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“Your on the planet too. Why should James Bond have all the action, fun, money, and resort hotel living.”
― Paul Kyriazi, How to Live the James Bond Lifestyle: The Complete Seminar

“Snorkel through our vibrant menagerie of fish and marine life, each one of which has been clearly tagged and labeled for your convenience. Do you think the jokers at Sandals would do that for you? We’ve stocked our ivory reef with disparate creatures from all over the world, creating a lavishly unbalanced ecosystem that you have to see to believe. Often the things that nature never intended are the most fun to look at.”
― Colin Nissan

“Do you like flora and fauna? How about plants and animals? Because we have more of that beautiful crap than we know what to do with. Charmingly domesticated troops of monkeys swing freely throughout our orchid-laden property. You’re probably thinking that a lot of all-inclusive resorts have monkeys. True, but only one resort packs a monkey for each of their guests to take home. You’ll be showing off more than a tan to your friends, you’ll be showing off a gibbon.”
― Colin Nissan

“I confess I found it somewhat insipid when I last went....it was all so prosy - so bonnety - so whisty and teacuppy - you see, the adjectives for it do not even exist, and I must invent them.”
― Jude Morgan, An Accomplished Woman

“I stopped snowboarding as I started to recognize symptoms that corresponded with radiation sickness when at high altitude ski resorts.”
― Steven Magee

“Hospitals are resorts where sick people vacation.”
― Steven Magee

“Hospitals are the equivalent of resorts for sick people.”
― Steven Magee