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“Did you hear something?"

"No."

"Did I hear something?"

"...I don't know...”
― Matt Groening

“If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat.”
― Simone Elkeles, Return to Paradise

“At one point, I began to think that I had a divine doorman. Lenny was the most unlikely incarnation of God I could imagine, and yet, I kept drifting irresistibly towards this absurd conclusion. Despite my staunchly atheistic inclinations, I couldn't explain Lenny any other way. But eventually I came to my senses and realized that he was just one of those game show freaks with an encyclopedic memory. That didn't make him God, did it? Would God proclaim so regularly how much he likes Patsy's Pizza?”
― Zack Love, Stories and Scripts: an Anthology

“Oh no. I'm not gonna let you leave yet. I'm gonna show you the value of takin' your time to get to work. I probably should have done this a long time ago.”
― Zack Love, The Doorman

“I had always been an atheist until I met Lenny. He was too wonderously complex and good for there to be no benevolent and intelligent force behind our marvelous cosmos. Lenny gave me the actual proof my fiercely skeptical mind had always demanded. Not some logical, 37-step proof of God's existence. It was a personal proof. And it was irrefutable.”
― Zack Love, The Doorman

“Sadly enough, sometimes you and Lenny are the only real human interactions that I have all day. The rest of the day I'm just like a machine that mechnically computes and produces

Also in "Stories and Scripts:An Anthology”
― Zack Love, The Doorman

“In some mystical way, Lenny seemed to ennoble work more than anyone I had ever met"

Also in "Stories and Scripts:an Anthology”
― Zack Love, The Doorman

“My poor Eunice looked so tired when she huffed off the bus with her many bags that I nearly tackled her in a rejuvenating embrace, but I was careful not to make a scene, waving my roses and champagne at the armed men to prove that I had enough Credit to afford Retail, and then kissed her passionately on one cheek (she smelled of flight and moisturizer), then on the straight, thin, oddly non-Asian nose, then the other cheek, then back to the nose, then once more the first cheek, following the curve of freckles backward and forward, marking her nose like a bridge to be crossed twice. The champagne bottle fell out of my hands, but, whatever futuristic garbage it was made of, it didn't break.”
― Gary Shteyngart, Super Sad True Love Story

“Who can sleep when we've got Trish the fuckin' bulldozer with us?”
― Simone Elkeles, Return to Paradise

“Men have all the luck. Girl pockets are like the size of a pack of Tic Tacs. Meanwhile, you could hide a dictionary in here.”
― Cara Bastone, Promise Me Sunshine

“Miles: What would you even do with a car? Besides sit behind the wheel and make vroom-vroom noises?

Lenny: Dang, I thought for sure you weren't listening. I'd sell it, obviously. And use they money to buy a pair of roller skates. Roller skates are more my speed.

Miles: Expensive pair of roller skates.

Lenny: They'd be made of NFTs.

Miles: You have no idea what NFTs are, do you?

Lenny: Does anyone? No! Don't attempt to explain it.”
― Cara Bastone, Promise Me Sunshine