

“The zombie looks like a man, walks like a man, eats and otherwise functions fully, yet is devoid of the spark. It represents the nagging doubt that lays deep in the heart of even the most zealous believer: behind all of your pretty songs and stained glass, this is what you really are. Shambling meat. Our true fear of the zombie was never that its bite would turn us into one of them. Our fear is that we are already zombies.”
― This Book Is Full of Spiders
― This Book Is Full of Spiders

“SHUT UP. Both of you. You're coming with me." To me he said, "Put some pants on."
"Fuck you. This is my house. I make the rules. You take your clothes off. John, get the Twister mat.”
― This Book Is Full of Spiders
"Fuck you. This is my house. I make the rules. You take your clothes off. John, get the Twister mat.”
― This Book Is Full of Spiders

“I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay”
― This Book Is Full of Spiders
― This Book Is Full of Spiders

“You see, Frank found out the hard way that the dark things lurking in the night don鈥檛 haunt old houses or abandoned ships. They haunt minds.”
― John Dies at the End
― John Dies at the End
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