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This review has spoilers!

Bitches...

What were you doing when you were 16? Checking your boobs each morning to see if the Boob Fairy had paid you a visit? Sneaking out of the house to the park down the street where you and your six friends would share a single can of beer and pretend you're drunk? Making out? Homework? Fighting with your parents? Watching scary movies?

Katniss is sixteen years old and she's been in two Hunger Games, fighting against twenty-odd opponents to the death. Then she becomes the symbol of the rebel leadership and helps overthrow an evil empire before she can legally drink.

So I suppose it's really ridiculous of anyone to expect her capable of then going on to be president of this new world after everything she's been through. Nobody would be evil enough to force that on her considering her fragile mental state...




















Except me.

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Maleficent and I go way back...

But this is fantasy, right, it's not like children or teenagers are really capable of this much! It would be totally unrealistic of me to expect much more of Katniss considering all she's done...

Well, except for the cute little nine-year-old Htoo twins who lived in the Karen National Rebel camp when the enemy came and all the soldiers ran away leaving their AK-47's. These two nine-year-olds thought it'd be a hoot to pick up a few guns and hold off the entire invading Burmese army... successfully.

And that would be a really cute story except for the fact that they went on to create their own army who were convinced that these two little chain-smokin' tykes had magical powers and were invincible.

But I mean, they're a fluke! It's not like any other kids did great things. Well, unless you're counting Iqbal Masih who was made a slave at the age of five and chained to his loom for twelve hours a day. Still, the little tyke managed to escape when he was ten so he only had to endure the first half of his life with unspeakable cruelty and torturous living conditions that left him unable to grow.

Luckily, when he got out he ran off into the sunset and lived happily ever after. *Kat is interrupted by whispering* Wait - what? He didn't? *More whispering* He joined the Bonded Labor Liberation Front of Pakistan as their spokesperson, going RIGHT back into the slave trade that had abused and tormented him for five years so that he could rescue another three THOUSAND children from slavery?

Shit.


Get off the computer you lazy little cow and go rescue some child slaves!

Oh and by the way, he only stopped after two years because he'd affected carpet manufacturing so much that carpet export in those years dropped by $200,000,000 and he was assasinated in 1995 for being too damn awesome.

At 12 years old my greatest achievement was not killing myself while I shaved my legs!

I wasn't going to mention St Joan of Arc because that comparison would be a little too easy but since I have time I'll just quietly mutter that she helped lead France to a number of tactical defeats in the Hundred Year's War, crowned a King and was Burned as a witch before she was nineteen years old.

But, no, it's too much to ask that Katniss step up into a role like that! After all, she had PTSD and she was traumatized. It would be evil for any adult to keep her on retainer as a figurehead to inspire the people. Which, by the way, if I were an adult in power in this particular world - I would totally do.

But Katniss isn't the only one I'd keep to do my bidding. I'd keep Peeta around too. Occasionally, I'd pull them out of their little therapy/rejuvination bubble to do short propos on how the new unified nation was moving forward in positive steps and how everything was improving.

And since I am only moderately evil and am actually very fond of Katniss and Peeta, I find the fact that they were allowed to go home and live out their quiet little lives peacefully to be very unrealistic. In fact, it was the only really unrealistic thing in this novel and let's remember that I'm including genetically altered mutts and beams that can melt your skin off on that list!

So she did a little thing like shooting President Coin. Let's be realistic. Until a few days earlier, the Capitol didn't even know who President Coin was and every single district apart from 13 probably had never seen her. She has the personality of a dead fish left on hot concrete for three days that had been shat on - and the charisma to match! I doubt many of the residents of district 13 even held any great love for her! Most of the population of Panem was probably going to immediately assume that President Coin somehow had it coming. After all, if Katniss shoots you - you probably did something bad. Something very, very bad!

The election of Paynor was just ridiculous and unrealistic. You have a nation so fractured that it's fourteen different districts have never cooperated or worked or even really MET each other. Plus the fact that they're in economic collapse and dealing with the fallout of a costly war.

I just can't bring myself to believe that they wouldn't drug Katniss up, put her smiling face on stage and have some kind of deciding power working behind closed doors while Katniss waved happily to the smiling faces and kissed babies.

It reminds me of that scene in Ender's Game when Ender is reminiscing about how he's just won the war as one of the greatest generals of recent history and suddenly, in the clean up effort, he's become useless because the adults don't think that the same leadership and skills it requires to lead an army, could also be useful to rebuild a world.

But Katniss and Peeta have the perfect matching set of skills to help put the world back together and they already have the love and trust of most of the population! I'm not saying they'd want to do it. I'm saying I doubt, realistically, that they'd have a choice in the matter.

Now, apart from the ending - which I didn't mind, just was baffled by - I loved and adored this book.

Peeta's hijacking was devestating, Katniss' mental breakdown was harrowing. Finnick! *cries* and I'd really held out that maybe somehow Cinna had survived and been kept as a prisoner like Peeta - but alas, no! And everytime he was mentioned in the costuming etc I wanted to cry.

The battles, the politics, it was all such an amazing novel and the end to an amazing series. I'm honestly in love with Suzanne Collins because she's such a brave writer. She's not scared to go to dark places and she's not scared to scar her characters up a bit. She's happy to take the audience out of their comfort zone and I LOVE that about her.

Catching Fire and Mockingjay could never match the perfect pacing and brilliant plot of The Hunger Games but they're still amazing books full of suspense, action, great characterization and thoughtful dialogue. They reflect circumspectly on our society as Collin's asks us to see ourselves through the eyes of Katniss.

I've heard a little bit of mumbling about the relationship between Peeta and Katniss. It's interesting to bring up because I've heard the concept that Katniss doesn't deserve Peeta a lot. Why? Is she as patient, devoted and understanding of Peeta and he is of her? Absolutely not. Katniss regularly fails at patient and kind. I'd also highly doubt that this would come of any shock to Peeta. He didn't fall in love with her not knowing who she was. He's watched her for years and he has ALWAYS been the one to feel more deeply, act unselfishly in her favor and to give more of himself. That's who they are as a couple. Katniss on the other hand, I'm relieved to say, is a female character who isn't hung up on emotions and the postures of love. She loves Peeta enough to make herself sick and crazy at the thought of what's happening to him - but she's also a functional, strong person who has a job to do. She's not like Bella who falls to pieces when Edward leaves. She can't afford to and she's never been one to sit around and obsess over how perfect Peeta's hair is or comment on his body like it's a marble statue.

I guess what I'm saying is that if Peeta feels like he deserves Katniss and vice versa, then who am I to argue?

So whilst I didn't satisfactorily buy the ending, I really loved this book and highly recommend this series - even if I had to out myeslf as an evil, plotting witch with political aspirations of taking over the world to do it!

*Can I also just add that Katniss' mother is the saddest excuse for a human being - in reality, she's a sack of shit who should never have had children. I can't think of more horrible things to call her right now because I'm so angry at her! Gah!