of Dune by Frank Herbert
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did not like it
bookshelves: science-fiction, too-sexy-for-maiden-aunts, parody-homage, story-review, pooh-dante, flagged

The guards ushered Frank into the office. As usual, the Reverend Publisher was seated at her desk, writing.

So many lives touched by her decisions, he thought.

"Well?"

She looked up. He had promised himself that he would not flinch before the fire of her gaze, and once more he broke his promise.

"It is... almost finished."

"Almost." Her irony was palpable, a force. "Almost is not enough. You know that, Frank. When will it be done?"

"I think... a month. At most two. I am working as hard as I can, Reverend Publisher. I am... not well."

He hated himself for his servility.

"So, why then did you found a dynasty? Your son can assist you. He will continue when you are gone. There are many books left to write."

His throat was suddenly dry. But of course there was no pitcher of water. It would have been unthinkable.

"I am... preparing him. He will be ready in time."

She glanced at him again, and again he flinched.

"There is a transcriber on that desk. Write a page now. I want to see how you work."

He sat down, and fed a sheet of paper into the machine. His lips moved soundlessly. She knew what he was saying. By now, the Litany was stamped deep into his psyche, impossible to eradicate. She smiled secretly to herself. The training was brutal, but it was effective. She watched his mouth, as it formed the words it had spoken so many times before:
I have no taste.
Taste is the sales-killer, the hesitation that brings total profit meltdown.
I will conquer my taste.
When I have stamped it out, I will look at what I have written.
I will read through it from start to finish.
There will be nothing left of a great series.
Only crap will remain.

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Reading Progress

Started Reading
January 1, 1986 – Finished Reading
June 30, 2009 – Shelved
June 30, 2009 – Shelved as: science-fiction
June 30, 2009 – Shelved as: too-sexy-for-maiden-aunts
June 30, 2009 – Shelved as: parody-homage
May 16, 2010 – Shelved as: story-review
March 29, 2013 – Shelved as: pooh-dante
September 23, 2014 – Shelved as: flagged

Comments Showing 1-50 of 100 (100 new)


message 1: by Robert (new)

Robert I wouldn't have said the series got down to 1 star status until the next one: God-awful Should Have Been Buried Under a Dune.


Manny Robert wrote: "I wouldn't have said the series got down to 1 star status until the next one: God-awful Should Have Been Buried Under a Dune."

For me, they both blur into a formless whole. I can't even swear that I read the last one, though I think I did.

I'm sorry, I can't discuss this further. I'm worried that the nightmares will come back.



message 3: by Bram (last edited Jun 30, 2009 07:29AM) (new)

Bram This review is funny, sad, and probably nonfiction.


Manny Bram wrote: "This review is funny, sad, and probably nonfiction. "

Thank you! But what a scary thought. I didn't realize that I was channeling the late Mr. Herbert until you said that.

He says he has a message for someone with initials K.J.A. Oh my God. No, forget it, I'm obviously just imagining all this...



message 5: by Bram (new)

Bram Haha. I haven't even read beyond the first book, but I've heard enough horror stories about later ones to steer clear...for now. Also, I'm fundamentally opposed to different authors continuing a series, although I'm sure there are some exceptions out there that could make me reconsider.


Manny The general opinion is that the Bible turned out quite well, also the Dumas series. Less sure about James Bond...



message 7: by Jen (new)

Jen and VC Andrews.


message 8: by Manny (last edited Jun 30, 2009 08:42AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Of course. How could I have forgotten her?

Who writes the Tom Clancy books these days? I have a vague feeling that Mr Clancy shares the love, but maybe I am being very unfair to him. I never got further than The Hunt for Red October.




message 9: by Robert (new)

Robert This kind of thing goes on all the time, doesn't it?

Publisher of Doom: I know that the story has reached 1812 and the naval wars are over but there are only ten books in the series: we expect at least ten more!

Mr. O'Brian: But....

PoD: You will stop time! Henceforth it will be 1812 - FOREVER! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Mr.O'B: Well, I kinda like the characters, maybe I can do another one set mostly on land...there's Aubrey's debt problem, after all.

