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乇爻丕卅賱 廿賱賶 賲賷賱賷賳丕
A new translation of Kafka's letters to his Czech translator, Milena Jesenska, includes materials previously unpublished as well as some of her letters and essays
296 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1952
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About the author
Franz Kafka
3,242听books35.6k听followersPrague-born writer Franz Kafka wrote in German, and his stories, such as "
The Metamorphosis
" (1916), and posthumously published novels, including
The Trial
(1925), concern troubled individuals in a nightmarishly impersonal world.
Jewish middle-class family of this major fiction writer of the 20th century spoke German. People consider his unique body of much incomplete writing, mainly published posthumously, among the most influential in European literature.
His stories include "The Metamorphosis" (1912) and " In the Penal Colony " (1914), whereas his posthumous novels include The Trial (1925), The Castle (1926) and Amerika (1927).
Despite first language, Kafka also spoke fluent Czech. Later, Kafka acquired some knowledge of the French language and culture from Flaubert, one of his favorite authors.
Kafka first studied chemistry at the Charles-Ferdinand University of Prague but after two weeks switched to law. This study offered a range of career possibilities, which pleased his father, and required a longer course of study that gave Kafka time to take classes in German studies and art history. At the university, he joined a student club, named Lese- und Redehalle der Deutschen Studenten, which organized literary events, readings, and other activities. In the end of his first year of studies, he met Max Brod, a close friend of his throughout his life, together with the journalist Felix Weltsch, who also studied law. Kafka obtained the degree of doctor of law on 18 June 1906 and performed an obligatory year of unpaid service as law clerk for the civil and criminal courts.
Writing of Kafka attracted little attention before his death. During his lifetime, he published only a few short stories and never finished any of his novels except the very short "The Metamorphosis." Kafka wrote to Max Brod, his friend and literary executor: "Dearest Max, my last request: Everything I leave behind me ... in the way of diaries, manuscripts, letters (my own and others'), sketches, and so on, [is] to be burned unread." Brod told Kafka that he intended not to honor these wishes, but Kafka, so knowing, nevertheless consequently gave these directions specifically to Brod, who, so reasoning, overrode these wishes. Brod in fact oversaw the publication of most of work of Kafka in his possession; these works quickly began to attract attention and high critical regard.
Max Brod encountered significant difficulty in compiling notebooks of Kafka into any chronological order as Kafka started writing in the middle of notebooks, from the last towards the first, et cetera.
Kafka wrote all his published works in German except several letters in Czech to Milena Jesensk谩.
Jewish middle-class family of this major fiction writer of the 20th century spoke German. People consider his unique body of much incomplete writing, mainly published posthumously, among the most influential in European literature.
His stories include "The Metamorphosis" (1912) and " In the Penal Colony " (1914), whereas his posthumous novels include The Trial (1925), The Castle (1926) and Amerika (1927).
Despite first language, Kafka also spoke fluent Czech. Later, Kafka acquired some knowledge of the French language and culture from Flaubert, one of his favorite authors.
Kafka first studied chemistry at the Charles-Ferdinand University of Prague but after two weeks switched to law. This study offered a range of career possibilities, which pleased his father, and required a longer course of study that gave Kafka time to take classes in German studies and art history. At the university, he joined a student club, named Lese- und Redehalle der Deutschen Studenten, which organized literary events, readings, and other activities. In the end of his first year of studies, he met Max Brod, a close friend of his throughout his life, together with the journalist Felix Weltsch, who also studied law. Kafka obtained the degree of doctor of law on 18 June 1906 and performed an obligatory year of unpaid service as law clerk for the civil and criminal courts.
Writing of Kafka attracted little attention before his death. During his lifetime, he published only a few short stories and never finished any of his novels except the very short "The Metamorphosis." Kafka wrote to Max Brod, his friend and literary executor: "Dearest Max, my last request: Everything I leave behind me ... in the way of diaries, manuscripts, letters (my own and others'), sketches, and so on, [is] to be burned unread." Brod told Kafka that he intended not to honor these wishes, but Kafka, so knowing, nevertheless consequently gave these directions specifically to Brod, who, so reasoning, overrode these wishes. Brod in fact oversaw the publication of most of work of Kafka in his possession; these works quickly began to attract attention and high critical regard.
Max Brod encountered significant difficulty in compiling notebooks of Kafka into any chronological order as Kafka started writing in the middle of notebooks, from the last towards the first, et cetera.
Kafka wrote all his published works in German except several letters in Czech to Milena Jesensk谩.
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July 8, 2024
An anthology of longing
(Josef Sudek)
When Milena Jesensk脿 , a Czech journalist and writer asked Franz Kafka for permission to translate his short story The Stoker (later published as the first chapter of Amerika) into Czech, she would not just become 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 first translator, but also the addressee of a flood of enthralling and increasingly passionate letters - 149 letters and postcards, 140 written during 10 months, sometimes several times a day, from March to December 1920, the last ones between 1921 and 1923, a few months before 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 death from TB on 24th June 1924 . 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 letters, entrusted by Milena to Willy Haas, a common acquaintance, subsisted, unlike Milena鈥檚 letters to Kafka, which are presumed lost.
Soon the correspondence alters into an consuming epistolary relationship when it deepens from a sharing of a profound mutual empathy (Her poverty. The unfaithfulness of her husband. Her loneliness. His fear. His illness. His fianc茅e), into a mutual baring of the soul and a long distance intimacy which brings Kafka despair, torment, bliss, sleeplessness as well as uttermost happiness:
'In their entirety as well as in almost every line, your letters are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.'
(Alain Fleischer, Franz II ( Homage to Kafka))
Writing one another several times a day, he most of the time in German, she in Czech, the criss-crossing of letters brought Kafka, exhausted by his illness and insomnia, on the verge of collapse. Torn by the 鈥榗onstant trepidation鈥� brought by her letters, he asked her to stop writing while at the same time begging for her letters:
According to Brod鈥檚 , Kafka held Milena in high esteem as a writer, comparing her psychological meditations and reportages on life in Vienna, books, fashion, meditations to the letters and travelogues of Theodor Fontane; observing the deplorable state of Kafka waiting in the office for a letter of Milena to arrive, terribly exalted, undermining his already weak health, he visits Kafka at the office to help him get through the long hours waiting for another letter or telegram of Milena.
And so we get swept away in a gruelling, paradoxical dance of push--pull relationship dynamics and inertia, a continuous veering between detachment and attachment, a relationship simultaneously intensifying and alienating partly because of the distance. Often packed in one letter, we find tender expressions of the desire to bridge the distance in a scorching longing for closeness (鈥橧 am so happy to breathe again with you so near. It is impossible to understand how my breast could expand and contract enough to breathe this air, it鈥� s impossible to understand how you can be far away. I kept wanting to hear a different sentence than you did, this one 鈥榶ou鈥檙e mine鈥�. And why that one in particular? It doesn鈥檛 even mean love, just nearness and night.鈥�) and distorted evading of the threat of bodily presence by pushing away and disheartening the woman haunting him and depriving him of his sleep: 鈥橧f you become involved with me, you will be throwing yourself into the abyss.鈥�
We see Kafka hiding behind his fear, his illness, his work, his demons in order not to meet Milena, Milena pressing him to meet, until eventually the relationship agrounds in despondency, and they must face there will not be a common future, never.
During the frantic phase of exchanging letters, Kafka and Milena met in person only twice, four days in Vienna in June 1920, and one day in Gm眉nd, on the Austrian-Czech border, in August 1920. As the relationship proved without prospect, Milena not willing to leave her husband to come to live with Kafka in Prague, Kafka broke off the relationship, the letters continuing, less frequent, again more formal in tone, the time following. While Kafka later, on December 2, 1921 will write in his diary 鈥楢lways Milena, or maybe not Milena, but a principle, a light in the darkness鈥�, more darkness and despair creep into the letters:
鈥業 don鈥檛 believe the funny letters anymore. I almost said: I don鈥檛 believe any letters anymore, even the most beautiful ones always contain a worm鈥�. (September 4, 1920)
鈥楴o one sings as purely as those who inhabit the deepest hell 鈥� what we take to be the song of angels is their song鈥�. (August 26, 1920)
鈥業t鈥檚 unfair to laugh at the lead singer in the opera who sings an aria while lying on the stage, mortally wounded. We lie on the ground and sing for years鈥�. (September 1920)
Numerous passages recount on 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 notorious 鈥榝ear鈥�, a fear like a living animal caging Kafka, ranging far beyond the well-known fear of intimacy, commitment and being tied down. A fear that, as well as Milena鈥檚 marriage to Ernst Pollak, will at last come between them:
'Perhaps the logical conclusion is that we鈥檙e both married, you in Vienna, I to my fear in Prague ((July 21, 1920).'
From these letters Kafka emerges not solely as an anxious and restless insomniac man on the edge, but as well as a witty, loving and playful human being bestowing his epistolary companion with endearing tenderness and affection, showing concern about her weal and woe, her health, her friendships, her 鈥� like his 鈥� equally difficult relationship with her father, her work, while at the same time exploring his own murky depths, ensuing in an enigmatic amalgamation of transparency and obfuscation, a blending of self-disclosure of his psyche as well as a delirious evocation of a ghostly inner world of delusions.
While apparently revealing in many respects, the letters mostly left me only more mystified on 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 personality for which the epithet 鈥榗onvoluted鈥� maybe would be an understatement (if a Freudian reading of the Letters to Milena would take your fancy, try by Shadi Neimneh). As I read both The trial and The Castle aeons ago, the connections between these intimate musings and his fictional work - like Felice Bauer is, according to Elias Canetti, central to the plot of The Trial, Milena 鈥� and her husband Ernst Pollak鈥� will appear in The Castle 鈥� remain for me features still to explore, (maybe in a next life).
Reading this was an overwhelming experience. Bemused by their fulgurant intensity, I couldn鈥檛 read this ardent and often painful letters but slowly, in spells, lost in the brilliant beauty of the sentences, their unexpected lyricism and tenderness, the sensuous and horrifying poetry of certain fragments.
鈥楢nd now my best regards after all 鈥� what does it matter if they collapse at your garden gate; perhaps your strength will be all the greater.鈥� On Christmas Day 1923, half a year before his death Kafka ended his correspondence to Milena with these last words. Arrested by the Gestapo for active resistance to Nazi occupation, Milena Jesensk脿 died in Ravensbr眉ck on 17th May 1944, 47 years old.
Because I love you (you see, I do love you, you dimwit, my love engulfs you the way the sea loves a tiny pebble on its bed-and may I be the pebble with you, heaven permitting) I love the whole world and that includes your left shoulder-no, the right one was first and so I'll kiss it whenever I want to (and whenever you're kind enough to pull down your blouse a little) and that also includes your left shoulder and your face above me in the forest and your face below me in the forest and my resting on your almost naked breast. And that's why you're right in saying we were already one and I'm not afraid of this; on the contrary, it is my only happiness and my only pride and I don't at all restrict it to the forest.
(Josef Sudek)When Milena Jesensk脿 , a Czech journalist and writer asked Franz Kafka for permission to translate his short story The Stoker (later published as the first chapter of Amerika) into Czech, she would not just become 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 first translator, but also the addressee of a flood of enthralling and increasingly passionate letters - 149 letters and postcards, 140 written during 10 months, sometimes several times a day, from March to December 1920, the last ones between 1921 and 1923, a few months before 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 death from TB on 24th June 1924 . 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 letters, entrusted by Milena to Willy Haas, a common acquaintance, subsisted, unlike Milena鈥檚 letters to Kafka, which are presumed lost.
Soon the correspondence alters into an consuming epistolary relationship when it deepens from a sharing of a profound mutual empathy (Her poverty. The unfaithfulness of her husband. Her loneliness. His fear. His illness. His fianc茅e), into a mutual baring of the soul and a long distance intimacy which brings Kafka despair, torment, bliss, sleeplessness as well as uttermost happiness:
'In their entirety as well as in almost every line, your letters are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.'
(Alain Fleischer, Franz II ( Homage to Kafka))
Writing one another several times a day, he most of the time in German, she in Czech, the criss-crossing of letters brought Kafka, exhausted by his illness and insomnia, on the verge of collapse. Torn by the 鈥榗onstant trepidation鈥� brought by her letters, he asked her to stop writing while at the same time begging for her letters:
Yesterday I advised you not to write me every day, I still hold the same opinion today and it would be very good for both of us, and so I repeat my advice today even more emphatically- only please, Milena, don't listen to me, and write me every day anyway, it can even be very brief, briefer than today's letters, just 2 lines, just one, just one word, but if I had to go without them I would suffer terribly. (July 20, 1920).Both fascinated by and recoiling from Milena鈥檚 blistering personality and vivacity, Kafka writes to Max Brod his insomnia becoming unbearable because of his correspondence with her 鈥� 鈥榮he is a living fire, of a kind I have never seen before鈥�.
According to Brod鈥檚 , Kafka held Milena in high esteem as a writer, comparing her psychological meditations and reportages on life in Vienna, books, fashion, meditations to the letters and travelogues of Theodor Fontane; observing the deplorable state of Kafka waiting in the office for a letter of Milena to arrive, terribly exalted, undermining his already weak health, he visits Kafka at the office to help him get through the long hours waiting for another letter or telegram of Milena.
鈥楤ut whenever these other letters come, Milena, even if they are basically more auspicious than the first ones (although on account of my weakness it takes me days to penetrate to their happiness)-these letters which begin with exclamations (and after all, I am so far away), and which end with I don't know what terrible things, then, Milena, I literally start to shake as if under an alarm bell; I am unable to read them and naturally I read them anyway, the way an animal dying of thirst drinks, and with that comes fear and more fear; I look for a piece of furniture to crawl under; trembling, totally unaware of the world, I pray you might fly back out of the window the way you came storming in inside your letter. After all, I can't keep a storm in my room..
And so we get swept away in a gruelling, paradoxical dance of push--pull relationship dynamics and inertia, a continuous veering between detachment and attachment, a relationship simultaneously intensifying and alienating partly because of the distance. Often packed in one letter, we find tender expressions of the desire to bridge the distance in a scorching longing for closeness (鈥橧 am so happy to breathe again with you so near. It is impossible to understand how my breast could expand and contract enough to breathe this air, it鈥� s impossible to understand how you can be far away. I kept wanting to hear a different sentence than you did, this one 鈥榶ou鈥檙e mine鈥�. And why that one in particular? It doesn鈥檛 even mean love, just nearness and night.鈥�) and distorted evading of the threat of bodily presence by pushing away and disheartening the woman haunting him and depriving him of his sleep: 鈥橧f you become involved with me, you will be throwing yourself into the abyss.鈥�
We see Kafka hiding behind his fear, his illness, his work, his demons in order not to meet Milena, Milena pressing him to meet, until eventually the relationship agrounds in despondency, and they must face there will not be a common future, never.
During the frantic phase of exchanging letters, Kafka and Milena met in person only twice, four days in Vienna in June 1920, and one day in Gm眉nd, on the Austrian-Czech border, in August 1920. As the relationship proved without prospect, Milena not willing to leave her husband to come to live with Kafka in Prague, Kafka broke off the relationship, the letters continuing, less frequent, again more formal in tone, the time following. While Kafka later, on December 2, 1921 will write in his diary 鈥楢lways Milena, or maybe not Milena, but a principle, a light in the darkness鈥�, more darkness and despair creep into the letters:
鈥業 don鈥檛 believe the funny letters anymore. I almost said: I don鈥檛 believe any letters anymore, even the most beautiful ones always contain a worm鈥�. (September 4, 1920)
鈥楴o one sings as purely as those who inhabit the deepest hell 鈥� what we take to be the song of angels is their song鈥�. (August 26, 1920)
鈥業t鈥檚 unfair to laugh at the lead singer in the opera who sings an aria while lying on the stage, mortally wounded. We lie on the ground and sing for years鈥�. (September 1920)
Numerous passages recount on 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 notorious 鈥榝ear鈥�, a fear like a living animal caging Kafka, ranging far beyond the well-known fear of intimacy, commitment and being tied down. A fear that, as well as Milena鈥檚 marriage to Ernst Pollak, will at last come between them:
'Perhaps the logical conclusion is that we鈥檙e both married, you in Vienna, I to my fear in Prague ((July 21, 1920).'
From these letters Kafka emerges not solely as an anxious and restless insomniac man on the edge, but as well as a witty, loving and playful human being bestowing his epistolary companion with endearing tenderness and affection, showing concern about her weal and woe, her health, her friendships, her 鈥� like his 鈥� equally difficult relationship with her father, her work, while at the same time exploring his own murky depths, ensuing in an enigmatic amalgamation of transparency and obfuscation, a blending of self-disclosure of his psyche as well as a delirious evocation of a ghostly inner world of delusions.
'Moreover, perhaps it isn鈥檛 love when I say you are what I love the most 鈥� you are the knife I turn inside myself, this is love.'
'The easy possibility of writing letters-from a purely theoretical point of view-must have brought wrack and ruin to the souls of the world. Writing letters is actually an intercourse with ghosts and by no means just with the ghost of the addressee but also with one's own ghost, which secretly evolves inside the letter one is writing or even in a whole series of letters, where one letter corroborates another and can refer to it as witness. How did people ever get the idea they could communicate with one another by letter! One can think about someone far away and one can hold on to someone nearby; everything else is beyond human power. Writing letters, on the other hand, means exposing oneself to the ghosts, who are greedily waiting precisely for that. Written kisses never arrive at their destination; the ghosts drink them up along the way. It is this ample nourishment which enables them to multiply so enormously. People sense this and struggle against it; in order to eliminate as much of the ghosts' power as possible and to attain a natural intercourse, a tranquility of soul, they have invented trains, cars, aeroplanes-but nothing helps anymore: These are evidently inventions devised at the moment of crashing. The opposing side is so much calmer and stronger; after the postal system, the ghosts invented the telegraph, the telephone, the wireless. They will not starve, but we will perish.'
While apparently revealing in many respects, the letters mostly left me only more mystified on 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 personality for which the epithet 鈥榗onvoluted鈥� maybe would be an understatement (if a Freudian reading of the Letters to Milena would take your fancy, try by Shadi Neimneh). As I read both The trial and The Castle aeons ago, the connections between these intimate musings and his fictional work - like Felice Bauer is, according to Elias Canetti, central to the plot of The Trial, Milena 鈥� and her husband Ernst Pollak鈥� will appear in The Castle 鈥� remain for me features still to explore, (maybe in a next life).
Reading this was an overwhelming experience. Bemused by their fulgurant intensity, I couldn鈥檛 read this ardent and often painful letters but slowly, in spells, lost in the brilliant beauty of the sentences, their unexpected lyricism and tenderness, the sensuous and horrifying poetry of certain fragments.
鈥楢nd now my best regards after all 鈥� what does it matter if they collapse at your garden gate; perhaps your strength will be all the greater.鈥� On Christmas Day 1923, half a year before his death Kafka ended his correspondence to Milena with these last words. Arrested by the Gestapo for active resistance to Nazi occupation, Milena Jesensk脿 died in Ravensbr眉ck on 17th May 1944, 47 years old.
