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Who would have thought that a book about a society in transition, the last years of communism, and the hopes and disillusionment after the fall of the socialist regime in Albania would be so fascinating? This memoir was a page-turner for me.

The author tells us about her childhood and teenage years in Albania in a friendly and honest manner. At times, it was like talking to a friend whose complex and often conflicting feelings you could easily understand. The author's voice felt authentic. Lea Ypi talks about traumatic experiences with a certain irony and sarcasm.

"But if there was one lesson to take away from the history of my family, and of my country, it was that people never make history under circumstances they choose."

We follow Lea, who lives in socialist Albania with her parents, grandmother, and younger brother.
She goes to school, where she is taught how privileged she is to be born in this country.
Lea has to be grateful to the Party leadership for living a peaceful and free life with so many opportunities open to her.
"The Party was above us, but it was also deep inside. Everyone, everything, came from it."
Unfortunately, millions of people around the world are oppressed and marginalized. Their country has many powerful detractors, including the US, the USSR, and Yugoslavia. However, even they will eventually see the benefits of the socio-economic model and way of life in Albania under socialism. All these preachings make a strong impression on the girl who has been in this system since her birth.
Lea's parents have always tried to protect her by not casting doubt on her belief in the official propaganda tropes.
I cannot help but think that this easily understandable desire to shield your child under an authoritarian regime can produce a generation of people, many of whom grow up to be true believers. They have not been exposed to alternative viewpoints, not only at school but also at home.
Lea is precocious, impressionable, and curious about the present moment and her family history. The story of her parents and grandparents intrigues her. She cannot figure out why her grandfather had to leave his family to study at the university for many years. Why are her parents not fascinated by Enver Hoxha*? Why are they reluctant to have his photo in their living room?

She has yet to learn that the right answers require the right questions. If Lea asked the right question, she would find out that her grandfather had been in jail for many years. The state viewed him as a dangerous and obnoxious element.

Lea witnesses the beginning of what looks like a new era when you do not have to toe the line anymore. Instead, you learn about civil society, tax declarations, corruption, and pyramid schemes.
The collapse of the socialist regime and the new freedoms brought great hope to many people in Albania. For many, however, those big expectations were to be replaced by frustration brought on by increasing financial difficulties, the threat of civil war, and a palpable sense of hypocrisy surrounding them.
"The West had spent decades criticizing the East for its closed borders, funding campaigns to demand freedom of movement, condemning the immorality of states committed to restricting the right to exit. Our exiles used to be received as heroes. Now they were treated like criminals."

The author skillfully blends her personal story with that of her homeland and with commentary on political and economic issues. She reflects on socialism vs. capitalism. How do the liberal and socialist traditions interpret the ideas of freedom and human dignity? Can the concept of socialism be divorced from the experience of many Eastern European countries? Is it possible to separate a set of ideals from practice?
"Everything that went wrong on my side of the world could be explained by the cruelty of our leaders or the uniquely backward nature of our institutions. They [Lea's foreign friends] believed there was little for them to learn. There was no risk of repeating the same mistakes, no reason to ponder what had been achieved, and why it had been destroyed. Their socialism was characterized by the triumph of freedom and justice; mine by the failure of these ideas to be realized. Their socialism would be brought about by the right people, with the right motives, under the right circumstances, with the right combination of theory and practice."

This book is a delicate reflection on memory, history, and identity, how we treat them, or perhaps how they treat us. Should we remember the past with all its follies? Or would it be better to let it go? Can memories of past tragedies and traumas prevent us from committing new mistakes and injustices? Is remembering always more healing than oblivion? Can we choose what to remember and what to forget?
This memoir also makes you think about the meaning of freedom, the connection between freedom and responsibility, between freedom and the recognition of moral duty.

Lea's mother believed in the survival of the fittest and that people were naturally inclined to be aggressive.
Lea's father, on the other hand, believed in human kindness and "a kernel of goodness in everyone. He blamed dysfunctional societies for the prevalence of a dark side of human nature and always tried to help those in need. If someone is considered weak and outcast by society, in most cases it is not their fault. They deserve compassion, not contempt.
The author's grandmother knew how to face the blows of fate and remain resilient, witty, and empathetic. Despite the many difficulties of the present, she was not nostalgic for her past and the privilege into which she had been born and raised.
"She had never ceased to be responsible. Freedom, she said, is being conscious of necessity."


*Enver Hoxha ruled the country until he died in 1985.