PoD: That will work...for one book...then it will be 1812 FOREVER! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Mr.O'B: *Gulp* Um...yes.... *gets up and creeps out backwards*

PoD: 1812 FOREVER! BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh, he's gone. Bring in the next sucker - I mean bring in Eoin Colfer - he owes us three more Fowl books AND the next Hitchhiker's tome!


message 10: by Bram (new)

Bram What's the Dumas series?


message 11: by Manny (last edited Jun 30, 2009 09:21AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Well, I must admit I'm not a big Dumas fan, but I think a lot of the books are linked, aren't they?


message 12: by Bram (new)

Bram I think so...but they weren't all written by Dumas pere?


message 13: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Oh, wait. I see I'm even less of a Dumas fan than I thought. I had vaguely believed that Dumas fils continued some of his father's stories, but that doesn't seem to be true at all. Apologies!



message 14: by Robert (new)

Robert Are we talking Alexandre Dumas, here? In which case, the controversy is about how much credit to give his "collaborator" who fed him a lot of the historical ideas he used but who was rubbish at actually writing himself.

The Musketeers typically appear in 5 volumes in the English translations:

The Three Musketeers
Twenty Years After
The Vicomte De Bragelone
Louise De La Valiere
The Man in the Iron Mask

The lattermost three were originally serialised in a French newspaper as The Man in the Iron Mask but were split up when the first British publication of a translation was made and nobody feels like sticking them back into one volume, just in case a black hole forms at the print-shop....

He wrote heaps of other stuff but I haven't come across any other sequence of novels.


message 15: by Bram (new)

Bram No worries--I've read nothing by him at all.

If the Bible is a continuation of a coherent story, then it's pretty postmodern in execution I'd say!


message 16: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny I was interested to read in the Wikipedia article that Dumas fils was buried quite close to the grave of the woman who inspired La Belle Dame Aux Camelias. Though it's apparently possible that it's just a coincidence.



message 17: by [deleted user] (new)

I kind of loved Dune #5 and #6 when I read them as a kid; what girl doesn't want to kill people with her feet? I'm sure they're terrible, but I'm also sure that the writing of the unholy bifecta of Kevin J Anderson and Herbert Jr. deserves negative starring, if there is such a thing. I need to take a shower just thinking about it. Is this the book with the sad eulogy for his wife as the preface?


message 18: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Ceridwen wrote: "what girl doesn't want to kill people with her feet?"

I'd never thought about that before. I believe I have met such girls, but, the more I consider it, the less certain I become. Will any female readers enlighten me?

I'm afraid I remember almost nothing about the book. I read it too late, when I was well into my 20s, and can only recall a general feeling of horror and pity. Terrible, since my memories of the early ones are pretty much frame by frame.



message 19: by Robert (new)

Robert I remember very little about them, too - but the only one I have really clear memories of, is Dune itself, which I re-read recently.


message 20: by Alan (new)

Alan Manny wrote: "Ceridwen wrote: "what girl doesn't want to kill people with her feet?"

as a man with a foot fetish I think it's a good way to go.



message 21: by trivialchemy (last edited Jul 01, 2009 09:44AM) (new)

trivialchemy what girl doesn't want to kill people with her feet?

Is this one of those "rhetorical" questions? It has caused me considerable distress over the last 1-2 minutes since I first read it.


message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

I'm sorry, fellas. I was aiming for humorous over-statement, but ended up creepy and wrong somehow. Whoops. I think I may need to use more emoticons ;)

Which is kind of what's wrong with this book. Herbert introduces the slovenly Bad Girls to fight the Bene Gesserit, and much ink is spilled about how they're so awesome they can kill you with their feet - their feet I tell you! - but if you give it any thought, it sounds silly and possibly unworkable.

Plus, when will it occur to someone to just dust off and nuke them from orbit? It's the only way to make sure. Anyway, blah blah, what I mean to say was: What girl doesn't want to bomb planets from space?


message 23: by trivialchemy (new)

trivialchemy Ceridwen wrote: What girl doesn't want to bomb planets from space?

No girl I could ever love, that's for sure.


message 24: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny I am clearly meeting the wrong kind of girls. Can someone recommend a dating site?



message 25: by trivialchemy (new)

trivialchemy Manny wrote: "I am clearly meeting the wrong kind of girls. Can someone recommend a dating site?
"


www.goodreads.com


message 26: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny You're sure, Isaiah? Being British, I never dare ask my female GR friends these searching personal questions...


message 27: by Robert (new)

Robert But you can't use nukes 'cos of the shields or something....


message 28: by trivialchemy (new)

trivialchemy Manny wrote: "You're sure, Isaiah? Being British, I never dare ask my female GR friends these searching personal questions..."

