ŷ������

"I considered criticisms my mom might have of Dave. He was seventeen years older than me, and divorced, but he was also tall and owned a house. I figured the second set of characteristics more than canceled out the first. She’d be impressed, maybe even envious, that I’d persuaded such a fellow to date me."

Here's to you, Linda!

"But my family didn’t need to know the details. I’d never introduced them to a romantic partner, or even mentioned the existence of one, and they must have found this lack unsettling. I could use Dave as proof I’d reached the shore of normal adulthood, exempt from speculation. My mom would go to her grave confident in my ability to survive in the world."

Big mood

"That afternoon, I’d gorged on crash animations until the air of my cube felt charged, hotboxing catastrophe as Anthony had hotboxed Karina’s car with cannabis."

These similes are so out of pocket

'“Did you ask her?�� Anthony said to Karina.

“No,�� Karina said quickly. “Now’s not a good time.��

Their furtive exchange hinted at a scandalous proposal, and I feared they wanted to ask me to join their lovemaking. While I would have been flattered to be viewed as an object of sexual gratification, I’d have to decline, as the prospect held no pleasure for me, only vast potential for discomfort and humiliation.'

'“I like you, Linda. I feel like I can tell you anything, and you won’t judge me.��

I was pleased he found me trustworthy, though in fact I’d been constantly judging him.'

Damn, Linda

"I reasoned the planes wouldn’t mind if I flew with Dave as long as I was only using him for a free ticket. Dave probably wanted to penetrate me again on the plane, given what he’d said about our flight to Houston being a peak erotic experience. That was okay, too. I was willing to compromise most of my ideals in exchange for a flight."

Living out my dreams smh

"I teared up, imagining N92823 lying dormant in a boneyard alongside other condemned planes, white angels arrayed in the desert like the lines of cocaine Dave had done with his friend."

Bruh

'“So what’s Peter’s deal?�� I asked.

Dave made a sound of disgust. “He’s a hipster douchebag. An adjunct English professor, which means he’s broke. He makes his own kimchi and plays drums in a band. You know the type.��'

Damn 💀💀💀

"...I only wanted to marry a pilot to maximize my access to planes before commercial flight became financially prohibitive due to the collapse of fossil capitalism."

Wait... She might have a point here 🤔🤔

"His abdominal muscles were sharply defined, like corn on the cob, which I assumed some women found sexy."

🌽🌽🌽