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“Science is opposed to theological dogmas because science is founded on fact. To me, the universe is simply a great machine which never came into being and never will end. The human being is no exception to the natural order. Man, like the universe, is a machine. Nothing enters our minds or determines our actions which is not directly or indirectly a response to stimuli beating upon our sense organs from without. Owing to the similarity of our construction and the sameness of our environment, we respond in like manner to similar stimuli, and from the concordance of our reactions, understanding is born. In the course of ages, mechanisms of infinite complexity are developed, but what we call 'soul' or 'spirit,' is nothing more than the sum of the functionings of the body. When this functioning ceases, the 'soul' or the 'spirit' ceases likewise.

I expressed these ideas long before the behaviorists, led by Pavlov in Russia and by Watson in the United States, proclaimed their new psychology. This apparently mechanistic conception is not antagonistic to an ethical conception of life.”
― Nikola Tesla, Inventions, Researches and Writings of Nikola Tesla

“I must endure, fighting the temptation simply to become slack-jawed like most of my school 'peers' (they wish!), who will themselves into a collective, vacant, trancelike state for the duration of each class. (Although I sometimes secretly envy their ability to empty their minds completely for a full fifty minutes, reanimating only at the sound of a bell, like Pavlov's dogs...)”
― Beth Fantaskey, Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side

“So that's the telephone? They ring, and you run.”
― Edgar Degas

“Eventually, even Pavlov found that when he heard a bell he had the overwhelming urge to feed a dog.”
― Julian K. Jarboe, Everyone on the Moon Is Essential Personnel

“Since Pawlow and his pupils have succeeded in causing the secretion of saliva in the dog by means of optic and acoustic signals, it no longer seems strange to us that what the philosopher terms an 'idea' is a process which can cause chemical changes in the body.”
― Jacques Loeb, The Mechanistic Conception of Life

“People are savages. Their civilized behaviour is only a conditioned response.”
― Ljupka Cvetanova, The New Land

“If canines can be conditioned to salivate over nonexistent food, may not men one day be likewise taught to salivate at the prospect of nonexistent facts?”
― Nicholas Meyer, The Adventure of the Peculiar Protocols: Adapted from the Journals of John H. Watson, M.D.

“Pavlov’s dogs will drool at the site of any food,
So go ahead and ring the bell,
Sing a classical song about it and
Then advertises what sells”
― Charmaine J Forde

“Signal learning (or classical or Pavlovian conditioning) is the simplest example [of learning without consciousness]. If a light signal immediately followed by a puff of air through a rubber tube is directed at a person's eye about ten times, the eyelid, which previously blinked only to the puff of air, will begin to blink to the light signal alone, and this becomes more and more frequent as trials proceed. Subjects who have undergone this well-known procedure of signal learning report that it has no conscious component whatever. Indeed, consciousness, in this example the intrusion of voluntary eye blinks to try to assist the signal learning, blocks it from occurring.”
― Julian Jaynes, The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind

“Dressed in their red suits and fake beards, they rang their bells like they were going for dog-spit gold at the Pavlov Olympics.”
― Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

“In a letter dated October 10, 1934, to Kaminskii (then the commissar of health) - a letter that was a response to the commissar's birthday congratulations to Pavlov on the occasion of his eighty-fifth birthday - Pavlov wrote about his attitude toward the October Revolution, which was 'almost directly opposite' Kaminskii's, for whom the revolution 'imbues the motherland's wonderful movement forward with courage.' On the contrary, Pavlov saw 'its enormous truly negative aspects' in the 'long-standing terror and unchecked willfulness of power,' which transformed 'our nature, which was besides rather Asiatic, into a shameful-slavish one ... And can you do much good with slaves?' Pavlov answered his own question thus '[For] pyramids, yes; but not for common genuine human happiness.”
― Evgeny Dobrenko, Late Stalinism: The Aesthetics of Politics

“Lilly Samson, The Switch, Outtakes & Quotes, shameless manipulation of.

