Humor Quotations Quotes
Quotes tagged as "humor-quotations"
Showing 1-30 of 35
“The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.”
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“A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.”
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“Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.”
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“Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.”
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“If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.”
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“Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.”
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“The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.”
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