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| 1935169181
| 9781935169185
| 1935169181
| 3.52
| 3,204
| 1979
| Dec 17, 2012
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liked it
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This book was the basis for the movie Die Hard, and let's start by dismissing the elephant in the room immediately. I consider it a Christmas movie. I
This book was the basis for the movie Die Hard, and let's start by dismissing the elephant in the room immediately. I consider it a Christmas movie. It has to be one because I watch it at Christmastime and won't watch it if I see it on at any other time of the year (except that one time it won the lottery for my one allowable "Christmas in June/July" movie). Plus, I read this book as part of this year's Christmas reading. That should settle the matter. However, please feel free to disagree; keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine. This is not a hill I'm willing to die on (or a skyscraper I'm willing to die in, if you prefer), and if you like to watch it at any point in the year, or not watch it at all, or don't consider it a Christmas movie, I won't hold it against you. In fact, a friend of mine disagrees and . He's a lot smarter than I'll ever live to be, at least about movies, and pop culture's influence on society and vice-versa, and prosocial stuff, etc. He can also articulate all that better than I ever could, so I'd never debate him about it[1], but even he's allowed to be wrong.[2] Having said I believe it's a Christmas movie, I will point out that I don't believe it to be a Christmas story at all. This is a distinction I picked up in the aforementioned blog post. Even though the entire thing takes place on Christmas Eve/Christmas morning, there isn't a single Christmas theme in it. That's a nice middle-of-the-road observation that should put "paid" to the issue, but it won't because people on the internet are psycho about inconsequential matters, so the Die Hard debate has no chance to die hard because it will never die at all. But enough of that. This book could maaaaaaaybe be 3.5 stars, but then I'd have to round up to four in the Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ rating, and I'm sorry, it just doesn't deserve that. Let's call it 3.49 stars rounded back down to three. The movie is based on it, and the bones of each story are the same, but the flesh and clothes are different. It's kind of like the dissimilarities between Gone to Texas and The Outlaw Josey Wales. You don't get a completely different story, but there are enough changes to make the reading experience fresh. The writing was good, meaning it was grammatically correct. There were good sentences. I loved the story, but something was off with it. The narrative bucked along with fits and starts here and there due to needless asides. They were usually kept to a paragraph or two, thankfully, but it interrupted the flow. Also, the relationship with the stewardess he met on the way to LA... I just wasn't buying it. Luckily this isn't the kind of story you're meant to think about too deeply (or at all, really). It's an action/thriller kind of thing, and I was able to enjoy it for being what it was, not what it wasn't, like a think piece, or something. Outside of the main cast, the characters in the movie are such over-the-top caricatures that it's impossible for me to take them seriously, but damn if that doesn't help make the film a load of fun. This book isn't quite as much fun. The characters are more realistic in the way they handle what's in front of them no matter how outlandish the situation might be. Even the asshole, dipshit deputy police chief Robinson behaves in a realistic manner and doesn't come off like a complete idiot. In the film, you wonder how he could possibly have ever been promoted past traffic cop, and he's still a shithead in the book, but he's not a stupid shithead. Anton "Little Tony" Gruber (Hans Gruber in the movie) is way too on top of things, and Joe Leland (John McClane in the movie) is way too resourceful at times. It's like they were reading each others' minds in how they figured out what move the other would make before he made it even though they never met until the very end. Again, don't think too deeply about it, and you'll be fine, but there was one what-the-fuck incident at the end which threw me for a loop. Al flat out (view spoiler)[murders deputy police chief Robinson by grabbing him and throwing him into the line of fire. I know a lot of people would like to murder their boss, but Jesus, dude, what the hell's the matter with you? (hide spoiler)] This saves Joe, but still... God damn! If you enjoy nice, imperfect thrillers, this will do in a pinch. If you're looking for the movie Die Hard in written form, you're apt to be disappointed. A lot of scenes are altered or flat out missing as are several plot points. [1]: Mostly because I'd lose. I suck at arguing, or at least winning, and I don't enjoy doing it which usually leads to me throwing in the towel about halfway through round one. Like Mr. Fairlie in The Woman in White, I seek a peaceful life, yet I'm highly opinionated, have a predisposition towards self-righteousness, and I've been known to carry an argument to levels of insanity that leaves everybody within hearing range pissed the fuck off by the end of it whether they were involved in it or not if I allow myself to get sucked into an altercation. I come by this tendency to argue with a stump honestly, but it doesn't work well with my peace-seeking side. It used to be fun for me even if it wasn't for anybody else, but frankly, I don't have the energy anymore in my dotage for such silliness. However, I've discovered that with a little bit of effort, one can temper his natural inclinations and attain a chance at the peace he seeks. First, never miss a good opportunity to shut up, (and remember that it's easier to step out of a whirlpool at the top than if you're already halfway down the thing). Second, step back and ask yourself "how important is this really?" 95% of the time the answer, for me, is "not that important." Of the remaining 5%, I ask myself "is this a hill I'm willing to die on?" Again, 95% of the time the answer, for me, is no. If my math is right (though it almost never is, so please feel free to correct me), that means that I need to get decisively engaged to the bitter end in only .25% of the disagreements that come my way. That allows me to yield the field of battle to my adversary 99.75% of the time and allows him to seek a more worthy opponent. This leaves me with my peace, him/her with his/her victory, and we're both happy as a pig in shit, so it's a win all the way around. [2]: If I read the post correctly, he actually doesn't care whether or not anyone thinks it's a Christmas movie, but he mostly goes into how it fuels right-wing nut jobs (the left isn't the only side allowed to have those, thank you very much), the problem with Reagan era machoism depicted in it, a few other things, and why he'll never watch it again in spite of how much he loved it as a teen. He's uber-progressive, so it grates on his sensibilities, but my regressive ass still loves the hell out of it. (My apologies to Sean if I have stated any of this inaccurately.) ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Dec 2024
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Dec 11, 2024
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Dec 01, 2024
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Paperback
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| 0394937856
| 9780394937854
| 0394937856
| 4.23
| 310
| 1978
| Apr 12, 1978
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it was amazing
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This probably doesn't deserve five stars, objectively. I suppose it should have four, but I'm being subjective today, and five is where the rating wil
