Brendan's Reviews > The Republic
The Republic
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Let me explain why I'd recommend this book to everyone: Plato is stupid.
Seriously.
And it's important that you all understand that Western society is based on the fallacy-ridden ramblings of an idiot. Read this, understand that he is not joking, and understand that Plato is well and truly fucked in the head.
Every single one of his works goes like this:
SOCRATES: "Hello, I will now prove this theory!"
STRAWMAN: "Surely you are wrong!"
SOCRATES: "Nonsense. Listen, Strawman: can we agree to the following wildly presumptive statement that is at the core of my argument?" {Insert wildly presumptive statement here� this time, it's "There is such a thing as Perfect Justice" and "There is such a thing as Perfect Beauty", among others.}
STRAWMAN: "Yes, of course, that is obvious."
SOCRATES: "Good! Now that we have conveniently skipped over all of the logically-necessary debate, because my off-the-wall crazy ideas surely wouldn't stand up to any real scrutiny, let me tell you an intolerably long hypothetical story."
{Insert intolerably long hypothetical story.}
STRAWMAN: "My God, Socrates! You have completely won me over! That is brilliant! Your woefully simplistic theories should become the basis for future Western civilization! That would be great!"
SOCRATES: "Ha ha! My simple rhetorical device has duped them all! I will now go celebrate by drinking hemlock and scoring a cameo in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure!"
The moral of the story is: Plato is stupid.
Seriously.
And it's important that you all understand that Western society is based on the fallacy-ridden ramblings of an idiot. Read this, understand that he is not joking, and understand that Plato is well and truly fucked in the head.
Every single one of his works goes like this:
SOCRATES: "Hello, I will now prove this theory!"
STRAWMAN: "Surely you are wrong!"
SOCRATES: "Nonsense. Listen, Strawman: can we agree to the following wildly presumptive statement that is at the core of my argument?" {Insert wildly presumptive statement here� this time, it's "There is such a thing as Perfect Justice" and "There is such a thing as Perfect Beauty", among others.}
STRAWMAN: "Yes, of course, that is obvious."
SOCRATES: "Good! Now that we have conveniently skipped over all of the logically-necessary debate, because my off-the-wall crazy ideas surely wouldn't stand up to any real scrutiny, let me tell you an intolerably long hypothetical story."
{Insert intolerably long hypothetical story.}
STRAWMAN: "My God, Socrates! You have completely won me over! That is brilliant! Your woefully simplistic theories should become the basis for future Western civilization! That would be great!"
SOCRATES: "Ha ha! My simple rhetorical device has duped them all! I will now go celebrate by drinking hemlock and scoring a cameo in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure!"
The moral of the story is: Plato is stupid.
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Started Reading
November 1, 2001
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Finished Reading
September 25, 2007
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Adam
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Jan 20, 2008 11:57PM

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SOCRATES: "I will not prove my point and, clearly, you won't question me whatsoever."
PHILISTINE: "Uhm, actually I think you're clearly wrong about everything. I'd like to stay and be the only voice in the debate who questions you, but I have to be randomly going, mostly to sex young Greek boys, and worship at the temple of Jeff, God of Hair-dos. So I leave all the spineless morons here to carry on the debate. Hopefully they won't just lay around, licking your ass." *exunt Philistine*
SOCRATES: "Ah, now that he's gone, who disagrees with me?"
CHORUS: "Us! Wait... not at all, can we have a hug oh wise bearded man who resembles both God and Santa?"

You have failed to see the purpose of this text, and I suspect that you will be unable to derive benefit from reading classical literature, as you know nothing of antiquity and even less of philosophy.
Your characterization of Plato makes you look like a complete idiot, and this is regrettable, as surely you are not...otherwise you would not feel so assured in your judgment of a text that has been recognized as one of the most complicated and difficult texts in the history of western literature. Surely it takes a wise man to pass such authoritative judgment on such a book. I wish that you would regale us with more of your wisdom, oh divine interpreter of texts.
Perhaps you have some fascinating wisdom to share with us about the nature of Homer or Sophocles? You have obviously handled the subject of Plato with grace and fairness and can now move on to greater things than the ramblings of a retard.
Goodbye, and I wish you the best of luck, truly.


If I am guilty of condescension sir, you are guilty of consistently claiming to have some kind of knowledge that exempts you from granting these texts their history as provocative documents that have received all sorts of attention from the most valued thinkers civilization has had to offer, not just neoclassical sycophants (I wonder who you have in mind here..Kant, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Coleridge, Wordsworth, Thoreau?) You know "enough about philosophy and Hellenic Greece", apparently just enough to claim that a text that you do not understand is irrelevant. Striking. The difference between me and you: you think you understand what the Republic is saying, I don't know what the Republic is saying, I don't think it was "saying" anything, merely posing a set of problems and questions that he leaves to the reader to figure out. Plato wasn't a dogmatist. The ideal city breaks down by the end of the Republic, it is not a practical guidebook, Plato would probably be the first to agree with you about why the ideal city, frankly, sucks!
It may be relevant here that the Republic was preserved in Arabic alongside Western manuscript traditions, and some of the most valuable commentaries we have come from non-Western traditions.
History from the bottom-up?
You've been reading things that are "actually" relevant? I wonder what those are, I should surely like to know what is "actually" relevant, since Plato is so obviously deficient in "relevance". It's a surprise we even have his manuscripts, I suppose. Or that Columbia chooses to include Plato in their core curriculum. Or that his texts constantly defy clear-cut interpretation, as evinced by the discussion we've been having.
I mean no personal hostility..I am simply not a neoclassical "sycophant", and Plato's texts had and have a hugely transformational effect on my life. Furthermore, I have witnessed their effect in the classroom, both from the perspective of a student and teacher, and to write off their value as you do, from a holier-than-thou perspective and naive rebellion against the classical canon tainted with the thought that you have "enough knowledge" to do this I find somewhat disturbing.

