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| B01F9G1WDS
| 4.15
| 263
| Sep 12, 1985
| unknown
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really liked it
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I'm going off memory with this one since this book and many others went away several years ago. The read date is a wild stab in the dark, but I know I
I'm going off memory with this one since this book and many others went away several years ago. The read date is a wild stab in the dark, but I know I read it several times in middle school. However, the story remains fresh in my mind since I watch the show every October. It's a shame they don't show it on TV anymore. In fact, I believe holiday network specials for kids have just about gone the way of the dodo.[1] Getting to stay up on a school night to watch one was a real treat, and the excitement really ramped up as soon as you saw this: Oh, yeah. Bring it on! Anyway, my best friend up the street and I loved Garfield, and although we don't talk but maybe once a year or so now, and even then for just a few minutes over the phone, we still throw out old running jokes, and a few come from this. "If you don't exercise with Binky, you're gonna grow up to be... WORTHLESS!" Oh, so that's how I ended up this way... Coulda, shoulda, woulda. Woops! And I don't care what anybody says, this is one of the scariest images I ever saw in my childhood. You can see Garfield and Odie giving my exact reaction. That old man is on the top tier with Large Marge... ...the Ghostbusters library ghost... ...and the Wicked Witch of the West. (I know this is technically the Wicked Witch of the East, but it comes to the same thing. Ye Gods, that cackle!) As for the book, it's pretty much the show in comic strip form. The plot is there, as are most of the jokes, but it misses something without the music, such as the dramatic musical stab when you first see the old man sitting in the chair shown above. Also, some of the exchanges don't translate well to the page. Take this one for example: A still picture doesn't convey the humor of them staring at each other then looking down; motion is required. It also helps if you can imagine Lorenzo Music's voice for Garfield. I can manage that, but sound doesn't come off the page. One thing I do remember about the book that apparently stuck with me through the decades is that the skull on the hat was pretty active with its facial expressions. This happened occasionally in the show (as you can see in the picture above), but more so in the book. My favorite part was when Garfield fell in the river, and the skull and crossbones swam away as the hat sank. This is a fun Halloween read for kids if you can find it cheap at a used bookstore. The ones I saw online were averaging around $18. It's not worth that. There were a few around $9, but it's not worth that either. Good luck. [1]: Don't even get me started on the Apple assholes denying the networks and PBS the Peanuts holiday specials. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Oct 20, 1990
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Oct 20, 1990
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Oct 19, 2024
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Unknown Binding
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| B07N7V58VF
| 3.00
| 1
| unknown
| Jan 01, 1971
|
liked it
| SaaaaaaLUTE! I know. I'm just as stunned as you are to find that someone has put this comic book on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ. They didn't provide the cover SaaaaaaLUTE! I know. I'm just as stunned as you are to find that someone has put this comic book on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ. They didn't provide the cover, but I can take care of that. There we go, all better. Maybe a librarian will stumble upon this review and put the image where it belongs, but I doubt it. I can't imagine there's a line of them waiting to jump at this. Anyway, this was my mother's comic book, but it ended up in my collection. I have a few others that belonged to her when she was a girl, but I lost one of her Archie Comics in fifth grade, and she wasn't too happy about it. (I'm sure she would've preferred that I'd lost this one.) Well, it wasn't totally my fault. I took it to school, and my math teacher, the evil Mrs. Townes, took it from me. I was done with all the work she had assigned and was just waiting to go back to my regular class. I didn't see any problem with reading it until the period was over, but she swooped down on me like the old bat that she was and confiscated it. Not only that, she wouldn't give it back after school was over, and when I asked her about it the next day, she said she'd thrown it away! I explained that it was my mother's, but she didn't care and said I shouldn't have had it at school in the first place. Being a teacher, you'd think she'd be pleased that a student was reading anything, but noooo; comic books rot the brain. Needless to say, I often had her in mind whenever I felt the need to belt out "Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory of the Burning of the School." In fact, I think I'll sing it again now for old time's sake. Feel free to join me, but don't sing it around any kids lest they should accidentally sing it at their own school and find themselves under investigation by the FBI. What elicited nothing worse than a frown when I was a kid is now grounds for expulsion. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.Of course there are countless variations of these lyrics. Also, just to be clear, I don't advocate school shootings which is a sensitive topic nowadays. Nobody took this song seriously when I was a kid. Many of us sang it, and not a single one of us made a move to burn down the school or shoot anybody. It's a shame I feel compelled to point that out. But this isn't about school shootings, (though Junior Samples accidentally shoots Grandpa Jones in the butt in one section. He tells Junior "I wish you'd get yourself a flyswatter" in the next panel, hyuck, hyuck, hyuck.) Nor is this about bad teachers. It's about bad jokes, and there are plenty to be found in here. I chuckled at a few, but unfortunately it loses something without the delivery from the cast members on the show. There was even a Culhanes sketch in it. They were just doing the old "orange you glad I didn't say banana" knock-knock joke, but it was the dry delivery that made that skit amusing, and that doesn't translate well to the page if you're unfamiliar with it. This also included a couple of coloring and activity pages, a page to cut out pictures for a mobile, and a paper Lulu Roman finger puppet. (You cut two holes at the bottom, and put your fingers through them to serve as her legs.) Being made out of newspaper, I don't imagine any of those things lasted very long. This goes to show that this was never meant to be a collectors item but something kids could use for fun and games. Since this was only 15 cents according to the cover, I reckon it was money well spent. (This came out in 1971. It'd be $1.16 in 2024. Still money well spent.) Some of the advertisements were amusing, mostly peddling a bunch of cheap crap only kids would be interested in, but there was also a page with some rather expensive jewelry and this was on the back cover: A GED correspondence course. I thought this was both kind of neat and kind of sad. Sad that it's needed, neat that it's available. And check out the line at the top: "Second chance for high school drop-outs to get a diploma." This was back in the days when you could call a spade a spade and nobody got his nose out of joint. You'd never get away with saying "high school drop-outs" in such an advertisement today. I reckon that's the end of the review for this particular comic book, such as it was. The rest of this is me going on about the show. We watched Hee Haw kind of regularly at home until the mid/late 80s, though it was always on if we were visiting the grandparents which we did once or twice a month. When RFD started showing reruns a decade or so ago, my mother and I never missed an episode. We'd usually watch it separately and text back and forth during the show, but we'd watch it together at her house about once a month. RFD did it right: one episode a week, though it was on Sunday nights instead of Saturday. A few years ago, Comcast stopped carrying RFD so it was easy to switch to Verizon Fios when they came soliciting our business. Then a few months after we got it, Fios got rid of it too and I was in a quandary since mama still got it with her satellite. But RFD had a live stream thing if you got a subscription which I did at $100 a year. This probably makes me the only fool in the world who paid $100 a year just to watch Hee Haw once a week. Watching it on the computer is no fun, so I got an HDMI cord to run it to the TV, and life was good once again. Then RFD lost the rights to the show. Circle TV took it over, and they screwed the whole thing up. They didn't run episodes in order, showed them at odd times during the weekdays, and, well, it just wasn't any fun anymore. Besides, mama didn't get that channel. Then Circle TV went off the air, and RFD got it back, but I haven't gotten a new subscription. It's on Saturday nights now which isn't as convenient, and they're in the 1980s seasons now, and those episodes aren't as good as the ones from the 70s, though I still enjoy them. I'm still thinking about getting it, though. Hee Haw was all music, sketches, and jokes. Some of the music was eh, and some of it downright torturous, but the rest could get pretty phenomenal. I never was a Buck Owens fan, and he always had at least one solo song on there, but mama and I enjoyed making fun of him and some of his mannerisms. I also gathered that grandma thought he was rather unattractive when one time she said "if only you didn't have to look at him." However, Roy Clark could play just about any stringed instrument you put in his hands, and he was one of the at the time. (Don't mind the dancing pigs, another Hee Haw staple, in the link.) They always had a couple of musical guests on, and I learned about a lot of great songs from watching the show. I also always enjoyed and whenever they had a on. As for the jokes and sketches, I'll leave you with a few memorable ones. These are stupid. I mean, really stupid. But, corny humor was the whole point of the show. You either love it or you hate it, and I fall solidly in the "love it" camp. If you like dad jokes, read on and enjoy. If dad jokes make you want to kick a grizzly bear in the niblets so it will put you out of your misery, then proceed with caution. First up is Don Herron as Charlie Farquharson. He did the K-O-R-N news which was filled with double meanings, and you had to listen close to follow it. Forgive the misspellings; they come with the character and his patois. Every guvmint estimit incloods an extry estimit of how much more it's gonna cost than yer ferst estimit. That's how come they always leeve this big deficit on the floor of yer House. And a deficit is what you've got wen you haven't got as much as if you jist had nothin'. If we tried any of this, we'd end up in jail. But the guvmint gits rid of its detts by Nashnullizing them. That's like the alkyholick who solved his problem by poring the booze in all of his bottles into one big container. Himself. Don continued to do the character in stage shows after Hee Haw went off the air. Here's what he had to say about Bill Clinton's Monica Lewinsky affair: "He deified yer 11th Commandment - Thou shalt not put thy rod before thy staff." Archie's barbershop: Howdy there, Roy. Would you like a shampoo? No, when I take a poo, I want the real thing. Samples Sales: Come see me at Junior Samples Used Car Sales, I'll take you for the ride of your life. You'll love it here so much, you'll be coming back with your friends. In fact, my last customer came right back here with the sheriff. Remember, the number to call is BR-549. Advice to the Lovelorn: If a man breaks a date, it's because he has to. If a woman breaks a date, it's because she has two. The joke fence: (This one is a two-fer because I just can't help myself.) I crossed a duck with some seawater. What'd you get? Some saltine QUACKERS! Did you hear about the silkworm race? No, what happened? It ended in a tie. (I dropped that