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How to Be Enough is validating and made me feel less alone in my battles.

Perfectionism confers some magical superpowers like high standards, strong work ethic, reliability, and deep care for others. But gone awry, it can subject us to a powerful riptide of I should do more, do better, be better.

It felt so understanding of the struggles that come from social anxiety, performance anxiety, or perfectionism. It's not about striving to be perfect. It's about never feeling good enough.

I am hypercritical of myself often, and so many statements resonated with me: I tend to beat myself up, feel disproportionately guilty, or panic when I make a mistake or do something wrong. � I take things harder than most people - problems, mistakes, or conflicts stick with me for a long time. � I often think my ideas, work, or performance are not good enough. � Too picky, or too critical, etc.

The book was relatable and about making the right tweaks, like being 5% less hard on yourself, 10% kinder to yourself, and entering self-compassion - warmth, caring, and understanding for ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate. Self-compassion includes being kind to ourselves, being mindful of our pain, and recognizing personal inadequacy as part of the human condition.

The author offers practical steps for self-acceptance. I liked the template of "I'm impressive or I'm a failure", which moves us from the all-or-nothingness of contingent self-worth and gets us some much-needed wiggle room.

Instead of sticking with the label of "I'm a [valued trait/qualilty] person, try this for some well-earned breathing room: I'm a [valued trait/qualilty] who sometimes [exception]. I'm a smart person who sometimes doesn't know the answer. I'm a capable person who sometimes screws things up. I'm a dedicated person who sometimes doesn't try my hardest. I'm a peaceful person who sometimes loses my temper. I'm a fun person who sometimes has a serious moment. I'm a serious person who sometimes lets loose. I'm a successful person who sometimes fails. I'm a disciplined person who sometimes lets myself go. I'm a healthy person who is sometimes unhealthy. I'm a creative person who sometimes gets blocked. I'm a good student who sometimes gets a low grade. I have good judgment and sometimes make dumb decisions. I'm a productive person who sometimes blows things off. I'm a hard worker who procrastinates. I'm a kind person who can advocate for myself. I'm a good person with some regrets.

It gives advice and perspective when we feel shame or let others or ourselves down.

Give yourself permission to have a full range of human experiences. Allow yourself some grace for past actions your brain finds bad, wrong, dumb, embarrassing, ridiculous, or horrible. You're allowed to feel good about yourself even when your past includes failures. It's called being human.

This whole book made me feel seen and is an insightful tool to help make subtle shifts that will give you a freeing path and allow you to reach excellence while being authentically yourself. You are enough.