This probably doesn't deserve five stars, objectively. I suppose it should have four, but I'm being subjective today, and five is where the rating will stand. This is the elementary age version of the original Star Wars story, complete with pictures. As such, it's truncated and cuts out some of the more violent moments like Darth Vader's choking scenes, whether he tends to it manually... or via the force. My version of this is an original which I've had since I was a wee tot. I don't know if it's been updated since the initial publication, but it would need some polishing to make it more canonical, starting with the title. (It doesn't even have the "Episode IV: A New Hope" subtitle attached to it which is something that was added when the second movie came out.) There are also deleted scenes that never made it to the movie, not even the special editions, such as one where Biggs and Luke talk on Tatooine just before Biggs heads off to join the rebellion. There's also a brief scene with Luke looking to the sky with his macrobinoculars to see the space battle going on at the beginning. In the accompanying picture, he's wearing a Gilligan hat... ...which is never seen in the movie. I wondered what happened to it, and after extensive research I discovered that Gilligan himself absconded with it. I always suspected he didn't hail from this galaxy. It turns out he's Jar Jar Binks' son. (Human mother, Gungan father, so he looks human but got Jar Jar's mental deficiencies, which explains his idiocy.) "Tis embarrassing, but my afraid my've been banished. Meesa caused maybe one, maybe two-y leettle bitty accidentes, huh? You'd say boom da Minnow, den crashin' der Skipper's heyblibber, den banished." The Heyblibber in question was one on display in the museum section of the Star Destroyer Persecutor where Gilligan was working as a janitor. During the Battle of Scarif, Gilligan activated it and crashed it into the ship's power generator which disabled it. The rebels erroneously assumed they did the damage and came up with the plan to push The Persecutor into the docking station which controlled the deflector shield. This destroyed the shield, allowed the rebels to transmit the Death Star's plans, and a series of events ensued which terminated in the collapse of the entire Galactic Empire. Of course, the bosses didn't know that would happen, but they'd had enough of Gilligan, enrolled him in a foreign exchange program with our galaxy, and hastily hied him hither though it was hardly an even trade. They got John Travolta's twin brother Jason who went missing at birth, a fly ass dude who joined the Rebel Alliance and even took his platform shoes with him. The funk is strong with this one. During their downtime, he taught everybody in that galaxy far, far away how to to hits like by Carbonite Convention and from Hoth, Wind, and Fire. I seem to have gotten off track. I guess kids today would still enjoy this, but I'm not sure. A lot has changed since 1978 when this book came out. Most kids who are into Star Wars like the flash and bang of the newer movies and shows, and this one is rather tame by comparison. Being as young as they are, they don't have sense enough to appreciate the glory of the original. Shit, Vader's entrance was the best thing I'd ever seen in my life back then, and I still get a thrill every time I see it. There weren't any VCRs back then, and you had to catch Star Wars when it came on television. Nowadays they show it all the time, and you can't get away from it, but back in the early 80s you had to wait for network TV to do a special showing. If you had cable, your chances improved slightly, but it was still a treat. This book, and the two following it, scratched that itch for me when there was no Star Wars to be seen, and it did it often. I didn't know how to read back then, but I looked at the pictures over and over, especially the back cover: This may be the most well-loved book from my childhood, though I guess Go, Dog. Go! could give it a run for its money. When I did learn to read, this was still too advanced for me, but I eventually got to where I could handle it. I don't reckon third or fourth graders would have too much trouble with it, but anyone younger might need a little help. I have no idea how often I went through this, but I certainly put it through it's paces, sometimes while sitting Indian style in front of my Fisher Price record player, listening to the soundtrack. As destructive as I could be, I apparently learned how to properly care for a record as young as three or four years old. I think mama handled putting on the needle for a while, but I got to put it on and turn it over. I can't imagine letting any three or four-year-olds I know handle a record at all, so mama was being pretty risky. I still have the records (there were two), and they still play without any scratches or skips. My tastes have changed over the years, but I clearly remember that (aka the Jawa/Sandcrawler theme) was my favorite song on there back then. I have no idea why since so many other tunes are more exciting, but there's no explaining the whims and caprices of a preschooler. I also used to play the record as I played with my Star Wars toys, and act out the scenes that went with the music, or I might just sit and listen and watch the record spin. Ah, memories, memories. The fact that this book survived is a miracle; the force must be with it. The spine started to come apart probably around the time I was five years old, and I think granddaddy repaired it with some yellow electrical tape. The pages eventually tried to separate, and it's now literally hanging on by a thread. Okay, so it's technically three threads holding the pages to the cover, but that's still pretty sad. One time when I had it along for a car ride, I fell asleep while looking at it, and my head landed on one of the first pages. It was a warm day so my forehead was a little sweaty and stuck to the page. When I jerked awake, I tore the page and became rather distraught. (It's amazing how we remember our most traumatic experiences no matter how many decades ago they might have occurred.) Luckily, mama or somebody was able to fix it with some tape, and it was ready for service once more. When I learned how to write my name (kind of), this was the first book to get my ex libris mark. I eventually learned that when you ran out of space on one line, you continued on the left side of the line below instead of just circling around and heading back the way you came. I also learned you didn't turn your consonants backwards either when you were running in reverse. Well, give me a break; I was just a padawan! I couldn't have been more than 13 or 14 years old. At least I got the i and the e's right! Who are you to judge me?! I doubt a child in today's world with their tablets and swipey smart screen things could enjoy this anywhere near as much as I or any child born and raised in an analog world did, but they might. You know your kids better than I do, so you be the judge. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Nov 15, 2024
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Nov 16, 2024
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Nov 15, 2024
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Library Binding
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| B01F9G1WDS
| 4.15
| 263
| Sep 12, 1985
| unknown
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really liked it
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I'm going off memory with this one since this book and many others went away several years ago. The read date is a wild stab in the dark, but I know I
I'm going off memory with this one since this book and many others went away several years ago. The read date is a wild stab in the dark, but I know I read it several times in middle school. However, the story remains fresh in my mind since I watch the show every October. It's a shame they don't show it on TV anymore. In fact, I believe holiday network specials for kids have just about gone the way of the dodo.[1] Getting to stay up on a school night to watch one was a real treat, and the excitement really ramped up as soon as you saw this: Oh, yeah. Bring it on! Anyway, my best friend up the street and I loved Garfield, and although we don't talk but maybe once a year or so now, and even then for just a few minutes over the phone, we still throw out old running jokes, and a few come from this. "If you don't exercise with Binky, you're gonna grow up to be... WORTHLESS!" Oh, so that's how I ended up this way... Coulda, shoulda, woulda. Woops! And I don't care what anybody says, this is one of the scariest images I ever saw in my childhood. You can see Garfield and Odie giving my exact reaction. That old man is on the top tier with Large Marge... ...the Ghostbusters library ghost... ...and the Wicked Witch of the West. (I know this is technically the Wicked Witch of the East, but it comes to the same thing. Ye Gods, that cackle!) As for the book, it's pretty much the show in comic strip form. The plot is there, as are most of the jokes, but it misses something without the music, such as the dramatic musical stab when you first see the old man sitting in the chair shown above. Also, some of the exchanges don't translate well to the page. Take this one for example: A still picture doesn't convey the humor of them staring at each other then looking down; motion is required. It also helps if you can imagine Lorenzo Music's voice for Garfield. I can manage that, but sound doesn't come off the page. One thing I do remember about the book that apparently stuck with me through the decades is that the skull on the hat was pretty active with its facial expressions. This happened occasionally in the show (as you can see in the picture above), but more so in the book. My favorite part was when Garfield fell in the river, and the skull and crossbones swam away as the hat sank. This is a fun Halloween read for kids if you can find it cheap at a used bookstore. The ones I saw online were averaging around $18. It's not worth that. There were a few around $9, but it's not worth that either. Good luck. [1]: Don't even get me started on the Apple assholes denying the networks and PBS the Peanuts holiday specials. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Oct 20, 1990