one at the lunch table at work one day, and the boss almost fired me. Luckily it was tax season when job security is really high.) The Moonshiners: You mean Charlie has built a still in the back of his car? Yep. He's just driving himself to drink. (These always featured the Hee Haw Honeys and their legs displayed to maximum advantage in the background.) Crying Harry King Cole: My wife got some hot pants, but her pilot light's gone out. The Gossip Girls: Now we're not ones to go around spreading rumors. No, really we're just not the gossipy kind. You'll never hear one of us repeating gossip, So you better be sure and listen close the first time. That Lucy Jones is more than mean and ugly. She's the biggest liar in all of this creation. You know, I never figured she was two-faced, Cause if she was, she wouldn't be wearing that one. Gloom, despair, and agony on me: Gloom, despair, and agony on me. Deep, dark depression; excessive misery. If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. Gloom, despair, and agony on me. We figured she was rich, loaded to the hilt, And we figured she had class like the Vanderbilts, ‘Cause we had heard for years how she was so well reared. How was we to know they meant the way she was built. Hey, Grandpa, what's for supper: HEY, GRANDPA! WHAT'S FOR SUPPER? Meatloaf hot, and I made a lot; New red taters smashed in the pot. Cabbage cooked in bacon drippins, And a 14 layer chocolate cake with coffee for sippin. YUM, YUM! Pfft, you were gone: You drank and caroused like there was no tomorrow, Your morals was loose as the tie ’round my neck; Last Saturday night when we went to the square dance The caller cried “Hoedownâ€� and you hit the deck! Where, oh where, are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found true love, You met another, and Pfft! you was gone. Pickin' and grinnin': Say, Roy, did I ever tell you my uncle's a conductor? No, Buck. Railroad, or musical? Electrical. The judge gave him the chair. The Naggers: Some hot words passed between the Naggers when Ida Lee threw Laverne's alphabet soup in his face. (Ronnie Stoneman as Ida Lee Nagger used to scare me as a kid, ha ha.) The store: I'm so mad at that Gordy down at the store. He sold me a girdle three sizes too small, and when I told him about it he just told me to pull myself together. Lulu and Junior Samples were hired for the fat jokes. Be it right or wrong, I find them funny. I sometimes wonder how the actors/actresses in those roles dealt with it because sometimes even I would go "Wow, poor Lulu." Here's what she had to say about it: "I knew the whole time when I was on Hee Haw that I was the 'fat character,' the fluffy girl who would do silly things. The people I worked with were never unkind to me. They were a great cast." I reckon that makes all the difference. There's humor and there's cruelty. Sometimes the line between the two is thin, and I guess everyone puts it in a different place. After all, some people have no sense of humor at all, but I usually just roll my eyes and go on my merry way when they start up with their righteous indignation. The cornfield: Hey Junior, I heard you got a job moonlighting at the lingerie store. What are you doing? I'm a nightie watchman. The all jug band: There's fancy music everywhere, Heard throughout the land. From here to there, none can compare, To Hee Haw's All-Jug Band. Since we started playing, We practice faithfully. And now on Archie's birthday, We can almost play on key. Just random jokes and quips: What did Doc Campbell say when you told him about losing your hair? He said not to worry; it would all come out alright. This just scratches the surface, but I reckon that's enough. Actually, it's probably more than enough. Watch the show if you get a chance. There's no need to seek out the comic book series. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Sep 08, 2024
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Sep 08, 2024
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Sep 08, 2024
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Comic
| ||||||||||||||||
| 0060256745
| 9780060256746
| B000713I88
| 4.36
| 467,253
| Oct 07, 1981
| 1981
|
really liked it
|
We should consider nine-year-old Pierce's opinion for this when assigning a rating. Or maybe that should be nine-year-old Jason. People didn't start r
We should consider nine-year-old Pierce's opinion for this when assigning a rating. Or maybe that should be nine-year-old Jason. People didn't start referring to me by my surname until middle school. Anyway, whaddya think, boy? Hi! Four stars. Well, that's good. 45-year-old Pierce also gives it four stars, or perhaps 3.5 rounded up, though for different reasons. I can't remember when I first read this, but I know it was a hit with my fourth grade class, and I took it with me to YMCA day camp several times during the summer. I think it was in 1988, though it could've been 1987. My friends and I all thought it was chuckalicious, and we'd read our faves to each other while we laughed like loons. Apparently this book is occasionally banned. I'm not against banning books in schools. There is plenty of stuff that shouldn't be in elementary school libraries because most children's minds aren't ready for it. (E.g. anything from Stephen King except The Eyes of the Dragon and maybe Charlie the Choo Choo.) You can have more books in middle school libraries and still more in high schools, but it starts to get dicey depending upon whom you ask. Outright pornography and smut which serves no other purpose than to help you out while you're pulling your pud or pushing your pudenda ought not to be there. However, if a book serves a greater literary purpose but has some explicit scenes (e.g. Lady Chatterly's Lover which I've never read, and probably never will because the only other D.H. Lawrence book I've read bored me to catatonia), then it should totally be allowed in a high school. I guess everyone draws the line in a different place, but I can't get behind banning this book at any age. Apparently it encourages bad behavior among kids with gems like this: How Not to Have to Dry the Dishes: If you have to dry the dishes (Such an awful, boring chore) If you have to dry the dishes (‘Stead of going to the store) If you have to dry the dishes And you drop one on the floor â€� Maybe they won’t let you Dry the dishes anymore. Ummm... I read this, saw the humor in it, still had to dry dishes, and had sense enough not to break them on purpose. For those who have kids that might try this breaking thing, that kind of behavior is easily corrected with a talking-to, or a punishment, or a spanking if those don't work. My sister and I were allowed to watch the Three Stooges when we were children, but my parents were there to tell us not to do the stuff they do because someone could get hurt. Talk to your kids and everything will be okay. The book was also challenged for morbid humor (though the challengers didn't see any humor, and that's usually how that goes with them). Some of the poems I list below provide examples of that. Anyway, here are a few for your enjoyment. The first few are ones I loved as a kid and still appreciate as an adult. The Sitter: Mrs. McTwitter the baby-sitter, I think she's a little bit crazy. She thinks a baby-sitter's supposed To sit upon the baby. Prayer of the Selfish Child: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my toys to break. So none of the other kids can use 'em... Amen. Fancy Dive: The fanciest dive that was ever dove Was done by Melissa of Coconut Grove. She bounced on the board and flew into the air With a twist of her head and a twirl of her hair. She did thirty-four jackknives, backflipped and spun, Quadruple gainered, and reached for the sun, And then somersaulted nine times and a quarter- And looked down and saw that the pool had no water. This next one might've been my favorite back in the long ago. Shel says it was inspired by Abbott and Costello. I had no idea who they were at the time, but there's no doubt he's referring to their which is a scream. The Meehoo with an Exactlywatt: Knock knock! Who's there? Me! Me who? That's right! What's right? Meehoo! That's what I want to know! What's what you want to know? Me who? Yes, exactly! Exactly what? Yes, I have an Exactlywatt on a chain! Exactly what on a chain? Yes! Yes what? No, Exactlywatt! That's what I want to know! I told you--Exactlywatt! Exactly what? Yes! Yes what? Yes, it's with me! What's with you? Exactlywatt--that's what's with me. Me who? Yes! Go away! Knock knock... I always liked the idea of being able to . It's Hot!: ±õ³Ù’s hot! I can’t get cool, I’ve drunk a quart of lemonade. I think I’ll take my shoes off And sit around in the shade. ±õ³Ù’s hot! My back is sticky. The sweat rolls down my chin. I think I’ll take my clothes off And sit around in my skin. ±õ³Ù’s hot! I’ve tried with ’lectric fans, And pools and ice cream cones. I think I’ll take my skin off And sit around in my bones. ±õ³Ù’s still hot! But you should remove your skin with caution because doing such a thing is can be risky. Skin Stealer: This evening I unzipped my skin And carefully unscrewed my head, Exactly as I always do When I prepare myself for bed. And while I slept a coo-coo came As naked as could be And put on the skin And screwed on the head That once belonged to me. Now wearing my feet He runs through the street In a most disgraceful way. Doinâ€� things and sayinâ€� things I’d never do or say, Ticklinâ€� the children And kickinâ€� the men And Dancinâ€� the ladies away. So if he makes your bright eyes cry Or makes your poor head spin, That scoundrel you see Is not really me He’s the coo-coo Who’s wearing my skin. Some of his poems involve dark humor. I don't know if I picked up on it in my youth, but I certainly noticed them this time. The first one is a little weird in another way as well, but it's about stuff you only pick up on in adulthood. Ticklish Tom: Did you hear 'bout Ticklish Tom? He got tickled by his mom. Wiggled and giggled and fell on the floor, Laughed and rolled right out the door. All the way to school and then He got tickled by his friends. Laughed till he fell off his stool, Laughed and rolled right out of school Down the stairs and finally stopped Till he got tickled by a cop. And all the more that he kept gigglin', All the more folks kept ticklin'. He shrieked and screamed and rolled around, Laughed his way right out of town. Through the country down the road, He got tickled by a toad. Past the mountains across the plain, Tickled by the falling rain, Tickled by the soft brown grass, Tickled by the clouds that passed. Giggling, rolling on his back He rolled on the railroad track. Rumble, rumble, whistle, roar- Tom ain't ticklish any more. Rockabye: Rockabye baby, in the treetop. Don't you know a treetop Is no safe place to rock? And who put you up there, And your cradle too? Baby, I think someone down here's Got it in for you. I only noticed this next one because my dad told my that two of my aunts would be visiting us at the end of May and will be staying, on and off, until September or so... I like my aunts... I would like to continue liking my aunts... but that's going to be a tall order if they're going to be here for four or five months. Anyway, this poem just happened to be in the section I read on the day he gave me the news. I may be looking for one of these in the pet stores in a couple of months... Anteater: "A genuine anteater," The pet man told my dad. Turned out, it was an aunt eater, And now my uncle's mad! This last one just made me think of Claude Strawberry which was a recurring skit on Hee Haw. It sounds exactly like his gawdawful poetry which was always a hoot. Plus, he used a feather pen, and thus was the association cemented in place. Hitting: Use a log to hit a hog. Use a twig to hit a pig. Use a rake to hit a snake. Use a swatter to hit an otter. Use a ski to hit a bee. And use a feather when you hit me. And there you have it. I usually hate poetry, but most of these are fun poems, and that makes a lot of difference. Plus, Shel's illustrations are great. Even my nine-year-old self agrees that this would be a three star book at best without those. Maybe even 2.5. So, be sure to read this from the book so you can see the pictures because they add a lot. And do your kids a favor and let them read it too. ...more |
Notes are private!
