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This story is about Nila (true name Nilab), the nineteen-year-old daughter of Afghan immigrants living in Germany, and her year of nightclubs, bad romance, and self-discovery.

Nila felt a lot of shame for the way she lived, in a shabby apartment with her widowed father. She didn't tell anyone that she was Afghan and seemed to change her background story depending on who she was trying to impress. For about the first third of this book I was quite immersed in Nila's exploits and was very worried about her involvement with Marlowe, an older American author who seems intent on keeping Nila on the hook whilst exerting control over her. She and her mates (I hesitate to call them friends) popped pills non-stop and didn't sleep for what seemed like days but then they'd carry on a fairly lucid conversation about Kafka. There's much repetition of clubbing, drinking and drugging. By the end I concluded that I wasn't really the right reader for this book and I'm not embarrassed to admit I didn't understand a lot of it. To me this lands somewhere between 'it was ok' and 'it was good' but it's well written so I rounded to 3 stars.

I feel the need for a shower after finishing this book!

TW: Drug use, domestic abuse, racism

My thanks to Random House & Hogarth Books, via Netgalley, for inviting me to read an advance copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.
Publication Date: January 14, 2025