ŷ������

“Look, this is all very, very weird. Why are you focusing on rumours and urban legends? You haven’t even asked me any
normal questions.��
“Normal questions? Like what?��
“Like, I don’t know, like if Lynch had any enemies.��
“Did Lynch have any enemies?��
“Well, not that I know of, no.��
“Then there really was no point in me asking that, was there? Unless you wanted to distract me. You didn’t want to distract me, did you, Kenny?��
“No, that’s not—��
“Are you playing a game with me, Kenny?��
“I don’t know what you’re—��
Inspector Me leaned forward. “Did you kill him?��
“N��!��
“It’d be OK if you did.��
Kenny recoiled, horrified. “How would that be OK?��
“Well,�� Me said, “maybe not”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“Plans are invitation to disappointment.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“Valkyrie Cain got out of the passenger side. She zipped up
her black jacket against the cold, and joined Skulduggery as he
walked up to the front door. She glanced at him, and saw that he was smiling.
"Stop doing that,�� she sighed.
“Stop doing what?�� Skulduggery responded in that gloriously velvet voice of his.
“Stop smiling. The person we want to talk to lives in the only dark house on a bright street. That’s not a good sign.��
“I didn’t realise I was smiling,�� he said.
They stopped at the door, and Skulduggery made a concerted effort to shift his features. His mouth twitched
downwards. “Am I smiling now?��
“N��.��
“Excellent,�� he said, and the smile immediately sprang back up.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“Oh, China. How I have missed you.'
'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“The world is bigger than you know, and scarier than you might imagine. The only currency worth anything is being true to yourself, and the only goal worth seeking is finding out who you truly are.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“I try not to underestimate my opponents, no matter how ridiculous their beards.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“Guild doesn't like me."
"That's true."
"He doesn't like you, ether."
"That is mystifying.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Are you taking my hat hostage?”
― Derek Landy

“This is your last chance to do the right thing.'
'Do you want to attack first, or will I?'
Skulduggery held up a finger. 'Do you mind if I confer with my colleague for a moment?'
'By all means.'
Skulduggery leaned in towards Valkyrie. 'Damn,' he whispered. 'She's not going to do the right thing.'
'Did you really think she would?'
'I was really hoping.'
'Can we beat her?' Valkyrie asked.
'I don't like our chances.'
'What are our chances?'
'We don't have any,' Skulduggery admitted. 'Do you think you can take Craven on your own?'
'No.'
'Me either. Do you want to leave him to me then, and you can take her?'
'I like that idea even less.'
'I don't blame you.'
She sighed. 'We're going to get killed, aren't we?'
'It looks likely. Our only hope is a surprise attack.'
'They're staring right at us.'
'Dammit.' Skulduggery straightened up. 'We have discussed the situation,' he said to them, 'and decided that it would be in everyone's best interests for me to fight you, Melancholia, and for both Valkyrie and Cleric Craven to stand back and cheer or boo as they see fit.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“Get away from my ex-girlfriend, you moany little whinge-bag.'
Caelen took a deep breath, like he was in pain, and stood up. His voice was low, guttural. 'I was hoping I'd get the chance to kill you.'
'You won't be killing anyone, you sad little emo git.'
'You've stood in the way of our love for long enough.'
'Just listening to you makes me want to top myself, you self-pitying Paranormal Romance novel reject.'
Caelen glared. 'Stop insulting me.'
'Why? If you cry will your mascara run?”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“You don't treat me like a child."
He smiled. "Of course I do, but you seem to have this ridiculous notion that being treated like a child means to be treated with less respect than an adult.”
― Derek Landy, The Faceless Ones

“I would love to have a battle of wits with you, Bison, but I doubt it would be a fair fight.'
'Shut your face.'
'Exactly my point.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“Clarabelle laughed like she'd just heard the funniest thing ever. "Of course you HOPE you won't die, Valkyrie! Who would HOPE to die? That's just SILLY! But you probably WILL die, that's what I'm saying. Don't you think so?”
― Derek Landy, The Faceless Ones

