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So I am in a group on Facebook called Friends and Fiction. And one woman, Vicki, posted a photo of the opening sentence in her book.

Is a life defined by circumstances, or do circumstances define a life?

She writes: Am I having a senior moment or do these 2 phrases mean the same thing? I think I know what the author was trying to say, but she worded it incorrectly?

I had to think about it a bit, but I definitely have a perspective. It was not aligned with the majority from what I can discern. Curious what you all think??

I will share my response tomorrow (just to add suspense lol)!!

That’s actually a really interesting question. Less concerned about the grammar because I think there’s a point to be made for the question. Which comes first and which is which� I’m so curious about which one you think comes first and why�. I don’t really wanna answer the question just yet. I want to think about it some more. But I think the question is a worthy one. I think I already have a point of view and I wonder if I also am in the majority or the minority. I can’t wait for this discussion.

I'll plunge in. At first glance, I thought that both statements are the same. As I thought about it more, this came to me.

I prefer the emphasis on "Life" in the first question. Life is what's important here - not circumstances. I'm not a grammar expert, but to me, the question makes more sense when it is written like that.

So I think that, "Is a life defined by circumstances?" is more correct.

@Amy, I think that Life is influenced by circumstances, but not necessarily defined by them.

Not sure where I come out on this but my initial thought is that it's not really a grammar problem - more a contrast of philosophical ideas like the whole chicken/egg debate. It strikes me that the first, which starts with the totality- a life - is more a backward looking reflective assessment, whereas the second is a forwards looking -- what happens happens and in the end you have a life.

So I guess my current analysis is that they are the same thing in the end.

Will give it some more thought. Being a lawyer, I can absolutely convincingly argue more than one opinion - and actually not be able to choose which I believe.

I am totally with Theresa around the philosophical notion of chicken and egg and the totality idea. But I think opposite to Holly about which is ultimately which and I don't think they are absolutely the same.

How does one define a life? Circumstances are only a piece of it. Its how one lived and loved and what they believed. How they dreamed, thought, felt, and acted.... When I think of circumstances, I think of Heidigger's idea of being "thrown". What we are thrown into. Race, gender, a family, an ethnicity, a disability.... Those are circumstances. But thrown is only a part of question. Its what we do with our throwness. There is a famous (to me) paper from the Existential Psychoanalytic movement called Throwness and Possibility. Its always both. What one does with one's Throwness. The decisions we make and how we act on them. Those always supercede circumstances...

So how does that relate to the question above. Circumstances define a part of life, but not the only thing that defines a life. Life is not defined by circumstances. That's only half of it - the other half is the possibilities of what we did with it. What we did with our throwness. Circumstances define a life? By my definition, yes. First the circumstance, and then how we make it malleable and maybe transform it and maybe not. Maybe we accept it, and maybe we let it define our lives. Does everyone stay Catholic? Or stay the gender they were assigned? And yet both situations are a part of a life story. So is divorce or death or transatlantic moves.... Those circumstances told part of a story that shaped us. But then the story moves forward. I like to think that's what Theresa was getting at when she said the second half is forward thinking or forward moving.

You guys helped me define and articulate that. i can't wait to see how others saw it, and what Anita took from it especially....

Yes - I now see Holly was trying to say the same thing as me, even if I somehow liked the second part better as the expression.

Amy, I was trying to say the same thing as you.

Grammar aside, I wonder if the author intended to suggest a difference in timing or causation. Do you define your life in terms of the circumstances you created? Versus, do your initial circumstances define what your life will become? In this way, the first is more empowering. The second phrase suggests that the luck of birth will define your life.

I thought about this phrase for a little while. At first glance, this sentence does seem repetitive. A life and circumstances are two abstract ideas that at first thought don't really compute. So, I changed them.

A life = general you. Circumstances = situations/conditions you find yourself in.

Are you defined by the situations you find yourself in, or are the situations you find yourself in defined by you?

So, the sentence is two different things, but also poorly conveyed.

I think the answer to this question is a bit of a paradox.

First, when you are born, you are born into circumstances outside of your control. These circumstances start to shape who you are and help to define you as a person. Level of parental guidance and attention, race, economic and social standing. Then through the person you are becoming, you start to make decisions that create a set of circumstances. And then these circumstances and how you deal with them again shape and define you, which then leads to more decisions and more circumstances.

Breaking cycles is hard but can be done. But to break a cycle (even a mundane, normal, healthy cycle) takes a combination of circumstances and choices. I'm reminded of Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell. The people featured in his book made decisions and put in hard work and time. But their circumstances also allowed for the opportunities and availability.

So, what defines a life, or a person? There is an answer, but like the weather, so much original conditions and information must first be known to 100% accurately define that it's a question that will never be answered.

I haven't yet read the other comments, but it does sound to me like the two phrases mean the same thing.

Oh.... Jason, you've put it quite nicely, so maybe I can be convinced I'm wrong:

"A life = general you. Circumstances = situations/conditions you find yourself in.

