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“You can’t listen someone out of being abusive or cruel.”
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“We also fear that if we listen too carefully, we might discover that our thinking is flawed or that another person’s emotions might be too much to bear. And so we retreat into our own heads, talk over one another, or reach for our phones.”
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“We all do it (although not with as much flair as my great-great-aunt) because gossip allows us to judge who is trustworthy, who we want to emulate, how much we can get away with, and who are likely allies or adversaries. In this way, listening to gossip contributes to our development as ethical, moral members of society.
We are socialized by the gossip we hear from our families, friends, colleagues, teachers, and religious leaders.”
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We are socialized by the gossip we hear from our families, friends, colleagues, teachers, and religious leaders.”
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“Katherine Hampsten says it’s like a game of catch with a lump of clay. Each person catches it and molds it with their perceptions before tossing it back. Things like education, race, gender, age, relationship with the other person, frame of mind, connotations of words, and distractions all influence how the clay is shaped.”
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“Everyone, though, to a greater or lesser extent, has some anxiety about, or some discomfort with, the strong feelings that can tumble out of people when they find a willing listener. Human beings, as much as we try to contain it or pretend otherwise, are brimming with emotion. It can sometimes feel like too much to take on someone else’s inner chaos when we can barely cope with our own.”
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David’s 2024 Year in Books
Take a look at David’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
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