A one minute reading test

I am dog
--Dog, Marina Lewycka, Two Caravans, 2007

Allergies disclaimer:

One must stress that this book is not intended for the unwashed masses:

I delayed showering after the last switch. I’ve created a Pavlovian response: he must associate its floral sweetness with sexual fulfilment.

Adam has a “Pavlovian� reaction to Elena’s BO? Bribes her with cake to lessen the wrath when asking Elena to wash?

He frowns, seeing that I’m silent and trembling.
‘My perfume was weak; hers much stronger.� I say, my temper flaring.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, the usual wasteman chatting up yours truly in Sarf London would probably assume that a big phat slice of Marks & Spencer’s Strawberry Pavlova will get him into the lady’s knickers.

Nope, she’s allergic to stupid.

A merengue dessert will hardly cause a rash, but a moron makes her skin crawl.

A female of the human species displayed an unconditioned response: shoved cream cake into the courting male’s face. Requested a substantial meal of Shchavel Borscht with hard boiled egg

--Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, Russian Cookbook for Love, Romance, and mating behaviours: Humans, 1904

--Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, Neutral Triggers & Conditioned Responses: Canines,1907

It is I! I make the best Byzantine shchi to entice a female.

--Nikolai Gogol, Dead Souls, Notebook (1841-1844), The Nose and other short stories

Right! She turned her nose up at his advances. Idiot! I hate strawberries! The lady did not have a sweet tooth. Man didn’t do his research.

This is a cleverly written book.

So some of you, keen aspiring readers, please have your Oxford fictionary handy.

Just saying!

In the words of our hero:

Bloody pricey...But God, it is a nice smell. Don’t you like it?

And then he “squirts onto her wrist, playfully.�

Shhhh.. Doctors Pavlov & Chekhov are not amused.
Shall we shuffle the deck with these random quotes? One minute!
Plenty of time is a full minute for a skilled bullshit dealer to shuffle themselves out of a gloomy Russian medical clerical predicament.
Not tricky when Lily Samson gives treats:

All around us are dog walkers, their expensive breeds racing about, barking and sniffing each other’s genitals.
..thinking it all through those awful dog ornaments she hated... feisty feminist...she simply hates them.
Men are so stupid!”
― Morgen Mofó

“Lilly Samson, The Switch, Outtakes & Quotes, shameless manipulation of.

A one minute reading test

I am dog
--Dog, Marina Lewycka, Two Caravans, 2007

Allergies disclaimer:

One must stress that this book is not intended for the unwashed masses:

I delayed showering after the last switch. I’ve created a Pavlovian response: he must associate its floral sweetness with sexual fulfilment.

Adam has a “Pavlovian� reaction to Elena’s BO? Bribes her with cake to lessen the wrath when asking Elena to wash?

He frowns, seeing that I’m silent and trembling.
‘My perfume was weak; hers much stronger.� I say, my temper flaring.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, the usual wasteman chatting up yours truly in Sarf London would probably assume that a big phat slice of Marks & Spencer’s Strawberry Pavlova will get him into the lady’s knickers.
Nope, she’s allergic to stupid.
A merengue dessert will hardly cause a rash, but a moron makes her skin crawl.

A female of the human species displayed an unconditioned response: shoved cream cake into the courting male’s face. Requested a substantial meal of Shchavel Borscht with hard boiled egg

--Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, Russian Cookbook for Love, Romance, and mating behaviours: Humans, 1904

Ding-dong!

--Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, Neutral Triggers & Conditioned Responses: Canines1907

It is I! I make the best Byzantine shchi to entice a female.

--Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol, Dead Souls, Notebook (1841-1844), The Nose and other short stories

Right! She turned her nose up at his advances. Idiot! I hate strawberries! The lady did not have a sweet tooth. Man didn’t do his research.

This is a cleverly written book.