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2
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Apr 24, 2024
Jul 10, 1988
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May 03, 2024
Jul 15, 1988
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Apr 24, 2024
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Hardcover
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| 0028604199
| 9780028604190
| B000O94PSU
| 3.67
| 1,878
| Jan 01, 1995
| Jan 01, 1995
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liked it
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Read in this omnibus. Still entertaining, but not quite as much as the first book. Maybe I wasn't in the mood at the time I read them, or maybe I had g Read in this omnibus. Still entertaining, but not quite as much as the first book. Maybe I wasn't in the mood at the time I read them, or maybe I had gotten my fill with the first book; I'm not sure. Also, I read several late at night when I was bedding down and wanted something short, and I was tired. That could be a factor. I enjoyed the last few I finished up this afternoon while I was awake more than the ones I read when I was fatigued. (I just wanted to finish the book so I could put something else in the bedtime spot by the bed.) Like with the other stories, these are familiar tales with a modern, progressive twist. Here's what we've got: "A Politically Correct Alphabet:" Eh, whatever. Z is for Zombie, the differently dead. Ha ha. "Hansel and Gretel:" H&G find a shack made of healthy snacks owned by a Wiccan who takes them in and trains them in her arts. Eventually they confront the woodcutter father who wants to deforest the area, something about Wicca spells, daddy's shack turning to candy, the lawyers turning into mice, devouring, etc. "The Ant and the Grasshopper:" Ode to communism brought about by the IRS. "The Princess and the Pea:" The princess can't sleep not because she's uncomfortable on the bed, but because she's disgusted at the amount of eiderdown feathers stolen from poor, unsuspecting geese; the 20 mattresses that could've been shared with the peasants in the castle; and the pea which could've been fed to somebody in this world of wasted food. "The Little Mer-Persun:" The mermaid (excuse me; mer-persun) refuses to be a trophy wife for the man she rescued, so he has himself turned into a sea creature, though due to government red-tape and incompetence, he becomes half prawn. Luckily mer-persun is not speciesist, and they live happily ever after defending the ecosystem against the evil humans. "The Tortoise and the Hare:" The hare loses by stopping to give interviews with the news media instead of taking a nap. Several of the citizens riot and tear up the town to celebrate. The tortoise was on steroids, but was still slow as the steam rising off of dog shit on a cold January morning. Everyone who didn't riot before riots in protest. "Puss in Boots:" Cat is the campaign manager for the third son who inherits him. They do the Joe Biden plan in which he's given a script to follow as best he can, and then hide him away the rest of the time. All goes well as long as Puss does the main talking and son sticks to the script and doesn't try to speak for himself. In this way they win the Senate seat, but alas, the son goes off script at the victory speech, everyone finds out he has the acumen of John Fetterman, and that's the end of that. "Sleeping Persun of Better-Than-Average Attractiveness:" Poor prince thinks Sleeping Beauty and all the denizens of the castle are simply practicing top-notch meditation techniques, tries to join them, accidentally awakens SB who wants to marry him since she thinks she "can't be complete without a man" due to a curse put upon her when she was born. "The City Mouse and the Suburban Mouse:" Country bumpkin mouse visits the big city, discovers he's gay, and "comes out of the wainscotting." ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Apr 2023
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Aug 12, 2023
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Jan 01, 2023
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Paperback
| ||||||||||||||
| 002542730X
| 9780025427303
| 002542730X
| 3.63
| 8,201
| 1994
| Apr 07, 1994
|
really liked it
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Read in this omnibus. 3.5 stars rounded up to four. This was my bedtime book for when the real book I was reading was too much to handle, and I guess t Read in this omnibus. 3.5 stars rounded up to four. This was my bedtime book for when the real book I was reading was too much to handle, and I guess that's appropriate since these are bedtime stories, but they don't have to be read at bedtime. They were pretty fun, but I have to be in the right mood to enjoy them properly. I could appreciate him making fun of all the PC crap (which is what I assume he's doing, though it's possible he's being serious), or I could get sad that it exists at all and that things really have gotten so ridiculous. This was written almost 30 years ago when a lot of the scenarios he presented were still outlandish, but that's not the case anymore. I think a quick blurb will suffice for each, though that's a tall order since I read some of these over two months ago. I'll do the best I can. Spoilers abound, so proceed with caution. "Little Red Riding Hood:" No good deed goes unpunished. Woodsman who tries to rescue Red Riding Hood from being devoured by the big, bad wolf is put in his place by Riding Hood herself for assuming womyn (sic) and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man. "The Emperor's New Clothes:" The Emperor and his entourage insist that everyone share in his delusion that he's actually wearing clothes while he's actually naked. The kid who outs him is told he's wrong and that the Emp is merely endorsing a clothing-optional lifestyle, then everyone strips and lives nakedly ever after. I couldn't help but think about the current transgender thing going on while reading this. "The Three Little Pigs:" The pigs fight the urban sprawl machine and eminent domain for which the wolf is the wrecking ball. This was good, and all, but I still prefer the (though they were still Green Jello when it was first released.) "Rumpelstiltskin:" Esmeralda doesn't have to negotiate with anyone who would interfere with her reproductive rights whether it be her father who wants to marry her off, or Rumpelstiltskin who wants her first born child. "The Three Codependent Goats Gruff:" The goats realize they look tasty and try to feed themselves to the troll who won't have any of it; he's just being selfish because he's hungry. They fight and all fall off the bridge feeling properly guilty for putting their antagonist in a moral dilemma. "Rapunzel:" Rapunzel learns not to exploit her musical skill for cash. "Cinderella:" All the men kill each other over Cinderella, and the womyn live happily ever after without any men around. "Goldilocks:" The three bears were vegetarians but decided to try something new with Goldilocks. "Snow White:" Impotent prince visits the seven dwarfs where they find Snow White and the queen (who had ironed out their differences) comatose due to absentmindedly eating the poison apple, and suddenly the prince is impotent no more once he sees Snow White, and he decides to try what he assumes is some necrophilia... It doesn't happen because the womyn awaken at that moment, but still, what the blue fuck? "Chicken Little:" Over-the-top legal action is explored in this with Chicken Little and friends trying to find someone to sue for CL getting conked on the head by a piece of the sky, though they ultimately end up sued by the deceased Foxy Loxy's family for entrapment, reckless endangerment, etc. "The Frog Prince:" The frog turns out to be a real estate developer instead of a prince, and the princess drowns him, ha ha. "Jack and the Beanstalk:" Poor Jack winds up a part of the giant's commune. "The Pied Piper of Hamelin:" Maybe my favorite. The piper gets stiffed on the bill after leading all the trailer park denizens out of town, so he plays a new tune and turns all the town's children into capitalists which leaves the progressive community aghast. I love happy endings. ...more |
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| 9780765108678
| 0765108674
| 3.97
| 506
| 1995
| Jan 01, 1998
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really liked it
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3.5 stars rounded up to four. This is a collection of three other books. Links go to my reviews. I'm assuming these are all satire. Some reviews on her 3.5 stars rounded up to four. This is a collection of three other books. Links go to my reviews. I'm assuming these are all satire. Some reviews on here seem to take the stories seriously. I felt Garner was poking fun at PCism by exposing how ridiculous it is, but I've been wrong before. After all, I have met people whose views truly were this whacko, so who knows? Politically Correct Bedtime Stories: ★★★★� (3.5 rounded up) Once Upon a More Enlightened Time: More Politically Correct Bedtime Stories: ★★★✰� Politically Correct Holiday Stories: For an Enlightened Yuletide Season: ★★★★� ...more |
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| 1605977276
| 9781605977270
| 1605977276
| 4.02
| 48,063
| 1729
| Jul 04, 2008
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really liked it
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Wow. This is one of the best examples of satire I've ever seen, and it was a hoot. Logically, you can't argue with the proposal; it's a win-win for ev
Wow. This is one of the best examples of satire I've ever seen, and it was a hoot. Logically, you can't argue with the proposal; it's a win-win for everybody involved, at least from a financial standpoint, and it's certainly more economical than the French's plan to deal with their excess poor before that pesky revolution mucked everything up. PULL! Unfortunately, you have to deal with the human factor. You are murdering children, after all, and that tends to hurt people's feelings, but Swift manages to get the last word in there too (multiple sics, not gonna bother to point them out): I desire those politicians who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold to attempt an answer, that they will first ask the parents of these mortals, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness to have been sold for food at a year old, in the manner I prescribe, and thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes, as they have since gone through, by the oppression of landlords, the impossibility of paying rent without money or trade, the want of common sustenance, with neither house nor clothes to cover them from the inclemencies of the weather, and the most inevitable prospect of intailing the like, or greater miseries, upon their breed for ever.This is a rather dark way of looking at things, but conditions for the poor in Ireland in 1729 were pretty damn bad. Stephen King tells us through Jud Crandall that "sometimes, dead is better." Of course he was pitting that against being a wendigo possessed former corpse, so it doesn't fully apply here when put in context... Let me try again. Mark Twain tells us "favored above all kings and emperors is the stillborn child," and "all people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter & Lazarus the worst." That's a little closer to the mark... heh... even if he's applying it to the entire human race and not just those that are constantly suffering. But if your life is going to be nothing but misery, then why would you want to live? Your meat may as well sate another's hunger and your skin provide them with the latest fashion. Hell, the Indians used to wear fingers and toes on their belts and hatbands, so it's not that unusual. If you can't be joyful yourself, give of yourself to bring joy to others. ...more |
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Dec 05, 2021
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Dec 05, 2021
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Dec 05, 2021
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| 9780590457170
| 0590457179
| 4.09
| 1,158
| Nov 1992
| Jan 01, 1992
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liked it
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Three stars, but it's not quite as high a three star as the first book. In fact, I could practically copy/paste the first paragraph from that review h