Are you defined by the situations you find yourself in, or are the situations you find yourself in defined by you?"

Theresa wrote: "Not sure where I come out on this but my initial thought is that it's not really a grammar problem - more a contrast of philosophical ideas like the whole chicken/egg debate. It strikes me that the..."

I like the perspective of looking back vs looking forward. I guess the question then becomes if you believe in determinism or free-will.

Amy wrote: "I am totally with Theresa around the philosophical notion of chicken and egg and the totality idea. But I think opposite to Holly about which is ultimately which and I don't think they are absolute..."

I have never heard the expression of "throwness"

I think of a baseball (imagine that - me thinking of baseball) If you throw a ball, it's on a path. You can even add some spin and movement to the ball to make that path change. With a knuckleball, you add nothing to it, and it moves the most in an unpredictable manner. But then there are factors that can change the path the ball is set upon. The wind, the batter making contact, hitting the ground, being caught and thrown again.

I hope this is making sense and just crazy rambling. A person is put on a path. Then things outside of the person control and help shape it. The things you mentioned but also events outside of a person's control. A death, a mentor, a global pandemic. Where the ball and a person are different is the ability to make choices. The ability to stop in mid-air and decide that the path it was thrown is not the path you want to travel, and you can decide to change course.

Jason wrote: "Theresa wrote: "Not sure where I come out on this but my initial thought is that it's not really a grammar problem - more a contrast of philosophical ideas like the whole chicken/egg debate. It str..."

Exactly!

My first impression ....

The first half of the statement/question is passive voice
The second half is active voice.

So in the first you have life ... and it is passively defined by circumstances.

In the second part of the question you have circumstances actively influencing/defining a life.

What great answers from everyone! I am still debating the grammar, and wondering if this line was left in tact to cause such a debate?

I found myself agreeing with Holly, but I too could be coaxed to a different answer

The phrases mean exactly the same. As Tessa says, the first is passive voice, and the second is active voice.

Maybe the author meant ‘do circumstances define a life or does a life define circumstances� �

After having slept on it, I think that the two phrases do mean the same thing.

I'm reminded of the old question. "Is the glass half full or is it half empty?" To me, the glass is both.

Just to tease you a little bit longer, the messages and likes regarding the Facebook post are:

52% on one side of the question and 48% on the other as of 10 am this morning.

227 indicators of a side overall (either by responding or liking someone else's response). There could be a bit of double counting in there with a single person liking multiple responses with which they agree.

My view later.

I will say that the responses here are a more in depth and thoughtful than those over on the original post for the most part.

Holly R W wrote: "After having slept on it, I think that the two phrases do mean the same thing.

I'm reminded of the old question. "Is the glass half full or is it half empty?" To me, the glass is both."

If the glass is half empty, that just means you are that much closer to a refill. hahaha

Yes, the glass does not experience anything different, but causation seems to be different between a half full or half empty glass. The outcome is the same but the way you word it insinuates a different method at getting to that point.

A glass half full connotes a positive action. So, the glass being filled to the halfway point. When the glass half empty connotes a negative. Pouring out or drinking the other half of the glass. Did you lose something or gain something.

Though the end result is the same, it's a different causation which leads to a different outlook which then leads to different decisions.

Curious on your thoughts.

Anita wrote: "I will say that the responses here are a more in depth and thoughtful than those over on the original post for the most part.
..."

That does not surprise me at all! We are all readers and discussions in depth at varying levels are part of our DNA. Plus there is no mere 'like' option. To indicate any reaction you have to go to the comment box!

Well put, Jason!

You can describe a life either way. To go back to my perception, one is looking back at a life while other is more in the moment or looking forward. Same with that glass of water.

@ Jason,

Re: Is a glass half full or half empty?

If you look at an actual glass that is filled halfway, you can see that it is both half full and half empty. Both statements are true.

If you are talking about the glass emotionally, depending on your mood or personal level of optimism, it can be either half full or half empty. Since moods go up and down, your answer might vary depending on the day.

I've learned to see the glass as both half full and half empty in a philosophical way. It can be an apt description of life.

I really like Jayson and Theresa’s thoughts on forward thinking versus backward looking. I do think it matters about whether or not you see a glasses half full versus half empty. That’s what I was trying to say. That you start with the circumstance. The circumstance is the situation with the glasses level. But it’s what you make up the circumstance and how you invite possibility that really defines a life.

This is a fascinating philosophical question that touches on the nature of human agency and meaning.

I think both perspectives hold some truth. Our circumstances certainly shape us - we're born into particular families, cultures, time periods, and socioeconomic conditions that influence our opportunities, values, and worldviews. These factors create the boundaries within which we live.

Yet simultaneously, we have remarkable capacity to respond to our circumstances in ways that transform their meaning. Two people facing identical hardships might respond completely differently - one finding purpose and growth, another despair. We make choices about how to interpret and act within our circumstances that fundamentally shape our lives.