July 16, 2023
These Letters to Milena date from 1920 to 1922; while their correspondence is very rich, we only have letters from the writer, which show the intensity of his short passion. With great ease of writing, Kafka evokes his troubles, even his disturbances in the face of the absence and lack of this young married woman with whom he is madly in love.
In Vienna, Milena Jesensk谩 translated Kafka's first short stories into Czech in 1920. They met on this occasion in Merano and cured the writer. She is 24; he is 38. Nevertheless, Kafka is ill, and this will often take over. He talks about his fears; his letters can be fiery or cynical. Milena and Franz will see each other little but be very close, and their passion will occupy all the space. Yet the letters of an impossible love that is too difficult to bear will become less frequent and eventually cease.
Thanks to the power of Kafka's expressions, I thought talking about love was easy, but his complicated relationship with Milena doesn't always make him comfortable. However, I find that a man who reveals himself is very moving.
In Vienna, Milena Jesensk谩 translated Kafka's first short stories into Czech in 1920. They met on this occasion in Merano and cured the writer. She is 24; he is 38. Nevertheless, Kafka is ill, and this will often take over. He talks about his fears; his letters can be fiery or cynical. Milena and Franz will see each other little but be very close, and their passion will occupy all the space. Yet the letters of an impossible love that is too difficult to bear will become less frequent and eventually cease.
Thanks to the power of Kafka's expressions, I thought talking about love was easy, but his complicated relationship with Milena doesn't always make him comfortable. However, I find that a man who reveals himself is very moving.
July 20, 2020
"No puedo hacerte comprender, no puedo hacer comprender a nadie lo que ocurre dentro de m铆. 驴C贸mo podr铆a explicar por qu茅 ocurre lo que est谩 ocurriendo? Ni siquiera puedo explic谩rmelo a m铆 mismo. Pero tampoco es esa la raz贸n principal. La raz贸n principal es evidente: es imposible llevar una vida humana cerca de m铆. Lo est谩s viendo y, sin embargo, no quieres creerlo."
Esta frase, tan propia de de Kafka como as铆 tambi茅n de esa especie de alter ego suyo que es Gregor Samsa en 鈥淟a Metamorfosis鈥� y forma parte de una de las tantas cartas que Kafka le escribe a M铆lena Jesensk谩 entre principios de 1920 y finales de 1923. Ese per铆odo abarca una relaci贸n casi completamente epistolar, puesto que s贸lo se vieron cuatro d铆as en Viena y parte de un d铆a en Gm眉nd, Austria. Ella, casada e infeliz. El, s贸lo y enfermo. El ten铆a 38 a帽os y ella 24.
Un a帽o m谩s tarde, en 1924 Franz Kafka perd铆a su batalla contra la tuberculosis y 20 a帽os despu茅s se apagaba la vida de M铆lena en un campo de concentraci贸n de Ravensbr眉ck bajo el espanto del Holocausto nazi.
(Kafka es premonitorio cuando le escribe: "Algo m谩s, sin embargo: 驴cuando hablas del futuro no olvidas a veces que soy jud铆o? El ser jud铆o sigue siendo peligroso, aun a tus pies.").
Esta relaci贸n, digamos, 鈥渁morosa鈥� era improbable, ef铆mera y perecedera puesto que es el mismo Kafka el que establece la realidad a la que est谩n sometidos. Kafka, abrumado de vivir al igual que sus personajes con lo inabordable es consciente de que M铆lena es su b谩lsamo, su tabla de salvaci贸n, pero esa tabla no se sostendr谩 mucho a flote.
脡l se siente agobiado por la burocracia de su trabajo, acuciado por una enfermedad cruel y opresiva, perseguido por un constante insomnio y a adem谩s de todo esto, anhelando acortar una distancia imposible entre Praga y Viena y que funciona como clara regla de juego en este intercambio de sentimientos escritos. Al leer estas cartas iba consolid谩ndose en m铆 este idea formada que tengo de que para muchos escritores es dif铆cil, realmente dif铆cil, separar lo emp铆rico de lo ficcional, puesto que de otra manera no existir铆an tantos libros, tantas historias y tantos personajes, porque seamos sinceros: 驴no nos da la sensaci贸n que algunos personajes parecieran ser ese mismo autor aunque 茅l lo niegue?
Kafka tiene momentos en que hace girar todo su mundo alrededor de estas cartas, de esperar cotidianamente que el correo las traiga para aportar aire fresco a su compleja existencia. De hecho afirma que tiene que ir a trabajar, pero no logra concentrarse porque quiere leer las cartas que le env铆a M铆lena, pero no las puede leer porque tiene una necesidad imperiosa por escribir m谩s cartas. Este es el c铆rculo vicioso en el que ha ca铆do ("Es como si uno se esforzara por destruir un solo caldero del infierno: en primer lugar, no lo lograr铆a, y si lo lograra, se quemar铆a en la masa ardiente que brota del caldero roto. Mientras tanto, el infierno subsistir铆a en toda su gloria. Es necesario comenzar de otra manera").
Doy otro ejemplo que va de lo emp铆rico a lo ficcional. En un momento a Kafka le sucede lo siguiente: 鈥滿ientras estaba tendido all铆, a un paso de m铆 yac铆a un escarabajo, patas arriba, desesperado. No pod铆a enderezarse, me habr铆a gustado ayudarlo, era tan f谩cil hacerlo, bastaba un paso y un empujoncito para brindarle una ayuda efectiva. Pero lo olvid茅 a causa de la carta. Adem谩s no pod铆a ponerme de pie. Por fin, una lagartija logr贸 que volviera a tomar conciencia de la vida que me rodeaba. Su camino la llev贸 hasta el escarabajo, que ya estaba totalmente inm贸vil. De modo que no fue un accidente, me dije, sino una lucha mortal, el raro espect谩culo de la muerte natural de un animal. Pero la lagartija al deslizarse por encima del escarabajo, lo enderez贸. Por unos instantes continu贸 inm贸vil, como muerto, pero luego trep贸 la pared como la cosa m谩s natural. Es probable que eso me haya brindado, de alguna manera, un poco de coraje. Lo cierto es que me puse de pie, beb铆 leche y le escrib铆 a usted.鈥� De alg煤n modo, este hecho vuelve a su existencia real, lo leemos en las desdichas que le atribuy贸 a su atormentado Gregor Samsa en la metamorfosis.
Uno de los puntos m谩s interesantes que reviste la vida de Kafka y (sus personajes) es la inaccesibilidad, caracter铆stica tan propia del agrimensor K. en su libro 鈥淓l Castillo鈥�. Todo lo que la vida le ofrece tiene en cierto punto algo inalcanzable. Es tangible, pero est谩 lejos, aunque est茅 a punto de tocarlo: 鈥滱 veces tengo la impresi贸n de que tenemos una habitaci贸n con dos puertas enfrentadas y cada uno de nosotros empu帽a el picaporte de una de ellas. Basta un pesta帽eo de uno, para que el otro desaparezca detr谩s de su puerta. Y el primero apenas si alcanza a pronunciar una palabra, cuando el segundo ya ha echado cerrojo y se pierde de vista. Volver谩 a abrir su puerta, porque se trata de una habitaci贸n que quiz谩 no pueda abandonarse. Si el primero no fuera exactamente igual al segundo, si fuera sereno, preferir铆a no mirar en direcci贸n al otro, ordenar铆a la habitaci贸n sin prisa, como si fuera una habitaci贸n cualquiera. Pero en lugar de eso, hace lo mismo con su puerta, a veces ambos cierran las puertas a la vez y la hermosa habitaci贸n queda desierta鈥�.
Es incre铆ble que haya tanta coincidencia, puesto que lo inaccesible que la vida le da se lo ofrece en todos los aspectos y como no pod铆a ser de otra manera, le pasa tambi茅n en el amor.
La sumisi贸n de Kafka es total hacia M铆lena ("ahora he perdido hasta el nombre; se fue abreviando cada vez m谩s y ahora s贸lo es: Tuyo.") y lo maravilloso de este estado de 谩nimo es que siente a M铆lena a su lado y con eso se contenta y sonr铆e. Por eso lucha, se impone y defiende ese amor tan liviano, tan et茅reo: "Adem谩s, quiz谩 no se trate realmente de amor cuando digo que t煤 eres lo que m谩s amo; amor es que t煤 seas el pu帽al con el cual revuelvo dentro de m铆. Por otra parte, t煤 misma lo dices: "no tienes la fuerza necesaria para amar". 驴No basta eso para distinguir al hombre de la bestia鈥�?
M铆lena Jesensk谩 dijo alguna vez que "Franz era t铆mido, retra铆do, suave y amable, visionario, demasiado sabio para vivir, demasiado d茅bil para luchar, de los que se someten al vencedor y acaban por avergonzarlo."
Escribo esta rese帽a con m谩s frases y fragmentos que palabras propias porque siento que el hecho de leer un libro basado en lo epistolar clarifica la naturaleza de la relaci贸n que Franz Kafka tuvo no s贸lo con M铆lena Jesensk谩, sino tambi茅n con Felice Bauer, con quien tuvo otro frondoso intercambio de cartas tambi茅n, adem谩s de estar dos veces comprometido para casarse con ella. Tuvo una tercera compa帽era, la del final de sus d铆as que se llam贸 Dora Dymant, pero estas dos mujeres forman parte de otras historias, cartas y amores.
Cierro la rese帽a luego de leer cartas tan 铆ntimas, confesionales y apasionadas con esa frase del propio Kafka que dice que "La literatura es siempre una expedici贸n a la verdad."
Para m铆, este libro es una expedici贸n a su atormentado coraz贸n.
Esta frase, tan propia de de Kafka como as铆 tambi茅n de esa especie de alter ego suyo que es Gregor Samsa en 鈥淟a Metamorfosis鈥� y forma parte de una de las tantas cartas que Kafka le escribe a M铆lena Jesensk谩 entre principios de 1920 y finales de 1923. Ese per铆odo abarca una relaci贸n casi completamente epistolar, puesto que s贸lo se vieron cuatro d铆as en Viena y parte de un d铆a en Gm眉nd, Austria. Ella, casada e infeliz. El, s贸lo y enfermo. El ten铆a 38 a帽os y ella 24.
Un a帽o m谩s tarde, en 1924 Franz Kafka perd铆a su batalla contra la tuberculosis y 20 a帽os despu茅s se apagaba la vida de M铆lena en un campo de concentraci贸n de Ravensbr眉ck bajo el espanto del Holocausto nazi.
(Kafka es premonitorio cuando le escribe: "Algo m谩s, sin embargo: 驴cuando hablas del futuro no olvidas a veces que soy jud铆o? El ser jud铆o sigue siendo peligroso, aun a tus pies.").
Esta relaci贸n, digamos, 鈥渁morosa鈥� era improbable, ef铆mera y perecedera puesto que es el mismo Kafka el que establece la realidad a la que est谩n sometidos. Kafka, abrumado de vivir al igual que sus personajes con lo inabordable es consciente de que M铆lena es su b谩lsamo, su tabla de salvaci贸n, pero esa tabla no se sostendr谩 mucho a flote.
脡l se siente agobiado por la burocracia de su trabajo, acuciado por una enfermedad cruel y opresiva, perseguido por un constante insomnio y a adem谩s de todo esto, anhelando acortar una distancia imposible entre Praga y Viena y que funciona como clara regla de juego en este intercambio de sentimientos escritos. Al leer estas cartas iba consolid谩ndose en m铆 este idea formada que tengo de que para muchos escritores es dif铆cil, realmente dif铆cil, separar lo emp铆rico de lo ficcional, puesto que de otra manera no existir铆an tantos libros, tantas historias y tantos personajes, porque seamos sinceros: 驴no nos da la sensaci贸n que algunos personajes parecieran ser ese mismo autor aunque 茅l lo niegue?
Kafka tiene momentos en que hace girar todo su mundo alrededor de estas cartas, de esperar cotidianamente que el correo las traiga para aportar aire fresco a su compleja existencia. De hecho afirma que tiene que ir a trabajar, pero no logra concentrarse porque quiere leer las cartas que le env铆a M铆lena, pero no las puede leer porque tiene una necesidad imperiosa por escribir m谩s cartas. Este es el c铆rculo vicioso en el que ha ca铆do ("Es como si uno se esforzara por destruir un solo caldero del infierno: en primer lugar, no lo lograr铆a, y si lo lograra, se quemar铆a en la masa ardiente que brota del caldero roto. Mientras tanto, el infierno subsistir铆a en toda su gloria. Es necesario comenzar de otra manera").
Doy otro ejemplo que va de lo emp铆rico a lo ficcional. En un momento a Kafka le sucede lo siguiente: 鈥滿ientras estaba tendido all铆, a un paso de m铆 yac铆a un escarabajo, patas arriba, desesperado. No pod铆a enderezarse, me habr铆a gustado ayudarlo, era tan f谩cil hacerlo, bastaba un paso y un empujoncito para brindarle una ayuda efectiva. Pero lo olvid茅 a causa de la carta. Adem谩s no pod铆a ponerme de pie. Por fin, una lagartija logr贸 que volviera a tomar conciencia de la vida que me rodeaba. Su camino la llev贸 hasta el escarabajo, que ya estaba totalmente inm贸vil. De modo que no fue un accidente, me dije, sino una lucha mortal, el raro espect谩culo de la muerte natural de un animal. Pero la lagartija al deslizarse por encima del escarabajo, lo enderez贸. Por unos instantes continu贸 inm贸vil, como muerto, pero luego trep贸 la pared como la cosa m谩s natural. Es probable que eso me haya brindado, de alguna manera, un poco de coraje. Lo cierto es que me puse de pie, beb铆 leche y le escrib铆 a usted.鈥� De alg煤n modo, este hecho vuelve a su existencia real, lo leemos en las desdichas que le atribuy贸 a su atormentado Gregor Samsa en la metamorfosis.
Uno de los puntos m谩s interesantes que reviste la vida de Kafka y (sus personajes) es la inaccesibilidad, caracter铆stica tan propia del agrimensor K. en su libro 鈥淓l Castillo鈥�. Todo lo que la vida le ofrece tiene en cierto punto algo inalcanzable. Es tangible, pero est谩 lejos, aunque est茅 a punto de tocarlo: 鈥滱 veces tengo la impresi贸n de que tenemos una habitaci贸n con dos puertas enfrentadas y cada uno de nosotros empu帽a el picaporte de una de ellas. Basta un pesta帽eo de uno, para que el otro desaparezca detr谩s de su puerta. Y el primero apenas si alcanza a pronunciar una palabra, cuando el segundo ya ha echado cerrojo y se pierde de vista. Volver谩 a abrir su puerta, porque se trata de una habitaci贸n que quiz谩 no pueda abandonarse. Si el primero no fuera exactamente igual al segundo, si fuera sereno, preferir铆a no mirar en direcci贸n al otro, ordenar铆a la habitaci贸n sin prisa, como si fuera una habitaci贸n cualquiera. Pero en lugar de eso, hace lo mismo con su puerta, a veces ambos cierran las puertas a la vez y la hermosa habitaci贸n queda desierta鈥�.
Es incre铆ble que haya tanta coincidencia, puesto que lo inaccesible que la vida le da se lo ofrece en todos los aspectos y como no pod铆a ser de otra manera, le pasa tambi茅n en el amor.
La sumisi贸n de Kafka es total hacia M铆lena ("ahora he perdido hasta el nombre; se fue abreviando cada vez m谩s y ahora s贸lo es: Tuyo.") y lo maravilloso de este estado de 谩nimo es que siente a M铆lena a su lado y con eso se contenta y sonr铆e. Por eso lucha, se impone y defiende ese amor tan liviano, tan et茅reo: "Adem谩s, quiz谩 no se trate realmente de amor cuando digo que t煤 eres lo que m谩s amo; amor es que t煤 seas el pu帽al con el cual revuelvo dentro de m铆. Por otra parte, t煤 misma lo dices: "no tienes la fuerza necesaria para amar". 驴No basta eso para distinguir al hombre de la bestia鈥�?
M铆lena Jesensk谩 dijo alguna vez que "Franz era t铆mido, retra铆do, suave y amable, visionario, demasiado sabio para vivir, demasiado d茅bil para luchar, de los que se someten al vencedor y acaban por avergonzarlo."
Escribo esta rese帽a con m谩s frases y fragmentos que palabras propias porque siento que el hecho de leer un libro basado en lo epistolar clarifica la naturaleza de la relaci贸n que Franz Kafka tuvo no s贸lo con M铆lena Jesensk谩, sino tambi茅n con Felice Bauer, con quien tuvo otro frondoso intercambio de cartas tambi茅n, adem谩s de estar dos veces comprometido para casarse con ella. Tuvo una tercera compa帽era, la del final de sus d铆as que se llam贸 Dora Dymant, pero estas dos mujeres forman parte de otras historias, cartas y amores.
Cierro la rese帽a luego de leer cartas tan 铆ntimas, confesionales y apasionadas con esa frase del propio Kafka que dice que "La literatura es siempre una expedici贸n a la verdad."
Para m铆, este libro es una expedici贸n a su atormentado coraz贸n.
April 18, 2025
pre-review
AAAAAAAAA fat rtc omg (later today!!) 4.5/5 stars? not sure yet
-
pre-read
you guys have no idea how excited i am to start this!!!!
AAAAAAAAA fat rtc omg (later today!!) 4.5/5 stars? not sure yet
-
pre-read
you guys have no idea how excited i am to start this!!!!
November 3, 2020
賱丕 賷賲賰賳賳賷 亘氐賵乇丞 賲丕 兀賳 兀賰鬲亘 丕賱賲夭賷丿 毓賳 兀賷 卮賷亍 丌禺乇 爻賵賶 賲丕 賷鬲毓賱賯 亘賳丕貙 賲丕 賷鬲毓賱賯 亘賳丕 賵爻胤 丕囟胤乇丕亘 丕賱毓丕賱賲貙 賳丨賳 賮丨爻亘
賰賱 卮賷亍 丌禺乇貙 賴賵 卮賷亍 亘毓賷丿
禺胤兀! 禺胤兀!