Oh that's your problem right there, Manny. American girls find this kind of openness refreshing. Take it from me, it's a big turn-on.

Here try this, next time you're at a bar and you locate a delectable American strumpet, simply walk up to her casually and ask, "if you were going to kill many people, would you rather do it with your feet or by bombing them from space?"

She'll swoon.


message 29: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny I lived in California for over four years, and I never once thought of using that line. The number of missed opportunities. Gaagh!




message 30: by Jen (last edited Jul 01, 2009 11:30AM) (new)

Jen Isaiah wrote: "Manny wrote: "You're sure, Isaiah? Being British, I never dare ask my female GR friends these searching personal questions..."

Oh that's your problem right there, Manny. American girls find this k..."


I'm fanning myself right now. You have offered so much!

1. that women have murderous desires that should be acknowledged
2. that women should have a choice in exercising those desires
3. That the foot can be as mighty as a bomb from space

What is not to love?


message 31: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Thank you Christopher!


message 32: by Reev (new)

Reev Robledo Awesome Herbert-esque review! Haha. I'm having a difficult time finishing the 2nd book in the series. I believe Herbert was stoned when he wrote it. That being said, I feel bad because I just bought the next 2 books yesterday鈥攊t was being sold for less than half the price at a yard sale.


message 33: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Thank you Reev. You may already have read the worthwhile part of the series...


message 34: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Due to overwhelming popular demand (combined with direct threats), I am restoring this review.


Topher S. Loved the review. Funny and sad at the same time. I enjoyed the first 4 books, though "Children of Dune" was tedious for me. I'm an outlier who counts "God Emperor" as my favorite.
I originally read them in my mid-to-late teens and picked up "Heretics" when it was first published. So disappointing. Honestly I remember very little about the plot, just the disappointment. I probably suffered trauma induced amnesia after forcing myself to finish "Chapterhouse".


message 36: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Thank you Topher! It sounds like our reading experiences were quite similar, except that I didn't much like God Emperor. At any rate, I believe I'm also suffering from the trauma-induced amnesia :)


message 37: by Dana (new) - added it

Dana Archer Manny I am tired of reading your reviews. if you don't like the books stop reading them.


message 38: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Dana wrote: "Manny I am tired of reading your reviews. if you don't like the books stop reading them."

I'm sorry, Dana. I try to love all the world's books, but sometimes it's just too hard. Even as it is, people have been known to accuse me of excessive kindness.


message 39: by Nandakishore (new)

Nandakishore Mridula I have read only the first book, which I loved. Then I tried The White Plague, got stuck in the beginning for umpteen number of times, then dropped it.

After that I have not approached a Frank Herbert book.


message 40: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Vol 2 of Dune is also worth reading. The Dragon in the Sea and The Eyes of Heisenberg are IMHO kind of underrated.


message 41: by Manny (last edited Aug 29, 2019 07:59AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Ah, don't say I didn't warnya.


message 42: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Tyler, I'm afraid I cannot unreservedly recommend these books.


Michael That was funny.


message 44: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny Thank you Michael. But I hope a bit sad at the same time?


message 45: by Sydney (new)

Sydney Stories what book should I stop at? I absolutely adore Dune and I bought the next 2 books after years of never continuing and fearing the worst


message 46: by Robert (new)

Robert Sydney wrote: "what book should I stop at? I absolutely adore Dune and I bought the next 2 books after years of never continuing and fearing the worst"

Definitely do not read more than the first three!


message 47: by Sydney (new)

Sydney Stories thanks @robert. I want to keep my love and adoration in tact for the first book


message 48: by Robert (new)

Robert Sydney wrote: "thanks @robert. I want to keep my love and adoration in tact for the first book"

You might want to stop after the first book, then - but they aren't outright awful until the fourth...


message 49: by Manny (new) - rated it 1 star

Manny I'm with Robert.


message 50: by Liz (new) - rated it 4 stars

Liz I am in general agreement with all the comments on Dune2, Dune4, we鈥檒l see when I reread the next two. Doubt if I鈥檒l go further. Thanks Manny, like the satire.
For another Herbert book that stove my head in as a youngster, and that I still find readable, try 鈥淲hipping Star鈥�.


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