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“Without warning, Wesley lifted me up onto the pool table. His hands moved to my shoulders, and a second later, I was flat on my back, staring up at him as he smirked. He shifted so that he was on the table too, leaning over me with his face only inches from mine.
“On the pool table?� I said, narrowing my eyes at him. “Seriously?�
“I can’t resist,� he said. “You know, you’re pretty sexy when you’re pissed at me, Duffy.�
First, I was struck by the irony of that statement. I mean, he used sexy and Duffy-implying I was fat and ugly-in the same sentence. The contrast was almost laughable. Almost.”
― Kody Keplinger, The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend

“A pool table is a dining room table, if you wait fifteen minutes after eating to go swimming on it. That's what I tell my ducklings, whom I'm coaching to qualify for The Olympics.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“The felt on my pool table is blue, so it looks like a pool. I like to shoot billiards with my duck sitting on the table, because swimming is better with no possibility of drowning.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Pool tables should have contours, like golf courses. For a novice billiards player, I have a pretty good swing.”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't