Three stars, but it's not quite as high a three star as the first book. In fact, I could practically copy/paste the first paragraph from that review here because it has the same issues, and the movie pretty much improves on everything found in the book. That being the case, I'm just going to talk about the movies from here on out. I confess that Home Alone is the better movie overall, but Home Alone 2 has some of the best scenes for both movies. From the time Kevin gets to New York until he starts roughing up the bad guys is great. Everything before is just a rehash of the same jokes from the first movie, and everything after when he's in the house is too over the top for me to enjoy. They crossed a line with the slapstick in part two that they didn't cross in part one. It goes from fun to cartoonishly inane. As for the part in the middle that I like so much, Tim Curry's performance makes the concierge and hotel scenes work. They kind of fall flat in text. Or at least they're not as good, but let's be honest: Tim Curry's bits are a tough act to follow. Then there's John Williams' soundtrack which you obviously can't hear in the book. It adds so much to the movie that it can't be overstated. I've always considered the Home Alone 2 soundtrack to be one of his most underrated treasures, but the competition is pretty stiff. It's not underrated because people think it's no good, but it's in a crowded field of gems, many of which are admittedly better. Several themes from nine Star Wars movies, three Harry Potter flicks, four Indiana Jones films already provide enough material for several "best of" albums. Add in Superman, Jurassic Park, Jaws, E.T., Schindler's List, Hook, the theme for the 1996 Olympics... I better quit. I could sing the man's praises for days. He's been nominated for an Oscar 52 times, and won five. But 52 nominations! Anyway, the Home Alone soundtrack by itself is fantastic, but not only does Home Alone 2 take the existing themes and perfect them, it adds two that often send me into paroxysms of ecstasy when I hear them. and are both flawless, musical perfection. The melodies. The orchestrations. The choruses. Okay, I confess the lyrics for "Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas" aren't exactly flawless when it's listened to on its own, but they work perfectly in the context of the movie. Regardless of the words, the chorus nails it with their vocal prowess. And like the sound the Grinch once heard, both songs start in low and start to grow, adding an instrument here, a section there, until it swells into a mass of beautiful, wonderful, blended heavenly noise, noise, noise that makes you wanna... Thanks. I needed that. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Home Alone 2. This scratched my December Christmas reading itch, and I enjoyed it, but if you're in it for the story, then just watch the movie. Also watch this fun showing Kevin in the later years. ...more |
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Dec 23, 2021
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Nov 26, 2021
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| 0590446681
| 9780590446686
| 0590446681
| 3.98
| 470
| 1990
| Jan 01, 1991
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liked it
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This is not great literature, but I'm also not the target audience. I think kids would really enjoy this provided they're not familiar with the movie,
This is not great literature, but I'm also not the target audience. I think kids would really enjoy this provided they're not familiar with the movie, but good luck finding one of those. This is based on the screenplay for the movie. A lot of improvements were made between the time that was written and the movie filmed, but the story is basically the same. The problem is that a story that involves a lot of slapstick works better in a visual format, and that's what you have here. Being a kids' book, the author can't add a lot of nuance for characterization, and whatnot, so he's kind of shackled. Add in the fantastic cast and John Williams' score, and the book doesn't have a chance in this contest. That doesn't mean I didn't like it; it just means the movie is better, and would be better even if the movie wasn't all that great, but it is great, so it's an impossible act to follow, and there you have it. I just got this book a week or two ago, but my first introduction to its existence was in my seventh grade reading class. The teacher was going over entries in our monthly Arrow or Scholastic book catalog with us, came to this one, and read it with all the sarcasm she could muster and inserted a few snide comments. It was apparent to us that she thought the story was completely ridiculous and that we could do better by picking other books to purchase, yet her spiel was rather hilarious... I guess you had to be there. Since there are only 372 ratings on here right now (11/30/21), I'm willing to bet Scholastic didn't sell a whole lot of these, or that it wasn't a hit in book form, and that opinions may have been in line with those of my teacher's. Anyway, the novelization does fill in a couple of plot holes, though. I always wondered why Kevin didn't just call the cops when he realized robbers were going to be coming after him. Turns out he thought about it, but was concerned they were going to arrest him for accidentally stealing the toothbrush earlier, and they were just laying in wait for him all over the neighborhood. I'll say he's a criminal, little son of a bitch has my coat! I got that exact coat for Christmas in sixth grade in 1989, a year before the movie came out, so that makes me a trendsetter, thank you very much, and it's probably my favorite coat I've ever owned. It was awesome because the zipper went all the way up so the coat could cover your mouth and nose, and wasn't that just great at the bus stop in January?! It was quite tough and rugged, warm as could be, had an awesome plaid lining (with a matching scarf), tons of pockets all over the place with a couple even on the inside, and the hood unzipped down the middle so it could open up! I have no idea what the purpose of that last feature was, but it was cool. Mama was pretty smart about it too. It was a tad big the first year, but just right for seventh and maybe eighth grade, so I think I got three winters out of it. Plus, when it was a bit big, I could make my right arm disappear into the sleeve, spread my fingers to make the opening perfectly round, and suddenly I had an arm cannon which I used to demolish trees, bushes, passing cars, joggers, and anything else my 11-year-old self thought needed to be blown to hell on my way to the bus stop, or wherever. Couple that with the zipper that gave me a face shield over my mouth, and I was a frickin' Transformer! The coat isn't mentioned in detail in the book, so that alone makes the movie better. Anyway, another thing I always wondered about was how Kevin cleaned the house. He doesn't make anywhere near as big a mess as he does in the movie, but still, that's some damn impressive cleaning for a seven-year-old (his age in the book) to do in just a couple of hours. I'd love to learn how he got the tar off the basement steps, and ice off the outdoor steps. I suppose everything else was doable, though those feathers would've been a pain, and I'm sure he just flat-out ruined the front door knob with the blow torch (which is what he used in book instead of a charcoal starter). And with all that cleaning, why didn't he find the gold tooth? He obviously swept and vacuumed. And I just realized I'm now the same age John Candy was when he passed away... Bizarre. Finally, in case you missed it, here's Macaulay Culkin's from a couple of years ago. I reckon defending the house would've been much easier had he had that back then, though it wouldn't be anywhere near as much fun. Check out this book only if you feel like trying to find it, need some Christmas reading for December, and are a big fan of the movie which is the case for me. Hell, I have the bloody Lego McCallister house playset! Which I've incorporated into my holiday decorating this year, though I modified it to fit. (The basement part on the side is supposed to go on the back of the house). Open it up, and reenact just about any scene you want in the house. The amount of detail that went into this set is damn impressive. The floors even separate to make play easier, but since my camera sucks, just google it to see the details if you're interested. The minifigs even made it onto this year's December calendar with Santa, Scrooge, Bob Cratchit, and Tiny Tim. I'll also be crocheting a couple of Wet Bandit heads as soon as I can figure out what the hell the woman who made the pattern is saying in a couple of spots. (English doesn't seem to be her first language, and I suspect I'll have to do some trial and error or make up my own plan for Marv's hair and beard, because what she's telling me to do makes no sense at all). Update, 2/7/22: Here they are. And ignore the Lego Probe Droid; he was just Kodak crashing. So, yeah, I'm probably a fan. If the conditions I mention above don't apply, skip this book and just watch the movie. And this clip about how the whole thing could've gone for Kevin. Keep the change, ya filthy animal. ...more |
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Nov 30, 2021
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Paperback
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| 1406571407
| 9781406571400
| 1406571407
| 3.18
| 392
| 1894
| Feb 06, 2009
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really liked it
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Read in the Barnes & Noble Classics edition which includes the main story Pudd'nhead Wilson. This was an absolute hoot. I guess it can technically be c Read in the Barnes & Noble Classics edition which includes the main story Pudd'nhead Wilson. This was an absolute hoot. I guess it can technically be called a companion piece to Pudd'nhead Wilson, but it's so different in tone that it doesn't really fit. Wilson is a tragedy with wryly comic elements whereas Twins is pure absurdity. When Twain started this, he wanted to do a story about conjoined twins. As he wrote, the characters which eventually ended up in Wilson started to take center stage, while the twins and their story got shoved further and further into the background, and he just couldn't get the two to work together which is kind of ironic considering conjoined twins have no choice but to work together or perish. As a result, his entire story was perishing. He was going to have the characters from the twins story throw themselves down a well because he didn't know what the hell else to do with them, but he eventually discovered they were two separate stories trying to force themselves together, so he excised the parts concerning the twins that didn't further the Wilson action, and that's how we come to have this gem. I would not suggest reading this without reading Wilson first, or you're apt to be confused and wonder why it's so sloppy. That's because he didn't flesh out the parts that the twins played in Wilson since he had already put those parts in that book. Instead he either gives us a brief summary of those events so the next chapter or section would make sense, or just flat out says something like "...and chapter 11 of Pudd'nhead Wilson follows." The idea for this came from a pair of real Italian conjoined twins who were touring America in a freak show, Giacomo and Giovanni Battista Tocci, shown here: However, Twain describes them like so: This allows him to have loads of fun with confusing descriptions from the people who meet them, and he puts them in a lot of absurd situations which are a joy to read. I know this was based on someone (or a couple of people) who had a physical deformity (of physical deformities), and while it might not be in line with 21st century sensibilities, I found this whole thing hilarious and even had tears in my eyes at some points, be it right or be it wrong. I'll cite just one example since I don't want to give too much away. An assault and battery trial got derailed because (view spoiler)[the prosecution couldn't prove which twin actually kicked the plaintiff. They couldn't even decide if it was one kick or two since they couldn't figure whether or not it were two people kicking at once. (hide spoiler)] Twain also excoriates small town America as only he can, and various professions get raked across the coals as well. If all you want is about 50 pages of Twain's sense of humor on full display, then you could read this without reading Wilson. Anyone looking for a complete and polished story should leave this alone entirely. Anyone with desires falling between those two extremes should start with Wilson before hitting this. ...more |
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| 0553211587
| 9780553211580
| 0553211587
| 3.75
