欧宝娱乐

“Summoning my inner Kojak, I tried to convince myself that she would have sat next to me even had there been somewhere else on the bus to sit. Unfortunately, I didn't do a very good job of self-persuasion. Good thing I wasn't in court suing myself, because I would have lost.

From: "My Best Valentine's Day.Ever: A Short Story”
― Zack Love, Stories and Scripts: an Anthology

“Now give me some advice about how to take full advantage of this city. I鈥檓 always looking to improve my odds.鈥�

鈥淛ust what I鈥檇 expect from a horny actuary.鈥�

鈥淚鈥檓 serious.鈥�

Carlos reflected for a moment on the problem at hand. He actually had never needed or tried to take full advantage of the city in order to meet women, but he thought about all of his friends who regularly did. His face lit up as he thought of some helpful advice: 鈥淕et into the arts.鈥�

鈥淭he arts?鈥�

鈥渊别补丑.鈥�

鈥淏ut I鈥檓 not artistic.鈥�

鈥淚t doesn鈥檛 matter. Many women are into the arts. Theater. Painting. Dance. They love that stuff.鈥�

鈥淵ou want me to get into dance? Earthquakes have better rhythm than me鈥nd can you really picture me in those tights?鈥�

鈥淭ake an art history class. Learn photography. Get involved in a play or an independent film production. Get artsy, Sammy. I鈥檓 telling you, the senoritas dig that stuff.鈥�

鈥凌别补濒濒测?鈥�

鈥淵eah. You need to sign up for a bunch of artistic activities. But you can鈥檛 let on that it鈥檚 all just a pretext to meet women. You have to take a real interest in the subject or they鈥檒l quickly sniff out your game.鈥�

鈥淚 don鈥檛 know鈥t鈥檚 all so foreign to me鈥 don鈥檛 know the first thing about being artistic.鈥�

鈥淗eeb, this is the time to expand your horizons. And you鈥檙e in the perfect city to do it. New York is all about reinventing yourself. Get out of your comfort zones. Become more of a Renaissance man. That鈥檚 much more interesting to women.”
― Zack Love, Sex in the Title: A Comedy about Dating, Sex, and Romance in NYC

“So I'm delighted to open up a bit about these particular details, in honor of Valentine's Day (when every balding, chubby, and short actuary wants people - especially the babes out there - to know about his studly past"

From: "My Best Valentine's Day.Ever: a Short Story”
― Zack Love, Stories and Scripts: an Anthology

“Speaking of body decorations, I luuhhhvv your belly piercing!鈥� Heeb said, looking at the gold ring in the center of her slim, tan waist. Despite the artic cold, Angelina had opted for a skin tight, black tube top that ended just above her belly, on the assumption that a warm cab, a winter coat, and a short wait to get into the club was an adequate frosty weather strategy. Heeb was still reverently staring at her belly when Angelina finally caught her breath from laughing.

鈥淒o you really like it? You鈥檙e just saying that so that you can check out my belly!鈥�

鈥淎nd what鈥檚 so bad about that? I mean, didn鈥檛 you get that belly piercing so that people would check out your belly?鈥�

鈥淣o. I just thought it would look cool鈥o you have any piercings?鈥�

鈥淎ctually, I do,鈥� Heeb replied.

鈥淲丑别谤别?鈥�

鈥淢y appendix.鈥�

鈥淗耻丑?鈥�

鈥淚 wanted to be the first guy with a pierced organ. And the appendix is a totally useless organ anyway, so I figured why the hell not?鈥�

鈥淭hat鈥檚 pretty original,鈥� she replied, amused.

鈥淥h yeah. I鈥檝e outdone every piercing fanatic out there. The only problem is when I have to go through metal detectors at the airport.鈥�

Angelina burst into laughs again, and then managed to say, 鈥淒on鈥檛 you have to take it out occasionally for a cleaning?鈥�

鈥淣ah. I figure I鈥檒l just get it removed when my appendix bursts. It鈥檒l be a two for one operation, if you know what I mean.”
― Zack Love, Sex in the Title: A Comedy about Dating, Sex, and Romance in NYC

“As far as I could tell, the quickest way to a geeky guy's heart usually involved geometric shapes.”
― Angela N. Blount, Once Upon an Ever After

“The day had come when he needed Cassy, and Cassy alone. No one, and nothing else, would satisfy him.”
― Joan Kilby, Mad About You

“Lots of men would love to--鈥� Fuck you silly. The words just popped into his mind. Jesus. Where had that come from?”
― Joan Kilby, Mad About You

“Her brain said, he鈥檚 like a brother to you. Her body rejected that notion absolutely. Her heart was confused as hell.”
― Joan Kilby, Mad About You