So some of you, keen aspiring readers, please have your Oxford fictionary handy.

Just saying!

In the words of our hero:

Bloody pricey...But God, it is a nice smell. Don’t you like it?
And then he “squirts onto her wrist, playfully.�

Shhhh.. Doctors Pavlov & Chekhov are not amused.
Shall we shuffle the deck with these random quotes? One minute!
Plenty of time is a full minute for a skilled bullshit dealer to shuffle themselves out of a gloomy Russian medical clerical predicament.

Not tricky when Lily Samson gives treats:

All around us are dog walkers, their expensive breeds racing about, barking and sniffing each other’s genitals.
..thinking it all through those awful dog ornaments she hated... feisty feminist...she simply hates them.
Men are so stupid!

She took another whiff and yet another. She sniffed him up and down like a dog before realizing what it was: the aroma of a woman’s cunt

--Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being”
― Morgen Mofó

“Lilly Samson, The Switch, Outtakes & Quotes, shameless manipulation of.

A one minute reading test

I am dog

--Dog, Marina Lewycka, Two Caravans, 2007

Allergies disclaimer:

One must stress that this book is not intended for the unwashed masses:

I delayed showering after the last switch. I’ve created a Pavlovian response: he must associate its floral sweetness with sexual fulfilment.

Adam has a “Pavlovian� reaction to Elena’s BO? Bribes her with cake to lessen the wrath when asking Elena to wash?

He frowns, seeing that I’m silent and trembling.
‘My perfume was weak; hers much stronger.� I say, my temper flaring.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, the usual wasteman chatting up yours truly in Sarf London would probably assume that a big phat slice of Marks & Spencer’s Strawberry Pavlova will get him into the lady’s knickers.
Nope, she’s allergic to stupid.
A merengue dessert will hardly cause a rash, but a moron makes her skin crawl.

A female of the human species displayed an unconditioned response: shoved cream cake into the courting male’s face. Requested a substantial meal of Shchavel Borscht with hard boiled egg

--Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, Russian Cookbook for Love, Romance, and mating behaviours: Humans, 1904

Ding-dong!

--Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, Neutral Triggers & Conditioned Responses: Canines, 1907

It is I! I make the best Byzantine shchi to entice a female.

--Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol, Dead Souls, Notebook (1841-1844), The Nose and other short stories

Right! She turned her nose up at his advances. Idiot! I hate strawberries! The lady did not have a sweet tooth. Man didn’t do his research.

This is a cleverly written book.

So some of you, keen aspiring readers, please have your Oxford fictionary handy.

Just saying!

In the words of our hero:

Bloody pricey...But God, it is a nice smell. Don’t you like it?
And then he “squirts onto her wrist, playfully.�

Shhhh.. Doctors Pavlov & Chekhov are not amused.
Shall we shuffle the deck with these random quotes? One minute!
Plenty of time is a full minute for a skilled bullshit dealer to shuffle themselves out of a gloomy Russian medical clerical predicament.

Not tricky when Lily Samson gives treats:

All around us are dog walkers, their expensive breeds racing about, barking and sniffing each other’s genitals.
..thinking it all through those awful dog ornaments she hated... feisty feminist...she simply hates them.
Men are so stupid!

And then..

She took another whiff and yet another. She sniffed him up and down like a dog before realizing what it was: the aroma of a woman’s cunt.

--Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being”
― Morgen Mofó

“Lilly Samson, The Switch, Outtakes & Quotes, shameless manipulation of.

A one minute reading test

I am dog

--Dog, Marina Lewycka, Two Caravans, 2007

Allergies disclaimer:

One must stress that this book is not intended for the unwashed masses:

I delayed showering after the last switch. I’ve created a Pavlovian response: he must associate its floral sweetness with sexual fulfilment.

Adam has a “Pavlovian� reaction to Elena’s BO? Bribes her with cake to lessen the wrath when asking Elena to wash?

