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A very impressive debut about the female strife for agency: In a twist on The Vegetarian, we meet a protagonist who longs to adhere to societal standards, until she can't keep up the facade anymore. Still haunted by her childhood nickname, Piglet, an unusually tall woman with glasses, is about to marry Kit, a well-off man from a higher social class. They move into a house, they entertain guestes, Piglet is well-regarded as an assistant-editor for cook books. Her life is Insta-appropriate, and Piglet is acceptable as a woman: The man has greater means and higher standing, she is successful, but not too successful, she is about to become someone's wife, as her father expects. In her quest to be enough, Piglet has everything under control - and then she doesn't.

Only days before their marriage ceremony, Kit confesses that he betrayed her - and we never learn what exactly happened, because it doesn't matter. Kit's behavior is a mere catalyst that lays bare that Piglet has been betraying herself all along by not questioning her desires and by not putting her emotions into action - instead, she aimed to keep up appearances to avoid shame, a shame that society bestows upon women who defy expectations in order to do whatever the hell they want: These women are not called passionate (like men in these situations), they are called egotistical, shrill and bitchy. Piglet does not want to be the bitch, she wants to be the good girl, but the price she is paying is getting higher and higher...

As a coping mechanism, Piglet resorts to over-eating. Eating disorders do not only run in her family, but these behaviors are often a way to exert control over the body when agency is denied in other areas. And here, Hazell does something very smart: She employs luscious, vivid, detailed descriptions of food, which tempt readers to overlook that Piglet is at the same time destroying herself: The over-indulgence in what appears to be the only available form of pleasure is self-harm. This is the disturbing core of the story: Piglet has internalized toxic expectations, and to rebel, she harms herself. Her real desires, which she seems almost unable to express, are compromised by what she is told she should desire. And of course, female desire laid bare leads to shame, hence the nickname.

Class mobility plays a large role here, but the story underlines how what is expected from Piglet is the same in her working class family and Kit's upper class environment: Misogyny does not discriminate. And I loved how Hazell introduces female solidarity as a possible way out (an aspect that real-world feminism struggles to put into action): It's Piglet's pregnant friend who tells her that she deserves better, that she is not forced to play the game, and that there should be no shame in claiming her wants. What propels the story forward is the question whether Piglet will be able to stand up for herself, which, under the circumstances, would be no small feat.

Hazell's writing is delicious (haha, sorry) and I enjoyed the subtle nuances of the story that do an excellent job in depicting a concept we need to talk about more: Toxic feminity, the internalization of harmful expectations that leads to decisions and actions that uphold the patriarchy. At the same time, the novel offers an intriguing plot and is just fun to read. Let's see whether it will get some nominations for literary prizes, as it should.