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“It is a pleasant world we live in, sir, a very pleasant world. There are bad people in it, Mr. Richard, but if there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.”
― Charles Dickens, The Old Curiosity Shop

“The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter.”
― Dashiell Hammett, The Maltese Falcon

“Profit should never come at the cost of human blood. Any government that places profit before people is pure evil.”
― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

“She stared at him dully and said: “I don’t like crooks, and even if I did, I wouldn’t like crooks that are stool-pigeons, and if I liked crooks that are stool-pigeons, I still wouldn’t like you.â€� She turned to the outer door.”
― Dashiell Hammett, The Thin Man

“What's a crook, only a businessman without a shop.”
― Brendan Behan, The Quare Fellow

“The flute of the Pied Piper of Hamelin has never left us and it is essential that we train our ear to detect its false notes because in our case the flute is being played by the rats.”
― Dimitris Mita

“Stupid crowds are the greatest wealth of the crook politicians!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

“To err is human. To errah is Kennedy.”
― James DeAcutis, Peter Cooper and the Pirate King

“By the time the plane touched down in Portland, we had obtained signed, handwritten confessions from both criminals. They planned on hitting it rich in Vegas using the payroll money as a grub-stake. Now, the were broke, busted and bound for an Oregon jail. I often marveled at the criminal mentality. Sometimes because of their sick perversity, sometimes because of their rare ingenuity, and sometimes because they just didn’t get it; that crime doesn’t pay. You can’t do bad and get good in return.”
― Don Dupay, Behind the Badge in River City: A Portland Police Memoir

“As for the job itself, a lifelong crook doing part-time security work wasn't so strange. Half the cops in New York were thieving bitches first and cops second. City like this, it behooves you to embrace the fucking contradictions.”
― Colson Whitehead, Crook Manifesto

“As a crook he knew that everybody gets up to something when nobody's looking.”
― Colson Whitehead, Crook Manifesto

“Getting over. He'd always liked that expression. Crooks make a big score, grab that jackpot, and law-abiding black folks get over, find a way to outwit white people's rules. Stealing a little security or safety or success from a world that fought hard to keep that from you.”
― Colson Whitehead, Crook Manifesto

“You’re my mascot, Paper Moon.â€�
I was too tired to object. We both knew I was more than a mascot. I’d worked for my brother since I was eleven, for six long years.
“You should stop calling me that,� I said.
“I love that name.�
“P.M. and her dad were crooks. It gives it away.”
― Simona Moroni, Hollywood Daze

“They say the people; are the country
But to run the country, the people are too lazy
They say the people; are the country
But to run the country, the people are too lazy
So they elect any unqualified clown as presidents
And put them in charge of the countries' governments.”
― Ricardo Derose

“They say the people; are the country
But to run the country, the people are too lazy
They say the people; are the country
But to run the country, the people are too lazy
So they elect any unscrupulous crooks as presidents
And put them in charge of the countries' governments.”
― Ricardo Derose

“Carson didn’t even bother to ask Henry Bushkin to sit down. â€�I hear you’re trying to steal my goddamn company,â€� Carson said when Bushkin walked into his living room.”
― Henry Bushkin, Johnny Carson: A Taut Portrait of a Complex Man Revealing the True Johnny Carson

“One of Johnny’s head writers, Larry Klein, went directly to Carson and told him that Ed Weinberger and Henry Bushkin were trying to steal his company.”
― Henry Bushkin, Johnny Carson: A Taut Portrait of a Complex Man Revealing the True Johnny Carson

“In mid-1986, Letterman got an unexpected call from Dave Tebet, the Carson Productions executive who worked with â€�Late Night.â€� Tebet said that he and Henry Bushkin, Johnny Carson’s extremely powerful attorney, business partner, and author of his 2013 tell-all, wanted to meet with Letterman—by himself, totally confidentially. Letterman was stunned when he heard what they had come to propose: They were offering him the â€�Tonight â€� show; they wanted him to take Johnny Carson’s job. Bushkin, in his role as head of Carson Productions, said that the company intended to maintain ownership of the â€�Tonight â€� show after Johnny stepped down, and now was the time to line up Letterman to slip into Johnny’s chair. The details were vague, and to Letterman they sounded deliberately so. He said he was flattered, he listened politely, but his radar was signaling a warning. Neither man told Letterman how or when this ascension would be accomplished, a problem that started sounding even worse when Bushkin advised Letterman that no one at NBC or anywhere else knew of the plan yet—not even Carson.
Letterman, already nervous, now started to feel as if he were getting close to a fire he didn’t want to be in the same campground with. They asked Letterman not to tell anyone, not even his management. They would get back to him.
The more Letterman thought about it, the more it sounded like a palace coup. His immediate instinct was to stay out of this, because there was going to be warfare of some sort. He feared Carson would interpret this maneuver as plotting and he guessed what might happen next: Johnny’s best friend Bushkin wouldn’t take the fall. Nor would his old crony, Tebet. It would be the punk who got blamed for engineering this.
Letterman broke his promise and called Peter Lassally, Carson’s producer. Lassally was shocked by what he heard. He suspected that Bushkin was involved in all sorts of machinations that never benefited Carson. He thought about telling Johnny, but other attempts to alert the star to questionable activities by Bushkin had been harshly rebuffed. Lassally decided to see what developed and advised Dave to keep Bushkin and Tebet at a distance.
Letterman had a couple of more phone calls from Bushkin and Tebet about the deal; they discussed it with Ron Ellberger, the Indianapolis attorney that Letterman still employed. Tebet blamed the lawyer for muddying up the deal, and eventually said that Carson knew of the plan and had approved of the idea of lining up Letterman for the future.
But Tebet was lying; Carson had never heard a word about it, and when he did—long after the approach had taken place and Bushkin and Tebet were both long gone�Carson exploded with rage at the thought that this plotting had gone on behind his back. He knew exactly what he would have done if he had learned of it at the time: He would have fired Bushkin and Tebet before another day elapsed. Letterman had guessed right in steering clear of the coup. When he learned that Carson hadn’t known what was going on, Letterman was deeply thankful for his cautious instincts.
When the offer from Bushkin melted away, Letterman tried not to give it any second thoughts. Only for the briefest time did he think that he might have walked away from an offer to host the â€�Tonightâ€� show. The next time, it would not be nearly so easy to take.”
― Bill Carter, The Late Shift: Letterman, Leno & the Network Battle for the Night

“It was the way of the world. There were always bigger crooks hiding in the shadows, the biggest ones you never saw at all. They kept to themselves and counted their money and somehow managed to keep most folks busy fighting it out among themselves over crumbs.”
― Ladee Hubbard, The Talented Ribkins