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Did you finish the book? If not, you should. It actually stresses that you should not blame others for anything. That they were doing the best with what they were taught by our society. He says not to blame your parents or anyone- rather to make your own choices now and have peace in those choices and not judge yourself for being your true self.

Perhaps you misunderstand. I still think that the reader is encouraged to see forces outside themselves as being the source of their problems (e.g., parents, society). He may eventually say that you shouldn't hold that against them because it won't do you any good, but I don't see that as a recipe for any kind of improvement. I suppose it might help some people feel good to have permission to throw up their hands and say, "I am who I am, and it's all because I grew up in this society surrounded by these people, although who I am isn't really their fault either." Not that self improvement is about placing blame. It does however help if a person is willing to take responsibility for themselves and their situation. I think this book is not for those that are able to distinguish between blame and responsibility.

You pick up a book about ancient toltek, and expect a modern philosophical take?

So, you are such a happy person that you feel the need to write a negative review for the book (instead of moving on and accepting that it's not for you), and convolute up some weird projection at readers who might enjoy it, that they are blaming their parents or society?

An autonomous human being (18 and above) isn't responsible for society's or their blood relation's happiness either. If an individual isn't breaking laws, never deliberately planning on hurting someone (physically or emotionally), or is being a nuisance (ex. disturbing someone's sleep at night), they have the full liberty and right to pursue what they want, and ignore anyone else that attempt to be aggravating.

Do not nonsensically twist the healthy disconnect of toxic people that either wish to impose their own story of how life should be lead on others, with their blatant insistence of everything needing to revolve around their happiness, as "blaming" of "society and parents".

We are responsible for our happiness, and thus we are also responsible for what we allow into our lives, sight and minds.

However, the truth is that there are people responsible for another's unhappiness. That's why there are laws. To meter a person's actions. Where past a certain point, it's considered damage to someone. I hope Adam isn't suggesting that if a drunk driver hits a pedestrian, the victim is somehow the one responsible and not the drunk driver (no one is to be blamed for another's unhappiness)!

But Don Miguel in general, teaches us a greater lesson. That we can turn any situation around to positivity and that we have a commitment to ourselves.

Responsibility to your life is making your own decisions and choices, without expecting another to conform to yours, and also without conforming to another. Self-improvement is relative to what one strives to achieve in life. Unless you are of the opinion that people should only improve what YOU think they should improve.

And Don Miguel has laid fantastic groundwork for this, to ensure we are doing it the right way. Be honest and ethical, establish good communication (don't assume, dare to ask) to avoid fights/blame/negativity, and put in your best effort per your strength and talents. This is the complete opposite of sitting there, and being mad at one's circumstances, while doing absolutely nothing and expecting them to magically change.

And treating your life well, is also cutting out the toxic and negative people, no matter who they might be (but without being bad towards them, it's their own dreams and agreements that caused that behavior to you after all).

It seems a lot of the harshest critics stem out of the mentality that there is only one right way to be "responsible" or "moralistic" or whatever. Namely their way. These critics talk a lot about responsibility, but then insist that people are not allowed to take control of their own lives or seek happiness in any way that doesn't fit these critic's approval!

Well, to quote Don Miguel, it's the story they have in their minds, and we needn't worry, although it's certainly a contradictory one!

👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼 totally agree with your thoughts. Especially that every explanation is conclusory, circular, and intentionally unclear part! (Tho I think the writer didn’t even have the ability to intentionally make things unclear. He really just couldn’t make things clear himself without massive logic jumps). I think this book is being quoted so much by those who really don’t want to think about the fact that they are responsible for their own actions, thanks to the part “others are angry bc they already have negative things in them...��. I mean, aren’t we supposed to be angry when a random person on a street say rude things? ... Oh maybe this book is for those who randomly shout rude things on the street indeed.

Why do I feel like you may be the only person that actually DID read the book? Yes, he very clearly states that our parents and society are to blame for "domesticating" us with all of these "small agreements". Your review is accurate and relevant. Thank you.

Ditto and agreed

I thought he said you couldn't blame your parents, because they couldn't help the way they were raised and couldn't change?