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“Somebody always had to pay, and he was glad it was not going to be him. Meanwhile he had managed to ruin the perfect marriage by turning Dick into a crayfish and making Rachael think that he had run off with another woman.”
― Max Nowaz, Get Rich or Get Lucky

“The world is full of magic. You’ve just got to learn how to access it.”
― Max Nowaz, Get Rich or Get Lucky

“Just now he was on a mind-blowing adventure and it was rapidly spiralling out of control, and this is what he needed to concentrate his mind on. How could he squeeze Daley to get the book back; that’s if Daley had it in his possession in the first place? The next few days were going to be crucial.”
― Max Nowaz, Get Rich or Get Lucky

“A magic Adam never knew existed, yet he must somehow control it to survive.”
― Max Nowaz, Get Rich or Get Lucky

“You don’t think he’s our man?â€� asked Adam. It occurred to him that Ramsbottom was not exactly forthcoming with information.
“I didn’t say that,� Ramsbottom said. “In fact he is behaving very cautiously indeed, which makes me feel very suspicious.�
“He has probably figured out that you are following him,� said Adam. “One can hardly fail to notice you hanging around all the time.�
“That may be so,� said Ramsbottom.
“Can’t you get a disguise or something?â€� asked Adam. “So he does not recognise you.”
― Max Nowaz, Get Rich or Get Lucky

“It was amazing how a crisis could concentrate some minds while others went to pieces. Things had gone disastrously wrong in the last few days for Adam. His only worry before finding the book had been how to keep his girlfriend Linda without marrying her in the process. A contest he had lost.”
― Max Nowaz, Get Rich or Get Lucky

“He was sure people detested accountants; they were boring. In fact, he had put down his profession as an airline pilot on the form he had filled in for a dating agency. As an airline pilot you could be away just the right amount of time, when you needed a break from your love life, without facing awkward questions from her when you got back.”
― Max Nowaz, Get Rich or Get Lucky

“I’m fucking asking you!â€� The man stood his ground.
From the corner of his eye Adam could see the other man getting up from his chair. It was time to go. Adam head-butted the first man who was blocking his way, and then kneed him in the groin for good measure. As the man doubled up, Adam pushed past him.”
― Max Nowaz, Get Rich or Get Lucky

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”
― Dorothy Parker

“My shining dishonesty will be the salvation of me.”
― Diana Wynne Jones, Howl’s Moving Castle

“Inside he was hurt. Not so much with Linda, but his failure to impress women generally with his abilities. There she was, an example: lending â€� no, giving –thirty thousand pounds to a smooth-talking old bastard, but she would not part with a penny to him after living with him for a year or more.”
― Max Nowaz, Get Rich or Get Lucky

“Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.”
― Fernando Pessoa, Collected Later Poems of Alvaro de Campos: 1928-1935

“Rachael, I don’t think this is a very good idea.â€� Adam tried to protest and break away, but it was too late. She had a good hold on him by now, and he was going nowhere.
“Not bad for a little man like you,â€� she said. “There seems to be something different about you lately.â€� Rachael smiled.”
― Max Nowaz, Get Rich or Get Lucky

“There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.”
― Woody Allen, Annie Hall: Screenplay

“The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them."

(The Decider, July 21, 2007)”
― Bill Maher

“I suppose it’s not a social norm, and not a manly thing to do â€� to feel, discuss feelings. So that’s what I’m giving the finger to. Social norms and stuff…what good are social norms, really? I think all they do is project a limited and harmful image of people. It thus impedes a broader social acceptance of what someone, or a group of people, might actually be like.”
― Jess C Scott, New Order

“The English language is like London: proudly barbaric yet deeply civilised, too, common yet royal, vulgar yet processional, sacred yet profane. Each sentence we produce, whether we know it or not, is a mongrel mouthful of Chaucerian, Shakespearean, Miltonic, Johnsonian, Dickensian and American. Military, naval, legal, corporate, criminal, jazz, rap and ghetto discourses are mingled at every turn. The French language, like Paris, has attempted, through its Academy, to retain its purity, to fight the advancing tides of Franglais and international prefabrication. English, by comparison, is a shameless whore.”
― Stephen Fry, The Ode Less Travelled: Unlocking the Poet Within

“Various large treesâ€� willowy peppers and especially the pines—seem to be reaching down to hold your hand.”
― Tom Hillman, Digging for God

“The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.”
― Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment

“What would killing the Elders result in?"
"Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“You don't want him," she said to the pink-haired girl. "He has syphilis."
The girls stared. "Syphilis?"
"Five percent of people in America have it," said Ty helpfully.
"I do not have syphilis," Mark said angrily. "There are no sexually transmitted diseases in Faerieland!"
"Sorry," Jules said. "You know how syphilis is. Attacks the brain.”
― Cassandra Clare, Lady Midnight

“I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.”
― Groucho Marx

“Just think how many books I could've sold if Harry had been a bit more creative with his wand." -[On the success of 50 Shades of Grey]”
― J.K. Rowling

“People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it's impossible to count them accurately.”
― Oscar Wilde

“The eidolons started pounding on the door.
'Who is it?' Leo called.
'Valdez!'
'Valdez who?”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Tucker: "Today we ran into a mama grizzly with two cubs at the ridge off Colter Bay and Clara sang to it to make it go away."

Mrs. Avery: You sang to it?

Tucker: Her singing is that bad.”
― Cynthia Hand, Unearthly

“It doesn't matter how fat I get, my online avatars are unchanging.”
― Jasun Ether, The Beasts of Success

“What a waste of trees ... that adoption author is definitely a tree killer. ... I wish trees would sprout legs and come barging through the front doors and seek revenge for their obliterated brethren by ramming themselves down his goddamn throat.”
― Jasun Ether, The Beasts of Success

“Of course I’m sure! Jesus Christ, I’m goddamn God for fuck’s sake! Now quit sniveling and jump through that goddamn glass wall forthwith or I’ll leave you with the killer clones, revoking your Chosen One status and whatnot.”
― Jasun Ether, The Beasts of Success