睾賷乇 兀賳 丕賱卮賮丕賴 鬲睾賲睾賲貙 賵賵噩賴賷 賷爻鬲賱賯賷 賮賷 兀丨囟丕賳賰
賱賵 兀賳 卮禺氐賸丕 兀賳賯匕 賲賳 丕賱睾乇賯 卮禺氐賸丕 丌禺乇 賮廿賳賴 爻賷賰賵賳 毓賲賱丕 毓馗賷賲賸丕 亘賱丕 卮賰
賱賰賳 賱賵 兀賳賴 亘毓丿 匕賱賰 兀毓胤賶 賱匕賱賰 丕賱卮禺氐 丕賱匕賷 鬲賲 廿賳賯丕匕賴 毓賱賷 賷丿賷賴 丕卮鬲乇丕賰賸丕 賮賷 丿乇賵爻 賱賱爻亘丕丨丞貙 賮賲丕 賴賵 丕賱禺賷乇 丕賱匕賷 爻賷鬲賲禺囟 毓賳賴 匕賱賰責
賱賲丕匕丕 賷丨丕賵賱 丕賱賲賳賯匕 賱賱丌禺乇賷賳 兀賳 賷噩毓賱 丕賱兀賲乇 亘賴匕賴 丕賱亘爻丕胤丞 亘丕賱賳爻亘丞 賱賳賮爻賴責
賱賲丕匕丕 賱丕 賷乇睾亘 賮賷 兀賳 賷賵丕氐賱 廿賱賶 丕賱兀亘丿 廿賳賯丕匕 丕賱丌禺乇 亘賵噩賵丿賴責
亘賵噩賵丿賴 丕賱賲爻鬲毓丿 兀亘丿賸丕責
賱賲丕匕丕 賷丨丕賵賱 兀賳 賷丨賵賱 丕賱毓亘亍 廿賱賶 賲丿乇亘 丕賱爻亘丕丨丞責
賲丕 兀禺丕賮賴 賵毓賷賳丕賷 賲賮鬲賵丨鬲丕賳 毓賱賶 丕鬲爻丕毓賴賲丕貙 亘毓丿 兀賳 睾乇賯鬲 賮賷 兀毓賲丕賯 禺賵賮賷貙 毓丕噩夭賸丕 丨鬲賶 毓賳 賲丨丕賵賱丞 丕賱賳噩丕丞
賴賵 鬲賱賰 丕賱賲丐丕賲乇丞 丕賱鬲賷 鬲賯賵賲 賮賷 丿丕禺賱賷 囟丿 匕丕鬲賷貙 鬲賱賰 丕賱賲丐丕賲乇丞 賵丨丿賴丕 賴賷 賲丕 兀禺卮丕賴貙
June 20, 2020
鈥淲hen one is alone, imperfection must be endured every minute of the day; a couple, however, does not have to put up with it. Aren鈥檛 our eyes made to be torn out, and our hearts for the same purpose? At the same time it鈥檚 really not that bad; that鈥檚 an exaggeration and a lie, everything is exaggeration, the only truth is longing. But even the truth of longing is not so much its own truth; it鈥檚 really an expression for everything else, which is a lie. This sounds crazy and distorted, but it鈥檚 true. Moreover, perhaps it isn鈥檛 love when I say you are what I love the most - you are the knife I turn inside myself, this is love. This, my dear, is love.鈥�
Milena Jesensk谩 was born in Prague, Austria-Hungary. In 1918 she married Ernst Pollak, a Jewish intellectual and literary critic whom she met in Prague's literary circles, and moved with him to Vienna. The marriage, which allegedly caused her to break off relations with her father for several years, was an unhappy one.
In 1919 she discovered a short story (The Stoker) by Prague writer Franz Kafka, and wrote him to ask for permission to translate it from German to Czech. The letter launched an intense and increasingly passionate correspondence. Jesensk谩 and Kafka met twice: they spent four days in Vienna together and later a day in Gm眉nd. Eventually Kafka broke off the relationship, partly because Jesensk谩 was unable to leave her husband, and their almost daily communication ceased abruptly in November 1920. They meant so much to each other, however, that they did exchange a few more letters in 1922 and 1923 (and Kafka turned over to Jesensk谩 his diaries at the end of his life). Jesensk谩's translation of The Stoker was a first translation of Kafka's writings into Czech (and as a matter of fact, into any foreign language); later she translated two other short stories by Kafka and also texts by Hermann Broch, Franz Werfel, Upton Sinclair, and many others. Jaroslav Dohal, the name given for the translator of the Czech edition of Kafka's short-story "Reflections for Gentlemen-Jockeys", is most likely a pseudonym for Jesensk谩.
"The easy possibility of writing letters must have brought wrack and ruin to the souls of the world. Writing letters is actually an intercourse with ghosts, and by no means just the ghost of the addressee but also with one's own ghost, which secretly evolves inside the letter one is writing."
The words in these letters are a haunting testament of longing and agony. The intense emotions that produced the ghostly poetry of Kafka's words are well documented here. This particular edition of Letters to Milena contains material previously omitted because of its extreme sensitivity. Also among the extended contents are:
- Milena Jesensk谩's Letters to Max Brod
- Four Essays by Milena Jesensk谩: 'Vienna', 'Letters of Notable People', 'A Dream', and 'The Devil at the Hearth'
- Milena Jesensk谩's Obituary for Franz Kafka
Kafka died of laryngeal tuberculosis on 3 June 1924, aged 40, in a sanatorium in Kierling just outside Vienna.
Arrested by the Gestapo for active resistance to Nazi occupation, Milena Jesensk脿 died in Ravensbr眉ck on 17th May 1944, 47 years old.
August 5, 2024
"
Getting to know someone is inconceivably difficult
."
Franz Kafka wrote a series of letters to Milena Jesensk谩, a young woman who translated some of his stories into Czech.
They met only two or three times, but as the letters that have reached us reveal, the connection between the two was strong. Milena鈥檚 answers are mostly lost, but we may sense some of them from 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 letters. They offer a valuable insight into the inner world of the writer.
From these letters, he emerges as someone tormented by insomnia, severe bouts of coughing, fears of himself, of people and of life. Kafka shares his almost despairing hopes and shattered expectations with Milena.
The writer predicts that their relationship will be coming to an end soon. Too many things divide them. Milena is married and lives in Vienna. Kafka lives in Prague, and he is not free too. Anxiety and fears are his constant companions.
If one decided to count the frequency of the words that these letters contain, "fear" would probably be the most frequent one.
"...the only certainty is that I cannot live apart from you without completely submitting to fear, giving it even more than it demands, and I do this voluntarily, with delight, I pour myself into it."
Kafka even proposes a definition of "fear".
Franz longs for her attention, begs Milena to answer his letters, and occasionally tries to give her some advice regarding her health. In some letters, he attempts to bring her to accept financial help.
碍补蹿办补鈥檚 letters combine the feeling of loneliness, which seems to ooze from his words, with a certain sense of self-sufficiency, albeit peculiar or Kafkaesque, if you will.
On occasion, Kafka dares not open her letters. He may leave them lying on the table unopened and wait a couple of days before approaching them.
Perhaps, the writer did not feel ready for such intense feelings hidden in these letters.
Too much happiness, as well as too much sadness, could be devastating.
According to Franz, exchanging letters touches on the intersection of the ordinary with the mystical and transcendental. Kafka highlights the point in an impressive manner:
My personal experience with reading private letters never intended for the public is somewhat ambivalent.
Through letters we get the vicarious experience of a distant time and place. I appreciate their quality of spontaneity, a degree of sincerity that is often present, and the opportunity to learn firsthand about the past.
At the same time, reading letters sometimes evokes in me a strange feeling, as if I were inadvertently spying on their authors who are long gone or, to put it less bluntly, as if I were entering uncharted territory without being invited.
Such was the case with 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 letters to Milena.
However, the one thing that I find more challenging than reading such personal texts is reviewing them. Therefore, I had better stop rambling and give the floor to Kafka.
Here are a few excerpts from the collection of letters.
Recommended to those who love the novels of Kafka and are interested in his personality.
Franz Kafka wrote a series of letters to Milena Jesensk谩, a young woman who translated some of his stories into Czech.
They met only two or three times, but as the letters that have reached us reveal, the connection between the two was strong. Milena鈥檚 answers are mostly lost, but we may sense some of them from 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 letters. They offer a valuable insight into the inner world of the writer.
From these letters, he emerges as someone tormented by insomnia, severe bouts of coughing, fears of himself, of people and of life. Kafka shares his almost despairing hopes and shattered expectations with Milena.
The writer predicts that their relationship will be coming to an end soon. Too many things divide them. Milena is married and lives in Vienna. Kafka lives in Prague, and he is not free too. Anxiety and fears are his constant companions.
If one decided to count the frequency of the words that these letters contain, "fear" would probably be the most frequent one.
"...the only certainty is that I cannot live apart from you without completely submitting to fear, giving it even more than it demands, and I do this voluntarily, with delight, I pour myself into it."
Kafka even proposes a definition of "fear".
Of course one cannot even figure out one鈥檚 own riddles; this is precisely the meaning of 鈥渇ear.鈥�
Franz longs for her attention, begs Milena to answer his letters, and occasionally tries to give her some advice regarding her health. In some letters, he attempts to bring her to accept financial help.
碍补蹿办补鈥檚 letters combine the feeling of loneliness, which seems to ooze from his words, with a certain sense of self-sufficiency, albeit peculiar or Kafkaesque, if you will.
On occasion, Kafka dares not open her letters. He may leave them lying on the table unopened and wait a couple of days before approaching them.
Perhaps, the writer did not feel ready for such intense feelings hidden in these letters.
Too much happiness, as well as too much sadness, could be devastating.
According to Franz, exchanging letters touches on the intersection of the ordinary with the mystical and transcendental. Kafka highlights the point in an impressive manner:
Writing letters is actually an intercourse with ghosts and by no means just with the ghost of the addressee but also with one鈥檚 own ghost, which secretly evolves inside the letter one is writing or even in a whole series of letters, where one letter corroborates another and can refer to it as witness.
My personal experience with reading private letters never intended for the public is somewhat ambivalent.
Through letters we get the vicarious experience of a distant time and place. I appreciate their quality of spontaneity, a degree of sincerity that is often present, and the opportunity to learn firsthand about the past.
At the same time, reading letters sometimes evokes in me a strange feeling, as if I were inadvertently spying on their authors who are long gone or, to put it less bluntly, as if I were entering uncharted territory without being invited.
Such was the case with 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 letters to Milena.
However, the one thing that I find more challenging than reading such personal texts is reviewing them. Therefore, I had better stop rambling and give the floor to Kafka.
Here are a few excerpts from the collection of letters.
Written kisses never arrive at their destination; the ghosts drink them up along the way.
Recommended to those who love the novels of Kafka and are interested in his personality.
Want to Read
January 2, 2023a real one wouldn't ask for my snap, they'd say "you are the knife i turn inside myself; that is love. that, my dear, is love." :)
February 23, 2024
Dear Kafka, we cannot get along, you and I. It really saddens me to say this. You are a true genius. There is no denying it. I know in my heart that I appreciate your ability, your talent, so this shying away from your works may be an outcome of awe or fear, I don't know which. It was just like two years ago, in Prague, I was outside your museum contemplating whether to visit you or not. I was undecided and you didn't help me. You didn't call me in, so I sipped my coffee sitting in the courtyard and went away, a decision I regret up to date. But what could I have done, Kafka? Every time I come near you, I either run away or you drive me away. And isn't it really the story between you and Milena? Forgive me if I misunderstand you, for you are not easy to understand.
Why I wanted to read your letters to Milena is the thought that I would understand you a little better since I miserably failed to do so with your creative art. But now, I'm not so sure. I still feel lost. This doesn't mean I'm totally ignorant of yourself, Kafka. I do comprehend you, but not as much as I should. You are a tormented genius, and you torment others with your genius, complex being. You surely did torment Milena. Yes, you loved her. "I love you (you see I love you, you dimwit, my love engulfs you the way the sea loves a tiny pebble on its bed - and may I be the pebble with you, heaven permitting)...". You knew she belonged to you. "I know my relationship to you (you belong to me, even if I should never see you again)". Yet, you drove her away because you were "in agony, in love, in worry, and in an entirely indefinite fear of the indefinite, which is indefinitely mainly because it is infinitely beyond my strength.". And I can relate to you somewhat differently on that. It is infinitely beyond my strength to form a literary relationship with you. I did sympathize with you, but I couldn't empathize. It was simply impossible, for you didn't allow me to become intimate with you. You kept your distance, and I, either from awe or fear, didn't fight to close it. But with all this, I still can't say goodbye to you. I don't know why, but it is so. Perhaps, I'm drawn to you by some invisible thread, like one tortured soul is drawn to another. And one day, I may have enough strength to confront you, and breakthrough your thick walls that I cannot penetrate now. So dear Kafka, until such time, auf wiedersehen!
Why I wanted to read your letters to Milena is the thought that I would understand you a little better since I miserably failed to do so with your creative art. But now, I'm not so sure. I still feel lost. This doesn't mean I'm totally ignorant of yourself, Kafka. I do comprehend you, but not as much as I should. You are a tormented genius, and you torment others with your genius, complex being. You surely did torment Milena. Yes, you loved her. "I love you (you see I love you, you dimwit, my love engulfs you the way the sea loves a tiny pebble on its bed - and may I be the pebble with you, heaven permitting)...". You knew she belonged to you. "I know my relationship to you (you belong to me, even if I should never see you again)". Yet, you drove her away because you were "in agony, in love, in worry, and in an entirely indefinite fear of the indefinite, which is indefinitely mainly because it is infinitely beyond my strength.". And I can relate to you somewhat differently on that. It is infinitely beyond my strength to form a literary relationship with you. I did sympathize with you, but I couldn't empathize. It was simply impossible, for you didn't allow me to become intimate with you. You kept your distance, and I, either from awe or fear, didn't fight to close it. But with all this, I still can't say goodbye to you. I don't know why, but it is so. Perhaps, I'm drawn to you by some invisible thread, like one tortured soul is drawn to another. And one day, I may have enough strength to confront you, and breakthrough your thick walls that I cannot penetrate now. So dear Kafka, until such time, auf wiedersehen!
January 14, 2022
It is very impressive to see Franz Kafka in his purest form and to witness his love and suffering in such a concrete way.
-Bak Milena, 'en 莽ok seni seviyorum' diyorum, ama ger莽ek sevgi bu de臒il belki, 'sen bir b谋莽aks谋n, ben de durmadan i莽imi de艧iyorum o b谋莽akla' dersem, ger莽ek sevgiyi anlatm谋艧 olurum belki."
-Bak Milena, 'en 莽ok seni seviyorum' diyorum, ama ger莽ek sevgi bu de臒il belki, 'sen bir b谋莽aks谋n, ben de durmadan i莽imi de艧iyorum o b谋莽akla' dersem, ger莽ek sevgiyi anlatm谋艧 olurum belki."
April 2, 2018
賵廿賳鬲賴鬲 乇爻丕卅賱賰 毓夭賷夭賷 賰丕賮賰丕 !
賱賲 鬲賰賳 賲噩乇丿 乇爻丕卅賱 毓丕丿賷丞 .. 賮賰丕賮賰丕 賳賮爻賴 賱賲 賷賰賳 毓丕丿賷丕賸 ..
賴匕丕 丕賱毓亘賯乇賷 丕賱賰卅賷亘 - 賰賲丕 兀丨亘 兀賳 兀丿毓賵賴 丿丕卅賲丕賸
丨鬲賶 毓賳丿賲丕 丨丕賵賱 兀賳 賷賰鬲亘 毓賳 丕賱丨亘 ..睾賷乇 兀賳賷 兀乇丕賴 廿丨鬲賷丕噩丕賸 兀賰孬乇 賲賳賴 丨亘
賰丕賳鬲 賲賱賷卅丞 亘丕賱亘丐爻 賵丕賱賰兀亘丞
乇賵丨丕賸 鬲賳夭賮 毓賱賶 丕賱賵乇賯 .. 賷亘賵丨 亘賰賱 賲丕 賮賷 賳賮爻賴 丿賵賳 鬲乇丿丿 賷賰鬲亘 毓賳 兀丿賯 丕賱兀賲賵乇
賷噩毓賱賴丕 鬲卮毓乇 丨鬲賶 亘賲丕 賷丿賵乇 賮賷 禺賱丿賴
賲賷賱賷賳丕 鬲賱賰 丕賱賲乇兀丞 丕賱鬲賷 乇丕爻賱賴丕 賱賲丿丞 賱丕 鬲夭賷丿 毓賳 毓丕賲
賰丕賳鬲 賯丿 鬲乇噩賲鬲 亘毓囟 兀毓賲丕賱賴 賲賳 丕賱兀賱賲丕賳賷丞 廿賱賶 丕賱鬲卮賷賰賷丞
賰丕賳鬲 廿賲乇兀丞 賲鬲夭賵噩丞 毓賳丿賲丕 賯丕亘賱賴丕
賵賳噩丿 兀賳 賰丕賮賰丕 賳賮爻賴 賷毓鬲乇賮 賮賷 兀禺乇 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賱賴丕 賮兀賳 賱丕 賲爻鬲賯亘賱 賱賴賲丕 賵賱丕 廿賲賰丕賳賷丞 賱賷賰賵賳丕 賲毓丕賸 賮賷 賷賵賲 賲賳 丕賱兀賷丕賲 (賲賮賷卮 賮丕賷丿丞 -_- )
賵賱賰賳 兀賷賳 賰丕賳 賴匕丕 丕賱卮毓賵乇 賲賳匕 丕賱亘丿丕賷丞 責
賰賲 賰賳鬲 兀鬲賲賳賶 兀賳 兀賯乇兀 乇爻丕卅賱賴丕 廿賱賷賴
賮毓丿賲 賵噩賵丿賴丕 賷噩毓賱賰 鬲卮毓乇 兀賳 賴賳丕賰 卮賷卅丕賸 賲賮賯賵丿丕賸
乇賵丨丕賸 兀禺乇賶 賰丕賳鬲 賴賳丕 鬲卮毓乇 亘賴丕 賵賱賰賳賰 鬲賮鬲賯丿賴丕 賱鬲賰鬲賲賱 毓賳丕氐乇 丕賱丨賰丕賷丞
賲賳匕 亘丿兀鬲 賯乇丕亍丞 賴匕賴 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賵兀賳丕 兀卮毓乇 亘賱丨賳 賲丕 賷丿賵乇 賮賷 毓賯賱賷
賱賲 兀賯賲 賷賵賲丕賸 亘乇亘胤 賰鬲丕亘 亘賲賵爻賷賯賶 賲丕
廿賱丕 賴匕賴 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱
賮兀氐亘丨鬲 賱丕 兀賯乇兀賴丕 廿賱丕 賲毓 賴匕賴 丕賱賲賵爻賷賯賶 賲賳 賮賷賱賲 (Her )
賱丕 兀丿乇賷 賱賲丕匕丕 廿乇鬲亘胤鬲 賴匕賴 丕賱賲賵爻賷賯賶 亘乇賵丨 賰丕賮賰丕 亘卮賰賱 賲丕
乇亘賲丕 賱丨夭賳賴丕 責 .. 乇亘賲丕 ..!!