“Emergency Valve Regulators," she repeated. "So you do know what your doing?
"Not really," he said yanking another wire. 'I made up that term to keep you happy. I'm just pulling all the red wires because they're the pretty ones.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“I'm sorry,' said the shopkeeper. 'I can't understand your ridiculous accent.'
'My accent?'
'It is quite silly.'
'So you can't understand me?'
'Not a word.'
'Then how did you understand that?'
'I didn't.'
''You didn't understand what I just said?'
'That's right.'
'You understood that, though.'
'Not at all.'
The American glowered.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“We're here on Sanctuary business," Skulduggery tried.
The man on Deadfall's right bristled, and Deadfall grinned. "Hear that, Pete? They're with that Sanctuary."
Hokum Pete snarled. "I hate the Sanctuary."
"Oh," Skulduggery said.
"We all hate the Sanctuary."
"Ah. Then we're not here on Sanctuary business. I was just joking.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your
beard’s stupid.��
“Isn’t this fun?�� Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us
getting along so well.”
― Derek Landy, The Faceless Ones

“You're in a bad mood,' Skulduggery said. 'I understand. I do. You're saying things that you don't really mean. It's OK.'
'I'll kill you both.'
'Hurtful things said in the heat of the moment. We're not going to hold it against you, Bison. We're all friends here.'
Valkyrie nodded. 'We love you Bison.'
'We do,' Skulduggery agreed. 'You're our favourite Necromancer. You're the cuddly one.'
'Shut up,' Dragonclaw said. 'Both of you just shut up.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“If there is one regret that I have had in my life, it is that I never fathered any children. There are times, when I look at what Fergus and Beryl have produced, when I consider myself fortunate, but there are also times when it breaks my heart.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Is that it?��
“No. That’s a wall.��
“It could be disguised.��
“You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?��
“I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“What the hell is so funny?"
"First of all," she said, her confidence growing, "they're not my MASTERS. I don't have a MASTER. Second, they don't need a battalion to take you down. And third -- and this is really the most important point -- whoever said I came alone?”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Very' is such a strong word...”
― Derek Landy (Skulduggery Pleasant)

“You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last
present you gave me was a stick.��
“You wanted a weapon.��
“It was a stick.��
“It had a bow on it.��
“It was a stick.��
“I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“He could be a butterfly dreaming he's a man."
"Well, he's not. He's a big fat man dreaming he's a big fat butterfly. What the hell am I supposed to do?"
There was another hesitation. "I'm not sure. You don't happen to have a large net handy, do you?"
"I want to hit him. I want to hit YOU, but I also want to hit him.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“You should have called us. Desmond would have picked you up.'
'No I wouldn't,' Valkyrie's dad said, stepping into earshot. 'Sorry, Fletcher, but I had important fatherly duties to take care of, which included eating breakfast, showering, and finding my trousers. Of those three, I only managed two. Without looking down, can you guess which one I missed?'... Fletcher smiled back. 'I just want to borrow Stephanie for a moment.'
'Take our daughter,' Valkryie's dad said, waving a hand airily. 'We have another one now.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“Every human being who has ever lived has the same potential in them for good and evil. Mortal or sorcerer, it doesn't matter. Power has a way of bringing out the worst in people. Mevolent. Serpine. Hitler. Lord Vile. Darquesse. We're all the same."
"You just put me on a list with Hitler."
"You're going to start sulking again, aren't you?”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“It would be fun,�� Skulduggery nodded. ”I like kicking Wreath in the face. I haven't had a chance to do it nearly as much as I'd like.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“What?" she asked again.
He pointed ahead of them. "See that?"
"What, the snow?"
"Beyond that."
"More snow?"
"Stop looking at the snow.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“He looked at her. “We’re meant to be together…��
“And this is exactly what I mean.��
“Our love is written in the stars.��
“And there you go again.��
“I love you.��
“You bore me.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“You're late,' he said.
'I'm beautiful.'
'You're always beautiful.'
'I'm always late too.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer