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“I have crossed the seas, I have left cities behind me,
and I have followed the source of rivers towards their
source or plunged into forests, always making for other
cities. I have had women, I have fought with men ; and
I could never turn back any more than a record can spin
in reverse. And all that was leading me where ?
To this very moment...”
― Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea

“…Me anima la débil esperanza de que alguna persona llegue a entenderme. Aunque sea una sola persona. (66)”
― Ernesto Sabato, El túnel

“Part of being of a true existentialist is wanting to be what we make ourselves be by the way we choose to act, as opposed to making excuses for the way we act and regretting it.”
― Gary Cox, How to Be an Existentialist: or How to Get Real, Get a Grip and Stop Making Excuses

“There exists a world. In terms of probability this borders on the impossible. It would have been far more likely if, by chance, there was nothing at all. Then, at least, no one would have began asking why there was nothing.”
― Jostein Gaarder, Maya

“the world weighed heavily upon him. What did the world weigh? It weighs, but is not weighed. Sometimes its scales are crooked. It weighs life and labor in the balance against silver and gold. That’ll never balance. But fast and ruthless, it keeps on weighing. It spills a lot of life that way, and sometimes a little gold.”
― Walter M. Miller Jr., A Canticle for Leibowitz

“Whereas a belief in an absurd world arises out of the fundamental disharmony of a person searching for meaning in an apparently meaninglessness universe, an existential nihilist displays impassive intellectual stoicism towards their eventual mortality while embracing a passionate artistic commitment to munity against the underlying syndrome of insignificance and confusion encasing life.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

“Perhaps I can follow a heroic existential nihilist’s sterling example of surviving the harshness of reality by employing an attentive narrative examination of my recalcitrant life to extract shards of personal truth and elicit a synthesizing purposefulness of my being from the darkness, anarchy, and chaos of existence. Perhaps through the act of engaging in a deliberative examination of the ontological mystery of being and investigating the accompanying stark brutal doubt that renders a materialistic life intolerably senseless, absurd, and meaningless, I can confront the baffle of being and establish a guiding set of personal values to live by in an indifferent world. Perhaps by using the contemplative tools of narrative storytelling, I can strictly scrutinize the key leaning rubrics veiled within an array of confusing personal life experiences. Perhaps by engaging in a creative act of discovery I can blunt the pain and anguish that comes from the nightmarish experience of suffering from an existential crisis.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

“Am I alone in an ensconced inner world where I obsessively worry about what happens to me, where the story of personal survival becomes the central theme of my shallow existence? I think not. Swaddled in our own brand of strangeness, we all struggle to come to terms with our demonstrated personal shortcomings. Our yearned-for life of living in pink skyways far removed from harm’s way is depressingly marked in contrast by our actual crabby existence spent scuttling along akin to a smug lobster, scrunched down on the asphalt streets, working in the city grid as frumpy members of the faceless mob.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

“Maybe there exists an inherent contradiction in our desires. Maybe this is the reason why we never feel contentment even after the fulfilment of our desires. Maybe we desire actually of a ‘continuous desireâ€� or persistence of a desire and not its ‘fulfilmentâ€� as such.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“I’m talking about the individual US citizen’s deep fear, the same basic fear that you and I have and that everybody has except nobody ever talks about it except existentialists in convoluted French prose. Or Pascal. Our smallness, our insignificance and mortality, yours and mine, the thing that we all spend all our time not thinking about directly, that we are tiny and at the mercy of large forces and that time is always passing and that every day we’ve lost one more day that will never come back and our childhoods are over and our adolescence and the vigor of youth and soon our adulthood, that everything we see around us all the time is decaying and passing, it’s all passing away, and so are we, so am I, and given how fast the first forty-two years have shot by it’s not going to be long before I too pass away, whoever imagined that there was a more truthful way to put it than “die,â€� “pass away,â€� the very sound of it makes me feel the way I feel at dusk on a wintry Sunday.”
― David Foster Wallace, The Pale King

“Travel makes existentialists of us all.”
― Sarah Noffke, Rebels

“We are souls in the flesh
specters caught between
the limbo of yesterday and tomorrow
illusions of the present
imposters in these skins

I am rain blown sideways by the wind
My art, my love, my hunger slows the descent
I spread out like a shadow on the pavement
stomped on by what is, saved by what is not
but is and is not are so fickle

Reality and dreams dress up as one another
playing musical chairs in the mind
and if you are so lucky that a dream seizes
the throne and turns your mind into an imagination, do not revolt, do not resist