June 12, 2019
毓夭賷夭鬲賷 賲賷賱賷賳丕
賲丕夭賱鬲 丌賲賱 賮賷 丕賱丨氐賵賱 毓賱賷 乇爻丕賱丞 賲賳賰 賰賱 賷賵賲 .. 廿賳 丕賱賲乇亍 亘丕賱氐丿賮丞 乇兀爻賲丕賱賷 賱丕 賷丿乇賰 賰賱 丕賱兀卮賷丕亍 丕賱鬲賷 賷賲鬲賱賰賴丕
賱賰賳賳賷 賲乇賴賯 ! 廿賳 賲丕 丨丿孬 賴賵 兀賳 丕賱毓賯賱 賱賲 賷賰賳 賱賷丨鬲賲賱 賲夭賷丿丕 賲賳 丕賱賴賲賵賲 賵丕賱賲毓丕賳丕丞 丕賱賲賰賵賲丞 賮賵賯 毓丕鬲賯賴 貙 廿賳賴 賷賯賵賱 : 賱賯丿 毓噩夭鬲 毓賳 鬲丨賲賱 匕賱賰 貙 賱賰賳 賱丕亘丿 賲賳 賲賳 賵噩賵丿 孬賲丞 賲賳 賷賵丕氐賱 丕賱丕賴鬲賲丕賲 亘爻賱丕賲丞 賰賱 卮卅 貙 賵賷噩亘 毓賱賷賴 毓賱賷賴 兀賳 賷禺賱氐賳賷 賲賳 亘毓囟 毓亘卅賷 貙 賵爻鬲馗賱 丕賱兀賲賵乇 爻丕卅乇丞 賮賷 胤乇賷賯賴丕 亘毓囟 丕賱賵賯鬲 .. 賮兀賳丕
賱丕 兀爻鬲胤賷毓 兀賳 兀賮賰乇 賮賷 兀賷 卮卅 丕賱丌賳 .. 廿賳 賲丕 丕賮毓賱賴 毓賳 胤賷亘 禺丕胤乇貙 賵亘賰賱 丕賱賮乇丨 .. 兀賳賳賷 兀氐亘 賳賮爻賷 賮賷 丕賱禺賵賮
賵賱賰賳 賲丕 丕賱匕賷 賷賲賰賳賳賷 兀賳 丕賮毓賱賴 賱賵 馗賱 賴匕丕 丕賱禺賵賮 賷賳亘囟 賮賷 噩爻丿賷 亘丿賱丕 賲賳 丕賱賯賱亘 責
賮丕賱卮卅 丕賱兀爻丕爻賷 丕賱賵丕囟丨 貙 兀賳 賷毓賷卮 兀賲乇丐 丨賷丕丞 廿賳爻丕賳賷丞 賮賷 丕賱噩賵 丕賱匕賷 賷丨賷胤 亘賷 賲爻鬲丨賷賱
毓夭賷夭鬲賷 .. 兀賷 丨賷丕丞 爻賴賱丞 鬲賱賰 丕賱鬲賷 爻賳賲囟賷賴丕 賲毓丕賸 .. 鬲氐賵乇賷 丕賱賰鬲丕亘丞 毓賳 丨賷丕鬲賳丕 賴匕賴 賲毓丕賸 貙 廿賳賳賷 賱爻鬲 爻賵賷 卮禺氐 兀丨賲賯 貙 爻丐丕賱 賵噩賵丕亘 貙 賵兀丨丿賳丕 賮賷 賲賵丕噩賴丞 丕賱丌禺乇 貙 賷亘丿賵 賱賷 丨賷賳卅匕 兀賳賳丕 爻賳鬲賲賰賳 亘丿賱丕 賲賳 丕賱丨賷丕丞 兀賳 賳爻鬲賱賯賷 賮丨爻亘 賮賷 乇囟丕 兀丨丿賳丕 亘噩丕賳亘 丕賱丌禺乇 賱賰賷 賳爻鬲賯亘賱 丕賱賲賵鬲 貙 賱賰賳 賲賴賲丕 賷丨丿孬 賲賳 兀賲乇 貙 賮爻賷賰賵賳 匕賱賰 廿賱賷 噩賵丕乇賰
毓賱賷賰 亘毓丿 賴匕丕 兀賳 鬲乇鬲丕丨賷 賲胤賲卅賳丞 賰丕胤賲卅賳丕賳賷 貙 爻兀亘賯賷 賲賳鬲馗乇丕賸 賮賷 丌禺乇 賷賵賲 貙 賰賲丕 丕賳鬲馗乇鬲 賮賷 丕賱賷賵賲 丕賱兀賵賱
廿賳 賲丕 鬲賲孬賱賷賳賴 賱賷 賷丕 賲賷賱賷賳丕 貙 賴賵 亘丕賱賳爻亘丞 賱賷 卮卅 賷鬲噩丕賵夭 賰賱 丕賱毓丕賱賲 丕賱匕賷 賳毓賷卮 賮賷賴 貙 卮卅 賱丕 賷賵噩丿 賮賷 丕賱賯氐丕氐丕鬲 丕賱賷賵賲賷丞 賲賳 丕賱兀賵乇丕賯 丕賱鬲賷 馗賱賱鬲 丕賰鬲亘賴丕 賱賰
兀乇賷丿 賮賮胤 兀賳 兀丿賮賳 賵噩賴賷 賮賷 氐丿乇賰 貙 賵兀丨爻 亘賷丿賰 賴賷 鬲賲爻丨 毓賱賷 乇兀爻賷貙 賵兀賳 兀馗賱 賴賰匕丕 廿賱賷 賳賴丕賷丞 丕賱兀亘丿賷丞
廿賳 賰鬲丕亘丞 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賮賷 丨賯賷賯鬲賴丕 賲丨丕丿孬丞 賲毓 丕賱兀卮亘丕丨 .. 賵賱賷爻 賮賯胤 賲毓 卮亘丨 丕賱賲爻鬲賱賲 賱賱乇爻丕賱丞 .. 亘賱 兀賷囟丕賸 卮亘丨 丕賱賲乇亍 賲毓 賳賮爻賴 貙 匕賱賰 丕賱匕賷 賷賳賲賵 亘賷賳 爻胤賵乇 丕賱乇爻丕賱丞 丕賱鬲賷 賷賰鬲亘賴丕 丕賱賲乇亍 .. 賵賴匕賴 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賮賷 丨賯賷賯鬲賴丕 賱丕 賳賮毓 賮賷賴丕 爻賵賷 兀賳賴丕 鬲爻亘亘 丕賱毓匕丕亘 .. 丕賱毓匕丕亘 丕賱匕賷 賱丕 卮賮丕亍 賲賳賴 ..
賵賱賵 賰丕賳鬲 賱丕 鬲爻亘亘賴 賱賰丕賳鬲 毓賳丿卅匕 兀卮丿 爻賵亍丕賻
賮丕賰鬲亘賷 賱賷 賷丕 賲賷賱賷賳丕 .. 丕賰鬲亘賷 賱賷 賷賵賲賷丕賸 .. 丨鬲賷 賵廿賳 賰丕賳 爻胤乇丕賸 兀賵 爻胤乇賷賳 ..
廿賳 丨乇賲丕賳賷 賲賳 賴匕丕 丕賱爻胤乇 丕賱賵丕丨丿 貙 爻賷賰賵賳 賲毓賳丕賴 毓匕丕亘賷 丕賱乇賴賷亘
毓匕丕亘 丨賯賷賯賷 賴匕賴 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 ...
馗賱賱鬲 賲毓賴丕 賱兀賷丕賲 賵賵噩丿鬲賳賷 賲鬲兀孬乇丞 賱賱睾丕賷丞 亘賲丕 兀賯乇兀賴 貙 賵賰兀賳賴丕 胤亘毓鬲 毓賱賷 乇賵丨賷 賲賳 毓匕丕亘賴丕 .. 兀賷丞 丨賷丕丞 鬲賱賰 丕賱鬲賷 毓丕卮賴丕 賰丕賮賰丕 賵賲賷賱賷賳丕 責 兀賷丞 丨賷丕丞貙 賵兀賷丞 兀賷丕賲 鬲賱賰 丕賱鬲賷 賷賲賰賳 兀賳 鬲賲囟賷 賴賰匕丕 賮賷 乇爻丕卅賱 賴賷 丕賱丨賷丕丞 賮賷 丨丿 匕丕鬲賴丕 貙 賮丿賵賳賴丕 賱丕 丕賱毓賲乇 毓賲乇 貙 賵賱丕 丕賱兀賷丕賲 鬲爻鬲丨賯 .. 賵賱丕 丕賱賮乇丨丞 賷賲賰賳 兀賳 鬲賯鬲乇亘 .. 賮賱丕 賮乇丨丞 賵賱丕 丕亘鬲爻丕賲丞 賮賷 賴匕賴 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 .. 賮賯胤 丕賱丕賳鬲馗丕乇 .. 丕賳鬲馗丕乇 賱爻胤乇 兀賵 爻胤乇賷賳 賷賴亘丕 丕賱丨賷丕丞 賮賷 氐亘乇 賵丕胤賲卅賳丕賳 兀賳 賰賱丕賴賲丕 賱丕 賷夭丕賱 賷丨賷丕 賮賷 賴匕丕 丕賱毓丕賱賲
...
兀賳 鬲丨亘 賴賰匕丕 .. 亘賴匕賴 丕賱氐賵乇丞 .. 賷噩毓賱賰 賱丕 鬲毓亘兀 亘兀賱賲 賵賱丕 毓匕丕亘 賵賱丕 亘賲乇囟 .. 兀賳鬲 鬲丨賷丕 賮賯胤 賲毓 賯賱賲 賲賳 鬲丨亘 .. 鬲禺丕賮 毓賱賷賴 .. 賵鬲禺丕賮 毓賱賷 賳賮爻賰 亘丿賵賳賴 貙 賮賴賵 丕賱亘賯丕亍 賵丕賱丕爻鬲賲乇丕乇賷丞 貙 賴賵 賲賳 賷爻賲毓賰 貙 賷賮賴賲賰 貙 賷丨賷丕 賲孬賱賰 乇睾賲 亘毓丿 丕賱賲爻丕賮丕鬲 貙 賷購賰賲賱賰 賮賷 賲毓丕賳丕鬲賰 賵卮賰賵丕賰 丿賵賳 賲賱賱 兀賵 囟賷賯 .. 賮賱丕 囟賷賯 賴賳丕 丨鬲賷 賲賳 丕賱卮賰賵賷 貙 賮丨鬲賷 丕賱卮賰賵賷 鬲丨亘賴丕 .. 賴賵 丨亘 丿賵賳 鬲毓亘 廿賱丕 賲賳 鬲毓亘 丕賱丕賳鬲馗丕乇
賵鬲毓亘 丕賱毓匕丕亘 丕賱丕禺鬲賷丕乇賷 丕賱匕賷 鬲禺鬲丕乇賴 亘廿乇丕丿鬲賰 賱鬲賴賾賵賳 毓賱賷 賳賮爻賰 毓匕丕亘 兀賰亘乇 亘丿賵賳賴
Want to Read
December 2, 2009Truth be told, I鈥檓 not 鈥榗urrently reading鈥� anything except hockey boxscores and those breezy MSN articles with titles like 鈥淓ight Signs She鈥檚 Into You鈥� (what can I say? I eat that shit up.)
Anyway, it鈥檚 probably not a good idea to read about a twisted, anguished, tragically thwarted love affair when one鈥檚 own romantic life is鈥nsatisfactory. Still, skimming through 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 weird, eloquent Letters to Milena got me thinking: how come nobody writes love letters anymore? Flirty emails, yes; bitter, rambling post-breakup letters鈥攕ure, who hasn鈥檛 written a few? But an honest-to-goodness, balls-out, you-complete-me sort of love letter: who does that?
I鈥檓 not the most romantic guy in the world, but I find it a little sad to think that we鈥檒l probably never see another book like this, because if there鈥檚 a modern-day Kafka out there somewhere, he鈥檚 busy jabbing 鈥榬 u horny 2?鈥� into his keypad. There鈥檚 something to be said for concision, I guess.
Anyway, it鈥檚 probably not a good idea to read about a twisted, anguished, tragically thwarted love affair when one鈥檚 own romantic life is鈥nsatisfactory. Still, skimming through 碍补蹿办补鈥檚 weird, eloquent Letters to Milena got me thinking: how come nobody writes love letters anymore? Flirty emails, yes; bitter, rambling post-breakup letters鈥攕ure, who hasn鈥檛 written a few? But an honest-to-goodness, balls-out, you-complete-me sort of love letter: who does that?
I鈥檓 not the most romantic guy in the world, but I find it a little sad to think that we鈥檒l probably never see another book like this, because if there鈥檚 a modern-day Kafka out there somewhere, he鈥檚 busy jabbing 鈥榬 u horny 2?鈥� into his keypad. There鈥檚 something to be said for concision, I guess.
Want to Read
February 21, 2024kafkaesque
August 28, 2022
Normally I love to read the published correspondence between two historical figures. It is an attractive genre because of the dynamic interaction between two people, and because 鈥� when it comes to literati 鈥� it often contains rhetorical delights. In some cases, the correspondence is also a nice addition to the biographical details of those involved. Unfortunately, this book was a letdown for me.
To begin with there鈥檚 a kind of moral issue, namely that this highly personal correspondence between Franz Kafka and Milena Jesensk谩 was never intended to be published. After all, they are mostly love letters, and what could be more intimate than a relationship that develops between two people, with all the doubts and struggles, ups and downs, passion and frustration that come with it? After a while I felt more like a voyeur than an interested reader.
Two: we only have Kafka's letters to Milena, not the other way around. So we sometimes miss really essential information to understand exactly what Kafka writes. Moreover, I suspect that Milena's letters 鈥� if we ignore the voyeuristic aspect for a moment 鈥� might have been much more interesting: from Kafka's letters we can infer that the internal struggle was on her side, torn as she was between her love for Kafka and the loyalty to her husband. His letters, on the other hand, show a fairly unambiguous line, certainly in the first half, of his gradually more passionate expression of love, and then of his increasing frustration at the lack of a lasting relationship.
And then there is the important question of whether this exchange of letters teaches us more about Kafka's oeuvre or person. I can be quite brief about the first: Kafka only sporadically refers to his own work in the letters, so as such it adds little. We do learn quite a bit about his poor health condition, which he describes extensively. But above all, the correspondence illustrates the feverishness of Kafka's mental household, his obsessions and frustrations. It is especially striking how derogatory he writes about himself, how hard he is on himself, and how he constantly analyses his feelings and fears. These are the parts that reveal more about his person.
Now, I know that there are several views on the relationship between artists and their work: Kafka seems to me pre-eminently someone whose work should be read in itself, separately from the life of the writer. In fact, these letters to Milena convinced me even more of this stance.
To begin with there鈥檚 a kind of moral issue, namely that this highly personal correspondence between Franz Kafka and Milena Jesensk谩 was never intended to be published. After all, they are mostly love letters, and what could be more intimate than a relationship that develops between two people, with all the doubts and struggles, ups and downs, passion and frustration that come with it? After a while I felt more like a voyeur than an interested reader.
Two: we only have Kafka's letters to Milena, not the other way around. So we sometimes miss really essential information to understand exactly what Kafka writes. Moreover, I suspect that Milena's letters 鈥� if we ignore the voyeuristic aspect for a moment 鈥� might have been much more interesting: from Kafka's letters we can infer that the internal struggle was on her side, torn as she was between her love for Kafka and the loyalty to her husband. His letters, on the other hand, show a fairly unambiguous line, certainly in the first half, of his gradually more passionate expression of love, and then of his increasing frustration at the lack of a lasting relationship.
And then there is the important question of whether this exchange of letters teaches us more about Kafka's oeuvre or person. I can be quite brief about the first: Kafka only sporadically refers to his own work in the letters, so as such it adds little. We do learn quite a bit about his poor health condition, which he describes extensively. But above all, the correspondence illustrates the feverishness of Kafka's mental household, his obsessions and frustrations. It is especially striking how derogatory he writes about himself, how hard he is on himself, and how he constantly analyses his feelings and fears. These are the parts that reveal more about his person.
Now, I know that there are several views on the relationship between artists and their work: Kafka seems to me pre-eminently someone whose work should be read in itself, separately from the life of the writer. In fact, these letters to Milena convinced me even more of this stance.
May 21, 2019
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賮賷 丕賱賳賴丕賷丞 鬲毓亘 賰丕賮賰丕貙 鬲毓亘 丕賱廿賳鬲馗丕乇貙 丕賱賱丕噩丿賵賶貙 丕賱賯賱賯 丕賱匕賷 賰丕賳鬲 鬲亘丿賷賴 賲賷賱賷賳丕貙 賰丕賳 賲噩乇賵丨丕賸 賲賳 賰賵賳賴 兀賲丕賲 丨亘 睾賷乇 賯丕亘賱 賱賱鬲丨賯賯貙 賲賳 噩丕賳亘 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賵賲賳 噩丕賳亘 禺賵賮賴 賴賵貙 兀毓丿賲 賱賯丕亍丕鬲 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 亘賷賳賴 賵亘賷賳賴丕 亘胤賱賯丞 賵丨卮丿 賲賳 賱賵賲 丕賱匕丕鬲貙 賲賳 毓丿賲 丕賱賷賯賷賳 賮賷 卮賷亍貙 賲賳 丕賱禺賵賮 丕賱匕賷 賰丕賳 賷噩丿賴 賮賷 賲賷賱賷賳丕貙 賰丕賳 毓賱賷賴 兀賳 賷賵賯賮 夭丨賮 匕賱賰 丕賱鬲乇丿丿貙 賵丕賱賮賳丕亍 賮賷 丕賱賱丕卮賷亍 爻賵賶 賲賲丕乇爻丞 丕賱賲夭賷丿 賲賳 丕賱賵丨丿丞 賲毓 卮亘丨 亘毓賷丿 丕賱賲賳丕賱貙 賰兀賳賴 賰丕賳 賷乇爻賱 賯亘賱丕鬲 賱卮亘丨 亘毓賷丿貙 賵賰賲丕 毓亘乇 毓賳 匕賱賰 亘賰賵賳賴 賲賳 禺賱丕賱 鬲亘丕丿賱 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賷賯亘賱 兀賵 賷夭賳賷 亘卮亘丨 睾賷乇 賲賵噩賵丿貙 卮亘丨 賯丕亘賱 賱賱鬲賰乇丕乇 賵睾賷乇 賯丕亘賱 賱賱乇氐丿貙 賲卮丕毓乇 賲賰鬲賵賲丞 鬲亘毓孬 毓賱賶 丕賱亘丐爻貙 兀乇丕丿 賰丕賮賰丕 兀賳 賷賵賯賮賴丕 貙 賮賮毓賱 匕賱賰..
賱毓賱 賰鬲丕亘丞 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賴賷 賲賳 兀賴賲 丕賱廿禺鬲乇丕毓丕鬲 丕賱亘卮乇賷丞貙 賵賲賳 兀賰孬乇賴丕 丨賲賷賲賷丞貙 賳噩丿 匕賱賰 亘賵囟賵丨 賮賷 賴匕賴 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱貙 賳噩丿 丕賱胤丕亘毓 丕賱丨賲賷賲賷 睾賷乇 丕賱賲亘鬲匕賱 亘賰賱賲丕鬲 丕賱丨亘 丕賱氐乇賷丨丞貙 賴賳丕 賱丕 卮賷亍 氐乇賷丨貙 睾賷乇 丕賱賰鬲丕亘丞 丕賱賲賰賱賵賲丞 亘噩乇丨 毓賲賷賯 賵乇睾亘丞 賮賷 丕賱亘賵丨 賵丕賱賴匕賷丕賳 賵丕賱鬲毓胤卮 賱賱乇賮賯丞 丕賱乇賵丨賷丞 ..
賳丨賳 賳丨鬲丕噩 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賮賷 丨賷丕鬲賳丕 亘卮賰賱 賰亘賷乇貙 賴賷 兀賰孬乇 賲賳 鬲賵丕氐賱 乇賵丨賷貙 賴賵 廿賲鬲夭丕噩 賯賱亘賷賳 賵乇賵丨賷賳 賮賰乇鬲賷賳貙 毓丕賱賲賷賳貙 賲丿賷賳鬲賷賳貙 兀賴丕夭賷噩 亘毓賷丿丞 貙 賷賮賯鬲乇 丕賱毓丕賱賲 廿賱賶 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱貙 丕賱毓丕賱賲 賲胤賲賵乇 鬲丨鬲 丕賱賰丌亘丞貙 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 鬲丨賷 賮賷 丕賱賳賮爻 賲丕 賷禺乇亘賴 丕賱毓丕賱賲貙 賲丕 賷毓噩夭 丕賱廿賳爻丕賳 毓賳 賯賵賱賴 賮賷 丕賱賵丕賯毓貙 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 鬲鬲賰賮賱 亘亘賵丨 丕賱廿賳爻丕賳貙 亘廿賮乇丕睾 丕賱乇賵丨 賲賳 賲丨鬲賵丕賴丕 丕賱爻賷亍 賵賲賳 廿毓鬲乇丕賮丕鬲賴丕 丕賱兀賰孬乇 丨賲賷賲賷丞 賵亘丐爻丕賸 ..
賵亘丕賱賲賳丕爻亘丞 賰鬲亘鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賮賷 丕賱噩乇丕卅丿 賳毓賷丕賸 賱賰丕賮賰丕 亘毓丿 兀賷丕賲 賯賱賷賱丞 賲賳 賵賮丕鬲賴 賵賴賷 鬲氐賮賴 毓賱賶 賴匕丕 丕賱賳丨賵 丕賱丿賯賷賯 :
" 鬲賵賮賷 賯亘賱 兀賲爻 賰丕賮賰丕貙 賯賱丞 賴賲 賲賳 賷毓乇賮賵賳賴 賱兀賳賴 賰丕賳 賲賳毓夭賱賸丕貙 丨賰賷賲賸丕 賷賴丕亘 丕賱丨賷丕丞貙 賰丕賳 禺噩賵賱賸丕 賵胤賷亘賸丕貙 賱賰賳 丕賱賰鬲亘 丕賱鬲賷 賰鬲亘賴丕 賯丕爻賷丞 賵賲賵噩毓丞貙 賴賵 兀丨賰賲 賲賳 兀賳 賷毓賷卮貙 賵兀囟毓賮 賲賳 兀賳 賷賯丕賵賲貙 賱賰賳 囟毓賮賴 賴賵 囟毓賮 兀賵賱卅賰 丕賱賲乇賴賮賷賳 丕賱毓丕噩夭賷賳 毓賳 賲賵丕噩賴丞 丕賱禺賵賮 賵爻賵亍 丕賱賮賴賲."
賮賷 丕賱賳賴丕賷丞 鬲毓亘 賰丕賮賰丕貙 鬲毓亘 丕賱廿賳鬲馗丕乇貙 丕賱賱丕噩丿賵賶貙 丕賱賯賱賯 丕賱匕賷 賰丕賳鬲 鬲亘丿賷賴 賲賷賱賷賳丕貙 賰丕賳 賲噩乇賵丨丕賸 賲賳 賰賵賳賴 兀賲丕賲 丨亘 睾賷乇 賯丕亘賱 賱賱鬲丨賯賯貙 賲賳 噩丕賳亘 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賵賲賳 噩丕賳亘 禺賵賮賴 賴賵貙 兀毓丿賲 賱賯丕亍丕鬲 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 亘賷賳賴 賵亘賷賳賴丕 亘胤賱賯丞 賵丨卮丿 賲賳 賱賵賲 丕賱匕丕鬲貙 賲賳 毓丿賲 丕賱賷賯賷賳 賮賷 卮賷亍貙 賲賳 丕賱禺賵賮 丕賱匕賷 賰丕賳 賷噩丿賴 賮賷 賲賷賱賷賳丕貙 賰丕賳 毓賱賷賴 兀賳 賷賵賯賮 夭丨賮 匕賱賰 丕賱鬲乇丿丿貙 賵丕賱賮賳丕亍 賮賷 丕賱賱丕卮賷亍 爻賵賶 賲賲丕乇爻丞 丕賱賲夭賷丿 賲賳 丕賱賵丨丿丞 賲毓 卮亘丨 亘毓賷丿 丕賱賲賳丕賱貙 賰兀賳賴 賰丕賳 賷乇爻賱 賯亘賱丕鬲 賱卮亘丨 亘毓賷丿貙 賵賰賲丕 毓亘乇 毓賳 匕賱賰 亘賰賵賳賴 賲賳 禺賱丕賱 鬲亘丕丿賱 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賷賯亘賱 兀賵 賷夭賳賷 亘卮亘丨 睾賷乇 賲賵噩賵丿貙 卮亘丨 賯丕亘賱 賱賱鬲賰乇丕乇 賵睾賷乇 賯丕亘賱 賱賱乇氐丿貙 賲卮丕毓乇 賲賰鬲賵賲丞 鬲亘毓孬 毓賱賶 丕賱亘丐爻貙 兀乇丕丿 賰丕賮賰丕 兀賳 賷賵賯賮賴丕 貙 賮賮毓賱 匕賱賰..
賱毓賱 賰鬲丕亘丞 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賴賷 賲賳 兀賴賲 丕賱廿禺鬲乇丕毓丕鬲 丕賱亘卮乇賷丞貙 賵賲賳 兀賰孬乇賴丕 丨賲賷賲賷丞貙 賳噩丿 匕賱賰 亘賵囟賵丨 賮賷 賴匕賴 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱貙 賳噩丿 丕賱胤丕亘毓 丕賱丨賲賷賲賷 睾賷乇 丕賱賲亘鬲匕賱 亘賰賱賲丕鬲 丕賱丨亘 丕賱氐乇賷丨丞貙 賴賳丕 賱丕 卮賷亍 氐乇賷丨貙 睾賷乇 丕賱賰鬲丕亘丞 丕賱賲賰賱賵賲丞 亘噩乇丨 毓賲賷賯 賵乇睾亘丞 賮賷 丕賱亘賵丨 賵丕賱賴匕賷丕賳 賵丕賱鬲毓胤卮 賱賱乇賮賯丞 丕賱乇賵丨賷丞 ..
賳丨賳 賳丨鬲丕噩 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賮賷 丨賷丕鬲賳丕 亘卮賰賱 賰亘賷乇貙 賴賷 兀賰孬乇 賲賳 鬲賵丕氐賱 乇賵丨賷貙 賴賵 廿賲鬲夭丕噩 賯賱亘賷賳 賵乇賵丨賷賳 賮賰乇鬲賷賳貙 毓丕賱賲賷賳貙 賲丿賷賳鬲賷賳貙 兀賴丕夭賷噩 亘毓賷丿丞 貙 賷賮賯鬲乇 丕賱毓丕賱賲 廿賱賶 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱貙 丕賱毓丕賱賲 賲胤賲賵乇 鬲丨鬲 丕賱賰丌亘丞貙 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 鬲丨賷 賮賷 丕賱賳賮爻 賲丕 賷禺乇亘賴 丕賱毓丕賱賲貙 賲丕 賷毓噩夭 丕賱廿賳爻丕賳 毓賳 賯賵賱賴 賮賷 丕賱賵丕賯毓貙 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 鬲鬲賰賮賱 亘亘賵丨 丕賱廿賳爻丕賳貙 亘廿賮乇丕睾 丕賱乇賵丨 賲賳 賲丨鬲賵丕賴丕 丕賱爻賷亍 賵賲賳 廿毓鬲乇丕賮丕鬲賴丕 丕賱兀賰孬乇 丨賲賷賲賷丞 賵亘丐爻丕賸 ..
賵亘丕賱賲賳丕爻亘丞 賰鬲亘鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賮賷 丕賱噩乇丕卅丿 賳毓賷丕賸 賱賰丕賮賰丕 亘毓丿 兀賷丕賲 賯賱賷賱丞 賲賳 賵賮丕鬲賴 賵賴賷 鬲氐賮賴 毓賱賶 賴匕丕 丕賱賳丨賵 丕賱丿賯賷賯 :
" 鬲賵賮賷 賯亘賱 兀賲爻 賰丕賮賰丕貙 賯賱丞 賴賲 賲賳 賷毓乇賮賵賳賴 賱兀賳賴 賰丕賳 賲賳毓夭賱賸丕貙 丨賰賷賲賸丕 賷賴丕亘 丕賱丨賷丕丞貙 賰丕賳 禺噩賵賱賸丕 賵胤賷亘賸丕貙 賱賰賳 丕賱賰鬲亘 丕賱鬲賷 賰鬲亘賴丕 賯丕爻賷丞 賵賲賵噩毓丞貙 賴賵 兀丨賰賲 賲賳 兀賳 賷毓賷卮貙 賵兀囟毓賮 賲賳 兀賳 賷賯丕賵賲貙 賱賰賳 囟毓賮賴 賴賵 囟毓賮 兀賵賱卅賰 丕賱賲乇賴賮賷賳 丕賱毓丕噩夭賷賳 毓賳 賲賵丕噩賴丞 丕賱禺賵賮 賵爻賵亍 丕賱賮賴賲."
November 9, 2024
anguish and devotion poured from those letters as the unstoppable flood of tears poured from my eyes
December 3, 2020
賳噩賲丞 賵丕丨丿丞 賱亘毓囟 丕賱丕賯鬲亘丕爻丕鬲 丕賱賯賱賷賱丞 丕賱鬲賷 賳丕賱鬲 廿毓噩丕亘賷貙 兀賲丕 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 亘氐賵乇丞 毓丕賲丞 賵噩丿鬲賴丕 禺丕氐丞 賵睾賷乇 賲賱賮鬲丞貙 賵賱丕 丨賯 賱兀丨丿 亘賳卮乇賴丕 賰賲丕 兀乇丕丿 賮乇丕賳夭 賰丕賮賰丕 賯亘賱 賵賮丕鬲賴.
October 20, 2022
Moreover, perhaps it isn鈥檛 love when I say you are what I love the most鈥攜ou are the knife I turn inside myself, this is love.
May 7, 2021
胤亘毓丕賸 賰亘丿丕賷丞 亘毓鬲匕乇 賱賱賯賵賱 兀賳 賰鬲丕亘 乇爻丕卅賱 廿賱賶 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賲丕 賴賵 丕賱丕 兀賰匕賵亘丞 賰亘賷乇丞 賵兀毓鬲賯丿 爻亘亘 丕賱囟噩丞 丨賵賱賴 賴賵 賮賯胤 賱亘賷毓 賳爻禺 兀賰鬲乇 賲賳 賯亘賱 丿賵乇 丕賱賳卮乇.
兀賵賱丕賸: 鬲氐賵賷乇 毓賱丕賯丞 賰丕賮賰丕 亘賲賷賱賷賳丕 毓賱賶 兀爻丕爻 賰賵賳賴丕 毓賱丕賯丞 毓匕乇賷丞 鬲賲孬賱 賯賲丞 丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱賵賮丕亍 賴賵 噩賴賱 鬲丕賲 亘鬲丕乇賷禺 賰丕賮賰丕 賮賷 丨賷丕鬲賴 丕賱卮禺氐賷丞 賵賰賵賳賴 兀毓鬲丕丿 賰鬲丕亘丞 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賱賱賳爻丕亍 賵賱賷爻鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賵丨丿賴丕 賮賯丿 賲乇 毓賱賷賴 兀乇亘毓 賳爻丕亍 賲禺鬲賱賮丕鬲 賱賰賱 賲賳賴賳 賯氐鬲賴丕 賵賴賳:
賮賷賱賷爻 禺胤賷亘鬲賴 賵丕賱鬲賷 鬲乇賰賴丕 賯亘賱 丕賱夭賮丕賮 賱賲噩乇丿 兀囟胤乇丕亘丕鬲賴 丕賱卮禺氐賷丞 賵禺賵賮賴 賲賳 丕賱賱賯丕亍 丕賱噩爻丿賷 亘丕賱賳爻丕亍 賵丕賱毓賱丕賯丕鬲 胤賵賷賱丞 丕賱兀賲丿貙
丕賱孬丕賳賷丞 賴賷 睾乇賷鬲 亘賱賵禺 氐丿賷賯丞 賮賷賱賷爻 丕賱鬲賷 廿爻鬲毓丕賳鬲 亘賴丕 賱毓賵丿鬲賴丕 賱賰丕賮賰丕 賵毓賵丿丞 禺胤亘鬲賴賲丕 賮兀丨亘賴丕 賰丕賮賰丕 賵亘丿兀 賮賷 賰鬲丕亘丞 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賱賴丕.
賵丕賱孬丕賱孬丞 賰丕賳鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 丕賱鬲賷 兀卮鬲賴乇鬲 乇爻丕卅賱賴 賲毓賴丕 兀賰孬乇 賲賳 睾賷乇賴丕 賵爻亘亘 丨亘賴 賱賲賷賱賷賳丕 賰丕賳 賱兀賳賴丕 賲鬲夭賵噩丞 賵鬲賯胤賳 亘毓賷丿丕賸 毓賳賴 賮賷爻鬲胤賷毓 亘亘乇丕毓丞 賱毓亘 丿賵乇 丕賱囟丨賷丞 賮賷 丨亘 賲爻鬲丨賷賱 賲毓 囟賲丕賳 兀爻鬲丨丕賱丞 鬲賵丕噩丿賴賲丕 賲毓丕賸 亘爻亘亘 夭賵丕噩賴丕貙 賰丕賳鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賲孬丕賱賷丞 賱賰丕賮賰丕 賱賴匕賷賳 丕賱爻亘亘賷賳貙
丕賱乇丕亘毓丞 賵丕賱兀禺賷乇丞 賵丕賱鬲賷 乇丕賮賯鬲賴 賮賷 賲賵鬲賴 亘丿丕亍 丕賱爻賱 賰丕賳鬲 丿賵乇丕 丕賱鬲賷 兀禺賱氐鬲 賱賴 丕賱丨亘 丨鬲賶 賵賮丕鬲賴.
兀乇亘毓 賳爻丕亍 賮賷 丨賷丕丞 賰丕賮賰丕 兀賵 兀乇亘毓 囟丨丕賷丕 賱廿賳毓丿丕賲 孬賯鬲賴 亘賳賮爻賴 賵亘兀囟胤乇丕亘丕鬲 胤賮賵賱鬲賴 兀賳鬲噩鬲 兀乇亘毓丞 賯氐氐 丨亘 睾賷乇 賲賰鬲賲賱丞 鬲賰賵賳 賮賷賴丕 丕賱賲乇兀丞 賲噩賳賷 毓賱賷賴丕 賮賷 丕賱賵丕賯毓 賵噩丕賳賷丞 賮賷 賳馗乇 賰丕賮賰丕. 賱丕 鬲賳禺丿毓 亘乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕 賮賴賵 賰丕鬲亘 賷毓乇賮 賰賷賮 賷爻胤乇 丕賱賰賱賲丕鬲 賱賷亘賷賳 丕賱丨亘 丕賱毓賲賷賯 賵賱賰賳賴 賱丕 賷賮毓賱 賲丕 賷丿賱 毓賱賶 丕賱丨亘 賴賵 賲丿賲賳 賱賱毓匕丕亘 賱賷爻 兀賰孬乇.
乇爻丕卅賱賴 賱賲賷賱賷賳丕 賲賲賱丞 賰賱賴丕 兀囟胤乇丕亘丕鬲 賵鬲毓匕賷亘 賱賱兀禺乇 賵賱賳賮爻賴 賵賰賱賴丕 鬲噩毓賱 丕賱賯丕乇賷亍 賷卮賮賯 毓賱賶 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賲賳 賴匕丕 丕賱卮禺氐 賵賷鬲爻丕卅賱 賱賲丕匕丕 鬲囟毓 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賳賮爻賴丕 賮賷 賴匕丕 丕賱賲賵賯賮 賲賳 丕賱丿禺賵賱 賮賷 毓賱丕賯丞 賲毓 卮禺氐 賲囟胤乇亘 賵賴賷 賲鬲夭賵噩丞.
兀賳氐丨 賲賳 賱賲 賷賯乇兀 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 兀賳 賱丕 賷囟賷毓 賵賯鬲賴 毓賱賷賴 廿賱丕 廿匕丕 賰丕賳 賲賴鬲賲 亘賲毓乇賮丞 噩賵丕賳亘 賳賮爻賷丞 賵賲囟胤乇亘丞 賮賷 卮禺氐賷丞 賰丕賮賰丕 丕賱毓丕卮賯 賲賳 賵乇賯 匕賱賰 丕賱賵丕賴賲 賵丕賱賲賵賴賵賲.
兀賳氐丨 亘賯乇丕亍丞 賲賯丕賱 賮乇丨 噩亘乇: 賰丕賮賰丕 賵丕賱賳爻丕亍... 丕賱賲乇兀丞 賰丕卅賳 丕賱賰鬲丕亘丞 賱鬲夭賷賷賳 丕賱噩孬丞 亘丕賱兀賳賵丕乇
賱賱鬲毓乇賮 丕賰孬乇 毓賱賶 卮禺氐賷丞 賴匕丕 丕賱賰丕賮賰丕 賯亘賱 賯乇丕亍丞 丕賱賰鬲丕亘.
兀賵賱丕賸: 鬲氐賵賷乇 毓賱丕賯丞 賰丕賮賰丕 亘賲賷賱賷賳丕 毓賱賶 兀爻丕爻 賰賵賳賴丕 毓賱丕賯丞 毓匕乇賷丞 鬲賲孬賱 賯賲丞 丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱賵賮丕亍 賴賵 噩賴賱 鬲丕賲 亘鬲丕乇賷禺 賰丕賮賰丕 賮賷 丨賷丕鬲賴 丕賱卮禺氐賷丞 賵賰賵賳賴 兀毓鬲丕丿 賰鬲丕亘丞 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賱賱賳爻丕亍 賵賱賷爻鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賵丨丿賴丕 賮賯丿 賲乇 毓賱賷賴 兀乇亘毓 賳爻丕亍 賲禺鬲賱賮丕鬲 賱賰賱 賲賳賴賳 賯氐鬲賴丕 賵賴賳:
賮賷賱賷爻 禺胤賷亘鬲賴 賵丕賱鬲賷 鬲乇賰賴丕 賯亘賱 丕賱夭賮丕賮 賱賲噩乇丿 兀囟胤乇丕亘丕鬲賴 丕賱卮禺氐賷丞 賵禺賵賮賴 賲賳 丕賱賱賯丕亍 丕賱噩爻丿賷 亘丕賱賳爻丕亍 賵丕賱毓賱丕賯丕鬲 胤賵賷賱丞 丕賱兀賲丿貙
丕賱孬丕賳賷丞 賴賷 睾乇賷鬲 亘賱賵禺 氐丿賷賯丞 賮賷賱賷爻 丕賱鬲賷 廿爻鬲毓丕賳鬲 亘賴丕 賱毓賵丿鬲賴丕 賱賰丕賮賰丕 賵毓賵丿丞 禺胤亘鬲賴賲丕 賮兀丨亘賴丕 賰丕賮賰丕 賵亘丿兀 賮賷 賰鬲丕亘丞 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賱賴丕.