| 19,047
| May 10, 1893
| 1984
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really liked it
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Read in the Barnes & Noble Classics edition which includes the complement story Those Extraordinary Twins. This was great! I'm confused about how I'm s Read in the Barnes & Noble Classics edition which includes the complement story Those Extraordinary Twins. This was great! I'm confused about how I'm supposed to feel about it, but that's Mark Twain for you. Am I supposed to feel bad for some people, or am I supposed to laugh at it? I reckon I felt bad at some parts and just shook my head. And I definitely laughed. Maybe I was supposed to do both. This takes place in antebellum Missouri, and Twain shows us the prejudices of the day against slaves in his patented absurd and ridiculous manner. However, he also makes the two main slave characters so detestable that you're just fine with any comeuppance they might get along the way. He takes the worst traits of the black race as perceived by many at that time and puts them into these characters. (In today's woke world, I feel compelled point out that such views do not align with my own, hence the italics. It's a shame so many people are so hypersensitive and just looking for something to bitch about that one must put such a disclaimer in his own work. I didn't say what you might have thought I said, so calm down.) He also showcases the idiocy of small-town white people pretty good. (No C.Y.A. disclaimer or explanatory italics needed here since hating honkies is currently in vogue and perfectly permissible.) Sometimes you can't tell if Twain is being serious or giving it the tongue-in-cheek lampoon treatment, but I suspect it's a mix of both, sometimes all at once, and that takes talent. This has Twain's comic style, but it's a little darker and more pessimistic than other things I've read of his, and the snark factor is increased which is understandable since Twain was in a pretty low place when he wrote it due to financial difficulties and other matters. But that doesn't mean that I still didn't find parts of it hilarious, mostly due to absurdities. Sometimes you just can't believe what you're seeing. Parts of the book also felt a bit disjointed, but that's because it was two stories trying to be one, and the story he started with is not the story it ended up being, so he excised everything he could from the first story and put it in Those Extraordinary Twins. The twins are semi-major characters in this, but the bits that make them extraordinary are completely removed. However, since a lot of the story was already written, they sometimes behave in a manner that's a bit odd. In the original story they were conjoined twins from a freak show. That's not stated in Pudd'nhead Wilson, but they are always together and right next to each other. Always. And that's just weird if you're not literally joined at the hip. This is an inverted detective story, a howcatchem instead of a whodunit if you will. We know who done what by the time someone does anything, but we have to wait and see if anybody is going to figure it out and how they do it. So, it's more like Columbo than Murder, She Wrote, and it's fun watching the characters interact with each other, especially one of the culprits goading Pudd'nhead and a few others. Pudd'nhead kept "a whimsical almanac, for his amusement—a calendar, with a little dab of ostensible philosophy, usually in ironical form, appended to each date." Each chapter has one or two of these quotes at the front of it, and you can see how dark of a place Twain was in with some of them, though they're still a hoot. I'll leave you with some of my faves. "There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what ridicule has brought him to. Instead of feeling complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt." "One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives." "Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits." "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." "Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman: if you have witnesses, you will find she did it with a knife; but if you take simply the aspect of the pencil, you will say she did it with her teeth." (This one is probably considered sexist by today's standards.) "October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it." (I imagine the Indians would agree with this.) (These last four relate to death and indicate how happy he would probably be to find its embrace): "Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world." "Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved." "All say, 'How hard it is that we have to die'—a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live." "He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages." Since we're on a death theme here, I'll drop a few more I remember from Twain, though they don't appear in this book. "Favored above Kings and Emperors is the stillborn child." "All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter & Lazarus the worst." "Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead." I don't think Twain could ever come up with enough happy thoughts to fly to Neverland no matter how much pixie dust you poured on him. ...more |
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Aug 14, 2021
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Aug 22, 2021
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Aug 14, 2021
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Paperback
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| 1579620817
| 9781579620813
| 1579620817
| 3.79
| 121
| 1990
| Jan 01, 2003
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really liked it
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4.5 stars rounded down to four. This book was a load of fun. I first read it for a communications class I took the spring semester of college in 1999. 4.5 stars rounded down to four. This book was a load of fun. I first read it for a communications class I took the spring semester of college in 1999. (More on that in a minute). The version I read back then stopped with Ronald Reagan. (Daddy was never impressed with my Garbage Pail Kids, but he was so upset with these two that I believe he told me to get rid of them, which simply means I probably hid them somewhere.) Ms. Holland updated it in 2003 and added H.W. Bush, Clinton, and Dubya, and they fit right in with the rest. I'm personally glad that Obama and Trump are absent. I still can't find anything funny about the former, but maybe one day. This is sensationalist humor and should be read as such. Barbara gives us facts about the presidents, then spins them in a comedic way that makes this a delight to read. She also gives us some old rumors, some of which have since been disproved (such as Florence Harding poisoning her husband), but still gives us a conspiracy theory line that causes you to doubt the facts she just gave you. She directly addresses the reader often, and her sarcastic footnotes are a scream. Here's a random sample from the section on Ulysses S. Grant: "Julia was a fine First Lady, but Grant had trouble being First Man. It's specialized work, and some of us are better at it than others. I hear he'd never even read the Constitution.* [footnote 11: Unlike the rest of us, who gather the family around every evening and read it aloud after dinner.]" You'll find this kind of thing on every page. The temptation for me to start discussing the Presidents and their idiosyncrasies is strong, but I'm going to avoid it because once I open that gate, I will go on and on and on and on and on ad nauseam. Researching the Presidents and the First Ladies is a hobby of mine, and you can't get me to shut up once I start. I can name all of them (in order if you give me a little time to think about a couple of them... and let me run a verse or two from through my head). I can also tell you a tidbit or two about most of them, and a whole hell of a lot about some. Some people find this impressive. I think it just proves that I have no life and never did. But if you like that, you should've seen my American history teacher at the first college I went to. He could tell you, in order, every President, his vice president, what year they were elected and what the issues were, and that's to say nothing of all the stuff he could tell you about what went on between the elections. But he had a life; history was his life, and knowing that kind of stuff was what made him a good teacher. This book is great for anyone with an interest in the Presidents' foibles, but anyone using this book for a research paper deserves the F they'll get as it's very tongue-in-cheek. And that actually serves as a nice segue. (Review is over now. The rest of this is memories from my college days.) I did use this for a class, but not history. I had to do a group project in my communications class, and the other members of my group let me talk them into doing a report on various scandals the presidents were involved in. One did the conclusion, and three others did detailed analysis for Jefferson, Kennedy, and Nixon. I know that not because I have a terrific memory, but because I found my notes last night. (I seem to be a pack rat.) This meant I got to do the introduction which briefly covered all the others, and I pulled most of my material from this book. It was during this project that I discovered I'm actually pretty good at public speaking. The class (and more importantly, the teacher) enjoyed my presentation which was only semi-scripted. I had notes jotted down that I glanced at as I went along, but the exact verbiage was off the cuff, and that seems to be how I do my best work. I even omitted and added stuff from the notes as I went along, and I think that works best for any public speaker. Anything read verbatim from notes or a teleprompter always comes off stilted, no matter how polished the speaker is or how great the material may be. (Just look at the presenters for any awards show. Barfeth!) You need to be able to gauge your audience and adjust and respond to it as needed. My part was such a smash that I was getting compliments on it for the rest of the day, including from people who weren't even in the class and from people I didn't even know! (Averett is a small university now, and was an even smaller college back then, and nothing was private at this private institution. Hell, every time someone took a shit, the number of plies of toilet paper used in the exercise was known by the rest of the campus before he was even out of the stall, and any extra activities that may have gone on in there was also thoroughly discussed. This is one of the reasons I transferred out to the biggest university Virginia had to offer my senior year.) I felt a little bad for the others in my group who had to follow me because they didn't have the same penchant for that kind of thing that I possessed. I swear I didn't do that on purpose; it was kind of news to me since I used to be terminally shy (and still can be). But once I get up in front of everyone, I tend to roll rather well. I can't explain it, but there it is. For another assignment in that class (this one solo), we had to give a demonstration on how to do something in under five minutes. I decided to show everyone how to make Devastator who was a Transformer gestalt comprised of construction vehicles. (Shown here). There I was in front of the class with the construction vehicles building Decepticon city (Trypticon) when the Dinobots attacked in robot mode. The Constructicons turned into their robot modes to defend, then the Dinobots transformed into dinosaurs which was too much for the Constructicons who merged into Devastator, and they all had a knock-down, drag-out fight... I can't remember who won; I think it was the Constructicons. Throughout all of this the teacher sat with his head tilted and mouth slightly agape as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing (which very well may have been the case), yet I got an A regardless. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy doing nine regular transformations, plus a gestalt merger, and providing a story in under five minutes, but I pulled it off. I think I got an A for all of my presentations, but I don't think I got an A in the class due to the prof having to factor in test scores. The fact that my coke bottle had a lot of rum in it during my final exam might have had something to do with that. Still, the grade was high since the presentations were a major portion. Anyway, anyone who enjoys fun, albeit not 100% accurate, history and wants something they don't need to take too seriously would enjoy this. ...more |
Notes are private!