Surely you understand that the reason I keep responding is because you are accusing me of something extremely revolting, and because I make choices in my life based on things other than playing academic mindgames, psychobabbling, and divorcing myself from reality. The dialogues are extremely valuable..the Socratic method is not just a literary construct.


My goodness, lots of discussion on this review. Wish I'd been active on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ while it was happening.
Anyway, Zach: I'm not sure to whom your comment is addressed, but assuming you're talking to me, I do appreciate its importance, which is what makes me so angry.
The Republic (and the rest of Plato's work, ) helped establish a pattern of overly-simplistic generalization, rhetoric disguised as dialectic, and false dichotomies parading as analysis.
And you can make the claim that at the time it was the forefront of philosophical thought, but the few extant works by Heraclitus of Ephesus show that philosophers of the time (and of earlier times) were capable of not only grasping the notion of concurrent-but-contradictory truths, of constant flux--of uncertainty, to use a more contemporary term--but giving it a (relatively) thorough philosophical exploration.
To give a specific example, the Allegory of the Cave infuriates me. Plato makes a considered, persuasive argument that we accept the reality that we are presented, that we can't trust our impressions--that things are not necessarily what they seem. I find it logically incongruous that the same person who makes that argument--someone who has clearly read Heraclitus and Cratylus--can then champion a philosophy that takes as its foundation the notion of True Forms, of Perfect Ideals. I also find it incredibly annoying that that very same person, who describes his own logical shortcomings (in his own argument!) without recognizing them, is considered one of the fathers of logical thought.
That Plato's arguments are rife with these inconsistencies isn't my problem; that he uses the structure of a (strawman-heavy) dialogue to gloss over these glaring omissions is. So I do understand and appreciate Plato's importance to the history of ideas; I just see his as a largely negative influence, establishing a tone for future philosophical discussion of "there is only one True and Correct thing, let me show you why you are wrong", which can only be stultifying to the search for new and more interesting and revelatory ideas.



You may point that out. And I may remind you that this is my review and thus in no way subject to your dominion of humorless self-seriousness. As far as what you prefer: Since this is, again, my review, I will write in accordance to my own preference. For example, my preference would be to never be forced to deal with the kind of pompous killjoy arrogance on display here. Or perhaps your brilliant satire. At the moment, I'm having more fun presuming the former, so let's run with that, shall we? (Hint: We shall.)
"Antiquities" aren't holy things. They're old stuff. That's it. They're incredibly valuable because of what they tell us about our social development and collective history, but they are made of wood and leather and stone just like everything else. They are not comprised of some kind of Sacred Materia. In three thousand years, they will be digging up the half-destroyed carcasses of iPods and debating their uses just as we do Archimedes' Screw. They are just old stuff, and as such demand much learned study and consideration, but are in no way sullied by "slang".
In the same way, Plato's argument here is facile at best. Most of his rhetorical methods wouldn't pass his own rigorous examination, hinging as they do on preposterous and obvious strawmen, and the work deserves to be honestly debated on its merits (and not solely on its age or historiographical value). To hold ancient writings to some vaunted standard simply because they are old does a discredit to you, a discredit to the works, and a discredit to the time in which they were written. It's Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc dressed up in bowties and tweed elbow-patched jackets, and it's elitist is the worst way--it undermines the discourse instead of elevating it.
So: Lighten up. It was obviously a joke, and I chose the language that I did simply because I thought the sentence "Plato is retarded" was funny and made for a punchy tagline (given the traffic this review has gotten, I'd say I was right). Could I have written a very sober review of Plato's rhetorical shortcomings, full of pomp and buzzword-heavy self-aggrandizement? Sure. But that wouldn't have been as much fun.
All that assumes you were being serious. If you weren't, then your comment is hilariously dry. I decided to respond to it mostly because I found much of this comments section to be in desperate need of a little joviality, even if your particular comment was intended as the joke I hope it was.

Perhaps a lot of the accusations made against Plato in the above comments could be avoided if you try this interpretation.


