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“God must be totally amazed by men’s initiatives, creating too many jobs out of a given hole.”
― M.F. Moonzajer

“Corn dogs are like blow jobs. If you complain about one, you're the problem.”
― Tim Dorsey, Coconut Cowboy

“Then she was tugging off his boxers. She sucked in a breath.
“Oh God, it’s so pretty.�
He snorted out a laugh. Here he was close to bending her over the
nearest surface and fucking her until they both reached oblivion and she
went and called his dick pretty?
“He is not pretty.�
“Oh, sorry. Of course not. He’s um, long! Like a bratwurst. But thick!
Like an eggplant.�
Dear God.
“Baby, you don’t want him as thick as an eggplant,� Remy murmured,
looking like he was seconds from laughing. “Eggplants are really thick.�
“I was trying to make up for the pretty mistake,� she whispered.
“I can still hear you,� Loki whispered. “My dick is sexy. He’s hot.
Masculine. Got it?�
She nodded.”
― Laylah Roberts, Daddy Unleashed