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2
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Aug 26, 2020
Apr 05, 1999
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Oct 02, 2020
Apr 05, 1999
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Aug 26, 2020
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| unknown
| 4.21
| 424
| Jul 28, 2020
| Jul 28, 2020
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liked it
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The three star rating is no reflection on Ian's treatment of the material; he did a fantastic job as usual, and if I were rating just his part I'd giv
The three star rating is no reflection on Ian's treatment of the material; he did a fantastic job as usual, and if I were rating just his part I'd give it 4.5 stars. If I caught more Easter eggs which I know are there but just don't have sense enough to see them, and if I were more familiar with Shakespeare's more obscure works, I'd probably give his contribution five stars. However, he's shackled by a bad story that he didn't write, and you can put all the lipstick you want on a pig, but you still got a pig. "Excusez moi?!" Not that pigs are bad things... Sorry. Anyway, Ian was able to take The Phantom Menace and make it better, but The Phantom Menace is actually a good story. Several parts are poorly acted, and it has atrocious dialogue, and many parts are a bit slow, but the story is good; the characters and their actions make sense. The Rise of Skywalker can't make that claim, though it has better acting, and the dialogue isn't terrible. The acting and dialogue in the movies is actually moot because Ian greatly improves all of that in here, but there is so much so wrong and so off with the story that nothing you do will make it good. I'm going to resist going into my litany of problems here lest I use up this entire review space before I even get to the book, but every time we got to a scene that made me cringe, or sigh, or grind my teeth, or employ a face palm (which is about 75% of them), I was merely reminded that that part sucks, and not even barding it up could save it. And really, the problems aren't Ian's fault, and he does the best he can with what he has to work with. I had high hopes for this because I'm convinced Ian is some kind of genius, and I really like his style, but those hopes were instantly dashed when I noticed that Palpatine isn't listed in the "dramatis personae" even though he's the first person mentioned in the prologue, is in the first scene, the second major character with lines, and really the whole reason there's any story at all. But I'm happy to report that's the only goof I noticed, and might be the only mistake in any of the nine books. But it might not be a goof. Ian seems pretty thorough, and there might be a perfectly good Shakespearean reason the main villain isn't listed. Oma Tres, a minor character with one soliloquy is also missing, but he could be one of the "workers" or "various creatures." I bring up Oma Tres only because he's played by John Williams in the movie. Pictured here is one of the greatest musical geniuses of our time; I could sing his praises for eternity. Anyway, Ian does something fun and damned impressive with his speech. If you turn it sideways, and count the dots on the lowercase i's as eighth notes (though technically they should be triplets) and the uppercase O's as quarter or half notes, then throw some lines in there to put the speech in the treble clef, and use the first three eighth notes as middle C, then you have the first few bars of the main Star Wars theme! This could make me cream my pants if I weren't already so boner down about the story, but how one could come up with such a thing... Impressive. Most impressive. Ian's a Jedi now. Here are a few quotes I really liked: I... "feel a chafing of my mind at these Most unaccountable vicissitudes Of fortune..." At first I thought this might be an extremely fancy reworking of the "I've got a bad feeling about this" line, but after I studied it for a bit, I realized it doesn't mean that at all, and Poe doesn't say it at that part. Actually, Poe doesn't say it at all; Lando gets the line in this installment. Still, what an awesome quote! I'm going to see if I can work it into casual conversation soon. Hell, this is 2020. I could've inserted that at least three times a day since mid-March, and I expect opportunities will abound for the next few months; this'll be easy-peasey, and if I can't make it happen, then I just ain't trying hard enough. "If one good deed in all my life I did, I do repent it from my very soul." This is Palpatine's swan song, and ain't it just as hardcore as can be?! It's actually Aaron the Moor's death line from Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus. I don't know this because I'm well educated on Billy's works (I'm not sure that I've even heard of Titus Andronicus before), but because I have a penchant for research. I know there are a million other Shakespearean references in here, but I didn't catch a single one. I think Ian tries not to chew his cabbage twice, and by the ninth installment, he's used up all the famous scenes from the most well-known plays and is scraping the bottom of the barrel for material. Still, this is the kind of thing a Shakespearean scholar would eat up. "Thou art a memory, and nothing more. Thou art, mayhap, some undigested beef, Thou art more gravy than come from the grave." Kylo Ren (or Ben, rather) speaks this line, and how could I not love it? It comes from my all-time favorite book. This might've been the only Easter egg I caught without being pointed in the right direction, though I'm sure there are a ton more. Again, nine books, no cud if you can help it, pickings are slim. Recommendation... If you liked the other books in this series, and liked the Rise of Skywalker movie, then it's a no-brainer; of course you should read this. If some parts of the movie have you shaking your head and wondering "why, dear Force, why," then I don't know. I enjoyed the bard treatment, and there was a lot of fun frivolity with the lines, but the story... and nonsense... and childish characters with no character development... and... you know I said I wasn't going to list my gripes, so I'm going to bow out now. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Aug 04, 2020
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Aug 09, 2020
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Aug 04, 2020
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ebook
| ||||||||||||||||
| 0883659603
| 9780883659601
| 0883659603
| 3.62
| 421
| 2001
| Jun 15, 2001
|
it was amazing
|
Update, 6/24/20: Nothing to add, really. I was going to pick out a few gems to drop here, but this was my bedtime book, and who wants to make notes whe Update, 6/24/20: Nothing to add, really. I was going to pick out a few gems to drop here, but this was my bedtime book, and who wants to make notes when they're just catching a few pages before nodding off? Some of the quotes went well with current events. (I don't know what the future will call it, but I'm referring to the riots/protests that kicked off with the Floyd murder, and of course there's the Covid-19 thing. Lord only knows what's next; I tell ya, it's a mess out there right now.) It's funny how current events can change how you see a quote. I'll provide just one example: "I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse." -Brendan Behan There are 2,548 quotes in this thing, and I probably wouldn't have even noticed that one, but it stuck out with this reread. It meant one thing the last time I read it, but it means something else now. (I'm not saying I agree or disagree with the implications; just that my mind went a different direction with it this time.) Several others stuck out because they could be applied to various politicians who seem to have gone power mad with these lockdowns. I had a nice diatribe on here which cited a few of those and linked them to the politician which affects my daily life the most, but I deleted it in an effort to show some class, which is quite a change for me since my natural inclination is to show my ass. But with so few people being classy right now, it behooved me to try to make up the deficit. I think I'll give myself a C+ or B- here. Thank God there are a bunch of funny quotes in here too; those are what really make the book worth reading for me. Original review, 2/26/11?: There's really not too much to say about this as it's just a book of quotes. I've read it a few times, and reread it every couple of years. It's a quick read, and quite enjoyable. Many of the quotes are humorous, but there are also plenty of serious ones in there as well. It's set up in a manner that makes it easy to read from front-to-back unlike most quote books. I highly recommend it. It makes for light entertainment when you're not willing to commit to a short story or novel. ...more |
Notes are private!
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5
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Apr 14, 2020
Feb 15, 2011
not set
not set
not set
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Jun 24, 2020
Feb 26, 2011
May 31, 2006
Feb 2002
Apr 1997
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Apr 14, 2020
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 1524789925
| 9781524789923
| 1524789925
| 4.50
| 373
| Oct 16, 2018
| Oct 16, 2018
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really liked it
|
2.5 stars for the poem itself. The cadence gets off in a couple of places. Or maybe that should be meter... or rhythm... or flow... I'm not an English
2.5 stars for the poem itself. The cadence gets off in a couple of places. Or maybe that should be meter... or rhythm... or flow... I'm not an English major or a poet, so I don't know the right term, but I know enough to know it derails here and there. Don't tell me about poetry, I know what I know; I'm an internet blowhard. But it's The Golden Girls, and there were references to several different episodes and running gags. I believe I caught all of them, and I enjoyed all of them, so four stars it is. (The rest of this is a non-review, so make your escape now.) Is The Golden Girls my favorite show? No. Is it my favorite sitcom? No, but it's damn close. It never quite pushes The Andy Griffith Show out of the top spot, and it also has to contend with Still Standing (which I really wish they would put out on DVD or something) and The Cosby Show. (Yeah, I know, fall from grace, blah, blah, blah, I don't care; I still love the show even if the star did some rather heinous deeds; sue me. However, I will admit watching a couple of episodes are a little tough when I know that the guest star was someone he's supposed to have raped. The Mrs. Minifield episode, for example, which was one of my favorite ones from the last season. That particular case hasn't been proven in a court of law, but the evidence is pretty damning.) But this isn't about The Cosby Show, it's about The Golden Girls. I probably know that show better than I know any of the others I mentioned, and that's mostly because they've been playing it continually on various channels for the past 20 years, and I even remember some of it from its original run. I usually put it on if I run across it, and I'm definitely a major fan. I own all the DVD's. I have crochet patterns for dolls of each of the girls, though I haven't made them yet. Mama and I have the Golden Girls Trivial Pursuit game, and I'm pretty good at it. Once when a friend and I were watching, I said "Oh, this is the episode where Sophia goes to Sicily." The episode had just started, been on for only a couple of seconds, and Dorothy had just walked across the living room with Blanche behind her holding a note pad. Friend stared at me with a mixture of awe and pity (she knew I had no life) and said "All she did was walk across a room... You should do that at parties!" Dorothy's quip "the next time I'm lost in the woods with a stack of pancakes" still makes me laugh out loud every time I think about it, though I first heard it a couple of decades ago. It got to me again when I watched that episode the other day (it's the first, and better, Christmas show). And do you know what all of this means? Ah, blow it out your tubenburbles, you old raisin in sneakers. And I would like for the record to show that I do not know all the words to "Send in the Clowns..." though I confess I can sing "" without flubbing it, and that's just as bad, so I reckon I'm guilty as charged. Oh well. This book would be appreciated by only superfans of the show; no others need apply. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Dec 25, 2019
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Dec 25, 2019
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Dec 25, 2019
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 0880880805
| 9780880880800
| 0880880805
| 4.05
| 233
| Jun 01, 1961
| Apr 01, 1998
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really liked it
|
I love Twain quotes even when they're not his. All of these in here belong to him. This is a shorty that could be handled in one sitting, but I decide
I love Twain quotes even when they're not his. All of these in here belong to him. This is a shorty that could be handled in one sitting, but I decided to savor it with just a few pages a night. Some quotes are humorous, some are merely wise, but most were both. The only reason it doesn't get five stars is that it's missing a few gems I love. Such is the bane of having looked into MT's witticisms extensively. All of the quotes come from his various writings, letters, stories, novels, etc. Here are a few I enjoyed. I'll leave out the ones everyone knows and just stick to those that were either unfamiliar or that I haven't seen in forever: "Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent." "He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages." "There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get. How strange it is!" "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." (I know that's a common one, but I'm including it because I always thought it was from Winston Churchill. I'm now more educated.) "There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce." You know whether or not you'd like this, but I wouldn't seek it out. It was probably found in the impulse aisle at a bookstore. If you really want a book of his quotes, get the real deal; I'm sure there's one out there. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Oct 03, 2019
