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You just confirmed my worst fears about an author I've been avoiding forever. I'd really like to read that Pride & Prejudice & Zombies book, but I'm scared there'd be too much Pride & Prejudice and not enough zombies..

It's all so dismally proper. I do have the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and, at first, I was going to attempt reading the "sans undead" version first, but now I'm just going to skip that as I have a feeling the only thing that could make it bearable would be a little zombie action. I have it on good authority that there are also ninjas . . .

Have you seen the Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters from Quirk Books? If not, you should look it up and check out that cover art.

I might have to check out S&S&S, depending on my P&P&Z experience, although something tells me Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is the literary equivalent of drawing beards and penises on all the former presidents in your history book in the seventh grade.

I just checked out the S&S&S cover. That is awesome. I think they should forget the notion of having the original text and just write stories where zombies and sea monsters suddenly burst into proper English drawing rooms and captains' quarters and just start munching on some lords and ladies. But that's just me.....

OK, I was just looking through the quote section on here and came across this. I thought you'd enjoy considering your recent experience...

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

Letter to Joseph Twichell, 9/13/1898"
� Mark Twain

Dan wrote: "I might have to check out S&S&S, depending on my P&P&Z experience, although something tells me Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is the literary equivalent of drawing beards and penises on all the fo..."

Um, did everyone else stop doing that in 7th grade? Why didn't someone tell me? I'm always the last to know these things . . .

I find it amusing that some people have managed to turn this type of defilement into a marketable niche. I'm willing to forgive poor literary quality just to have those book covers sitting somewhere on my bookshelves. I'm currently trying to figure out how I can hop on this bandwagon and make a ridiculous amount of money from my immaturity.

Kemper wrote: "OK, I was just looking through the quote section on here and came across this. I thought you'd enjoy considering your recent experience...

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't d..."

Ha! Yup, that just about sums up my sentiments exactly. Maybe there's a book there--Mark Twain vs. Jane Austen: Literary Death Match. And they could be zombies--that would make it easier for him to get hold of her shin-bone and beat her like a red-headed step-child.

I got into that very idea on the message board of a blog I read. We started with the idea of Zombie C.S. Lewis versus Zombie J.R.R. Tolkien, and it escalated from there. I did have my money on Zombie Mark Twain after initial backing of Zombie Hemingway. (I remembered that Zombie Hemingway went out with a head shot and under Romero Zombie Rules, was probably still down for the count when the Literary Zombie Wars began...)

Zombie Rules aside, your initial instinct was good--always back Hemingway in a fight. It's just good business sense. I've got a feeling a zombie Mark Twain would be a pretty scrappy fighter . . .

If I can jump into this discussion, I'd like to propose zombie Hemingway vs. zombie Bukowski. Wagers on that one, anyone? And can these be drunken zombies, by the way?

"Crude and crass." I never thought of it that way, but this describes my tastes to a T.

Daniel wrote: "If I can jump into this discussion, I'd like to propose zombie Hemingway vs. zombie Bukowski. Wagers on that one, anyone? And can these be drunken zombies, by the way?"

These must absolutely be drunken zombies. Besides, I don't think Hemingway was sober for a solid two decades of his life, at the very least. Bukowski vs. Hemingway. That one is rather thought provoking. I dare say, I don't think I could wager money on that--it would almost cheapen the sheer awesomeness of it.

Logan wrote: ""Crude and crass." I never thought of it that way, but this describes my tastes to a T."

I find I have a low tolerance for books or people who aren't one or the other.

I don't know if zombies can get drunk. Since their metabolism is shut down, could they get schnockered? Or maybe they'd just get pie-eyed on sweet delicious brains?

What if they ate the brains of the recently inebriated? Oh, wait, that doesn't solve the metabolism issue. I move for the "pie-eyed on sweet delicious brains," partially because I just like the way that rolls off the tongue.

So the next question is, how could you even tell if a zombie was drunk? Stumbling around, making unintelligble sounds, and covered in disgusting bodily fluids? That pretty much describes everyone in a bar during a really good drink special on a Saturday night....

Maybe they develop keen awareness and bouts of lucidity?

