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“Always walk away from a fight. Then ambush.”
― Tim Dorsey, Gator A-Go-Go

“That, and the untended mental health problems. We have all these insane armed hobos coming from the Midwest, usually Ohio. Fuck Ohio.”
― Tim Dorsey, Florida Roadkill

“Do you think heaven's like that?

Could be worse, said Serge. You know all those pushy people who keep telling us we're not going to heaven? It could be full of them instead.”
― Tim Dorsey, Electric Barracuda

“A fallow mind is a field of discontent.”
― John H. Cunningham, Red Right Return

“Hang on to your dreams with everything you got. Because the best life is when your dreams come true. The second-best is when they don't but you never stop chasing them.”
― Tim Dorsey, Gator A-Go-Go

“You can make a day of any size.”
― Mario Iezzoni, Kracker Flats

“Corn dogs are like blow jobs. If you complain about one, you're the problem.”
― Tim Dorsey, Coconut Cowboy