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Oct 20, 1990
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Oct 19, 2024
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Unknown Binding
| ||||||||||||||||
| 077378053X
| 9780773780538
| 077378053X
| 3.84
| 491
| 1981
| 1981
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it was ok
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This wasn't good in any sense of the word, yet is also wasn't super terrible. First off, it's not a good story. Add to that subpar writing, and, well,
This wasn't good in any sense of the word, yet is also wasn't super terrible. First off, it's not a good story. Add to that subpar writing, and, well, it just wasn't good, like I said. There were plenty of short, choppy sentences and sentence fragments. I was wondering if Jack Martin was a screenwriter, because a screenwriter friend of mine once told me that's how that breed rolls, but I couldn't find anything on the internet saying that was his old profession. Mr. Martin also did a bit of question and answer style, possibly to build suspense, but it didn't work. Stuff like "was there movement in that shadow over there? It was hard to tell." Dude, just stop. Michael Myers was always referred to as "the shape," or "the darkness," and the like. He added a bunch of extra information, but it was too much and sometimes interrupted the action. He also tried to get deep and philosophical, and it just didn't work, though he did get deep in another sense of the word. There were flowery exaggerations which elicited a few eye rolls. E.G.: Mrs. Alves has been bled out. Here's how Jimmy saw it: "Blood was everywhere and spreading, enough of it to flow out into the streets and gutters of the world and soak the earth, drip by horrible drip." Again, just stop. It was just a big ass puddle on the floor, a gallon and a half at most since that's what the average human body has in it. It wasn't Noah's flood. I shouldn't be too harsh, because the story itself isn't any good, so Mr. Martin is working with subpar material. Don't get me wrong; I like the movie but only because it brings back fond memories of me and my college friends making fun of it. Seriously, most of it is so improbable that suspension of disbelief is strained to the snapping point. The book gives some explanations, and some of those help, but others just raise even more questions. Oddly enough, the TV cut of this puts some of these explanations in with just a line or two of dialogue, or a three second scene. Why couldn't the theatrical release use them? It might've added five or so minutes to the running time, but that's not too much. Here are some things that have always confused me about the movie. Why did the hospital turn out the lights at night? It's implied that Michael Myers killed the phones, but nothing is mentioned about him doing it to the electricity. Some of the lights are still on and the equipment is still running, so it's natural to assume the staff turned off the other lights, but that's not the case; it turns out the generator is running all that, but it can only operate half of the equipment. As for the hospital staff, they're the most incompetent and inept in the history of the world, except perhaps Mrs. Alves. Worst hospital ever, and that's saying something. Are Laurie and the babies in the maternity ward the only patients in the hospital? Where are the birthing mothers? Were they just sent home for a few days without their children back in the early 80s? Where are the Strodes? (Book explanation: Dr. Mixter saw them at a party he was at earlier, but nobody can find them after that.) Did they not hear about the murders at the house across the street where their daughter was babysitting? It was all over the radio and TV, and mobs are running around town trying to find Michael Myers. Did they just decide to take a powder? And the sister stuff. That has never sat well with me, but I accepted it as just being part of the story. I can't tell you how thrilled I was when the reboot which cancelled movies two through eight cut the sister plot line out with the line "No, that was just a rumor." THANK YOU! Anyway, that makes no sense either. How could Dr. Loomis not know about her existence? Documents sealed by the governor? Please! Christ, they even took the girl to the asylum where Michael was staying, and she wandered into his room. The parents didn't want her to see Michael and vice versa. Why take her to the place, then? And whom did everyone at the joint think this girl was? Oh, we just found her wandering around outside the house and decided to take her on a field trip with us to the nuthatch. Did everyone just forget about a two-year-old girl? Did Laurie forget about her former family? I mean, she was like five or something when her parents died and she was adopted by the Strodes. The movie doesn't bother to try to explain any of this which is a wise move because it's inexplicable. They insert a couple of sloppy flashback scenes which just leave the viewer confused. Fine. Whatever. The book tries to explain Laurie's stuff with memory loss, or something, but it just doesn't gel. But why all the adults either forget about or are never aware of a younger sister... Nothing. And Samhain... Again, just stop. BUT! There was one thing cleared up. How does Michael survive all his injuries? I used to assume he was just semi-invincible, but it turns out he actually dies from them and is then reborn a couple minutes later. I like that better, personally. That's supposed to be related to the Samhain shit in some kind of way, and I'd prefer if the explanation was left ambiguous, but oh well. However, this is a novelization, and those are supposed to kind of suck, so this is doing it right. My expectations were probably too high because I've been spoiled by some decent ones recently. Besides, this is just supposed to be shock schlock, and it manages that just fine. Well, the movie does, but the book leaves a little to be desired, so I can't recommend reading this. Just stick with the movie and hope that one day they do a mashup of the theatrical release with all its profanity, nudity, and gore, and the TV cut which provides lines and scenes that shed a little light on some confounding matters. The end result wouldn't be coherent, exactly, but it'd be a damn sight better than what we have right now. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Oct 12, 2024
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Oct 16, 2024
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Sep 16, 2024
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Mass Market Paperback
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| 0722125844
| 9780722125847
| 0722125844
| 3.38
| 52
| Oct 17, 1985
| 1985
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liked it
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Since this is a novelization of a movie with "the Movie" in the title, does that make this "Santa Claus: the Movie: the book?" Since reading Christmas Since this is a novelization of a movie with "the Movie" in the title, does that make this "Santa Claus: the Movie: the book?" Since reading Christmas books after the New Year is against the rules, I got this in just under the buzzer. I probably first saw this movie on HBO when I was eight or so, and we recorded it later after we got our first VCR. I was the right age for this kind of movie, and I remember when I thought of Joe as one of the big kids. He's 10 years old in the book, but I guessing this actor, Christian Fitzpatrick, is closer to 12? I really can't tell. This was his only acting credit save for a small part in Vice Versa (another underrated movie), and I can't find his birthday because the internet is slacking! The movie still holds a special place in my heart in spite of . (The poor thing has a 22% rating on Rotten Tomatoes... Ouch! Sure, it's pretty cheesy, but it's not that bad!) It was due to this movie that my sister and I started putting our letters to Santa in the fireplace to float away to the North Pole which my parents probably found incredibly convenient since they went to bed after we did, so they could look at the letters before Santa's magic grabbed them in the middle of the night and get some ideas about what we wanted. As far as the book goes, the screen to page translation is about as close a one as I've ever seen, but it's also better written than most super-strict transcriptions. Some novelizations read like a screenplay just barely put into a prose format. Others embellish and add scenes to the point