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“Attention to the meaning of the central male slang term for sexual intercourseâ€�"fuck"â€� is instructive. To fuck a woman is to have sex with her. To fuck someone in another contextâ€� means to hurt or cheat a person. And when hurled as a simple insult (“fuck youâ€�) the intent is denigration and the remark is often a prelude to violence or the threat of violence. Sex in patriarchy is fucking. That we live in a world in which people continue to use the same word for sex and violence, and then resist the notion that sex is routinely violent and claim to be outraged when sex becomes overtly violent, is testament to the power of patriarchy.”
― bell hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

“Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with the women they chose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them.”
― bell hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

“In our rapidly changing society we can count on only two things that will never change. What will never change is the will to change and the fear of change. It is the will to change that motivates us to seek help. It is the fear of change that motivates us to resist the very help we seek. —Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Intimacy”
― bell hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

“We need to highlight the role women play in perpetuating and sustaining patriarchal culture so that we will recognize patriarchy as a system women and men support equally, even if men receive more rewards from that system. Dismantling and changing patriarchal culture is work that men and women must do together.”
― Bell Hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love