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Imagine this scenario:

You have in your possession a credit card which you use with discretion.  You've been using it for a long time, and you pay it off responsibly, and you've earned the company's trust.   You use it on trips and at home.

You're a responsible adult.

But some months, you're a little confused.  You go over everything, but you can't be sure....  Is that an extra Starbucks?  No, you had one that day, right?  Yeah, sure, that was probably that day you were really tired and needed a boost.  What about that Amazon purchase, though?  You don't remember buying that much worth of clothes and movies, but maybe you did.  Maybe you're just not paying enough attention.  You should keep receipts better, you realize.  Or maybe call the credit card company.

You give in and call.....

....only to discover you've paid for $1,000 of a stranger's grand life without realizing it.

You die a slow and painful death.*

That's how I feel right now.

Draft 5 is wonderful, and despite my doubts, I'm really enjoying it.  HOWEVER.  I keep thinking I've deleted hundreds, possibly thousands of words......and then I look up, and I'm TWO THOUSAND WORDS over what I started with at the beginning of the draft.

HOW IS THIS HAPPENING???? I FEEL CHEATED!! I could have sworn I deleted at LEAST as many as I added.  It should be a wash, rather than jumping by so many words.  The number was big already - that's the least it could do.

But NO.

I'm doing all the right things to cut this down the best I can, and it's not enough. So basically I'M DOOMED.  AND FURIOUS.

Did I mention I feel cheated?

That is all.

*I certainly hope none of you have ever been in this scenario of dying after credit card fraud.  My thoughts and prayers go out to your families.  And your ghosts.