That's interesting (I'll pick up Bloom's translation at some point) but my real problem is with Plato's methodology--his reliance on strawmen and wild, unjustified leaps of logic that skirt the core of his questions--which is the same across his works (especially Timeaus).
@Paul:
Good show, old boy: You quite put me in my place! Jolly good!
@Brandon:
Yes, clearly. That I attack Plato based on the shocking inconsistency of his arguments and then go on to cite (in the comments) other philosophers of his era (well, Heraclitus predates Plato by around a century, but still) is clear evidence that I have "no appreciation for philosophical work".
Either that, or your woefully reductive "If you don't like Plato, you must not appreciate any philosophy ever" demonstrates exactly the kind of simplistic, false dichotomy I despise Plato for using (disguised as a learned, reasoned exploration).
Perhaps if you had bothered to read any of the comments, you would see that I recognize the historical importance of Plato's philosophy (or, as you hilariously describe it, "got us going in philosophy to begin with"), and that is exactly why I dislike him so much: unlike Heraclitus, Plato's model for the universe precludes uncertainty, ambiguity, or subjectivity. He has infected the Western canon with the encumbering belief that things must either be ENTIRELY THIS WAY or ENTIRELY THAT WAY, and somehow he thinks we are capable of comprehending some objective Truth (despite successfully arguing against exactly that with the Allegory of the Cave).
I have read many philosophical works, but I reserve my esteem for thinkers who strive to challenge themselves by asking questions instead of resorting to obvious (and intellectually dishonest) rhetorical devices to provide comforting-but-illusory "answers".
AMEN!
I read this and found it a complete waste of a book. It was clear that Plato was full of himself. Nearly every argument/debate in it was all about how philosophers are right and everyone else is smoking weed.
I personally found some points relatable and sensible but I think the whole "agree to disagree" concept was birthed by over-educated morons. Which Plato displays beautifully in this book. If I learned anything from this book, it's to never waste money on anything written by Plato or his students again.
I read this and found it a complete waste of a book. It was clear that Plato was full of himself. Nearly every argument/debate in it was all about how philosophers are right and everyone else is smoking weed.
I personally found some points relatable and sensible but I think the whole "agree to disagree" concept was birthed by over-educated morons. Which Plato displays beautifully in this book. If I learned anything from this book, it's to never waste money on anything written by Plato or his students again.


I'm inclined to think you're just a troll, as you're a brand new account with no books and no reviews (and you list "philosophy, nonfiction" as your "favorite books", even though I think it's pretty clear that it's asking for favorite books, not favorite genres).
However, let's pretend, just for a minute, that you aren't just trolling: As I said in earlier comments, this is intended to be a humorous review for a book that I genuinely believe to be grossly (and harmfully) over-rated. For a more serious and thoughtful explanation of that belief, I invite you to read my comments in the discussion thread above. If, after reading my more detailed and serious criticism, you still have nothing more insightful or constructive to add to the discussion than the petulant name-calling you display in the above-quoted comment, I invite you to piss off.

In the spirit of Platonic thought-exercises, let's pretend, just for a moment, that someone who can't even be bothered to type out "Oh my God" is worth a reply. Under that pretense, a dialogue about your comment might look something like:
ME: "Your comment is neither informative nor entertaining in any way. Really, it has no value whatsoever. It's just tedious idiocy, and anyone who reads it should feel robbed of the time it took to do so. (Certainly, anyone who takes the time to respond to it should be ashamed of his/herself.) Wouldn't you agree, Strawman?"
STRAWMAN: "Yes, of course, that is obvious!"

In the spirit of Platonic thought-exercises, let's pretend, just for a moment, that someone who can't even be bothered to type out "Oh my God" is wort..."
Anna wrote: "OMG YOU are stupid, what a fact"
Oh my God you are too cool I must take my words back because you wrote some smart-like phrases, it worked mate! Cheers


Plato is a searcher of Truth (capital intended). Truth for him is what Philosophy regularly looks for "the fundamentals". The World of Forms is not some figment of his imagination. It's the very fundamentals of all understanding; universal laws; Truth.
Also, The Allegory of the Cave would best be read by either someone in an epistemology class or with a general background in philosophy, because the allegory refers to ideas about the different levels of consistency in reality. The level right before Truth is mathematics: general principles that encompass specifics about the world, but not everything.
As a searcher, Plato's work is not prescriptive. He would wince at the idea. This is a man who openly acknowledges he knows nothing and believes he will continue to know nothing until he dies. All his questioning is merely preparation to understand what he learns after death.
We continue to study Plato with great devotion because there are some large gold nuggets in his philosophy and we wonder how he came up with them in a society that appeared so antiquated. If you read the whole of The Republic, you see ideas of gender equality (warped and still somewhat primitive, but present and considering his time, innovative). We also respect his method for achieving truth. It's actually pretty cool to walk around questioning experts and manipulating their arguments to find faults and better them. This is why they use The Socratic Method in law schools.
We like "old stuff". We learn a lot from old stuff, and we highly respect what we learn. Therefore, we give it titles that may appear reverent such as "antiquity". We give a lot of stuff reverent titles. It's a sign of respect and love. Does one call a parent's mother "old mom"? No! One calls her "grandmother". Grand + Mother. A mother who is grand/great. That brings with it ideas of age, knowledge, and reverence.








The fact that these philosophers have permeated into the minds of others and influenced ideas throughout the course of history does not surprise me, their problematic ideas are seen everywhere in justifying oppression.