that it's almost a different story. This one hit it just right by giving us just the movie scenes, omitting and adding very little, and making it read like an actual book. That doesn't mean it's great literature, but I enjoyed it. I put this on my "Child-Lit" shelf, but I'm not entirely sure if it belongs there. The sentence structure, vocabulary, and whatnot are just a tad advanced for elementary age children, but it's definitely a kid's story. If I hadn't seen this at the age I did, I don't think I'd have as much patience for its shortcomings. Santa Claus and magic aside, any adult could see that situations in this couldn't possibly play out the same way in the real world, and the cynical adult in me could really do a hatchet job on it. But adults aren't the target age group for the story, though I'm not sure most kids who are in that age range would be able to read it without help in a few places. The actors brought a lot to the roles. Since I've seen the movie a million times and still catch it every couple of years, I can't help but see them play their parts in my mind. I'm not sure how someone coming to this book fresh would see it play out. There was one big change, though. Patch the elf is is accidentally insufferable in the movie, and you just want to smack him on occasion for being a dodo. In the book he's an intentional, arrogant asshole, and I wanted to kick him in the head all the time. A couple of things he does alllllmost earns him the role of villain, and if it weren't for B.Z., he'd definitely be given the honor of being the chief antagonist. Dudley Moore brought some charm to the character that wasn't found in the book. This was my first exposure to Dudley Moore, and it was weird seeing him play such different, more serious roles when I got a bit older. David Huddleston played Santa, and I confess this is pretty close to the picture I have of Santa when I imagine him in my mind if I see him as a real person instead of a cartoon. And not that anyone cares, but he also played Sheriff Ep Bridges in The Homecoming. Oh, and apparently the big Lebowski which I've actually never seen. I know. Shoot me. His wife Anya is played by Judy Cornwell. I know her better now as the romance novel loving Daisy in the 90s Britcom Keeping Up Appearances, and it was also weird reconciling the disparities between the two characters. Burgess Meredith had a cameo as the ancient elf. This was long after his umbrella-toting, waddling days as the Penguin were behind him. But the one who steals the show is John Lithgow as B.Z. The opposite happens with him. I've seen him in several different roles, but every time I see one of those, my mind goes back to his over the top performance as B.Z. Make no mistake, it's not bad ham at all because it's exactly what it's supposed to be for this kind of movie; his performance is flawless and fits perfectly in the niche it's supposed to fill. I'll leave you with "" sung by Sheena Easton which plays over the closing credits. I know it never made it onto the Christmas hit parade, but I love it, and it's pretty eightiestastic. Enjoy. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Dec 22, 2023
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Dec 31, 2023
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Dec 20, 2023
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Paperback
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| 1721331379
| 9781721331376
| 1721331379
| 3.87
| 382
| Nov 21, 2007
| Aug 21, 2018
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really liked it
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My reviews to the individual books contained in this volume are linked below. The Night Stalker: ★★★★âœ� The Night Strangler: ★★★★âœ� This is a new experienc My reviews to the individual books contained in this volume are linked below. The Night Stalker: ★★★★âœ� The Night Strangler: ★★★★âœ� This is a new experience for me. I've never listened to an audiobook without having read it for real first. I can't multitask for shit. (I'm led to believe that most men can't and most of my women friends are definitely better at it than I am.) I have friends who could listen to a book while doing chemistry equations and tell you everything about both of them if you ask them about it later. I don't exactly trip while chewing gum and walking at the same time, but focusing on two cerebral matters at once is beyond me. So, the only time I listen to audiobooks is when I have a mundane task to perform at work (of which there are plenty at certain parts of the year) or when I'm driving sometimes. That way if I miss something because I have to actually use my brain to do something else for a few seconds, it's no big deal because I've already read it. However, these books are out of print and quite expensive. Luckily the audiobook was affordable, so here we are. I don't think I would've attempted a listen if I hadn't already seen the movies and knew that the books and the movies are quite similar. Besides, my thoughts about whether or not an audiobook counts as a real book normally run like this: But desperate times call for desperate measures, and it looks like I was willing to sell my soul in this situation. I guess it's true that everyone has his price. BUT! I will point out that whenever anyone asks how many books I read in a year, I let them know that my total count (which I pull from Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ stats) includes audiobooks which I don't think should really count. That's how I manage to get to sleep at night. Johnny Heller read both of these, and he did a great job. He's not on the top tier for my favorite narrators, but he's pretty damn close, and I think he did a better job with the second book. Or maybe I was just used to him doing Kolchak by that time. I couldn't get Darren McGavin out of my head for the first book, and my brain kept trying to paste his voice over Heller's. For the second one I pictured McGavin, but was fine with Heller providing the voice. Check these out if you enjoyed the movies or the old show. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Nov 30, 2023
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Dec 18, 2023
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Nov 29, 2023
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MP3 CD
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| 0671783432
| 9780671783433
| 0671783432
| 4.11
| 353
| 1973
| 1973
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really liked it
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I'm having trouble deciding on a couple of shelves for this book. Firstly, I'm not sure if this counts as a novelization and if I should consider it s
I'm having trouble deciding on a couple of shelves for this book. Firstly, I'm not sure if this counts as a novelization and if I should consider it such. I'm going to go with "no," but I could be wrong. The made-for-TV movie Kolchak: The Night Stalker was released first and the novel followed, but the novel was written before the movie was made. Rice was having trouble getting it published, but some agent read it, thought it'd make a great movie, and so they went that route. The novel wasn't published until after the sequel movie, Kolchak: The Night Strangler, was released because the powers that be wanted both books to be in the one and two spots for the publisher's list in 1974. The novel for Kolchak: The Night Strangler is definitely a novelization because Rice wrote it based on the screenplay for the movie, pretty much the reverse of this one. But this? I don't know. What are the rules for a movie that comes out based on an unpublished novel but the novel comes out later? Next is the "liked movie better" shelf. The story is the same in both the book and the movie with minimal changes, so I can't use my "they're a little too dissimilar" cop-out. The book is grittier, has a bit of profanity which is well placed and doesn't shy away from some seedier aspects of life in Las Vegas. Since the movie was a made-for-TV deal in the early '70's, it had to tone down a lot of that. However, Darren McGavin stars as Kolchak, and he makes that thing work, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. His interactions with his editor, the police, and just about anybody is a treat to watch. The character of Kolchak is great in the book, but if I had read it first, I don't think I would've seen the extra dimension McGavin brought to the role. As it is, I saw him playing out his part in my head in spite of the fact that the narrator didn't sound anything like him. This is a very tough call, but after looking at this paragraph, I think I'll say I liked the movie better... for now. The decision would be easier if the movie was just a bit grittier like the book. However, one shelf decision that's easy-peasy is the "dead dog warning" one. Said shelf exists because a friend who is a huge dog lover hates seeing dead or