He frowns, seeing that I’m silent and trembling.
‘My perfume was weak; hers much stronger.� I say, my temper flaring.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, the usual wasteman chatting up yours truly in Sarf London would probably assume that a big phat slice of Marks & Spencer’s Strawberry Pavlova will get him into the lady’s knickers.
Nope, she’s allergic to stupid.
A merengue dessert will hardly cause a rash, but a moron makes her skin crawl.

A female of the human species displayed an unconditioned response: shoved cream cake into the courting male’s face. Requested a substantial meal of Shchavel Borscht with hard boiled egg

--Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, Russian Cookbook for Love, Romance, and mating behaviours: Humans, 1904

Ding-dong!

--Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, Neutral Triggers & Conditioned Responses: Canines, 1907

It is I! I make the best Byzantine shchi to entice a female.

--Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol, Dead Souls, Notebook (1841-1844), The Nose and other short stories

Right! She turned her nose up at his advances. Idiot! I hate strawberries! The lady did not have a sweet tooth. Man didn’t do his research.

This is a cleverly written book.

So some of you, keen aspiring readers, please have your Oxford fictionary handy.

Just saying!

In the words of our hero:

Bloody pricey...But God, it is a nice smell. Don’t you like it?
And then he “squirts onto her wrist, playfully.�

Shhhh.. Doctors Pavlov & Chekhov are not amused.
Shall we shuffle the deck with these random quotes? One minute!
Plenty of time is a full minute for a skilled bullshit dealer to shuffle themselves out of a gloomy Russian medical clerical predicament.

Not tricky when Lily Samson gives treats:

All around us are dog walkers, their expensive breeds racing about, barking and sniffing each other’s genitals.
..thinking it all through those awful dog ornaments she hated... feisty feminist...she simply hates them.
Men are so stupid!

And then..

She took another whiff and yet another. She sniffed him up and down like a dog before realizing what it was: the aroma of a woman’s cunt.

--Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being”
― Morgen Mofó

“Lilly Samson, The Switch, Outtakes & Quotes, shameless manipulation of.

A one minute reading test

I am dog

--Dog, Marina Lewycka, Two Caravans, 2007

Allergies disclaimer:

One must stress that this book is not intended for the unwashed masses:

I delayed showering after the last switch. I’ve created a Pavlovian response: he must associate its floral sweetness with sexual fulfilment.

Adam has a “Pavlovian� reaction to Elena’s BO? Bribes her with cake to lessen the wrath when asking Elena to wash?

He frowns, seeing that I’m silent and trembling.
‘My perfume was weak; hers much stronger.� I say, my temper flaring.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, the usual wasteman chatting up yours truly in Sarf London would probably assume that a big phat slice of Marks & Spencer’s Strawberry Pavlova will get him into the lady’s knickers.
Nope, she’s allergic to stupid.
A merengue dessert will hardly cause a rash, but a moron makes her skin crawl.

A female of the human species displayed an unconditioned response: shoved cream cake into the courting male’s face. Requested a substantial meal of Shchavel Borscht with hard boiled egg

--Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, Russian Cookbook for Love, Romance, and mating behaviours: Humans, 1904

Ding-dong!

--Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, Neutral Triggers & Conditioned Responses: Canines, 1907

It is I! I make the best Byzantine shchi to entice a female.

--Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol, Dead Souls, Notebook (1841-1844), The Nose and other short stories

Right! She turned her nose up at his advances.

Idiot! I hate strawberries!

--Seraphima Vasilievna Karchevskaya Pavlova, Mrs, My Husband and I � Memoirs

The lady did not have a sweet tooth. Man didn’t do his research.

This is a cleverly written book.

So some of you, keen aspiring readers, please have your Oxford fictionary handy.

Just saying!

In the words of our hero:

Bloody pricey...But God, it is a nice smell. Don’t you like it?
And then he “squirts onto her wrist, playfully.�

Shhhh.. Doctors Pavlov & Chekhov are not amused.
Shall we shuffle the deck with these random quotes? One minute!
Plenty of time is a full minute for a skilled bullshit dealer to shuffle themselves out of a gloomy Russian medical clerical predicament.

Not tricky when Lily Samson gives treats:

All around us are dog walkers, their expensive breeds racing about, barking and sniffing each other’s genitals.
..thinking it all through those awful dog ornaments she hated... feisty feminist...she simply hates them.
Men are so stupid!

And then..

She took another whiff and yet another. She sniffed him up and down like a dog before realizing what it was: the aroma of a woman’s cunt.

--Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being”
― Morgen Mofó

“Lily Samson, The Switch, Outtakes & Quotes, shameless manipulation of.

A one minute reading test

I am dog

--Dog, Marina Lewycka, Two Caravans, 2007

Allergies disclaimer:

One must stress that this book is not intended for the unwashed masses:

I delayed showering after the last switch. I’ve created a Pavlovian response: he must associate its floral sweetness with sexual fulfilment.

Adam has a “Pavlovian� reaction to Elena’s BO? Bribes her with cake to lessen the wrath when asking Elena to wash?

He frowns, seeing that I’m silent and trembling.
‘My perfume was weak; hers much stronger.� I say, my temper flaring.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, the usual wasteman chatting up yours truly in Sarf London would probably assume that a big phat slice of Marks & Spencer’s Strawberry Pavlova will get him into the lady’s knickers.
Nope, she’s allergic to stupid.
A merengue dessert will hardly cause a rash, but a moron makes her skin crawl.

A female of the human species displayed an unconditioned response: shoved cream cake into the courting male’s face. Requested a substantial meal of Shchavel Borscht with hard boiled egg

--Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, Russian Cookbook for Love, Romance, and mating behaviours: Humans, 1904

Ding-dong!

--Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, Neutral Triggers & Conditioned Responses: Canines, 1907

It is I! I make the best Byzantine shchi to entice a female.

--Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol, Dead Souls, Notebook (1841-1844), The Nose and other short stories

Right! She turned her nose up at his advances:

Idiot! I hate strawberries!

--Seraphima Vasilievna Karchevskaya Pavlova, Mrs, My Husband and I � Memoirs

The lady did not have a sweet tooth. Man didn’t do his research.

This is a cleverly written book.

So some of you, keen aspiring readers, please have your Oxford fictionary handy.

Just saying!

In the words of our hero:

Bloody pricey...But God, it is a nice smell. Don’t you like it?
And then he “squirts onto her wrist, playfully.�

Shhhh.. Doctors Pavlov & Chekhov are not amused.
Shall we shuffle the deck with these random quotes? One minute!
Plenty of time is a full minute for a skilled bullshit dealer to shuffle themselves out of a gloomy Russian medical clerical predicament.

Not tricky when Lily Samson gives treats:

All around us are dog walkers, their expensive breeds racing about, barking and sniffing each other’s genitals.
..thinking it all through those awful dog ornaments she hated... feisty feminist...she simply hates them.
Men are so stupid!

And then..

She took another whiff and yet another. She sniffed him up and down like a dog before realizing what it was: the aroma of a woman’s cunt.

--Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Gratuitous use of one particular French vulgarism nested in the English language since the Norman conquest of 1066 is well demonstrated by this Milan Kundera translation. One has to wonder if the original 1984 edition contained the word “pizda�?

It is one of the few remaining words in the English language with a genuine power to shock.

--Scholar Germaine Greer

But of course a cunt, in French, as much as el coño in Spanish does not carry near enough as much uncouth weight as in English.

The English language doesn’t exist. It’s just badly pronounced French.

--Bernard Cerquiglini

Quelle conne! Un con reste un con!

--William Shakespeare, Last Words, Holy Trinity Church, Gropecunt Lane, Stratford upon Avon, April 23rd 1616”
― Morgen Mofó