賵丕賱孬丕賱孬丞 賰丕賳鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 丕賱鬲賷 兀卮鬲賴乇鬲 乇爻丕卅賱賴 賲毓賴丕 兀賰孬乇 賲賳 睾賷乇賴丕 賵爻亘亘 丨亘賴 賱賲賷賱賷賳丕 賰丕賳 賱兀賳賴丕 賲鬲夭賵噩丞 賵鬲賯胤賳 亘毓賷丿丕賸 毓賳賴 賮賷爻鬲胤賷毓 亘亘乇丕毓丞 賱毓亘 丿賵乇 丕賱囟丨賷丞 賮賷 丨亘 賲爻鬲丨賷賱 賲毓 囟賲丕賳 兀爻鬲丨丕賱丞 鬲賵丕噩丿賴賲丕 賲毓丕賸 亘爻亘亘 夭賵丕噩賴丕貙 賰丕賳鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賲孬丕賱賷丞 賱賰丕賮賰丕 賱賴匕賷賳 丕賱爻亘亘賷賳貙
丕賱乇丕亘毓丞 賵丕賱兀禺賷乇丞 賵丕賱鬲賷 乇丕賮賯鬲賴 賮賷 賲賵鬲賴 亘丿丕亍 丕賱爻賱 賰丕賳鬲 丿賵乇丕 丕賱鬲賷 兀禺賱氐鬲 賱賴 丕賱丨亘 丨鬲賶 賵賮丕鬲賴.
兀乇亘毓 賳爻丕亍 賮賷 丨賷丕丞 賰丕賮賰丕 兀賵 兀乇亘毓 囟丨丕賷丕 賱廿賳毓丿丕賲 孬賯鬲賴 亘賳賮爻賴 賵亘兀囟胤乇丕亘丕鬲 胤賮賵賱鬲賴 兀賳鬲噩鬲 兀乇亘毓丞 賯氐氐 丨亘 睾賷乇 賲賰鬲賲賱丞 鬲賰賵賳 賮賷賴丕 丕賱賲乇兀丞 賲噩賳賷 毓賱賷賴丕 賮賷 丕賱賵丕賯毓 賵噩丕賳賷丞 賮賷 賳馗乇 賰丕賮賰丕. 賱丕 鬲賳禺丿毓 亘乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕 賮賴賵 賰丕鬲亘 賷毓乇賮 賰賷賮 賷爻胤乇 丕賱賰賱賲丕鬲 賱賷亘賷賳 丕賱丨亘 丕賱毓賲賷賯 賵賱賰賳賴 賱丕 賷賮毓賱 賲丕 賷丿賱 毓賱賶 丕賱丨亘 賴賵 賲丿賲賳 賱賱毓匕丕亘 賱賷爻 兀賰孬乇.
乇爻丕卅賱賴 賱賲賷賱賷賳丕 賲賲賱丞 賰賱賴丕 兀囟胤乇丕亘丕鬲 賵鬲毓匕賷亘 賱賱兀禺乇 賵賱賳賮爻賴 賵賰賱賴丕 鬲噩毓賱 丕賱賯丕乇賷亍 賷卮賮賯 毓賱賶 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賲賳 賴匕丕 丕賱卮禺氐 賵賷鬲爻丕卅賱 賱賲丕匕丕 鬲囟毓 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賳賮爻賴丕 賮賷 賴匕丕 丕賱賲賵賯賮 賲賳 丕賱丿禺賵賱 賮賷 毓賱丕賯丞 賲毓 卮禺氐 賲囟胤乇亘 賵賴賷 賲鬲夭賵噩丞.
兀賳氐丨 賲賳 賱賲 賷賯乇兀 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 兀賳 賱丕 賷囟賷毓 賵賯鬲賴 毓賱賷賴 廿賱丕 廿匕丕 賰丕賳 賲賴鬲賲 亘賲毓乇賮丞 噩賵丕賳亘 賳賮爻賷丞 賵賲囟胤乇亘丞 賮賷 卮禺氐賷丞 賰丕賮賰丕 丕賱毓丕卮賯 賲賳 賵乇賯 匕賱賰 丕賱賵丕賴賲 賵丕賱賲賵賴賵賲.
兀賳氐丨 亘賯乇丕亍丞 賲賯丕賱 賮乇丨 噩亘乇: 賰丕賮賰丕 賵丕賱賳爻丕亍... 丕賱賲乇兀丞 賰丕卅賳 丕賱賰鬲丕亘丞 賱鬲夭賷賷賳 丕賱噩孬丞 亘丕賱兀賳賵丕乇
賱賱鬲毓乇賮 丕賰孬乇 毓賱賶 卮禺氐賷丞 賴匕丕 丕賱賰丕賮賰丕 賯亘賱 賯乇丕亍丞 丕賱賰鬲丕亘.
June 4, 2007
I have a beautiful old orange copy that I'd probably chuck out the window to save from a fire.
February 27, 2023
you are the knife I turn inside myself, this is love.
March 10, 2024
tough read for girls who yearn
November 15, 2014
賲賷賱賷賳丕 丕賱丕爻賲 丕賱兀賰孬乇 鬲賵賴噩丕賸 賲賳 亘賷賳 賰賱 丕賱兀爻賲丕亍 毓賳丿 賰丕賮賰丕 賮賴賵 賱賲 賷毓乇賮 賮賷 丨賷丕鬲賴 兀卮丿 丨亘丕賸 賲賳 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賷爻賳爻賰丕 賮賴賷 兀賰孬乇 賲賳 賮賴賲 賳賮爻賷丞 賵兀丿亘 賰丕賮賰丕 毓賱賶 丕賱乇睾賲 賲賳 兀賳 賰丕賮賰丕 卮禺氐賷丞 匕丕鬲 鬲乇賰賷亘 賳賮爻賷 亘丕賱睾 丕賱鬲毓賯賷丿.
-賮賷 亘丿丕賷丞 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賲毓 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賰丕賳 賰丕賮賰丕 卮禺氐丕 毓匕亘丕 賲鬲賯賱亘 亘賷賳 毓丕胤賮鬲賷 丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱禺賵賮.
-賵噩丿 賰丕賮賰丕 賮賷 賲賷賱賷賳丕 丕賱賲乇兀丞 丕賱賲孬賯賮丞 丕賱賲鬲丨乇乇丞 賵丕賱兀賴賲 兀賳賴丕"賲鬲夭賵噩丞" 賱丕 鬲爻鬲胤賷毓 丕賱鬲禺賱賷 毓賳 夭賵噩賴丕貙 賰丕賳 賰丕賮賰丕 賷乇賷丿 丕賲鬲賱丕賰賴丕 乇賵丨賷丕賸 賮賯胤 賱賰賵賳賴 賷禺丕賮 賲賳 丕賱夭賵丕噩 丕賱丕乇鬲亘丕胤 亘丕賱賲乇兀丞.
-賰丕賳 丕賱禺賵賮 賱睾丞 賲爻賷胤乇丞 賵賳睾賲丞 乇卅賷爻賷丞 賮賷 乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕貙 丕賱禺賵賮 賷卮賰賱 賲丨賵乇 兀毓賲丕賱 賰丕賮賰丕 賵兀丿亘賴貙賱匕賱賰 賰丕賳 賷賰鬲亘 廿賱賶 賲賷賱賷锟斤拷丕 賵賷賯賵賱"亘兀賳 兀噩賲賱 乇爻丕卅賱賰 賰賱賴丕 賴賷 丕賱鬲賷 鬲賵丕賮賯賷賳賳賷 賮賷賴丕 毓賱賶 禺賵賮賷".
-賰丕賳 賰丕賮賰丕 賷鬲賴乇亘 賲賳 賱賯丕亍 賲賷賱賷賳丕 貙賵賱賲 賷賱鬲賯賷丕賳 廿賱丕 亘毓丿 賲丨丕賵賱丕鬲 賵胤賱亘丕鬲 賰孬賷乇丞 賲賳 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賱賱丨囟賵乇 廿賱賷賴丕 貙賵賴匕丕 丕賱賴乇賵亘 賱賷爻 亘噩丿賷丿 賰丕賳 賰丕賮賰丕 賷鬲賴乇亘 賲賳 禺胤賷亘鬲賴 丕賱爻丕亘賯丞 賮賷賱爻 貙賰丕賳 賰孬賷乇丕賸 賷鬲馗丕賴乇 亘丕賱丕賳卮睾丕賱.
-賲賷賱賷賳丕 賮賷 賳馗乇 賰丕賮賰丕 鬲賲孬賱 賳賲胤 丕賱兀賲 賮賷 賱丕賵毓賷賾賴 貙賲賳 賯乇兀 爻賷乇丞 丨賷丕丞 賰丕賮賰丕 賷毓賱賲 亘兀賳賴 賰丕賳 賷毓丕賳賷 賲賳 賮鬲賵乇 丕賱丨賳丕賳 賮賷 賯賱亘 兀賲賴 賱匕賱賰 賮賷 亘毓囟 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賷丿毓賵 賲賷賱賷賳丕 亘賭 "丕賱兀賲 賲賷賱賷賳丕" 賵賮賷 賲賵囟毓 丌禺乇 賲賳 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賷賯賵賱:"丨丿賷孬 賰賳鬲 賮賷賴 賲禺賱氐丕賸 賵噩丕丿丕賸 賲孬賱 胤賮賱貙賵賰賳鬲 兀賳鬲賽 賮賷賴 噩丕丿丞 賵賵丕毓賷丞 賰兀賲 賵賱賲 兀賰賳 賯丿 乇兀賷鬲 賯胤 賮賷 丕賱賵丕賯毓 賲孬賱 賴匕丕 丕賱胤賮賱"貙賵賱丕 賲孬賱 賴匕賴 丕賱兀賲.賵賮賷 乇爻丕賱丞 兀禺乇賶 賷乇睾亘 亘丕賱氐乇丕禺 兀賲丕賲賴丕 賰胤賮賱 氐睾賷乇.
-賮賷 丌禺乇 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賷賯賱 賰賱丕賲 丕賱丨亘 賵賷毓賱賵 氐賵鬲 丕賱鬲卮丕丐賲 賵賮賷賴丕 賷馗賴乇 賰丕賮賰丕 亘卮禺氐賷丞 賲鬲賵鬲乇丞 賵 賯賱賯丞 賵毓氐亘賷丞 丕賱賲夭丕噩 賲毓 卮丿丞 丕賱賲乇囟 貙兀氐亘丨 賴丕噩爻 丕賱賲賵鬲 賷鬲爻賱賱 廿賱賶 丿丕禺賱賴 賵丕賱禺賵賮 賲賳 賮賯丿丕賳 賲賷賱賷賳丕 .
-丕賱鬲乇噩賲丞 兀賮賯丿鬲 丕賱賰孬賷乇 賲賳 噩賲丕賱 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 貙賲賳 賯乇兀 鬲乇噩賲丞 廿亘乇丕賴賷賲 賵胤賮賷 賱亘毓囟 丕賱賲賯丕胤毓 丕賱賯氐賷乇丞 賱賱乇爻丕卅賱 爻賷賱丕丨馗 丕賱賮乇賯 賱匕賱賰 兀賳丕 賮賷 丕賳鬲馗丕乇 鬲乇噩賲丞 賵胤賮賷 賱乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕 丕賱匕賷 賷毓賰賮 毓賱賶 鬲乇噩賲鬲賴丕 賵賱賲 鬲氐丿乇 丨鬲賶 丕賱丌賳.
-亘毓丿 賵賮丕丞 賰丕賮賰丕 賰鬲亘鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賮賷 氐丨賷賮丞 鬲卮賷賰賷丞 賳毓賷丕賸 賱賴 賯丕賱鬲 賮賷賴:"賰鬲亘賴 賲丿賴卮丞貙賵賴賵 賳賮爻賴 兀賰孬乇 廿孬丕乇丞 賱賱丿賴卮丞".
-賯氐丞 賴匕賴 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賵賵賮丕丞 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賱丕 鬲賯賱 賲兀爻丕丞 賲賳 賯氐丞 賲賳 賰丕賮賰丕 貙賮賷 丕賱丌孬丕乇 丕賱賰丕賲賱丞 賱賰丕賮賰丕 鬲丨丿孬 廿亘乇丕賴賷賲 賵胤賮賷:
"毓賳丿賲丕 丕丨鬲賱 賴鬲賱乇 亘乇丕睾 毓丕賲 1939 爻賻賱賻賾賲鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕 廿賱賶 氐丿賷賯 賷丿毓賶 賮賷賱賷 賴丕爻貙賵卮丕乇賰鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賮賷 丨乇賰丞 丕賱賲賯丕賵賲丞 囟丿 丕賱睾夭賵 丕賱賳丕夭賷貙賵賮賷 兀賵丕禺乇 1939 丕毓鬲賯賱賴丕 丕賱賳丕夭賷賵賳 賵賵囟毓賵賴丕 賮賷 賲毓爻賰乇 丕毓鬲賯丕賱 鬲賵賮賷鬲 賮賷賴 亘鬲丕乇賷禺 17 兀賷丕乇 1944(亘毓丿 23 賷賵賲丕賸 賲賳 賵賮丕丞 賲賷賱賷賳丕 鬲賲 鬲丨乇賷乇 賲毓爻賰乇 丕賱丕毓鬲賯丕賱 賵廿胤賱丕賯 爻乇丕丨 丕賱賲毓鬲賯賱賷賳).
-賯乇丕亍丞 乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕 廿賱賶 賲賷賱賷賳丕 囟乇賵乇賷丞 賱賲賳 賷賴鬲賲 亘兀丿亘賴 賱賱賵賯賵賮 毓賱賶 噩賵丕賳亘 噩丿賷丿丞 賲賳 丨賷丕鬲賴貙兀賱賲 賷賰鬲亘 賰丕賮賰丕 匕丕鬲 賷賵賲 賷賯賵賱:"賰賱 丕賱鬲毓丕爻丞 賮賷 丨賷丕鬲賷 爻亘亘賴丕 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱".
-賮賷 亘丿丕賷丞 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賲毓 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賰丕賳 賰丕賮賰丕 卮禺氐丕 毓匕亘丕 賲鬲賯賱亘 亘賷賳 毓丕胤賮鬲賷 丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱禺賵賮.
-賵噩丿 賰丕賮賰丕 賮賷 賲賷賱賷賳丕 丕賱賲乇兀丞 丕賱賲孬賯賮丞 丕賱賲鬲丨乇乇丞 賵丕賱兀賴賲 兀賳賴丕"賲鬲夭賵噩丞" 賱丕 鬲爻鬲胤賷毓 丕賱鬲禺賱賷 毓賳 夭賵噩賴丕貙 賰丕賳 賰丕賮賰丕 賷乇賷丿 丕賲鬲賱丕賰賴丕 乇賵丨賷丕賸 賮賯胤 賱賰賵賳賴 賷禺丕賮 賲賳 丕賱夭賵丕噩 丕賱丕乇鬲亘丕胤 亘丕賱賲乇兀丞.
-賰丕賳 丕賱禺賵賮 賱睾丞 賲爻賷胤乇丞 賵賳睾賲丞 乇卅賷爻賷丞 賮賷 乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕貙 丕賱禺賵賮 賷卮賰賱 賲丨賵乇 兀毓賲丕賱 賰丕賮賰丕 賵兀丿亘賴貙賱匕賱賰 賰丕賳 賷賰鬲亘 廿賱賶 賲賷賱賷锟斤拷丕 賵賷賯賵賱"亘兀賳 兀噩賲賱 乇爻丕卅賱賰 賰賱賴丕 賴賷 丕賱鬲賷 鬲賵丕賮賯賷賳賳賷 賮賷賴丕 毓賱賶 禺賵賮賷".
-賰丕賳 賰丕賮賰丕 賷鬲賴乇亘 賲賳 賱賯丕亍 賲賷賱賷賳丕 貙賵賱賲 賷賱鬲賯賷丕賳 廿賱丕 亘毓丿 賲丨丕賵賱丕鬲 賵胤賱亘丕鬲 賰孬賷乇丞 賲賳 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賱賱丨囟賵乇 廿賱賷賴丕 貙賵賴匕丕 丕賱賴乇賵亘 賱賷爻 亘噩丿賷丿 賰丕賳 賰丕賮賰丕 賷鬲賴乇亘 賲賳 禺胤賷亘鬲賴 丕賱爻丕亘賯丞 賮賷賱爻 貙賰丕賳 賰孬賷乇丕賸 賷鬲馗丕賴乇 亘丕賱丕賳卮睾丕賱.
-賲賷賱賷賳丕 賮賷 賳馗乇 賰丕賮賰丕 鬲賲孬賱 賳賲胤 丕賱兀賲 賮賷 賱丕賵毓賷賾賴 貙賲賳 賯乇兀 爻賷乇丞 丨賷丕丞 賰丕賮賰丕 賷毓賱賲 亘兀賳賴 賰丕賳 賷毓丕賳賷 賲賳 賮鬲賵乇 丕賱丨賳丕賳 賮賷 賯賱亘 兀賲賴 賱匕賱賰 賮賷 亘毓囟 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賷丿毓賵 賲賷賱賷賳丕 亘賭 "丕賱兀賲 賲賷賱賷賳丕" 賵賮賷 賲賵囟毓 丌禺乇 賲賳 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賷賯賵賱:"丨丿賷孬 賰賳鬲 賮賷賴 賲禺賱氐丕賸 賵噩丕丿丕賸 賲孬賱 胤賮賱貙賵賰賳鬲 兀賳鬲賽 賮賷賴 噩丕丿丞 賵賵丕毓賷丞 賰兀賲 賵賱賲 兀賰賳 賯丿 乇兀賷鬲 賯胤 賮賷 丕賱賵丕賯毓 賲孬賱 賴匕丕 丕賱胤賮賱"貙賵賱丕 賲孬賱 賴匕賴 丕賱兀賲.賵賮賷 乇爻丕賱丞 兀禺乇賶 賷乇睾亘 亘丕賱氐乇丕禺 兀賲丕賲賴丕 賰胤賮賱 氐睾賷乇.
-賮賷 丌禺乇 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賷賯賱 賰賱丕賲 丕賱丨亘 賵賷毓賱賵 氐賵鬲 丕賱鬲卮丕丐賲 賵賮賷賴丕 賷馗賴乇 賰丕賮賰丕 亘卮禺氐賷丞 賲鬲賵鬲乇丞 賵 賯賱賯丞 賵毓氐亘賷丞 丕賱賲夭丕噩 賲毓 卮丿丞 丕賱賲乇囟 貙兀氐亘丨 賴丕噩爻 丕賱賲賵鬲 賷鬲爻賱賱 廿賱賶 丿丕禺賱賴 賵丕賱禺賵賮 賲賳 賮賯丿丕賳 賲賷賱賷賳丕 .
-丕賱鬲乇噩賲丞 兀賮賯丿鬲 丕賱賰孬賷乇 賲賳 噩賲丕賱 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 貙賲賳 賯乇兀 鬲乇噩賲丞 廿亘乇丕賴賷賲 賵胤賮賷 賱亘毓囟 丕賱賲賯丕胤毓 丕賱賯氐賷乇丞 賱賱乇爻丕卅賱 爻賷賱丕丨馗 丕賱賮乇賯 賱匕賱賰 兀賳丕 賮賷 丕賳鬲馗丕乇 鬲乇噩賲丞 賵胤賮賷 賱乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕 丕賱匕賷 賷毓賰賮 毓賱賶 鬲乇噩賲鬲賴丕 賵賱賲 鬲氐丿乇 丨鬲賶 丕賱丌賳.