injured dogs in her books, so I do this for her benefit. I'm not sure why I continue since she hasn't been on this site for four years as of this month (12/23), but since the shelf is there I reckon I'll keep it updated. However, my friend should never, ever read this book. There are more dead dogs in this thing than any other book I've ever read if you're talking sheer numbers, and a couple of them die rather horribly. You have been warned. This story concerns a vampire in modern day... well, modern when it was written... Las Vegas. Kolchak is a newspaper reporter who is able to believe the unbelievable. This comes in handy when the unbelievable turns out to be true. In fact, Kolchak is the only person in this with a lick of common sense, and almost everyone else is infuriating. I don't believe that vampires exist myself, but if I saw a supposed 70-year-old man clean the clocks of the entire police force, take about 30 bullets without batting an eye, and escape cars and helicopters at a flat-out sprint without getting winded, it would behoove me to consider that maybe, just maybe, we're not dealing with a regular man here. So, why not try the anti-vampire techniques? You know, just give them a shot and see what happens since nothing else has worked so far. If they don't work either, what's been lost? The powers that be don't see it that way, and Kolchak has to deal with that knowing that he's been right the whole time. It really pisses me off, but being so tied up in it is the sign of a good story. And the ending enrages me to the point that I thought my head would explode, but I won't go into all that. I wonder what kind of vampire Skorzeny is. Father Callahan from Salem's Lot and the Dark Tower Series identifies three different types. Type ones are the big, bad dudes like Dracula who live for centuries, can do mind control, shape shift, are super strong, super intelligent, wily, etc. Type twos are strong, can make other vampires with a bite, but aren't all that bright, can't do the other supernatural shit, and don't tend to live very long. Type threes are mostly human, can move in sunlight, eat food, etc. They drink blood and can put their victims in a trance while they're sucking on them so the victim doesn't remember being bitten, but that's about it. They can also die from more ordinary means and aren't injured by crosses and holy water. Skorzeny must be something between a one and a two because he's strong, and has type one and two weaknesses, though I don't remember him making any new vampires in the book. However, he's much smarter than twos, but doesn't seem to have the mind control and shape shifting abilities of ones. Does that make him a 2.5? Or maybe a 1.5? How about a one minus or a two plus? I don't know. Does anyone really care? I don't know that either. Regardless, this was a great book. Finding an affordable physical copy is impossible, so I had to go with the audiobook. The narrator did a great job. He didn't sound anything like Darren McGavin, but that's fine. Check it out. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Nov 30, 2023
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Dec 05, 2023
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Nov 29, 2023
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Paperback
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| 4.15
| 8,818
| Oct 1979
| Oct 1979
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really liked it
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HD Film Tributes music video: by John Carpenter. I'm the only person I know who has the soundtrack to this movie on CD. My friend
HD Film Tributes music video: by John Carpenter. I'm the only person I know who has the soundtrack to this movie on CD. My friends used to make fun of me over the fact, and well they should. Firstly, if you have a copy of this, hold on to that shit, and save it for some rough times! The cheapest one of these I could find was $250, which is well out of my price range. I mean, shit, that's like a car payment! Or at least it used to be. Fortunately some unscrupulous soul has done and so that this unscrupulous soul could read it. You know, I took an ethics class in college. It must not have made much of an impression. Oh well. This was fantastic, at least for a novelization. The story in the book and the movie are pretty much the same, scene for scene except in the beginning. It gave some background information about Michael that let us know what the hell was the matter with the boy. , I've got a knife, yes. I've got a knife that's shiny and new. I'm gonna stab my sister in her boobs; That's what I'm gonna do. I liked those scenes. However, it also gave us scenes from his point of view which let us know what he was thinking, and I wasn't all that keen on that. In the movie, Michael kills his sister and then shuts up for the rest of his life. When he gets stabbed or injured in any kind of way, he does it Timex style by taking the licking and keeping on ticking. (Well, after a brief fainting spell to reset himself, but nobody's perfect.) He also attacks everyone Charlie Chaplin style: silently. (Except for his breathing. Like I said; imperfect.) He's always there, and his victims have no intimation of his coming. I find the silence and mystery much more menacing than any noise and explanations. I always thought of him as a kind of Jaws who just stalks and kills. (Kind of like a !) There isn't really much rhyme or reason behind it; it's just what he does. The book gives us his POV and thoughts from time to time, and that kind of lessens the terror you get in the movie. It humanizes him a bit, and one of his most terrifying traits was his complete disconnect from humanity. He also talks for the first few years in the institution, and he's usually grunting when physical exertion requires it. This is certainly terrifying since he is killing your ass, after all, but doing all that silently seems scarier to me. Also, we learn that Michael Myers often has a raging boner when he stalks his prey, and nowhere in this book does it mention that he takes care of it. I'm sure you know what this means. If the boy had just learned how to jack off, he could've gotten everything out of his system, and about 90 people would be alive today. (See comments section below). We won't count his sister Judith since he was only six then, and masturbation is a skill typically picked up during adolescence, but surely he should've learned how to wax the bishop sometime in the following 15 years. I was 12 myself when I stumbled upon this vital, life-saving skill, but I had some friends who started as young as 10 and two who claim they were 18 before they gave in to temptation. (One of them I actually believe.) But Michael was fucking 21 years old and must've had blue balls from hell. No wonder he was so pissed off! This is recommended just for die-hard fans of the movie who would like a little bit of extra background info. The book is quite good, but the movie is better. Appendix from the Damn Fool Archives: Back in the MySpace days... Hi! Oh, look! It's my first social network friend, Tom, come to say how-do! Anyway, as I was saying, back in the MySpace days, I did three blog entries tallying up Michael Myers' kills, and I eventually copied them over to Facebook a few years later, and I saved all those notes when I got off Facebook about 10 years ago. Back in 2006, the internet didn't have this information, though it's since been added at some fan sites, and those counts differ from mine by a couple of deaths. They're probably right, and I'm not going to argue with them since I really don't care. I'm going to post my blogs in the comments section complete with spelling and grammatical errors (and possibly some bad math). They cover the original run of movies from Halloween (1978) through Resurrection. Making sense of the franchise since then has gotten confusing. There are 13 movies now, but not all of them relate to each other. You can watch the first series which has seven movies, (movies one and two and four through eight; part three is always ignored since Michael Myers isn't in it, but it still technically counts as a Halloween movie due to the title.) Or you can watch the second series which is movies nine and ten and counts as a reboot. (I don't recommend this.) Or you can watch the third series which covers movies one and 11 through 13. (Movies two through ten were kicked out of the band to make this work.) One can only hope that they are now done with this madness. Enjoy. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Oct 15, 2023
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Oct 18, 2023
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Oct 04, 2023
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Mass Market Paperback
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| 0307124002
| 9780307124005
| 0307124002
| 3.38
| 8
| unknown
| Jan 01, 1990
