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5 stars!!

" Every time i fall in love with you there’s lightning"
"There’s only you. Lenny. Every time.. it’s just you" he says, muffled as he kisses me. "And you." He kisses me again. "And you."

Where do I even start 🧍🏻

I just know Cara Bastone cannot write a book better than this.
Have I read her other books? No.
Do I still believe that this her at her peak? Yes.

"But with you, Len, when I met you..... I sort of feel like I met myself"

This was soo good like I actually savored this book so much and the moments that these characters shared, the grief that was dealt with was so beautifully written and the writing itself was masterclass. I was hooked and engaged and in love. Even during my slump when I had no desire to read or when I picked up a book and was disliking it, this book was the only one that stood out and gave me actual feels. I can't comment on the pacing because I was in a slump and travelling so it was slow for me but I didn't mind it because I was enjoyig it so much. Like the effor and the thought process that went through this book was so pure and raw, the complex emotional turmoil was dealt with so swiftly and it showcased the realities of loosing someone and oh my god it was done so well, it was so damn relatable and it made me feel so much.

This was my first Cara book and you bet your ass that I'll binge all her other books because it's so hard for me to find an author who's like five stars on the first read and tbh I just got this arc because the name and the cover were so enticing and honestly looking at it and at the actual story of the book it's so different, I was actually fooled but believe me that the story inside the book was as pretty as the outside of this book and you would be missing out big time if you skip this book over because oh my god it has everything.

"He treats you well?"
"Mom, he walked into hell and dragged me back out"

Lenny was such a well written character, over the span of this book, I related to her so many times and I wanted to give her a hug so bad, the way she would start crying whenever she would remember her best friend was so real and well captured because the bond that we got to experience between lenny and her bestie was so strong that I actually confused her for Lenny's sister and I honestly cant even fathom loosing a friend because I feel like it would be so so bad especially since we spend so much time together, share so many beautiful memories together that I just feel like as long as I am there, My friends are going to be there as well, thinking that they one day might not be there but I would seems so impossible for me and honestly this book made me realize how that could happen. Friends are family, they are like your second home, their presence creates a sense of comfort and sometimes the grief of loosing a friend is so easily overlooked by people and I am so glad Cara showcased it in such a perfect manner. My heart was crying for Lenny.

Lenny was in such a dark place, the place that she found herself in was described as hell, isolated from everyone, feeling guilty for living and feeling like such a heavy presence from her life just disappeared. A feeling of coping up with loss, finding patience and failing and not giving up by standing up again and it was just so emotional and powerful to read. It was so well done. Seeing how she coped with everything and seeing myself be there during those times feeling the same thing, when all hope is removed from your life and for this period of time you dont feel like living or don't have the will to live and then to think that the person you love so much is not even in this world seems so insane unreal that you go into denial. I feel like everything about Lenny's arc was done beautifully.

"Grief is a relationship. It’s the way we figure out how to keep loving them even though they’re gone. And in order to do that we have to keep on going. And going and going. You’re not betraying her by healing, you are honoring her. You are learning to love her exactly as she is. As someone who isn’t here anymore�� that’s who she is now. And this journey through grief.. it’s what we do for great loves of our lives"

Miles, our male main character has such a strong place in this book. He was so cute, wore glasses, introvert and so kind. He was so loyal and he was a person who you WANT in real life because he is so dependable. He is like that one person in your life who you know you can count on in any situation, in any circumstance and he'll be there. I loved that about Mile's so much. His grief was also not overlooked, He did so much while being in grief. I love how it also showed how everyone deals with loss in a different manner and I loved th effort Miles put for his niece and the way he went and tried and did so much for Lenny, to try and help her heal and stand on her own so she could feel free. It was so beautiful to read like my words will never be enough for a character likes Miles. He was written with such unadulterated love that everyone is just bound to fall in love with him.

“Home is where the heart is. My heart died in a cancer ward six months ago."

The romance itself was so beautiful to read, like you don't know how this book consumed me and made me obsessed because as I'm writing this reviews there are scenes roaming around in my brain and I am loving that so much, it's so hard to find a book this good and it feels so good to read something that deliver the way Lenny and Miles did. The banter that they shared gave this book a much light hearted presence that shaped this story into a new level, the slow burn was so well done, the way the romance weaved itself through the grief and the moments share and then the realizations that took place to finally reaching a place of understanding was next level because you're telling me all that happened and it left me breathless so easily?? I loved the romance especially the last few chapters. It felt so satisfying to read. It was such a good story and I honestly will tell you when I say this Cara can write amazing romance alongside any topic because this book is major proof of that. I love how they were each other saviors, it was perfect.

Overall, I feel like everyone should experience this at least once because if you're not reading this then what are you doing with your life!!
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I have been anticipating this book so muchhh and Buket praises Cara Bastone so much so I have to see what they hype is all about! I am sooo excited to read this.

-Buddy reading with Hoda and Buket

*Thank you to Random house publishing- Dial Press Tradeback for an E-Arc of this book!*