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You litterally took the words out of my mouth. This is exactly how I felt about this book too!

This review is so on point!

Agreed!

Well, if you have been through that ( R---) thats sort of how it is at least for a while, all consuming.

Any PTSD survivor will tell you it is all consuming. Anything and everything triggers you.

Sexual assault isn't just about the experience of the event itself, it's about what that experience does to your psyche, how it changes your view of the world and how it impacts your relationship with and to everything afterward. Her experience is very common for assault survivors. It is not often shared. I'm so grateful she had the courage to reveal this in such detail. It is all-consuming. I doubt she would have been able to write from that perspective if she hadn't come through the other side of it. I'm forever a fan- her courage and strength are evident in the writing of it!

I haven't read the book yet, but it sounds like she puts into words exactly what it likes to deal with this. I went through something very similar, and it is all consuming and horrible. Anyone with PTSD has trigger words, events, sounds, or places.. it can then cause flashbacks, panic attacks and hysteria. Everyone handles their rape, or other tragedy, differently, so no one has the right to judge - especially someone who hasn't been through a similar experience.

I have to echo these last comments - it genuinely does consume you. That can be really hard to understand because it seems like it should just get better as more and more time passes but I've found that it's very much a wave where sometimes you feel like you're moving on and then the pain and anger come back with a vengeance for no apparent reason. From the outside it can seem self absorbed, but I promise you it's not.

If you haven't been there, you can't understand how it feels to carry this with you for the rest of your life, consciously and unconsciously, sometimes those happen simultaneously. "Insane"? Describe "sane". The haunting makes us insane forever. There are two groups of people - those who understand without saying because they've been there...and everyone else.

I read this book when it first came out, and I completely agree with your thoughts on it. I felt that it was more like a psycho-therapy exercise. Getting everything out by writing it down and starting to deal with it. NOT something to be read by anyone else. I found it self-indulgent, angry (with good reason, but it affected the writing) and full of teenage angst. And before everyone says "You wouldn't understand..." - although not as violent, I HAVE been there, and I still feel this!

Omg thank you for making me feel better about my one star rating of this book.

SHE wasn't the one who made Lila's rape about her. It was the police. She tried to keep them focused but the seeds of bitterness had been sown and their thoughtlessness destroyed Lila.

Shaina, I hope you are doing much better now.

This is a perfect example of the stigma put on trauma victims and their stories. Alice - and any survivor of trauma - has no responsibility to be an “inspiration�� to the public when retelling their story. Literature of this sort has nothing to do with what you “want�� as a reader and everything to do with the author reporting the reality of the system surrounding and aftermath of such traumatic experiences as rape. This book has EVERYTHING to do with surviving rape and the guts and assertiveness it takes to even get a trial. It’s not a coffee table book full of motivational quotes to help you through a hard time. Trauma like this is life-changing - especially when a victim does not get the support and empathy they need: Sebold’s family and friends being a prime example of this. Of course Sebold is going to detail everything; most survivors don’t get the reality of seeing their perpetrator trialled because their stories get glossed over by police or investigators. Of course she is going to complain about her family. When she approaches them about her rape, they make it a spectacle that only affects their lives. Of course she is going to make the rape all about her because no one else will. This review only perpetuates the expectation for victims to warp their story and emotion to better accommodate those around them which only leads to the dangerous silence of victims that allows rapists to still walk the streets. Again, survivors have no responsibility to be your inspiration and do not tell their stories (which they also do not owe the public) for your reaction. This book is a brave and honest account of how we can all do better as allies to trauma victims and sexual assault survivors.

Allyson wrote: "This is a perfect example of the stigma put on trauma victims and their stories. Alice - and any survivor of trauma - has no responsibility to be an “inspiration�� to the public when retelling their..."

Everyone doesn't have to feel the same way about a book and because someone feels differently doesn't mean they wish harm or are not supportive of rape victims. Not every rape victim decides to write a book about it, and when you do, people express how the book made them feel, reading it. It's that simple, nothing more. She was not glossed over by the police, they found her rapist and convicted him and she still bashed the very man who helped her. Some people can be so enclosed in negative energy that even when people were there for her, she could not see it. You can't tell someone what literature is suppose to do for them. Literature is written for others, a diary or journal is written for yourself. It's a review of the book, not rape or the experience of rape victims. If you love the book so much, write a review 5 star review about the book instead of judging and bashing other people's review of the book. What do you really care what I think about the book?

Molly wrote: "If you haven't been there, you can't understand how it feels to carry this with you for the rest of your life, consciously and unconsciously, sometimes those happen simultaneously. "Insane"? Descri..."

Why would you assume I haven't been there? I have and I still hated the book.

Jaylin wrote: "Allyson wrote: "This is a perfect example of the stigma put on trauma victims and their stories. Alice - and any survivor of trauma - has no responsibility to be an “inspiration�� to the public when..."

Very well said x

I do take your point, but I think people experiencing trauma can react that way. I remember going through a stressful event, not even close to rape, and I was like a broken record telling talking about it constantly. Also this book is about her rape so it makes sense that that remains her focus throughout.

Jaylin, your review is Top Class. You summarise by saying it is all about her Trial and about her hatred for herself and her family. She clearly has reasons for self hatred. Her account of her trial is full of discrepancies. She know's she was unsure of which man to identify. And in her memoir she says that Broadwater approached her smiling and saying 'Hey girl, don't I know you from somewhere?'. This clearly didn't happen so it leaves me wondering what can you believe of anything she wrote.

In light of the recent revelations regarding her book, your review seems extremely sharp. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what bothered me about it…you articulated it very well.

Interesting perspective

She lied about it and it’s been proven so don’t feel too bad