-亘毓丿 賵賮丕丞 賰丕賮賰丕 賰鬲亘鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賮賷 氐丨賷賮丞 鬲卮賷賰賷丞 賳毓賷丕賸 賱賴 賯丕賱鬲 賮賷賴:"賰鬲亘賴 賲丿賴卮丞貙賵賴賵 賳賮爻賴 兀賰孬乇 廿孬丕乇丞 賱賱丿賴卮丞".
-賯氐丞 賴匕賴 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賵賵賮丕丞 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賱丕 鬲賯賱 賲兀爻丕丞 賲賳 賯氐丞 賲賳 賰丕賮賰丕 貙賮賷 丕賱丌孬丕乇 丕賱賰丕賲賱丞 賱賰丕賮賰丕 鬲丨丿孬 廿亘乇丕賴賷賲 賵胤賮賷:
"毓賳丿賲丕 丕丨鬲賱 賴鬲賱乇 亘乇丕睾 毓丕賲 1939 爻賻賱賻賾賲鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕 廿賱賶 氐丿賷賯 賷丿毓賶 賮賷賱賷 賴丕爻貙賵卮丕乇賰鬲 賲賷賱賷賳丕 賮賷 丨乇賰丞 丕賱賲賯丕賵賲丞 囟丿 丕賱睾夭賵 丕賱賳丕夭賷貙賵賮賷 兀賵丕禺乇 1939 丕毓鬲賯賱賴丕 丕賱賳丕夭賷賵賳 賵賵囟毓賵賴丕 賮賷 賲毓爻賰乇 丕毓鬲賯丕賱 鬲賵賮賷鬲 賮賷賴 亘鬲丕乇賷禺 17 兀賷丕乇 1944(亘毓丿 23 賷賵賲丕賸 賲賳 賵賮丕丞 賲賷賱賷賳丕 鬲賲 鬲丨乇賷乇 賲毓爻賰乇 丕賱丕毓鬲賯丕賱 賵廿胤賱丕賯 爻乇丕丨 丕賱賲毓鬲賯賱賷賳).
-賯乇丕亍丞 乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕 廿賱賶 賲賷賱賷賳丕 囟乇賵乇賷丞 賱賲賳 賷賴鬲賲 亘兀丿亘賴 賱賱賵賯賵賮 毓賱賶 噩賵丕賳亘 噩丿賷丿丞 賲賳 丨賷丕鬲賴貙兀賱賲 賷賰鬲亘 賰丕賮賰丕 匕丕鬲 賷賵賲 賷賯賵賱:"賰賱 丕賱鬲毓丕爻丞 賮賷 丨賷丕鬲賷 爻亘亘賴丕 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱".
December 6, 2024
乇爻丕卅賱 賮乇丕賳夭 賰丕賮賰丕 廿賱賶 賲賱賷賳丕.
乇丕賮賯賳賷 賴匕丕 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 禺賱丕賱 丕賱卮賴乇 丕賱賲丕囟賷 賵賴賵 賲賳 兀丿亘 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 丨賷孬 鬲賲 噩賲毓 賲丕 賰鬲亘賴 賰丕賮賰丕 賱賲賱賷賳丕 賲賳 乇爻丕卅賱 賵廿禺乇丕噩賴丕 賱鬲馗賴乇 亘賴匕丕 丕賱卮賰賱 毓賱賶 賴賷卅丞 賰鬲丕亘.
賲丕 賷乇賵賯 賱賷 賮賷 兀丿亘 丕賱乇爻丕卅賱 賴賵 匕賱賰 丕賱丨爻 丕賱賲乇賴賮 賵丕賱賱賴賮丞 賵丕賱卮賵賯 亘賷賳 丕賱賲乇爻賱 賵丕賱賲乇爻賱 廿賱賷賴. 乇爻丕賱丞 鬲賱賵 丕賱兀禺乇賶 鬲亘賳賷 卮賷卅賸丕 賮卮賷卅賸丕 乇丕亘胤丞 賯丿 鬲賰賵賳 睾乇賷亘丞 廿賳 兀賲毓賳鬲 丕賱鬲賮賰賷乇 賮賷賴丕. 賰賳鬲 兀賵丿 賯乇丕亍丞 賲丕 賰鬲亘鬲賴 賲賱賷賳丕 亘丕賱賲賯丕亘賱 賰賷 鬲賰鬲賲賱 丕賱氐賵乇丞貙 賮禺賱丕賱 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賰賱賴 賱丕 賳噩丿 爻賵賶 乇爻丕卅賱 賰丕賮賰丕 賰賲丕 賴賵 賲賵囟丨 亘丕賱毓賳賵丕賳.
賰丕賮賰丕 卮禺氐 亘丕卅爻 賵賷丕卅爻 兀賵 賴賰匕丕 亘丿丕 賱賷 毓賱賶 丕賱兀賯賱 賵賱賰賳賴 賲購孬賯賻賱 亘丕賱丨爻 賵丕賱賮賰乇 . 兀賻丨賻亘賾 賲賱賷賳丕 亘胤乇賷賯鬲賴 丕賱禺丕氐丞 賵賰卮賮 賱賴丕 毓賳 賲賰賳賵賳丕鬲 賮賰乇賴貙 兀丨賱丕賲賴 賵賲禺丕賵賮賴 亘胤乇賷賯丞 氐丕丿賯丞 鬲禺賱賵 賲賳 丕賱鬲賰賱賮. 胤亘賷毓丞 毓賱丕賯鬲賴賲 賲毓賯丿丞 賮賲賱賷賳丕 賲鬲夭賵噩丞 賵賰丕賮賰丕 賰丕賳 賯丿 禺賻胤賻亘 賮賷 丕賱爻丕亘賯.
兀賲鬲毓賳賷 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賵亘丿兀鬲 亘丕賳丿賮丕毓 賵賱賰賳賳賷 卮毓乇鬲 亘丕賱賲賱賱 亘毓囟 丕賱卮賷亍 賲毓 丕賯鬲乇丕亘賷 賲賳 丕賱賳賴丕賷丞. 賴賳丕賰 鬲毓丕亘賷乇 賷賯賵賱賴丕 賰丕賮賰丕 鬲爻鬲賵賯賮賰 賵鬲丿毓賵賰 賱賱鬲兀賲賱 賮賷賲丕 賷賯賵賱 賮賷兀禺匕賰 賲毓賴 賮賷 乇丨賱鬲賴 丕賱賲賱賷卅丞 亘丕賱賲卮丕毓乇 丕賱鬲賷 賰孬賷乇賸丕 賲丕 鬲禺賱胤 亘賷賳 丕賱兀賱賲 賵丕賱兀賲賱. 賰賲丕 兀賳 丕賱兀丨丿丕孬 鬲鬲賲丕夭噩 賲毓 廿丨鬲賷丕噩賴 賱賱毓賱丕噩 賮賷 丕賱賲氐丨丞 丕賱賳賮爻賷丞. 賵賱賰賳賴 亘丕賱乇睾賲 賲賳 賴匕丕 賰賱賴 鬲賱賲爻 丕賱鬲賮鬲丨 賵丕賱丕爻鬲卮乇丕賯 賮賷 賰賱賲丕鬲賴 賲丕 廿賳 賷購賮氐丨 賱賲賱賷賳丕 毓賲丕 亘丿丕禺賱賴 賮賰兀賳賴丕 亘丕鬲鬲 爻亘亘賸丕 賷丿毓賵賴 賱禺賵囟 賲毓鬲乇賰 丕賱丨賷丕丞 賵丕爻鬲賰賲丕賱 丕賱賲爻賷乇 亘丕賱乇睾賲 賲賳 賰賱 丕賱氐毓丕亘 賵賴賳丕 鬲賰賲賳 乇賵毓丞 丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱氐丿丕賯丞 賵丕賱賲乇丕爻賱丞. 賴賷 乇丕亘胤丞 爻丕丨乇丞貙 睾丕賱賷丞 賵孬賲賷賳丞 噩丿賸丕 .
June 18, 2020
Written kisses never arrive at their destination; the ghosts drink them up along the way.
I wish letter writing was something not so alien these days. I sat this morning and imagined how much letters would help during a time like this, imagined what I would say (in penmanship and not through computer font) to someone across the world, or across states right now. How would a letter from my friend in Atlanta, Georgia read at this particular moment; from my brother traversing the streets of Minnesota with angst; from my sister working nights at a hospital in New York City; from my father living with curfews and harsh economic conditions in Liberia; from my friends and family in Italy, Spain, Portugal?
They say there's a special way the mind communicates with the hand, or maybe it's in the way the hand communicates with the heart, when pen goes to paper. Forget about text messages and chat screens, emails and social media updates, think about plain paper or note card, a simple pen or your favorite mechanical pencil. OK yes, maybe it ends up typed before you send it. You learn a lot about a person then. I learned much about Franz Kafka, his eccentricities and sensibilities. And I have to say, I admired the man much after reading this.
Kafka fell in love with Milena, a married woman translating his book, and they had an affair that occurred mostly through words. He worried about her constantly, offered her money and companionship, planned trips for proposed dates, even adhered to her wishes, which included being friendly with her husband, although she was in a "free love" marriage. He was a sort of recluse, a man who suffered from an illness that kept him indoors and for that we can be thankful because he produced some great works of art. He feared the motives of people who tried to friend him, especially given his notoriety. He had anxiety and found the world strange. He was in love with Chekhov's writing. This and many other things you learn when reading his letters to Milena.
In these letters he is a relatable idiosyncratic: "I can't explain to you or to anybody what it's like inside me. How can I begin to explain; I can't even explain it to myself."
In these letters, he bares his soul: "The only way to live is to be silent and still, here as well as there. With some sadness, fine, what difference does that make?"
I wish letter writing was something not so alien these days. I sat this morning and imagined how much letters would help during a time like this, imagined what I would say (in penmanship and not through computer font) to someone across the world, or across states right now. How would a letter from my friend in Atlanta, Georgia read at this particular moment; from my brother traversing the streets of Minnesota with angst; from my sister working nights at a hospital in New York City; from my father living with curfews and harsh economic conditions in Liberia; from my friends and family in Italy, Spain, Portugal?
They say there's a special way the mind communicates with the hand, or maybe it's in the way the hand communicates with the heart, when pen goes to paper. Forget about text messages and chat screens, emails and social media updates, think about plain paper or note card, a simple pen or your favorite mechanical pencil. OK yes, maybe it ends up typed before you send it. You learn a lot about a person then. I learned much about Franz Kafka, his eccentricities and sensibilities. And I have to say, I admired the man much after reading this.
I'm never afraid about you, even if it sometimes seems that way and it often does - it's simply a weakness, a mood of the heart, which knows exactly why it's beating nevertheless. Giants have their weaknesses as well; I believe even Hercules fainted once. With my teeth clenched, however, and with your eyes before me I can endure anything: distance, anxiety, worry, letterlessness.
Kafka fell in love with Milena, a married woman translating his book, and they had an affair that occurred mostly through words. He worried about her constantly, offered her money and companionship, planned trips for proposed dates, even adhered to her wishes, which included being friendly with her husband, although she was in a "free love" marriage. He was a sort of recluse, a man who suffered from an illness that kept him indoors and for that we can be thankful because he produced some great works of art. He feared the motives of people who tried to friend him, especially given his notoriety. He had anxiety and found the world strange. He was in love with Chekhov's writing. This and many other things you learn when reading his letters to Milena.
In these letters he is a relatable idiosyncratic: "I can't explain to you or to anybody what it's like inside me. How can I begin to explain; I can't even explain it to myself."
In these letters, he bares his soul: "The only way to live is to be silent and still, here as well as there. With some sadness, fine, what difference does that make?"
January 6, 2015
芦 E dire che in fondo non amo te, ma piuttosto la mia esistenza che tu mi hai donata. 禄
Nella primavera del 1920, la scrittrice boema Milena Jesensk谩 legge i primi racconti di Kafka e gli scrive per chiedere di poterli tradurre in lingua ceca. Questo 猫 l鈥檌nizio di un鈥檃ppassionata corrispondenza che continuer脿 fino al 1923. La relazione fu per gran parte condotta attraverso lettere e la loro storia d鈥檃more non ebbe mai un vero futuro. Fu Kafka a porre fine alla relazione. Dopo la sua morte, nel 1924, Milena scrisse in ricordo di lui 芦 condannato a guardare il mondo con una chiarezza cos矛 accecante, lo trov貌 insopportabile e ne mor矛. 禄
Nell鈥檃pprocciarci a un鈥檕pera cos矛 fortemente auto-biografica come un carteggio, bisogna munirsi di occhiali e cappellino. Occhiali, per saper porre la giusta distanza tra s茅 e Franz e sempre ricordarsi, 鈥榯u non sei lui, lui 猫 lui, tu non vuoi e non devi essere lui鈥�. Cappellino, per proteggere la testa dai raggi ultravioletti della partecipazione emotiva, 鈥榯u non provi quello che provano loro, quello che provano loro lo provavano loro, perch茅 sono persone che veramente hanno amato e si sono scritte鈥�. Il rischio di ustione era alto: lo avevo gi脿 corso e ci ero sprofondata dentro con 鈥楥he tu sia per me il coltello鈥�, che di questo 猫 figlio e parricida. 芦 E forse non 猫 vero amore se dico che tu mi sei la cosa pi霉 cara; amore 猫 il fatto che tu sei per me il coltello col quale frugo dentro me stesso 禄. Non volevo essere Franz e Milena come son stata Yair e Myriam, perch茅 Yair e Myriam sono pur sempre creature di finzione, nelle quali 猫 legittimo immedesimarsi, ma pretendere di capire le ragioni di Franz e le ragioni di Milena, pretendere di sentire quel che sentono loro 猫 un delirio di onnipotenza e, come se non bastasse, 猫 impossibile.
La prova fondamentale del fatto che Franz e Milena si amassero consiste in questo: che si capivano. Pur utilizzando un mezzo imperfetto, un mezzo senza corpo come sono le parole, Franz e Milena si capivano, e questo 猫 straordinario. Il lettore, invece, non capisce nulla, le date, le abbreviazioni, i sottointesi lo stordiscono. Vorrebbe entrare nella pagina e continuamente se ne sente respinto. Si chiede, 鈥榤a come poteva la povera Milena cavarci qualcosa da tutta questa confusione? come riusciva a sbrogliare il groviglio? che grimaldello usava?鈥�. L鈥檃more, usava l鈥檃more, quell鈥檃more che, una volta raggiunto un certo grado di intesa e di condivisione, necessita di mezzi di espressione cos矛 minimi, cos矛 fiacchi, da essere del tutto incomprensibili a un ascoltatore esterno. Franz e Milena si capivano perch茅 pensavano alla stessa cosa, sempre alla stessa cosa, e pensavano alla stessa cosa perch茅 amavano e, amandosi, erano l鈥檜no e l鈥檃ltra insieme. 芦 Ieri ho sognato di te. Non ricordo pi霉 quasi i singoli fatti, so soltanto che di continuo ci trasformavamo l鈥檜no nell鈥檃ltro, io ero tu, tu eri io 禄.
In una delle prime lettere, Franz definisce con un鈥檌mmagine straordinaria il suo rapporto con Milena:
芦 Credo, Milena, che noi due abbiamo una particolarit脿 in comune: siamo tanto timidi e ansiosi, quasi ogni lettera 猫 diversa, quasi ciascuna si spaventa della precedente, e, pi霉 ancora, della risposta. Lei non lo 猫 per natura, lo si vede facilmente, e io, forse, nemmeno io lo sono per natura, ma ci貌 猫 quasi diventato natura, e si dilegua soltanto nella disperazione, tutt鈥檃l pi霉 nell鈥檌ra, e, da non dimenticare, nell鈥檃ngoscia.
Talora ho l鈥檌mpressione che abbiamo una camera con due porte, l鈥檜na di fronte all鈥檃ltra, e ognuno stringe la maniglia di una porta e basta un batter di ciglia dell鈥檜no perch茅 l鈥檃ltro sia gi脿 dietro la sua porta e basta che il primo dica una sola parola, il secondo ha gi脿 certamente chiuso la porta dietro di s茅 e non si fa pi霉 vedere. Egli riaprir脿, s矛, la porta, perch茅 si tratta di una camera che forse non si pu貌 lasciare. Se non fosse esattamente come il secondo, il primo starebbe tranquillo, preferirebbe, in apparenza, non guardare neanche verso il secondo, metterebbe lentamente in ordine la camera, quasi fosse una camera come qualunque altra, ma invece fa esattamente la stessa cosa presso la sua porta, talvolta persino tutti e due sono di l脿 dalle porte e la bella camera 猫 vuota. 禄
脠 un鈥檌mmagine spiazzante sulle prime. Ci si interroga su che cosa voglia dire. Ci ho pensato un po鈥� su e credo che voglia dire questo: una relazione come quella tra Franz e Milena 猫 una versione raffinata del gioco del nascondino o del 鈥榰no, due, tre, stella!鈥�. Per ogni passo avanti, se ne fanno dieci indietro. Per ogni ardore esposto, ce ne sono cento altri soffocati. Tuttavia, nonostante sia pieno di fastidi, nonostante metta in crisi l鈥檜no e l鈥檃ltra, il gioco non si pu貌 lasciare, va giocato tutto fino in fondo, finch茅 uno dei due non fa 鈥榯ana!鈥� o non arriva a toccare il muro gridando 鈥榮tella!鈥�. 脠 un gioco sfibrante, perch茅 il bambino non si allontana dal suo nascondiglio per paura di essere scoperto; viceversa, l鈥檃ltro bambino non pu貌 allontanarsi dalla tana per non lasciarla sguarnita. Se non capitano incidenti nel mezzo, 猫 un gioco che tende infinitamente a continuare.
Il perch茅 di queste oscillazioni tra il desiderio e il pudore va cercato nella personalit脿 di Kafka. Franz 猫 afflitto da un senso di colpa atavico, quasi razziale (l鈥檈breo che 猫 in lui ruggisce a ogni cantone), che lo previene nei rapporti con l鈥檃ltro, costringendolo a interagire a un livello sempre di inferiorit脿 e di lordura. 芦 Milena, non si tratta di questo, tu non sei per me una signora, sei una fanciulla, non ho mai visto nessuna che fosse tanto fanciulla, non oser貌 porgerti la mano, fanciulla, la mano sudicia, convulsa, unghiuta, incerta e tremula, cocente e fredda 禄. Per questo io non credo che da parte di Franz ci fosse della vilt脿, della paura per Milena, l鈥檕rrore del passo, il baratro sullo scalino, ma semplicemente una consapevolezza esasperata delle proprie mancanze, gonfiate dalla sua coscienza fino a essere l鈥檜nico orizzonte possibile. Non 猫 che Kafka non allunghi la gamba per fare il passo: 猫 che, nel suo masochismo ingenuo, pensa di non averla neanche una gamba.