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really liked it
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Looks like Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ doesn't have a cover for this version of the book, and once again I have to do all the heavy lifting around here. Stand by. Looks like Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ doesn't have a cover for this version of the book, and once again I have to do all the heavy lifting around here. Stand by. There. This is the junior novelization. The only reason I have it is because either sent me the wrong book or I accidentally ordered the wrong one; I disremember which. I was just going to send it to 2nd and Charles, but I never got around to it. I came across it again last night, had a little bit of time to kill and said "What the hell? It's only 64 kiddie pages," and here we are. Now I can send it away guilt free since I don't plan to reread it. This is a very condensed and scaled-down version of the movie and Max Collins' novelization with some of the more adult parts taken out. In short, it's perfect for a 10-year-old which is the target audience, so four stars it is. (The chapters are so short I was able to read a whole one and sometimes more during commercial breaks for Svengoolie.) It might be worth five stars when considering said audience, but I just can't bear to give this the fifth star when the other novelization, which is awesome, earned only 4.5. Alas. ...more |
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Aug 26, 2023
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Aug 27, 2023
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Aug 26, 2023
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Paperback
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| 0440403227
| 9780440403227
| 0440403227
| 3.86
| 166
| unknown
| Mar 01, 1990
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really liked it
| Cue the ! Most of this review will be me reliving the many fond memories I have of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and pointing Cue the ! Most of this review will be me reliving the many fond memories I have of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and pointing out how awesome they were, but first I should probably talk about the book. This is a novelization for kids, so I hold it to lower standards than I do novelizations for adults and, dare I say it, real books. It's pretty much the movie scene for scene, line for line (mostly) with very little variation and pretty simple sentence structure, etc. Well, at least I think it is. My memory may be a little faulty since I haven't seen the movie in several years, though I watched it a million times in sixth and seventh grade, and I intend to revisit it soon... I think I have it on DVD... At least I used to before my sister's kids moved in for a few years... Stand by. ... Well, confound it all! No DVD. I still have part two (The Secret of the Ooze), TMNT (which I'm not sure I've ever seen; I got it for my oldest nephew 15+ years ago), the first five episodes of the 1987 cartoon series which makes its own kind of movie, and Turtles Forever which was actually really good. (I haven't been able to make it all the way through the newest ones. Thanks, Michael Bay, for turning so many of my favorite childhood franchises into crap.) But there's no original movie here anymore... Damn kids! Well, it's now in the Amazon shopping cart for later, so there! Anyway, if this book were intended for adults, it would suck, but it's perfect for the target audience of late elementary age children, and it was nice to relive a favorite childhood movie in my head for an hour or two without actually having to watch it (which works out well since I don't have it anymore). Sometimes a bit of brain-dead entertainment is just what the doctor ordered. I don't know how this would be for someone who hasn't seen the movie, though. I won't bother with the plot since you either know it or you don't, and if you don't, you probably don't care. And really, just watch the movie. There's no reason to seek this out unless you're an old-school Ninja Turtle nut on a novelization kick. (Review, such as it was, is over now, so feel free to depart.) The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles didn't have quite the same impact as Batman did on my life, but it did have a bigger impact on my early adolescence. My Batman obsession has been a lifelong thing, but I eventually grew out of the Turtles. However, when I was 11 years old, it was Turtles, Turtles, Turtles all the time for a good year or two, and it all started with the 1990 movie upon which this book is based. After seeing it, mama took me to the arcade for the first time, and in there was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game which I believe is the best co-op arcade unit ever made, even better than X-Men. I think this is as about as far as I got the first time I played it. Rocksteady was the boss for the first level; I might've beat him and gotten killed at the start of level two, though. After the initial trip, mama or daddy would drop me off at the arcade for a while since watching an 11-year-old play video games didn't hold much appeal for a grown-up. However, a love for the arcade started with this trip and this game, and playing it with friends was a load of fun, especially when you had all four turtles fighting Shredder at the end because there were two Shredders for every turtle, and you could be fighting eight Shredders at once! I'm not sure obsession begins to describe what happened to me. Turtle paraphernalia slowly invaded my life, right down to my breakfast cereal which I couldn't get enough of. Unlike its Batman counterpart, this was actually really good, mostly because it was pretty much Corn Chex with marshmallows, and how could you go wrong with that? Since Donatello was my favorite, my outdoor play usually consisted of a bamboo bo staff which I smashed on anything I could whack. On my walks home from summer school, I let my imagination run wild, and fought mailboxes that threw fireballs at me, brick columns that turned into monsters, mud monsters, parked cars that would try to run me over when I got close, a willow tree that tried to grab me, and all kinds of other weird shit. All of it could be deflected with a stick I would find near the beginning of my trip. (What the neighbors thought of this lunatic kid walking down the street swinging a stick and deflecting fireballs back on whatever was firing it at me I'll never know; they were too polite to yell something sensible like "Hey, stupid! What the hell are you doing?" My indoor play consisted of play fighting with friends or cousins TMNT style until we broke a piece of furniture whereupon we were tossed outside by the parental units, or playing with Ninja Turtle toys which I collected for a couple of years. My school notebooks were loaded with drawings of Ninja Turtle related characters in the margins, and said characters would show up in other places. I am embarrassed to say I still have some examples of these because I seem to be a pack rat... This first thing was a sixth grade art assignment where we had to draw a creature with a certain number of legs, mouths, horns, heads, etc. Trying to fight this monster is a pre-mutated Bebop, and there might be a foot soldier above him, but I'm not sure about that. For another assignment (this one in seventh grade, I think), we had to enlarge a wrapper or package for something. I chose a Hostess Turtle Pie which is the best thing Hostess ever put out. Not because it was Ninja Turtle related, but because it was frickin' delicious! There were several different variations of the wrapper. Naturally I picked one with Donatello. This was probably the best thing I ever did in art class, or at least the best drawing enlargement/pastel coloring project. (Clovis, my paper mache Holstein cow head was pretty sweet.) I wasn't great at drawing freehand which should be painfully obvious with this next thing also from seventh grade art, a four panel comic strip. This is a scene straight from the Turtles cartoon show. Vernon and Irma are at... sigh... "Mike's RestRaunt..." (It's a miracle I ever got out of middle school.) Anyway, he tells her he wants the seafood fresh. A tidal wave crashes through the window and suddenly he has a crab hanging from his nose and says "yucky poo." Irma asks if that's fresh enough for him. Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck. Franchise related scribbles also showed up in my sketchbook: That's not Krang, exactly, but it has his head and visor, and there's some kind of quadriplegic driving him. However, there's more than a hint of Roy Bot/Hot Head Harvey from the Garbage Pail Kids in there too. Why the person getting attacked thought it adequate to bring a Wiffle Ball bat to this fight is beyond my ability to explain, but I think it was at this point in my life that my parents started saying "the boy needs help," and signed me up for therapy. I also have a notepad from yesteryear that I've never been able to force myself to throw away which has more fine art. Here's a blue mouser "munch, munch, munching" on Leonardo's severed arm. (The boy needs help, indeed.) And a red Mouser "chomp, chomp, chomping" on a table leg which has decided it's too good to heed the laws of physics or gravity. Here's Krang asking "Why are you wasting your time on big mouth mouse traps when you should be building my new body." A just question. Here you go. And here's an assortment of Turtle enemies and some of their accessories: But wait a second, where's Rocksteady? There he is, though I think he needs to spend less time on his legs at the gym since they seem to have outgrown the rest of him. I also got the TMNT comic books and even sent in a drawing of a mouser. (I hope it was better than the ones above, but I kind of doubt it.) They sent me a card or letter back thanking me for the picture (I don't know where that is so it probably got lost or tossed a some point). I don't know if it ever got printed in the back with the other fan art because I stopped collecting them the following month or two and there was at least a couple month delay for showing that stuff. Did I mention I was obsessed? ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 18, 2023
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Mar 19, 2023
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Mar 10, 2023
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Paperback
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| 0590411950
| 9780590411950
| 0590411950
| 3.31
| 36
| 1987
| Aug 01, 1987
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really liked it
|
Disclaimer: This review discusses both the movie and the book since they're the same story, but first I go off on comic book movies from the past deca
Disclaimer: This review discusses both the movie and the book since they're the same story, but first I go off on comic book movies from the past decade or so, not to mention a couple of other things. It was 1987. Starship had given us , and suddenly everything was out of whack in the spiritual realm. We were about attain utopia, and as nice as that may be in theory, it's unnatural; humans can't handle it and greater evil always ensues in the end though it may take years or decades to get there. Recognizing the eventual danger to humanity, The Cannon Group brought us Superman IV: The Quest for Peace to reorient the scales before they completely tilted, and balance was restored. However, a sacrifice is always required to pull off such a feat, and, well... Boy, did they ever. Look, this movie catches a lot of flak, and it deserves it because it's just downright bad in many ways (it fits squarely in the "so bad it's good" category), but I still think it's better than any of the Superman movies that have come out since. That's right. I said it. It's entertaining which is a claim 2006's Superman Returns can never make. It's also fun, and while the Zack Snyder/Henry Cavill Superman films may have great production value, they aren't a lot of fun to watch... At least, I don't think they are. I've seen only parts of Batman vs. Superman and haven't seen the two Justice League ones at all; that's how apathetic I am about the Superman movies now (as well as all other new comic book movies, now that I think about it). My age (44) might have something to do with it, but I don't think that's it. I am, after all, still a kid at heart in many ways. (E.g. I loved Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny which just came out a couple of months ago.) But these new movies are just giant Easter Egg hunts about a bunch of shit I don't give a damn about, and they're made with video games in mind (you can tell a lot of the dialog is phrased a certain way just so it can be used as a soundbite in a video game later, and so it often sounds clunky in the movie). As a result, the story suffers. Also, comic book movies seem to be made for adults instead of kids now. The first four Superman movies could be enjoyed by both young kids and adults. (I should know; I loved Superman II when I was a wee tot.) I'm not sure how much kids enjoy the new ones, and I suspect most of their enjoyment is for the flash and bang of it all (which explains my love for The Dukes of Hazard when I was three years old), but there are definitely adult themes in them that are beyond a child's comprehension. Plus, aren't most of these movies now PG-13? And I think some are even R.[1] In spite of all its shortcomings, Quest for Peace doesn't have any of those faults. It's comic book schlock for 10-year-olds which is what comic books were intended to be when they were conceived. Superman IV might be the last comic book movie to hit that sweet spot (though I understand an argument can be made for Batman Forever and Batman and Robin). I guess you could call them Golden Age movies, but everything else is darker. Whether or not that's a good thing is up to the viewer. Hell, I love the 1989 Batman more than any other comic book movie. I always have, and I first saw that when I was 10 years old. But, something changed with that one. A Pandora's Box was opened for comic book movies then, and suddenly the target audience was grown-ups instead of kids, or perhaps kids and grown-ups together. This was okay with me through the Nolan Batman trilogy, but then it shifted again. Now you have to be in a special niche to adequately enjoy any of the movies, that of a super fanboy, and most of these seem to be adults. I see kids watching the movies too, but they don't seem to get into the same windy arguments about every little minor detail. Or maybe I just don't know enough kids, or they don't talk about it in front of me. Regardless, it's multiverse mayhem, and I'm afraid I just don't have the energy or desire to keep up. Shit, someone posted a list of how to watch the FIFTEEN DC universe movies in chronological order so that they'll make sense. Fifteen! But that's really just for amateurs. If you want to venture into the Marvel world, well then by golly, you better buckle up for... Are you ready for this?... Okay. 40! 40 frickin' movies! (That includes eight that haven't been released yet. Yes, they have eight more baking for you for the next couple of years). The X-Men also have 14 movies, and it looks like one of those coming up (Deadpool 3) might cross over to the Marvel movies. I don't know, and I actually don't care enough to research it further. The point is, this is sick. Sorry for going off on a tangent, (not that those of you who are familiar with my reviews weren't expecting it). Back to this book/movie. I was eight when daddy took me to see Superman IV in the theater, and I probably owe him an apology for that. (He's not one to enjoy that kind of thing even when the production quality is fantastic, which it wasn't here. To top it all off, it was also really stupid. And now that I think about it, I probably owe amends to him for taking me to see The Secret of the Sword [the He-Man and She-Ra movie]. We went on the spur of the moment when he noticed I was getting bored at the Nascar race we were attending, though truth be told, I think he was bored with it as well. I bet he was in agony at the movie, though.) Damn, another tangent! Okay, this time I'm in earnest. Back to the book/movie. At that time this was the best comic book movie I had ever seen. It's now in fourth place behind the other three Superman movies in my personal ranking (though part III sometimes gets that honor; it depends on the day). Viewed through my more discerning, grown-up eyes, I can now see all the flaws and acknowledge that it's pretty rough. But doesn't that prove that this is for kids, and that as a kids' movie it's fantastic? My friends and I played this out, and I always wanted to be Nuclear Man. (I know, I know. Please don't hold it against me. I was only eight, for Christ's sake, and Nuclear Man was so powerful which is something my eight-year-old self loved; give me a break)! I got this book from the Scholastic catalog in... I guess fourth grade? I tried to read it back then, but my reading skills weren't all that great, and I gave it up after a few chapters over as many days. I flew through it in a couple hours yesterday, though, so it's nice to know those skills have improved. I got rid of my original book a few years ago just to buy it again a few months ago because I got on a novelization kick. Does that not also suggest something? No!... Okay, well maybe, but that's not the point. It suggests that the story is entertaining enough that I was willing to repurchase it, even the kids' version of the book. Of course, having a predilection for kiddie lit might also be a requirement for enjoying this, and I'm sure nostalgia is at work here too. But if you can tap into your inner child (which is not difficult for me), then you, too, can