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Oct 13, 2019
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Oct 03, 2019
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 168369094X
| 9781683690948
| 168369094X
| 4.30
| 628
| Apr 23, 2019
| Apr 23, 2019
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really liked it
|
3.5 stars rounded up to four. It would be a solid four+ as a standalone work, but I'm also pitting it against the other (Actual review is marked below after a couple paragraphs of... whatever this is.) First I must give a "thank you" to Mr. Doescher. (Certainly he's waiting with bated breath to hear what an accounting firm file clerk thinks about his book, so he's sure to see this, right?) Thank you Mr. D... actually, you're just a couple years my senior and practically a contemporary. May I call you Ian? ... Silence gives consent. Wonderful. Thank you, Ian, for making Shakespeare a little less intimidating. I need to read Othello and Hamlet if I want to do justice to my read-everything-I-was-supposed-to-read-in-school-but-didn't project. After reading this and the others I mentioned above, I feel like I can tackle them now, and I don't even think I'll have to do it grudgingly. I've never enjoyed reading Shakespearean plays. Most of this is due to them being plays, and I don't like reading those. I do really like Shakespearean quotes, words, insults, some soliloquies, lines, and a lot of other fun stuff he's known for, but reading the entire play itself? ZZZZZZZ. The one exception is Julius Caesar, though I haven't read that in... Jesus Christ, has it really been 25 years since I was in 10th grade? Anyway, a quarter of a century has passed since I read that, but I remember liking it. I actually want to read it again, and am willing to do so without any impetus from the aforementioned project. Maybe one day. (Update: That day was 8/31/22-9/1/22 during a couple of very, very slow work days. Thanks Project Gutenberg!) I also liked the English class I read it in and the teacher, Ms. Dix. She often wore a purple dress and we called her Grimace on those days since she was kind of shaped like him. My classmates with younger siblings brought Barney to our attention, so that was thrown out from time to time too. 40-year-old Pierce in 2019 thinks this might be a bit mean, but recognizes that 15-year-olds are assholes whether it's 2019, 1994 (the year I was in 10th grade and, coincidentally, the year Ian punched Josh Hicks in the arm according the acknowledgements at the back of the book), 1985, or 1955. 15-year-old Pierce in 1994 knows that these monikers were hung on her with love in the spirit of good-natured ribbing (she was a good teacher, and a nice lady, to boot). She even laughed with us and slammed us from time to time too, much to the general amusement of the class including the individuals in the crosshairs. It seems like people didn't have their hurty buttons on display as much as they do nowadays. I wonder how she's doing? Oh... She died a year and a half ago. Scary how you can find anything on the internet. Well, since I'm already thanking people who will never read this, thank you Ms. Dix for being one of my more memorable teachers, and for introducing me to a book I love which is probably due for another reread. Dammit, it looks like the stream-of-consciousaurus has struck again. My apologies. REVIEW STARTS HERE: I was trepidatious going into this. The Star Wars stories can naturally handle a Shakepearean treatment, but I wasn't sure about Back to the Future. To some extent, I think I was right, but this was still a load of fun. Ian's quite clever, and his skill at barding things up has grown a lot since his first foray into these adaptations. He also includes a couple of pages to help the layman follow some Shakespearean language and structure. This taught me a couple of things and helped me brush-up on a couple more since I'm hardly a Shakespearean scholar. There are two prerequisites for enjoying this book. One is a love for Back to the Future and the other is an appreciation for Shakespeare. Enjoyment is enhanced if you can recognize a myriad of additional pop-culture references. I caught a ton, but I would love to know the ones I missed, for I'm sure there are plenty. I bet Ian's hell on Jeopardy! That being said, I'm afraid I won't be getting Ian's complete collected works since he's also done William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Mean Girls, and while I have the appreciation for the bard, I have zero interest in Mean Girls, and that one would be lost on me. Sad day. But, Ian and I are both fans of the Back to the Future franchise, and hearing/reading some of my favorite lines in Shakespearese is just as much of a hoot here as it is in his other books. "Upon what lookest thou, thou arse-like pate?" "What dost thou wear? Is it a Devo suit?" (I don't really see the resemblance, myself.) He also pulls some lines straight from the source material and gives them a slight twist. "Friends, makers, countrymen, lend me your ears--" Some characters get full, modified speeches. One example is one of the Libyans tackling Shylock's soliloquy when he starts off with "Hath not a Libyan eyes...," and runs it through to its natural conclusion. But my favorite part with the Libyans was when their substandard equipment started acting up. "This Russian gun, fie!" "Foh, this German van!" He throws other pop culture references into the mix, too. In short, this is a basket full of Easter eggs. "What meanst thou has watch'd the show ere now? 'Tis new, and not from some past wonder year." There are song titles and references out the wazoo. A lot are from the 80's... "Like chariots of fire leave all behind And in a blaze of glory help me 'scape." ...but not all of them are. "A crash of drums, a flash of light, my time Machine flies out of sight!" You know, that picture is too gay even for me, and I engage in felat... well, never mind. He reworks a couple of entire songs bard style complete with "hey nonnies" and "heigh-hos" where applicable, but here's the news. The musical reference piece de resistance is the dance committee chairman's (played by Huey Lewis himself, second from the left) soliloquy, and I'm afraid I can't resist the temptation to drop the whole thing on here; it's just that awesome. "In working for a living, I do strive To put my heart and soul in ev'ry task. Today, within this perfect world of ours, My task, stuck with you, friends, is no more hard Than to ascend the rung of Jacob's ladder, As if our group were angels, back in time. The youth of our age, cruising to new heights, Did hear our music's shape, said, "That's not me, I want a new drug for my youthful ears." They say, "If this is it, we want it not." Their hearts dislik'd the circles of our songs, Thus they decided 'tis hip to be square. They fin'lly found a home in their new sound-- They think it is some kind of wonderful. It hit me like a hammer when I heard it, For bad is bad when it doth strike mine ears. I know what I like, friends, and verily 'Tis not their music, nay. Yet, it's all right-- Don't fight it, so say I. Accept their music, Give me the keys and beats and instruments! Do you believe in love? So do our youth, And thus, the heart of rock and roll we'll hear, This music that the pow'r of love releaseth." Dude, rock on with your bad self! He worked an acrostic into three speeches which was fun. He tells you about the first one in the prologue, and challenges you to find the other two yourself. My brain has a hard time seeing that kind of thing (which is why I suck at word-find puzzles), but after perusing the entire book twice more after reading it, I found them. I'm not going to tell you what they say because I think you should read this, and I really ought to leave a couple of surprises for you. "Methinks (this) harsh rejection (will) destroy me..." Calm down. I will tell you where you can find them. The first is in the scene referred to above, where George is explaining to Marty why he won't let anyone read his work. The second is when "Marty too--or Marty two" takes the stage for a brief moment during the Enchantment 'Neath the Sea dance to explain that he's here on an extra secret mission unknown to Marty one and Doc Brown one, and that he may see us another time. "So heavy is this matter, by my troth." So, if you're digging these quotes and references, then do yourself a favor and read this book; it's a scream. Addendum, 11/6/22: Lego has put out a larger version of their DeLorean, and I don't know that I'll have another place to show it off, so here it will go. It's a testament to how popular this franchise is that this sold out immediately upon its release. In fact, it was so sold out that I couldn't even get on a waiting list for a few months. Then when I was able to get on the list, I had to wait a couple more months before it was available again. But once I got the e-mail saying it was in stock, I ordered it immediately. Then I got a message saying due to high demand, it might be a couple more weeks before it shipped. That's fine, though. I wasn't planning on getting it for a couple more months anyway, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Anyway, you can alter the model for all three movies. Of course, the first is my favorite so that's the one I'll display. They even give you a Lego banana and drink can to put in Mr. Fusion which opens up, though you can't see that here. You have to use a couple of the same pieces to convert from one to the other. E.G. a couple pieces in the part I version are needed in the box on the hood in the part III version, so you can't quickly switch anything out and have to do a minor rebuild. It was just a few pieces, so I don't know why they didn't just throw in the extras, but oh well. The instruction book had fun tidbits in it, and while I thought I knew almost everything about these movies since I've seen them a million times and have read up on them, I didn't know that the original plan was for the time machine to be a refrigerator! Thank goodness they changed that in pre-production. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Apr 28, 2019
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May 03, 2019
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Apr 25, 2019
|
Paperback
| ||||||||||||||
| 0060913614
| 9780060913618
| 0060913614
| 4.10
| 3,192
| 1968
| Jan 01, 1998
|
liked it
|
I hate the middle-of-the-road three star rating sometimes. I can't say I "really liked" this, and it was definitely a lot better than "OK," yet "I lik
I hate the middle-of-the-road three star rating sometimes. I can't say I "really liked" this, and it was definitely a lot better than "OK," yet "I liked it" isn't quite right either, but it doesn't quite deserve a 3.5 star rating either. Moreover, I'm not sure why I'm hellbent on keeping it at three stars, especially since I thought there were some five star parts in it. Maybe I should just abandon this review right now... Nah. I'll soldier on even if it makes no sense, and perhaps I'll figure it out by the time I'm done typing. This was great (but obviously not four star great). I think what's keeping this from four stars is that a lot of the main characters were almost the same character. Or they all had the same sense of humor and way of interacting with each other. Josh (the narrator), his dad, Steenie, Marcia, and a couple of minor characters all had the same jokey conversational style, and it was sometimes hard to tell one from the other. It was like a book full of Weasley twins. (Harry Potter reference for those of you not in the know.) I'm not sure what I have against that, especially since such camaraderie among comrades isn't all that unusual (hell, it's not all that different from the way I interacted with some college friends), but I think it was just too much. That being said, a lot of the stuff they said and got into was downright hilarious. I snickered throughout and even laughed out loud in a few spots. I guess I just want my coming-of-age stories to be a little more grounded. Luckily that started to happen in the second half of the book. Some serious things started happening then, and at least Josh started taking them a little more seriously, though there was still plenty of wit. Maybe that was the growing up part. I'm now wondering why I gave Huckleberry Finn five stars since it's much sillier than this book, yet they're both on my coming-of-age shelf. I guess it's because Red Sky at Morning is primarily a bildungsroman and that part is secondary in Huckleberry Finn. If the coming-of-age aspect is the focal point, the work should have a little more gravitas... Well shit, I'm just making up all sorts of rules here. Still, that's my preference at this moment, and I'm going to stand by it. I don't plan to give this book away and might even reread it one day. Or I might get the movie and watch that. Looks like it stars Jon Boy Walton!? Actually, I can see Richard Thomas playing Josh pretty well. Let's see if I can find that on Amazon... Nope, the only DVD copies are bootlegs. Maybe one day. This is billed as "a sort of Catcher in the Rye out west." Eh, I don't know if I'd call it that. Josh and Holden Caulfield are both snarky and sarcastic, but Holden's all whiny-angsty-emo and shit, and Josh isn't. Josh's beefs are legitimate, and Holden's the kind of kid you wanna smack and shout "will you just get the fuck off your pity pot?!" One personal note: Josh is just a few months younger than my grandfather, and they both ended up (view spoiler)[joining the war, more or less (it was officially over by the time they made it to their respective theaters, but there was still plenty of dangerous work to do.) (hide spoiler)] Anything that brings granddaddy to mind is A-OK by me. Again I say that this is a great book, and I would recommend it to anyone, especially if you like coming of age stories heavily ladled with humor. It just doesn't deserve all the stars... but I might change my mind on that one day. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jan 22, 2019
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Feb 02, 2019
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Dec 25, 2018
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Paperback
