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“To be groomed is to be loved and handled like a precious, delicate thing”
― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa

“Recovering from family scapegoating requires recognizing that being the ‘identified patientâ€� is symptomatic of generations of systemic dysfunction within one’s family, fueled by unrecognized anxiety and even trauma. In a certain sense, members of a dysfunctional family are participating in a ‘consensual tranceâ€�, i.e., a ‘survival tranceâ€� supported by false narratives, toxic shame, anxiety, and egoic defense mechanisms, such as denial and projection.”
― Rebecca C. Mandeville, Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed: Understanding Family Scapegoating Abuse

“As connection to the therapist is established, the therapeutic relationship offers an opportunity for the client to experience a present attachment, but it also brings up transferential tendencies associated with past attach ment relationships (Sable, 2000). Informed by the experience of interperesonal trauma and betrayal, posttraumatic transferential relationships can be exceptionally potent and volatile. In response to the therapist, clients experience fear, anger, mistrust, and suspicion, as well as hope, vulnerability, and yearning, and they are acutely attuned to subtle signals of disinterest or interest, compassion or judgment, abandonment or consistency (Herman 1992; Pearlman & Saakvitne, 1995).”
― Pat Ogden, Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy

“Many traumatized individuals are too hypervigilant to enjoy the ordinary pleasures that life has to offer, while other are too numb to absorb new experiences â€� or to be alert to signs of real danger. When the smoke detectors of the brain malfunction, people no longer run when they should be trying to escape or fight back when they should be defending themselves.”
― Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score / Trauma and Recovery / Hidden Healing Powers

“Your mother doesn’t need a diagnosis for you to determine that your relationship is unhealthy.”
― ✨Diane Metcalf

“Healing begins with awareness, understanding, and action.”
― ✨Diane Metcalf

“Two hours and seven pancakes later, I've learned something. That trauma can be long and drawn out rather than blunt and singular. That the fear of abandonment can start in childhood and morph into something debilitating throughout the course of life. That neglect, belittling, gaslighting, and shame aren't my fault. That even though I wasn't in a war, my life was a war and caused PTSD episodes, which are my panic attacks.”
― Nordika Night, Little Demon in the Details