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“The only talents he possessed were delusions of adequacy.”
― Jodi Taylor, The Nothing Girl

“Standing at the original Victorian counter was a man in a long black leather coat. His hair had been grown to counteract its unequivocal retreat from the top of his head, and was fashioned into a mean, frail ponytail that hung limply down his back. Blooms of acne highlighted his vampire-white skin.”
― Julia Stuart, The Tower, the Zoo, and the Tortoise

“I need you to get inside Wayne's head. I need someone who thinks a bit left field and in your own unpleasant way, Helen Walsh, you're a genius.

He had a point. I'm lazy and illogical. I've limited people skills. I'm easily bored and easily irritated. But I have moments of brilliance. They come and they go and I can't depend on them but they do happen.”
― Marian Keyes, The Mystery of Mercy Close

“People don't tend to employ me. I'm the wrong personality type. Or rather, people do tend to employ me for a short time and then they sack me. A film broker once told me, as she terminated my contract, that I have a misleading sort of face.

"You're pretty", she complained. "Your features are symmetrical and there was an article in Grazia that says human beings are programmed to find those with symmetrical features more pleasing to they eye. So this isn't my fault, I was simply responding to a biological imperative. You've even teeth, so when you smile, you look...sweet, I suppose. But you're not, are you?"

"I hope not," I said.

"You see, there you go again. You're a smart-arse and you've no ability to filter your thoughts---"

"And my thoughts are often abrasive."

"Exactly."

"I'll just get my brushes and sponges and leave."

"If you would.”
― Marian Keyes, The Mystery of Mercy Close

“We can go somewhere more private if you’d likeâ€� Buckâ€� I whisper softly in his ear, pulling back almost as slowly as the wicked grin spreads across my face. His perverse smile hides nothing. I have him now, hook, line and zipper.”
― Dennis Sharpe, Blood & Spirits

“Until the thirst for power parched his throat, he was a fearless and noble lord.”
― Lloyd Alexander, The Black Cauldron

“Six months ago when she first came up with the idea to kill Wilson, back when she was living in Memphis, she'd started going to church again. Since she was spending so much time thinking about sinister things, the least she could do, she reasoned, was to think about God and his love twice a week at church so that she wouldn't become a total sociopath. And rather than kill other people who were stand-ins for the person she really wanted to kill, like serial killers did, she'd be kind and generous to others and hone in on the one who deserved to die. And her plan had worked extremely well. Since she'd started planning to kill Wilson, and then decided to destroy his family instead, she felt no animosity toward anyone but him. Almost none at all!”
― Elizabeth Stuckey-French, The Revenge of the Radioactive Lady

“You know why I’ve survived in this job, year after year, lousy assignment after lousy assignment, with no counseling whatsoever? Because I have a keen appreciation of the ludicrous. Also because I have no choice.”
― Kage Baker

“Solomon counted out the coins very slowly and in silence, and then said, "Are you certain you weren't born Jewish?"

"No," said Dodger. "I've looked. I'm not, but thanks for the compliment.”
― Terry Pratchett

“Honor is kind of what you get when you weaponize manners”
― Jasper Fforde

“Being surrounded by toadies does not mean you are respected; it means you are the head toad.”
― Jo Goodman

“He was tall and slim and had dark hair and young women found him fascinating.

This sort of thing happens often enough, even with boys as mortal as dirt. There’s always one who learned how to brood early and often, and always girls who think they can heal him.

Eventually the girls learn better. Either the hurts are petty little things and they get tired of whining or the hurt’s so deep and wide that they drown in it. The smart ones heave themselves back to shore and the slower ones wake up married with a husband who lies around and suffers in their direction. It’s part of a dance as old as the jackalopes themselves.”
― Ursula Vernon

“The men were less interesting to look at, but nearly all had that air about them that I could sometimes detect in Will--of wealth and entitlement, a sense that life would settle itself agreeably around them.”
― Jojo Moyes, Me Before You

“When in Rome; burn it.”
― Iain M. Banks, The State of the Art

“Grandma Harken was sharpening her garden shears. Her hands slowed on the file and she said finally, “He’ll get in trouble and he’ll figure it out. Best to do it without us standing over him. It’s the only way anybody ever learns to clean up after themselves.”
― Ursula Vernon

“Al shook his head. "Honestly," he said. "How can you use such things?"
Mary Frances finished her thought. Use was an interesting word, the word for tools, talents, whores. She wanted to say, At least I'm using something, but she looked at his face, and she couldn't.”
― Ashley Warlick, The Arrangement

“Pandora, possessed by the unleashed contents of her box.”
― Salman Rushdie, Shame

“The man wore a black suit rather than a tuxedo, which made him both stand out from and blend into the crowd, a sore thumb on a broken hand.”
― Snowden Wright, American Pop