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"You chose books and I chose looks." Matilda's mom kills me. I chose looks. I like to look smart too, though. In high school my bro's friends would pick on me for owning so many books. I pretended to be dumb like Matilda and said I hadn't read any of the books and they were trophies to make me look smart. That answer was apparently the right thing to say (probably about the only time I've ever said the right thing either. If it is right to say either like eye-ther I said it like eee-thur, and so forth). (Scary glimpse into my mind, I conciously pronounce it both ways so I'll have a percentage chance of getting it right.)

One of my favorite childhood books. I can't remember anything good about grade school that wasn't reading Roald Dahl (and a few other not-Roald-Dahl-peoples, to be fair *mutters*). My other memories are stuff like getting puked on and having to wear (all day!) nasty clothes from the '70s from the lost and found. I remember this boy my twin and I absolutely loathed 'cause he ate tuna fish sandwiches with his mouth open (yuck!). We'd go home at the end of the day and pool stories of the day about nasty stuff like that. One of the classes we were allowed to share (public school systems apparently believe in seperating twins. Bastards. It's not like we were gonna form a group and hate people together...oh, wait) was English class. I loved it when Lauren got her turn to read aloud. She did the best ever Matilda's mom. My favorite characters were the nasty ones like Matilda's parents. The funny nasty ones. Trunchbull was disgusting. She actually kept kids in an iron maiden type thing. Vicious! I love Roald Dahl. He'd have hated tuna fish sandwiches and that disgusting '80s fad of "a train going through a tunnel", fo' sho.

I can't believe the big deal made about margarine versus butter. My mom was permanently on a diet and I cannot drink real milk to this day (yes, I know that skim milk is basically white water). Same deal for margarine. I might not have ever had real butter. So what if Miss Honey had real butter? She had food! That also appealed to me greatly as a kid, 'cause we were not allowed to have anything that might tempt my mother away from her diets (she broke them in secret and hid the evidence. Meanie). I remember reading Matilda and getting hungry over all the food stuff. The Twits didn't make me hungry (my bird is shooting me nervous glances right about now, in case I get any pie making ideas). Roald Dahl wouldn't have starved his kids 'cause he wanted to look hot for book jacket photo shoots.

p.s. The Twits is my favorite Roald Dahl book.
p.s.s. James and the Giant Peach is also really great. The only time I didn't hate my classmates (we had feuds over The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) was when we related to loving Roald Dahl. Except they sucked at reading aloud so I really did still hate their guts.