| ||||||||||||||
| 1101873043
| 9781101873045
| 1101873043
| 3.96
| 557
| Aug 18, 2015
| Aug 18, 2015
|
it was amazing
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I haven't read all of this yet, but I will. I've read enough to know it deserves all five stars, for this thing is a trip as well as extremely informa
I haven't read all of this yet, but I will. I've read enough to know it deserves all five stars, for this thing is a trip as well as extremely informative. It gives us reviews of 16 classic books with a thugtastic urban patois and is based on the . But the book entries are even better since the reviews go a little more in-depth and don't bleep out the profanity. One thing's for sure: Sparky Sweets, PhD (real name Greg Edwards) knows his shit. Even though he uses the language of the hood, I'm pretty sure he could hang with the upper echelon of academia. He could certainly school me, though that really ain't saying much. However, he's not 100% accurate. A lot of stuff gets skipped in the summaries, some things get merged, and he even gets a minor detail wrong from time to time. But his space is limited and alternative explanations would take an entire paragraph for it to make sense to the reader. For example, he mentions in his To Kill a Mockingbird summary that Scout was "kickin' back at her auntie's place when word come dat T-Robinson tried to escape from da clink and got his ass capped seventeen times! Excessive force!" Scout was actually at home when Atticus brought that news, though Aunt Alexandra was living with them at the time, and was hosting some ladies aid missionary tea thing. So, these aren't perfect, but let's be honest here; anybody who's using these to study for a test deserves the F he receives. These provide breadth. If you want depth, read the actual book he's plugging, then listen to the teacher explain it. But he's good at pointing out themes and imagery. I even learned a couple of new things about To Kill a Mockingbird, and I've read/listened to that thing five times. But I've always sucked ass at "themes 'n' shit" and "images 'n' symbols," and I have to get a friend of mine to explain them to me if she's also read the book. I doubt there's anything new in this for her. I've decided to do a Thug Notes project where I read most of the books reviewed in this one. The links below lead to my reviews. A star rating means I've read the book; no stars means I haven't gotten to it yet. I'm saving the sections on books I haven't read until I've read them. I'll read the reviews on books I have no intention of reading just to say I've read this whole thing, because let's face it: Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison and Raisin in the Sun ain't happening. I've no interest in the former and the latter is a play; blech. But the Thug Notes web reviews for those are pretty sweet, and I'll link them here. All other Thug Notes webisodes will be linked in my review of that book. Enjoy Dr. Sweets' videos, but check out this book as well. You can't go wrong if you're a classic lit fan with a sense of humor. Romeo and Juliet: ★★✰✰� To Kill a Mockingbird: ★★★★� Pride and Prejudice: ★★★★� The Great Gatsby: ★★✰✰� Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus: ★★★✰� (Link goes to the Thug Notes video review since I'm unlikely to offer a review of my own.) Lord of the Flies: ★★★★� Moby Dick: (Link goes to the Thug Notes video review since I'm unlikely to offer a review of my own.) Hamlet (I know this is a play, and that I just pooh-poohed plays in general, but this also relates to my "read everything I was supposed to read in school but didn't" project.): ★★★✰� Fahrenheit 451: The Catcher in the Rye: ★★★★� Crime and Punishment: Things Fall Apart: ★★★★� The Color Purple: ★★★✰� The Scarlet Letter: ★★★★� ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 03, 2019
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Feb 03, 2019
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Dec 25, 2018
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Paperback
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| 1562828401
| 9781562828400
| 1562828401
| 4.38
| 608
| Jan 01, 1993
| 1993
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liked it
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2.5 stars rounded up to three. This is a book of quotes that were shared on Saturday Night Live in the early 90's which is one of the two periods when 2.5 stars rounded up to three. This is a book of quotes that were shared on Saturday Night Live in the early 90's which is one of the two periods when the show was actually worth watching. Other than that time and a couple of years in the late 70's, SNL sucks. The section during early 2000's ended up catapulting some really talented people into bigger careers, but even that period is just mediocre when compared to the other two, though I know of several people who disagree with that assessment. Still, I gotta call it like I see it. The late 70's and early 90's shows were actually funny. All other eras are... ugh. I try to watch it once every year or two to see if it's gotten any better, and the last time was so agonizing that I couldn't make it through 20 minutes. It's too self-important, and it just isn't funny. At all. But when it was on point, it was frocking on point! I rarely missed an episode in the early 90's when I was in high school, and that's the time when Jack Handey was doing his deal. Not all of the quotes were hits such as "Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk about freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered they were not Indians at all, but dirty clothes hampers." I don't know; that doesn't do a thing for me. And some of them were merely just fine like the classic "The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw," which I always thought was overrated, and never understood why it was the go-to Deep Thoughts quote, but there it is. Maybe I think it's so-so because I've heard it so much. I don't know. Then there are others that kill me such as "Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis." Some give us insight into why some people behave the way they do: "I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and laugh at me. I vowed, then and there, that I would get revenge." One of them might have been at the root of Obama's philosophy on how to succeed in America: "Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling." Yeah, kid, you just got lucky. Don't you feel good now? Some offer very practical advice: "Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have." It makes good, economic sense, if you ask me. Have we learned nothing about "waste not, want not" from the time of want that was The Great Depression? (Based on what I witnessed during the great recession, I would say "no," but I digress.) Most are just off-the-wall silly, which speaks to me: "Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions?" Some showcase some idiosyncrasies of the human condition: "I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!" One reminded me of a plan I had in my own life (course, what doesn't remind me of something else): "If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys, throw one of those little baby-type pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think of how crazy war is, and while they're thinking, you can throw a real grenade." I can relate to causing that kind of distraction. Once when I had to walk home five miles on a dark night that threatened rain, I made sure I had my umbrella with me. I was too proud to ask for a ride, though I could think of several people who would've been more than happy to help me out. I don't know; I'm a weirdo. Besides, I thought the exercise would do me good since I worked a sedentary job at the time. (My legs were sore for days.) A few parts of my route were unlit, and I could've been attacked at any time, but I had a plan. If a car pulled over in front of me, and the driver got out and demanded my dough, I would assume the stance of a samurai warrior, brandish my umbrella, hit the button that made it longer, then give a high pitch cackle (which I occasionally practiced on my way). During the moment my intended aggressor was either stunned or laughing, I would run up to him, kick him in the balls, rip off his arm, shove it up his nose, lock him in the trunk of his car, push it into the ditch, then it'd be RUN, FOREST. RUN! all the way home. You see, the umbrella, like the little baby-type pumpkin, was just a red herring. I'm pleased to report I didn't have to resort to these measures, but I'm glad Jack recalled the incident to my mind. Read this for yourself and see what memories stir within you. Or skip it. Several of the quotes are fun, but many others are just "eh." ...more |
Notes are private!
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2
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Jan 15, 2013
not set
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Feb 11, 2013
Jan 05, 1994
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Nov 18, 2018
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Paperback
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| 4.15
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really liked it
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Oct 20, 1990
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Oct 19, 2024
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| 3.00
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liked it
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Sep 08, 2024
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Sep 08, 2024
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| 4.36
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really liked it
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May 03, 2024
Jul 15, 1988
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Apr 24, 2024
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| 3.67
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liked it
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Aug 12, 2023
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Jan 01, 2023
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| 3.63
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really liked it
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Apr 2023
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Jan 01, 2023
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| 3.97
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really liked it
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Aug 12, 2023
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Jan 01, 2023
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| 4.02
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really liked it
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Dec 05, 2021
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Dec 05, 2021
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| 4.09
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liked it
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Dec 23, 2021
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Nov 26, 2021
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| 3.98
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liked it
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Nov 30, 2021
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Nov 26, 2021
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| 3.18
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really liked it
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Aug 25, 2021
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Aug 14, 2021
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| 3.75
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really liked it
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Aug 22, 2021
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Aug 14, 2021
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| 3.79
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really liked it
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Oct 02, 2020
Apr 05, 1999
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Aug 26, 2020
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| 4.21
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liked it
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Aug 09, 2020
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Aug 04, 2020
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| 3.62
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it was amazing
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Jun 24, 2020
Feb 26, 2011
May 31, 2006
Feb 2002
Apr 1997
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Apr 14, 2020
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| 4.50
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really liked it
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Dec 25, 2019
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Dec 25, 2019
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| 4.05
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really liked it
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Oct 13, 2019
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Oct 03, 2019
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| 4.30
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really liked it
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May 03, 2019
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Apr 25, 2019
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| 4.10
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liked it
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Feb 02, 2019
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Dec 25, 2018
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| 3.96
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it was amazing
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Feb 03, 2019
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Dec 25, 2018
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| 4.38
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liked it
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Feb 11, 2013
Jan 05, 1994
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Nov 18, 2018
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