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"He was a conqueror, coming to collect, and I was a prize, open flesh waiting to be seized."

That doesn't sound like a conqueror. That sounds like an auditor.

And also, coincidentally enough, the opening to bad porn.

"Hello, ma'am. I see you defaulted on your loan, so I'm here to collect your open flesh and foreclose on your orgasm."

*cue 70s style porn music*

Wait, you made a point earlier of saying how dangerous it was to eat the food of Faerie, but now you're chugging faerie wine?!

That seems incredibly dumb.

You know it's been a long time since you've read a book when the twist takes you by surprise just as much as it did the first time, and you feel like a little old dum-dum lollipop, because fool me once, shame on me; but fool me twice, shame on me again.

P.S. Dum-Dum lollipops are super good.

I forgot what a weird story this is. It reminds me of the paranormal romance stories I read on Quizilla where everyone wanted to boink the heroine because her hootch* had magic powers.

*hootch means lady-bits now
**and yes, magical hootches were totally a thing. I remember one story where the heroine was basically raped because they needed her virginity powers to open a demon portal, or something like that.

LOL! A haunted shoe?!