I'm reminded of Viktor Frankl's experiences in Nazi concentration camps, where he observed that even in the most dehumanizing conditions, individuals retained the freedom to choose their attitude. This "last of human freedoms" - the ability to choose one's response - suggests that while circumstances constrain us, they don't fully define us.

Perhaps a life is best understood as an ongoing dialogue between circumstance and response - neither fully determined by external factors nor completely free from them. I like the idea of our agency having an influence on our circumstances. For example, in making life decisions to move across country or to take a job that many people think is a risk. (These are things I've personally done). Otherwise, we are basically letting circumstances have the upper hand.

So while most of you (to my sheer delight) went hard charging toward the philosophical discussion, I definitely thought it was a question about GRAMMAR.

My response to Vicki was as follows:

Is a life defined by circumstances, or are circumstances defined by a life?

Fixed it for you, Vicki 😉. You are definitely NOT having a senior moment in my opinion, fwiw.

Fun topic to discuss! I love grammar.

I think many of you here discussed my re-written question. But the question, as posed - - well, I really really think both parts of the original question are the same thing. Substitute an actual circumstance for the word circumstances, and it becomes more clear.

Is a life defined by a divorce?
Does a divorce define a life?

I think this is the same question, in different voices. In both cases, the question being posed is how is one's life impacted by one's divorce.

So personally, I think the editor missed the boat here.

But now, we can go on to continue discussing the question the author intended to pose, and I think the way most people are reading it, lol!!

Jason wrote: "I thought about this phrase for a little while. At first glance, this sentence does seem repetitive. A life and circumstances are two abstract ideas that at first thought don't really compute. So, ..."

I think you are answering the question the author INTENDED to pose. But I disagree that she actually posed it.

I do love your response though.

Theresa wrote: "Not sure where I come out on this but my initial thought is that it's not really a grammar problem - more a contrast of philosophical ideas like the whole chicken/egg debate. It strikes me that the..."

Put on your very precise lawyer hat and tell me these two phrases are different. . . .I see how they might be interpreted that way because the intelligent brain reframes it to make sense. But I don't think it computes from a English language standpoint.

KateNZ wrote: "The phrases mean exactly the same. As Tessa says, the first is passive voice, and the second is active voice.

Maybe the author meant ‘do circumstances define a life or does a life define circumst..."

We agree lol!

Joy D wrote: "This is a fascinating philosophical question that touches on the nature of human agency and meaning.

I think both perspectives hold some truth. Our circumstances certainly shape us - we're born in..."

Another great answer to the question I believe the author intended us to ponder. Fascinating, and you frame your answer very clearly and well.

You will notice I didn't actually pick one because I wasn't sure which one best fit my answer, lol.

Holly R W wrote: "@ Jason,

Re: Is a glass half full or half empty?..."

In my mind, I always thought it depended on which way you were going with the glass.

If you are in the process of filling it, it's half full. If you are in the process of drinking it and lessening the amount, it's half empty.

Anita wrote: "I think this is the same question, in different voices. In both cases, the question being posed is how is one's life impacted by one's divorce.

So personally, I think the editor missed the boat here. ..."

Agreed, though Jason did almost have me convinced (though I'd need to go back and reread what it was he originally said that had me rethinking my original stance).

Anita wrote: "Theresa wrote: "Not sure where I come out on this but my initial thought is that it's not really a grammar problem - more a contrast of philosophical ideas like the whole chicken/egg debate. It str..."

Hah - I'll see if my 'lawyer hat' is up for it! It's been overused a bit this week.

LibraryCin wrote: "Holly R W wrote: "@ Jason,

Re: Is a glass half full or half empty?..."

In my mind, I always thought it depended on which way you were going with the glass.

If you are in the process of filling i..."

I love this thought!!

Joy D wrote: "You will notice I didn't actually pick one because I wasn't sure which one best fit my answer, lol."

Ha ha, smart woman!!!!

Anita wrote: "Jason wrote: "I thought about this phrase for a little while. At first glance, this sentence does seem repetitive. A life and circumstances are two abstract ideas that at first thought don't really..."

I see now. The second half should be "defined by". It's amazing your brain reads what it's wants to read. I originally thought it was the same and then convinced myself differently. As other people wrote the correct version, I still read them the same. HAHAHA.

So, I concede. It is the same.

Jason wrote: "..So, I concede. It is the same."

LOL! This is exactly why I posted it. The Facebook group was having the very same struggles. I thought it was pretty fascinating that the original poster noticed it at all. I never would have noticed if I just picked up and started the novel.

But the more I thought about it, the more I believed she was correct. From a grammatical perspective.

It's honestly a lot more interesting to think about the question the author was likely meaning to pose though!

Anita

I"m late to the game; the questions are the same, but the phrasing shades them differently. If she wants to have opposites, she'd have to ask, "Does a life define circumstances?"