Become your madness
Become the fool”
― Connor Judson Garrett, Become The Fool

“Am I selfish to rejoice in my freedom as a priceless possession? Is freedom antecedent to selfishness or does it empower us to be selfless for others?”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“If all my life has been a mirror reflecting the others then who am I? What are my desires?”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“The element of duality gives birth to ‘contradictionâ€�. Every individual has some element of self-contradiction embedded within.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“Everything has a reason attached to its inception by virtue of the choices we make. The choices indeed materialize the reasons. The reason being the ‘causeâ€� and every cause conceptualizes an ‘effectâ€� at its core, thereby identifying itself under the principle of causality.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“Being “subjectively objectiveâ€� is to encompass every subjective perspective by appreciation, making oneself unique within the opinionated crowd. Both elements of subjectivity and objectivity must be incorporated in consonance with each other as no objectivity can be comprehended by our subjective ways of being. Objectivity lies in the realization of the existence of subjective realities. The only reality is the existence of multiple realities having their inception as human consciousness, which is the sole commonality. Subjectivity came into being with the advent of the mankind. Our varied perspectives to perceive consciousness gave it a subjective nature. It is only by the process of disintegration that one actualizes the objective aspect of consciousness residing at its core.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“I, is the most valuable possession of human being, a courtesy of consciousness; explore and cherish it.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“Do you know existence is in its purest of state when it experiences total freedom? One is under the illusion of freedom when he is into self, apart and along with the people, and this illusion shatters the day one meets with the reality that like others he too is not alone and free; but in fact, a time comes in everyone’s life, the moment of death, when the realization is thrust upon that all this time it was the illusion of reality within the illusion of freedom that created a false sense of togetherness as since inception everyone has been alone and will be until the inevitable death befalls upon them.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“Often, being in awareness and being in despair coincide.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“Dying with hopelessness is to die in despair. Hope is to know the certainty of uncertainness. It is not to quantify the uncertainness as this act itself is the act in despair, but it is to know the certainty of the existence of uncertainness. To know how certain is the ‘uncertainâ€�. The temporality of existence is uncertain, and to know the certainty of that uncertainness is to know the inevitability of death.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“The inevitability of death transpires us to acknowledge the absurdity of the worldly existence. Hope precipitates with this awareness as we realize the futility of materialism, including the possession of self as a body in the meaningless world of nothingness. We see death as a greater event than the life itself having meaning as a denouement, freeing us from the clinches of our desires, despairs and memories. We mustn’t attach hope to exterior desires but rather relate it to the inwardness in order to prevent ourselves from the never-ending chase for things which are incidental to existence and not the existence itself.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“The inception of love has always been for self. We must actualize self-love before portraying it outwards. We must overcome the despair attached to the loneliness before finding other as a companion, or else it’ll be a mere act of escapism which foster dependency.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“Maybe Life and Death seems so contrary to us because of the way we have comprehended life for all these times. And maybe, just maybe, they are one and the same thing. We have indeed made possession an indispensable part of our lives, the amassment of wealth as an intrinsic part of ourselves. Whereas death confronts us with its finality, dispossessing us from all our accumulations and from what we considered as ourselves. Maybe we can comprehend death by understanding life not as the sole purpose of our existence but as a mere point of our inception. Existence consists of two phenomena in totality; life and death. Life is an event of temporal nature identified by its subjectivity. While death is a phenomenon preordained by the presence of life itself and is recognized by its objective nature providing closure to its preceding event. Both are equally significant to ourselves. Life is not to be considered as a sole precious possession of ours which death puts away. It is not which we possess, it is us, a part of ours just as is death.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“Why me? I have committed no sin? Anyway, what is even a ‘sinâ€�? Who determines it? It’s all about subjectivity. Determination is a process of interpretation which is based upon observation. While observation on the other hand is the actualized outcome of our perception. For me it’s a sin to defy our own subjectivity and deny its existence in order to live an illusory life that is born out of Thanatos; the death instincts including fear, pride and ego. The only objectivity that is to be achieved through our respective subjectivity is to be true to ourselves, shed the lies which we have been feeding to ourselves under the influence of others; embrace the idiosyncratic nature of our being. Even if it cost our lives, we die not in denial but in acceptance. Nobody is free from their fate of death, but until then we are free to choose either to be an object of other’s reality or to be a subject of our own; defining our own essence as we exist. Even if life is an endless journey of meaningless repetition, I shall not surrender to this inevitable fate. I shall walk through it at my own pace and with no baggage forced upon me whatsoever. Let this be as my act of rebel against it. I refuse to override the preordained absurdity, its fundamental repetition by self-induced repetition lying in the substratum of denial. I AM FREE; FREE TO BE MYSELF!”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“To reap wisdom; that was, that is and that forever will be my purpose of life.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“I do not believe in the uselessness of suffering. It might be a profound reason to live.”
― Aman Tiwari, Memoir: The Cathartic Night

“A real existentialist pays attention to existence, not to existentialism. A real empiricist pays attention to the rightful use of empirical evidence, not to mere empiricism. A real humanist pays attention to a life of human substance, not to shallow theoretical concepts like humanism.”
― Abhijit Naskar, AÅŸk Mafia: Armor of The World

“He said I was a beautiful bird with a broken
wing. He said, help me and I’ll fly, but never away.”
― Ray Melnik, GHOST IN THE PARK

“Unsere Zukunft liegt vor uns, sie wird auf uns zukommen, sie ist völlig ausserhalb unserer Kontrolle. Aber es liegt an uns, sie nach unserer eigenen Vorstellung zu gestalten. Oder beim Versuch dabei zu sterben!”
― Ryan Gelpke, Die Howl Gang Legende