So perhaps this whole Pride and Prejudice and Zombies thing is getting out of hand. For your edification and enjoyment:

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:


Exhibit C:


Exhibit WTF:

Amanda, this trend has gone from clever and mildly amusing to overdone and completely idiotic in less time than it took Sam Raimi to film the first "Evil Dead" movie.

It has definitely taken the shine off of it to find so many have sprouted up like mushrooms overnight. I may call it quits--but only after the sea monster one. Jane Austen owes me.

Out of curiosity, how long did it take Sam Raimi to make the first one?

Turns out that was a terrible comparison, Amanda. According to the interwebs, it took a year and a half to make it, with Raimi and the actors shooting when they could. I should really stick to what I know.

In your defense, it does look like it took about 6 hours to make--including time for a snack break. "I'll swallow your soul, I'll swallow your soul!" Sorry, just had to get that out, even if it is from the second one.

Maia wrote: "I disagree with you, Amanda - I love Emma - but your review made me laugh!"

I'm glad you could still chuckle at it! I haven't entirely ruled out giving it another shot in the future because, strangely enough, I adore the film adaptations of Emma (especially the most recent Masterpiece version). I just couldn't get into the book for some reason.

Ye, I was boooooored incredibly by this book, really push myself to finish this book

Yuliya wrote: "Ye, I was boooooored incredibly by this book, really push myself to finish this book"

I'm glad I'm not alone! I admire your willingness to finish it--I just couldn't do it. I found my will to read diminished every time I thought about picking it up.

I definitely will see the movie adaptation of Emma. (what is the name of the movie? Emma also?) Usually I like books better then movies, but in this case it's just not possible to be it the same way, so I feel I will be enjoying by movie!

Yuliya wrote: "I definitely will see the movie adaptation of Emma. (what is the name of the movie? Emma also?) Usually I like books better then movies, but in this case it's just not possible to be it the same wa..."

I agree in that I normally prefer the books to the movies, so this is a rare exception. There are two movie versions that I've seen--one with Gwyneth Paltrow and another that is a Masterpiece Theater version. Both are excellent, but I preferred the Masterpiece Theater version. Both are named Emma.

This is so true.

Mathis wrote: "This is so true."

Thank you, sir!

It's not a proper book. Look up this line on Google "Kitty, a fair but frozen maid.." Try not to blush.

Amanda wrote: "Yuliya wrote: "I definitely will see the movie adaptation of Emma. (what is the name of the movie? Emma also?) Usually I like books better then movies, but in this case it's just not possible to be..."

Thank you, I watched movie with Gwyneth Paltrow and I like it much more then book. At least I was catching the plot of story, and not lost in boring dialogs diluted all book plot. I will also watch the other version if you think it's even better.... ( I watched three version of Rebecca, and I LOVED Rebecca book by Daphne du Maurier) I just got that I'm not a fun of Austen books at all, of any of her books, and I'm tried, just not style that I enjoyed. So I skipped the rest of her books to movies, just to know that she wanted to implement in her stories

Erin wrote: "It's not a proper book. Look up this line on Google "Kitty, a fair but frozen maid.." Try not to blush."

Ah, me. There's part of the problem--it takes a lot to make me blush. Proper is certainly nothing I've ever claimed to be. :)

Yuliya wrote: "Amanda wrote: "Yuliya wrote: "I definitely will see the movie adaptation of Emma. (what is the name of the movie? Emma also?) Usually I like books better then movies, but in this case it's just not..."

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I really like the Masterpiece Theater version even more so than the Gwyneth Paltrow version and I have a feeling that it's more true to the original work (although I obviously can't be a good judge of that since I never finished the book). Be forewarned, however, as it's significantly longer, but I thought it was well worth it.

Rebecca is a book that I've always been curious about, but I've never gotten around to reading. I need to bump that one up on my to read list.

You're missing Austen's whole point. She is, first and foremost, a satirist.

Melissa wrote: "You're missing Austen's whole point. She is, first and foremost, a satirist."

Nope, I got it and didn't enjoy it.

Welcome to the Missed-The-Point-Club, Amanda. We have many members.

Kemper wrote: "Welcome to the Missed-The-Point-Club, Amanda. We have many members."

