Ulysse's Reviews > The Storyteller: Tales of Life and Music
The Storyteller: Tales of Life and Music
by
Whan that I was eighteen
I played in a punk band
Now I am forty-four
A daddy and a husband
O Summer of 98
How I remember thee
Sitting in that smelly van
In the middle of BC
From Vancouver to Winnipeg
Stopping in many towns
Playing all-ages shows
Behaving like teen clowns
Sometimes we played like shit
Sometimes our band was super tight
Sometimes thinking of our mamas
Made us weep at night
Eating Mac and Cheese at a gas station
In North Saskatchewan
We saw the Northern Lights
And felt so woebegone
For this was our first time
Completely on our own
Travelling the Eastern road
That led us far from home
Mostly we slept in tents
Or out under the stars
Only once we stayed at Shitty’s house
Who owned like thirteen scars
We'd met him at a gig
He was friends with Mr Plow
He grew potatoes in his backyard
Had a TV the size of a cow!
All he ever watched was wrestling
His house filled with the cries
Of glistening men in tights
Face paint round their eyes
In downtown Winnipeg we rocked
The Royal Albert Hotel
While a dead body was found
In an upstairs suite—oh well
In Brandon (or was it Moose Jaw?)
We played a too-long set
The guys who were on after us
Were terribly upset
Said they were going to kick
The living shit out of us
So we loaded double-quick
And sped off into the woods
Another night at the Wash & Slosh
A bar in Saskatoon
Which doubled up as laundry mat
And looked like a saloon
Darren from the Francophobes
Smashed his own beer glass
With a backswing of his guitar
But he thought it was some ass-
Hole who’d hurled a beer at him
From the dark edge of the stage
It took five of us young punks
To alleviate his rage
From Calgary to Lethbridge
From Regina Town to Banff
Five unshaven teenagers
Farted in a van (fff)
Me I’d taken for the ride
Melville’s Moby Dick
Didn't read a chapter
Of that monumental brick
So many more adventures
Happened on the tour
I wouldn’t want to bore you though
And keep you up till four
by

Ulysse's review
bookshelves: 2025, breathing-authors, essays-nonfiction, music-related, re-verse-views
Mar 21, 2025
bookshelves: 2025, breathing-authors, essays-nonfiction, music-related, re-verse-views
Whan that I was eighteen
I played in a punk band
Now I am forty-four
A daddy and a husband
O Summer of 98
How I remember thee
Sitting in that smelly van
In the middle of BC
From Vancouver to Winnipeg
Stopping in many towns
Playing all-ages shows
Behaving like teen clowns
Sometimes we played like shit
Sometimes our band was super tight
Sometimes thinking of our mamas
Made us weep at night
Eating Mac and Cheese at a gas station
In North Saskatchewan
We saw the Northern Lights
And felt so woebegone
For this was our first time
Completely on our own
Travelling the Eastern road
That led us far from home
Mostly we slept in tents
Or out under the stars
Only once we stayed at Shitty’s house
Who owned like thirteen scars
We'd met him at a gig
He was friends with Mr Plow
He grew potatoes in his backyard
Had a TV the size of a cow!
All he ever watched was wrestling
His house filled with the cries
Of glistening men in tights
Face paint round their eyes
In downtown Winnipeg we rocked
The Royal Albert Hotel
While a dead body was found
In an upstairs suite—oh well
In Brandon (or was it Moose Jaw?)
We played a too-long set
The guys who were on after us
Were terribly upset
Said they were going to kick
The living shit out of us
So we loaded double-quick
And sped off into the woods
Another night at the Wash & Slosh
A bar in Saskatoon
Which doubled up as laundry mat
And looked like a saloon
Darren from the Francophobes
Smashed his own beer glass
With a backswing of his guitar
But he thought it was some ass-
Hole who’d hurled a beer at him
From the dark edge of the stage
It took five of us young punks
To alleviate his rage
From Calgary to Lethbridge
From Regina Town to Banff
Five unshaven teenagers
Farted in a van (fff)
Me I’d taken for the ride
Melville’s Moby Dick
Didn't read a chapter
Of that monumental brick
So many more adventures
Happened on the tour
I wouldn’t want to bore you though
And keep you up till four
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Reading Progress
Started Reading
March 21, 2025
– Shelved as:
2025
March 21, 2025
– Shelved
March 21, 2025
– Shelved as:
breathing-authors
March 21, 2025
– Shelved as:
essays-nonfiction
March 21, 2025
– Shelved as:
music-related
March 21, 2025
– Shelved as:
re-verse-views
March 21, 2025
–
Finished Reading
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Mar 21, 2025 05:58AM

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Thank you, Jaidee! I look forward to reading about your experiences touring with a band in Canada ;-)

Thank you very much, Peter, I'm glad you enjoyed it :-)

That's the problem with band experience books: they're all sort of the same. Played in this town and this crazy shit happened to us, got back in the van, drove for 12 hours, fell asleep, farted, didn't have any time to read. Sailor stories have more variety I feel.


from Vancouver to Saskatchewan
Chewing on cheeses and beef
While of Moby, you get not a peep!

Ah thank you Noam, the thing is, after rhyming Saskatchewan with So Woebegone, I felt as wrung out as an old dishrag :-)

from Vancouver to Saskatchewan
Chewing on burgers and beer
While of Moby, you get not a peer!"
We did chew a few burgers
But not a lot of beer
Of the legal drinking age
We were shy of just one year!




We had so much fun, Laysee, we didn't even need drugs :-)

Ah so you remember my first profile pic, Violeta? Yes that was me on stage, double my punk rock age, playing solo electric guitar and singing, auditioning for an indie festival called Folk You. Unfortunately, I didn't pass the audition. The guy running the festival walked out before the end of my set. Guess he didn't deem my music worthy of Folk You, which is kind of ironic given my musical roots ;-)

Ken, although I have a PhD in weird rhymes, I got a plain D in narration 101. Telling stories is really not my strong suit.
Brick in French is brique, but big fat books are called ±è²¹±¹Ã©²õ as in: je suis en train de lire un pavé en ce moment which translates to: I'm currently reading a cobble stone.

Thank you, Mark :-) I never saw the Foo Fighters, but the first concert I even went to was Nirvana, and to this day my ears still remember Grohl's titanic drumming!

Thank you very much for reading this, Keri. I can see how this would be a great book to listen to while driving or doing the dishes :-)