Ma la gamba ce l鈥檋a e Milena la vede e noi sentiamo gli strattoni che d脿, i pizzichi sul polpaccio, li sentiamo anche se di Milena non leggiamo nulla. Niente, tranne qualche inciso ingrato, incastonato nelle lettere di risposta. Milena, nella sua generosit脿 di donna, vede, pazienta e sa. E soffre. E anche il lettore soffre e vorrebbe strillare e strattonare le sbarre della gabbia arrugginita che Franz s鈥櫭� costruito intorno, ma c鈥櫭� poco da macchinare: le difese sono tutte alzate, il nemico (il salvatore) non passer脿.
L鈥檃ffievolirsi e poi lo spegnersi del carteggio 猫 una naturale conseguenza derivata dalle premesse. Nella tortura auto-inflittasi e inflitta a Milena, Franz 猫 un esecutore implacabile, logico, spietato, mai una deviazione dal regolamento. 鈥楬o deciso che non posso essere felice? Cos矛 sia. Non posso essere felice neanche se la felicit脿 mi sta a tre centimetri dalle dita. Ho deciso che felice non posso esserlo, se lo fossi tradirei me stesso, se tradisco me stesso sono perduto per sempre. E allora perch茅 venir meno alla coerenza allungando le dita? Resti pure dove sta, questa felicit脿. Io non me la merito.鈥�
脠 cos矛 terribile che viene voglia di fuggire. E fuggire bisogna. E cercare l鈥檃ria aperta. E respirare a pieni polmoni quel cielo pieno di possibilit脿 che nessuno dovrebbe mai negare a se stesso. A che vale? La vita ci punisce tutti i giorni e tutti i giorni ci premia. Risparmiamo a noi stessi altre punizioni, ma non risparmiamoci mai altri premi.
Post-scriptum: per dovere di cronaca, Franz e Milena si incontrarono pi霉 volte, sia nel sogno sia nella realt脿. Cosa accadde durante questi incontri al lettore 猫 lasciato soltanto immaginare. Se ne parla in pi霉 missive, ma mai in modo esplicito. Dopotutto, quel che accadde 猫 affar loro, lo ricordavano bene, se lo ricordavano a vicenda. Non c鈥檈ra davvero bisogno di darne una descrizione. Non sembra che questi incontri abbiano mai nociuto alla letterariet脿 della loro corrispondenza n茅 che li abbiano in qualche modo disaffezionati. Semmai, tutto il contrario.
Nella primavera del 1920, la scrittrice boema Milena Jesensk谩 legge i primi racconti di Kafka e gli scrive per chiedere di poterli tradurre in lingua ceca. Questo 猫 l鈥檌nizio di un鈥檃ppassionata corrispondenza che continuer脿 fino al 1923. La relazione fu per gran parte condotta attraverso lettere e la loro storia d鈥檃more non ebbe mai un vero futuro. Fu Kafka a porre fine alla relazione. Dopo la sua morte, nel 1924, Milena scrisse in ricordo di lui 芦 condannato a guardare il mondo con una chiarezza cos矛 accecante, lo trov貌 insopportabile e ne mor矛. 禄
Nell鈥檃pprocciarci a un鈥檕pera cos矛 fortemente auto-biografica come un carteggio, bisogna munirsi di occhiali e cappellino. Occhiali, per saper porre la giusta distanza tra s茅 e Franz e sempre ricordarsi, 鈥榯u non sei lui, lui 猫 lui, tu non vuoi e non devi essere lui鈥�. Cappellino, per proteggere la testa dai raggi ultravioletti della partecipazione emotiva, 鈥榯u non provi quello che provano loro, quello che provano loro lo provavano loro, perch茅 sono persone che veramente hanno amato e si sono scritte鈥�. Il rischio di ustione era alto: lo avevo gi脿 corso e ci ero sprofondata dentro con 鈥楥he tu sia per me il coltello鈥�, che di questo 猫 figlio e parricida. 芦 E forse non 猫 vero amore se dico che tu mi sei la cosa pi霉 cara; amore 猫 il fatto che tu sei per me il coltello col quale frugo dentro me stesso 禄. Non volevo essere Franz e Milena come son stata Yair e Myriam, perch茅 Yair e Myriam sono pur sempre creature di finzione, nelle quali 猫 legittimo immedesimarsi, ma pretendere di capire le ragioni di Franz e le ragioni di Milena, pretendere di sentire quel che sentono loro 猫 un delirio di onnipotenza e, come se non bastasse, 猫 impossibile.
La prova fondamentale del fatto che Franz e Milena si amassero consiste in questo: che si capivano. Pur utilizzando un mezzo imperfetto, un mezzo senza corpo come sono le parole, Franz e Milena si capivano, e questo 猫 straordinario. Il lettore, invece, non capisce nulla, le date, le abbreviazioni, i sottointesi lo stordiscono. Vorrebbe entrare nella pagina e continuamente se ne sente respinto. Si chiede, 鈥榤a come poteva la povera Milena cavarci qualcosa da tutta questa confusione? come riusciva a sbrogliare il groviglio? che grimaldello usava?鈥�. L鈥檃more, usava l鈥檃more, quell鈥檃more che, una volta raggiunto un certo grado di intesa e di condivisione, necessita di mezzi di espressione cos矛 minimi, cos矛 fiacchi, da essere del tutto incomprensibili a un ascoltatore esterno. Franz e Milena si capivano perch茅 pensavano alla stessa cosa, sempre alla stessa cosa, e pensavano alla stessa cosa perch茅 amavano e, amandosi, erano l鈥檜no e l鈥檃ltra insieme. 芦 Ieri ho sognato di te. Non ricordo pi霉 quasi i singoli fatti, so soltanto che di continuo ci trasformavamo l鈥檜no nell鈥檃ltro, io ero tu, tu eri io 禄.
In una delle prime lettere, Franz definisce con un鈥檌mmagine straordinaria il suo rapporto con Milena:
芦 Credo, Milena, che noi due abbiamo una particolarit脿 in comune: siamo tanto timidi e ansiosi, quasi ogni lettera 猫 diversa, quasi ciascuna si spaventa della precedente, e, pi霉 ancora, della risposta. Lei non lo 猫 per natura, lo si vede facilmente, e io, forse, nemmeno io lo sono per natura, ma ci貌 猫 quasi diventato natura, e si dilegua soltanto nella disperazione, tutt鈥檃l pi霉 nell鈥檌ra, e, da non dimenticare, nell鈥檃ngoscia.
Talora ho l鈥檌mpressione che abbiamo una camera con due porte, l鈥檜na di fronte all鈥檃ltra, e ognuno stringe la maniglia di una porta e basta un batter di ciglia dell鈥檜no perch茅 l鈥檃ltro sia gi脿 dietro la sua porta e basta che il primo dica una sola parola, il secondo ha gi脿 certamente chiuso la porta dietro di s茅 e non si fa pi霉 vedere. Egli riaprir脿, s矛, la porta, perch茅 si tratta di una camera che forse non si pu貌 lasciare. Se non fosse esattamente come il secondo, il primo starebbe tranquillo, preferirebbe, in apparenza, non guardare neanche verso il secondo, metterebbe lentamente in ordine la camera, quasi fosse una camera come qualunque altra, ma invece fa esattamente la stessa cosa presso la sua porta, talvolta persino tutti e due sono di l脿 dalle porte e la bella camera 猫 vuota. 禄
脠 un鈥檌mmagine spiazzante sulle prime. Ci si interroga su che cosa voglia dire. Ci ho pensato un po鈥� su e credo che voglia dire questo: una relazione come quella tra Franz e Milena 猫 una versione raffinata del gioco del nascondino o del 鈥榰no, due, tre, stella!鈥�. Per ogni passo avanti, se ne fanno dieci indietro. Per ogni ardore esposto, ce ne sono cento altri soffocati. Tuttavia, nonostante sia pieno di fastidi, nonostante metta in crisi l鈥檜no e l鈥檃ltra, il gioco non si pu貌 lasciare, va giocato tutto fino in fondo, finch茅 uno dei due non fa 鈥榯ana!鈥� o non arriva a toccare il muro gridando 鈥榮tella!鈥�. 脠 un gioco sfibrante, perch茅 il bambino non si allontana dal suo nascondiglio per paura di essere scoperto; viceversa, l鈥檃ltro bambino non pu貌 allontanarsi dalla tana per non lasciarla sguarnita. Se non capitano incidenti nel mezzo, 猫 un gioco che tende infinitamente a continuare.
Il perch茅 di queste oscillazioni tra il desiderio e il pudore va cercato nella personalit脿 di Kafka. Franz 猫 afflitto da un senso di colpa atavico, quasi razziale (l鈥檈breo che 猫 in lui ruggisce a ogni cantone), che lo previene nei rapporti con l鈥檃ltro, costringendolo a interagire a un livello sempre di inferiorit脿 e di lordura. 芦 Milena, non si tratta di questo, tu non sei per me una signora, sei una fanciulla, non ho mai visto nessuna che fosse tanto fanciulla, non oser貌 porgerti la mano, fanciulla, la mano sudicia, convulsa, unghiuta, incerta e tremula, cocente e fredda 禄. Per questo io non credo che da parte di Franz ci fosse della vilt脿, della paura per Milena, l鈥檕rrore del passo, il baratro sullo scalino, ma semplicemente una consapevolezza esasperata delle proprie mancanze, gonfiate dalla sua coscienza fino a essere l鈥檜nico orizzonte possibile. Non 猫 che Kafka non allunghi la gamba per fare il passo: 猫 che, nel suo masochismo ingenuo, pensa di non averla neanche una gamba.
Ma la gamba ce l鈥檋a e Milena la vede e noi sentiamo gli strattoni che d脿, i pizzichi sul polpaccio, li sentiamo anche se di Milena non leggiamo nulla. Niente, tranne qualche inciso ingrato, incastonato nelle lettere di risposta. Milena, nella sua generosit脿 di donna, vede, pazienta e sa. E soffre. E anche il lettore soffre e vorrebbe strillare e strattonare le sbarre della gabbia arrugginita che Franz s鈥櫭� costruito intorno, ma c鈥櫭� poco da macchinare: le difese sono tutte alzate, il nemico (il salvatore) non passer脿.
L鈥檃ffievolirsi e poi lo spegnersi del carteggio 猫 una naturale conseguenza derivata dalle premesse. Nella tortura auto-inflittasi e inflitta a Milena, Franz 猫 un esecutore implacabile, logico, spietato, mai una deviazione dal regolamento. 鈥楬o deciso che non posso essere felice? Cos矛 sia. Non posso essere felice neanche se la felicit脿 mi sta a tre centimetri dalle dita. Ho deciso che felice non posso esserlo, se lo fossi tradirei me stesso, se tradisco me stesso sono perduto per sempre. E allora perch茅 venir meno alla coerenza allungando le dita? Resti pure dove sta, questa felicit脿. Io non me la merito.鈥�
脠 cos矛 terribile che viene voglia di fuggire. E fuggire bisogna. E cercare l鈥檃ria aperta. E respirare a pieni polmoni quel cielo pieno di possibilit脿 che nessuno dovrebbe mai negare a se stesso. A che vale? La vita ci punisce tutti i giorni e tutti i giorni ci premia. Risparmiamo a noi stessi altre punizioni, ma non risparmiamoci mai altri premi.
Post-scriptum: per dovere di cronaca, Franz e Milena si incontrarono pi霉 volte, sia nel sogno sia nella realt脿. Cosa accadde durante questi incontri al lettore 猫 lasciato soltanto immaginare. Se ne parla in pi霉 missive, ma mai in modo esplicito. Dopotutto, quel che accadde 猫 affar loro, lo ricordavano bene, se lo ricordavano a vicenda. Non c鈥檈ra davvero bisogno di darne una descrizione. Non sembra che questi incontri abbiano mai nociuto alla letterariet脿 della loro corrispondenza n茅 che li abbiano in qualche modo disaffezionati. Semmai, tutto il contrario.
March 22, 2025
This book is everything I wanted to say but never could, until now.
鈥淚t鈥檚 a long time since I wrote to you, Frau Milena, and even today I鈥檓 writing only as the result of an incident. Actually, I don鈥檛 have to apologize for my not writing, you know after all how I hate letters. All the misfortune of my life鈥擨 don鈥檛 wish to complain, but to make a generally instructive remark鈥攄erives, one could say, from letters or from the possibility of writing letters. People have hardly ever deceived me, but letters always鈥攁nd as a matter of fact not only those of other people, but my own. In my case this is a special misfortune of which I won鈥檛 say more, but at the same time also a general one. The easy possibility of letter-writing must鈥攕een merely theoretically鈥攈ave brought into the world a terrible disintegration of souls. It is, in fact, an intercourse with ghosts, and not only with the ghost of the recipient but also with one鈥檚 own ghost which develops between the lines of the letter one is writing and even more so in a series of letters where one letter corroborates the other and can refer to it as a witness. How on earth did anyone get the idea that people can communicate with one another by letter! Of a distant person one can think, and of a person who is near one can catch hold鈥攁ll else goes beyond human strength. Writing letters, however, means to denude oneself before the ghosts, something for which they greedily wait. Written kisses don鈥檛 reach their destination, rather they are drunk on the way by the ghosts. It is on this ample nourishment that they multiply so enormously. Humanity senses this and fights against it and in order to eliminate as far as possible the ghostly element between people and to create a natural communication, the peace of souls, it has invented the railway, the motor car, the aeroplane. But it鈥檚 no longer any good, these are evidently inventions being made at the moment of crashing. The opposing side is so much calmer and stronger; after the postal service it has invented the telegraph, the telephone, the radiograph. The ghosts won鈥檛 starve, but we will perish.鈥�
鈥淚t鈥檚 a long time since I wrote to you, Frau Milena, and even today I鈥檓 writing only as the result of an incident. Actually, I don鈥檛 have to apologize for my not writing, you know after all how I hate letters. All the misfortune of my life鈥擨 don鈥檛 wish to complain, but to make a generally instructive remark鈥攄erives, one could say, from letters or from the possibility of writing letters. People have hardly ever deceived me, but letters always鈥攁nd as a matter of fact not only those of other people, but my own. In my case this is a special misfortune of which I won鈥檛 say more, but at the same time also a general one. The easy possibility of letter-writing must鈥攕een merely theoretically鈥攈ave brought into the world a terrible disintegration of souls. It is, in fact, an intercourse with ghosts, and not only with the ghost of the recipient but also with one鈥檚 own ghost which develops between the lines of the letter one is writing and even more so in a series of letters where one letter corroborates the other and can refer to it as a witness. How on earth did anyone get the idea that people can communicate with one another by letter! Of a distant person one can think, and of a person who is near one can catch hold鈥攁ll else goes beyond human strength. Writing letters, however, means to denude oneself before the ghosts, something for which they greedily wait. Written kisses don鈥檛 reach their destination, rather they are drunk on the way by the ghosts. It is on this ample nourishment that they multiply so enormously. Humanity senses this and fights against it and in order to eliminate as far as possible the ghostly element between people and to create a natural communication, the peace of souls, it has invented the railway, the motor car, the aeroplane. But it鈥檚 no longer any good, these are evidently inventions being made at the moment of crashing. The opposing side is so much calmer and stronger; after the postal service it has invented the telegraph, the telephone, the radiograph. The ghosts won鈥檛 starve, but we will perish.鈥�
February 16, 2020
Dear Franz,
I hope you鈥檝e finally found contentment wherever you are unlike when you were in this appalling world. It rather astounds me to read your letters to your love, Milena because they are the most private correspondence possible that I almost feel ashamed of having read them now. It鈥檚 as if getting to know a man beyond his grave so I felt morally bankrupt when I was done. The vulnerability with which you describe your feelings towards an obscure lover is not something that鈥檚 seeking empathetic eyes, but schlepping the preeminent essence of what we all possess: Insecurities.
Oh, how valiantly you wear them, communicate them with utmost diligence and sincerity, I couldn鈥檛 help but fall in love at an instant!
I had my first encounter with you when I accidentally stumbled upon one of your short stories, In The Penal Colony. The eerie of the story had me cracking my head over gathering all information about why you wrote what you wrote which still remains a mystery of sorts.
The letters, the letters, Franz, they aren鈥檛 the most romantic ones but definitely real, so real that one cannot fail to feel your concern and the long-distance intimacy for your irreproachable lover. Oh, I understand the art and challenge of writing letters is as tiresome as beautiful. Words can be cruel, can be highly misunderstood, especially in letters that might get delayed or lost in transit. With each passing day along the timeline I could only grow fonder and feel a petulant non-satiable love with numerous uncertainties. My dear Franz, you were right, anyone who has loved this much is nothing short of selfish, and that is alright, there鈥檚 nothing like altruistic love. After all, only a desperate one knows how to give all the love and yearns for it in the same magnitudes in return.
I left all my judgements in anticipation of the replies from the other side and also, because I know what it takes to love in distance. Wait manifests deep hunger but that turns a meal to a feast. Waiting comes with its rewards, that might be true but you sure know the crippling frustration of it, so I now wait for a letter which I know would never arrive.
with love,
a fellow yearning human
I hope you鈥檝e finally found contentment wherever you are unlike when you were in this appalling world. It rather astounds me to read your letters to your love, Milena because they are the most private correspondence possible that I almost feel ashamed of having read them now. It鈥檚 as if getting to know a man beyond his grave so I felt morally bankrupt when I was done. The vulnerability with which you describe your feelings towards an obscure lover is not something that鈥檚 seeking empathetic eyes, but schlepping the preeminent essence of what we all possess: Insecurities.
Oh, how valiantly you wear them, communicate them with utmost diligence and sincerity, I couldn鈥檛 help but fall in love at an instant!
I had my first encounter with you when I accidentally stumbled upon one of your short stories, In The Penal Colony. The eerie of the story had me cracking my head over gathering all information about why you wrote what you wrote which still remains a mystery of sorts.
The letters, the letters, Franz, they aren鈥檛 the most romantic ones but definitely real, so real that one cannot fail to feel your concern and the long-distance intimacy for your irreproachable lover. Oh, I understand the art and challenge of writing letters is as tiresome as beautiful. Words can be cruel, can be highly misunderstood, especially in letters that might get delayed or lost in transit. With each passing day along the timeline I could only grow fonder and feel a petulant non-satiable love with numerous uncertainties. My dear Franz, you were right, anyone who has loved this much is nothing short of selfish, and that is alright, there鈥檚 nothing like altruistic love. After all, only a desperate one knows how to give all the love and yearns for it in the same magnitudes in return.
I left all my judgements in anticipation of the replies from the other side and also, because I know what it takes to love in distance. Wait manifests deep hunger but that turns a meal to a feast. Waiting comes with its rewards, that might be true but you sure know the crippling frustration of it, so I now wait for a letter which I know would never arrive.
with love,
a fellow yearning human
June 26, 2016
Introduction, by Philip Boehm
A Note on the Text
--Letters to Milena
Appendices:
Milena Jesensk谩's Letters to Max Brod
Four Essays by Milena Jesensk谩: 'Vienna', 'Letters of Notable People', 'A Dream', and 'The Devil at the Hearth'
Milena Jesensk谩's Obituary for Franz Kafka
Notes
A Note on the Text
--Letters to Milena
Appendices:
Milena Jesensk谩's Letters to Max Brod
Four Essays by Milena Jesensk谩: 'Vienna', 'Letters of Notable People', 'A Dream', and 'The Devil at the Hearth'
Milena Jesensk谩's Obituary for Franz Kafka
Notes
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