Praise be! There are others! I was feeling so lost, so alone. We're so fortunate that there are so many kind-hearted literary samaritans always glad to gently point out our failings in the shadow of their towering intellects.

Perhaps I should begin returning the favor, reading through people's reviews and pointing out their lapses in good judgment (which, apparently, is anything that doesn't match up with my judgment). Down with diversity of opinion! If you didn't like it--you missed the point, dumb ass.

Amanda wrote: "Kemper wrote: "Welcome to the Missed-The-Point-Club, Amanda. We have many members."

Praise be! There are others! I was feeling so lost, so alone. We're so fortunate that there are so many kind..."

I demand that you like the books I like in exactly the same way I like them!!

Kemper wrote: "I demand that you like the books I like in exactly the same way I like them!!"

And, if you don't, I shall taunt you with a dismissive comment about your ability to understand the book!

I haven't been able to make it through a single one of Austen's books. Charming, I guess. Witty, whatever. But I don't like frivolous, high-maintenance, inane gosspiy women in real life, I can't see how I would be won over by them in fiction.

Anthony wrote: "I haven't been able to make it through a single one of Austen's books. Charming, I guess. Witty, whatever. But I don't like frivolous, high-maintenance, inane gosspiy women in real life, I can't se..."

Maybe you missed the point?

Amanda wrote: "Maybe you missed the point? "

...my God. What if I have?

Anthony wrote: "Amanda wrote: "Maybe you missed the point? "

...my God. What if I have?"

You get used to it.

Anthony wrote: "Amanda wrote: "Maybe you missed the point? "

...my God. What if I have?"

Then no more books for you! And please see Kemper to get your membership badge.

Oh, and I'm new at this, so I think I messed it up. I should have stated it as a declarative sentence. By phrasing it as a question, I may have inadvertently left doubt in your mind as to whether or not you missed the point. Which you did. By a mile.

Amanda wrote: "Oh, and I'm new at this, so I think I messed it up. I should have stated it as a declarative sentence. By phrasing it as a question, I may have inadvertently left doubt in your mind as to whether or not you missed the point. Which you did. By a mile. ."

Phrasing your opinion as an indisputable fact is critical in making others conform to your way of thinking.

Amanda wrote: "Anthony wrote: "Amanda wrote: "Maybe you missed the point? "

...my God. What if I have?"

Then no more books for you! And please see Kemper to get your membership badge.

Oh, and I'm new at this,..."

Oh, in that case I won't have to worry about having a crisis about which I truly am. I can now sink into the acceptance of my own fallibility. Thanks, Amanda!

Kemper wrote: "Amanda wrote: "Oh, and I'm new at this, so I think I messed it up. I should have stated it as a declarative sentence. By phrasing it as a question, I may have inadvertently left doubt in your mind ..."

Damn? I meant, Damn! I knew I screwed up.

Anthony wrote: "Oh, in that case I won't have to worry about having a crisis about which I truly am. I can now sink into the acceptance of my own fallibility. Thanks, Amanda!"

You're welcome, citizen. Now, let's not have any more of that irresponsible reading and thinking on your own and you'll get the hang of this book thing in no time!

I'm right there with ya, sista! I was choking on the exclamation points.

Suzie wrote: "I'm right there with ya, sista! I was choking on the exclamation points."

Emma haters of the world unite!

Oh my gosh. I just accepted your friend request and now I found out you don't like Austen.... I am horrified.

Firstly, I want to address a few things from this thread (from years ago but nothing dies on the Internet).

PP&Z is awful. S&S&S is amazing, absolutely amazing. Ben Winters is such a good writer and did a superb job of mashing it up - Very witty.

Next. Gwyneth ruined Emma. It is by far the worst movie version in existence. Actually the best version is generally considered to be Clueless (Alicia Silverstone), I think this is because none of the other movies really get at the tone of this book.

Lastly. Jane Austen expected you to hate this heroine. She was shocked that people enjoyed her. She was certain that she had written a character that nobody could possible like.

Lastly, if you are going to read a Jane Austen novel I honestly believe Northanger Abbey and Persuasion are the best two for modern readers. NA is very funny, it is also a bit gothic which is fun. It is witty and flirtatious and completely tongue-in-cheek - the book does not take itself seriously at all.

...That is all I have to say about that.