enjoy the book and the movie. (Seriously, though, just watch the movie unless you've got a hard-on to do a book/movie comparison. And really, only through the movie can you appreciate the totality of the story's glorious awfulness. You can get a feel for it from the book, but it's sepia by comparison; the movie lays all the flaws out in wonderful digitally remastered technicolor.) I made a couple of notes as I read which I'll leave here. Looks like I noticed how one thing echoed real life. In 1976, Gerald Ford said he wouldn't bail out New York City, and the Daily News ran this headline: Eighth grader Jeremy asks Superman to help with world nuclear disarmament, and Superman says he can't interfere due to Kryptonian rules. Sensationalist reporters interview Jeremy, and he merely tells them "I wish Superman had said 'yes.'" The next day the Daily Planet (according to the book) ran the headline "SUPERMAN TO KID: DROP DEAD!" I thought it was a nice touch, and I'm pretty sure that's how it was set up in the original script. I can't explain why the movie altered the headline. Maybe it was a legal technicality, but it was probably something stupid since the movie was in the hands of morons just trying to turn a buck (with the exception of Christopher Reeve who's heart was really in this. I just wish I knew where his brain was). If you want a feel for issues that were important during the mid 80s, mostly nuclear war, then you'll definitely get it here, but I discuss that in my Swan Song review which actually refers to this movie. This is dorky and incredibly naive. At one point Superman marches up to the UN to address the delegates. The General Assembly, he knew, had in it representatives from nearly every country in the world. The faces and clothes he saw represented a vast array of cultures, religions, languages, and nations. But as he looked at them, he knew that they were also united in their hope for peace in the world and in their excited anticipation of his message.He then tells them... Jeremy stands up and cheers, then all the delegates join him. Give. Me. A. Break. This movie introduced me to because Lex sings an altered line from it. Why I thought this was important enough to jot down in my pad, I have no idea, especially since the line isn't even in the book. This PSA was missing from the book: And if you think that's bad, wait till you get a load of the closing lines in the book. Superman has taken Jeremy up into outer space to show him the Earth as Superman sees it. Never mind that the kid hasn't frozen to death, or that he'll be burned to a cinder during reentry, and that he can breath in space, or that they can hear each other just fine; it's not important. "Jeremy, I need you to tell the people of the world what you see," Superman said.Oh Jesus, please us. [1] Internet friend explains all this in several of his blog essays. He's more passionate about it than I am, and he articulates it all better than I could ever hope to (he's a self-described recovering screenwriter, so he can explain all the subtle nuances). Reading his stuff helped me to realize why I felt the way I felt about a couple of matters. Just want to give credit where credit is due. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Aug 25, 2023
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Aug 26, 2023
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Mar 10, 2023
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Paperback
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| 0440404517
| 9780440404514
| 0440404517
| 3.50
| 54
| Mar 01, 1991
| Mar 01, 1991
|
liked it
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Well, I guess this kind of sucks? I don't know. I loved this movie even more than the first one when I was a kid, but the story is just kind of eh, an
Well, I guess this kind of sucks? I don't know. I loved this movie even more than the first one when I was a kid, but the story is just kind of eh, and dorky, and dumb, and pretty nonsensical when viewed through my more scrutinous adult eyes, and the first one is definitely better. None of this is the fault of the author, B.B. Hiller, who does an excellent job of presenting this to her target audience which is late-elementary age kids. My 12-year-old self would've thought this was the bee's knees. Like the first book, this is pretty much the movie scene for scene, so just watch that if you want the story. If that's too much to handle (and I confess that it's a tall order), then just watch this four minute which is a scream and summarizes the movie while pointing out its inanities. Looking back on my childhood, I sometimes wonder what I was thinking. Stephen King tells us “You know, schizoid behavior is a pretty common thing in children. It's accepted, because all we adults have this unspoken agreement that children are lunatics.� I'm going to chalk this next bit up to something like that. I used to think the was the best thing I had ever seen in my life up to that time... But then I remembered some Star Wars stuff and came to my senses. Seriously, Tokka and Rahzar have to have learned their fighting skills from . Why did I think they were so awesome? I guess because they were big and strong. However, whoever played the turtles are damn impressive when they're fighting the foot soldiers and dancing later. They're in these big, bulky rubber suits under movie lights and everything. I mean, they've got to be roasting, their mobility is hindered, and they still put on a show like that. Wow. As for Vanilla Ice... Well, Jim Carrey , though I admit "Ninja Rap" is a guilty pleasure. "Go ninja, go ninja, go" was actually running through my head as I left work today since I had looked it up last night so I could include it in this review. There's a pond just outside the building that I pass on the way to the parking garage, and some large turtles reside there. I hardly ever see them, and don't think I've seen them in a year or two, however three of them were hanging out just outside the water today. I went closer to look at them, and they got back into the pond just as the "go ninja, go ninja, go" part of the chorus came around in my head again. I reckon I ruined their sun bathing. This is apropos of nothing, but I still thought it was a neat coincidence, and it was a nice end to a semi-trying day. I may not have a great deal of sense in many matters, but I'm glad I have sense enough to appreciate moments like that when they come along. ...more |
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Mar 19, 2023
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Mar 22, 2023
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Paperback
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| 0552992291
| 9780552992299
| 0552992291
| 4.20
| 2,885
| 1985
| 1985
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liked it
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HD Film Tributes music video: by Huey Lewis and the News. And a memory stirs... I was singing this once at YMCA after school care in
HD Film Tributes music video: by Huey Lewis and the News. And a memory stirs... I was singing this once at YMCA after school care in... I reckon it was fourth grade? Anyway, I'm prone to randomly burst out in song from time to time, and for years I would do it in front of others.[1] Brian Niedermayer witnessed one of these soulful serenades as I belted out, for no reason, "it's the power of love," and he said "Ew!" I zipped up posthaste since I figured I must've done something uncool, which was, and continues to be, my natural habit. I was concerned about such things as coolness back at the age of eight or nine, and for many years after, though I'm happy to report I've made a full recovery from that handicap... What a pointless and stupid memory, especially since I haven't seen Brian in over thirty years; he disappeared between one school year and another in middle school, hopefully for no reason more nefarious than moving to a new school district, but I'm currently listening to It by Stephen King, and now I wonder... Anyway, this was pretty good... unless you've seen the movie, in which case it's just kind of... wrong. Gipe also novelized Gremlins, and either his style didn't bother me with that one, or I was just in a different mood this time, but something's a bit off here. There are some books that don't translate well to the screen. The reverse can also be true, and that's what we have here. If you're familiar with the movie, you can't unsee the performances. This is my hapless predicament since I can nearly recite this movie line for line verbatim from start to finish. Gipe did a great job making a book for people who had never seen the film, but something is off if you're familiar with the source material. And really, I don't see how some parts of the film can be put on the page. For example, how do you put George McFly's laugh in a book? It can't be done, at least not in any meaningful way. And even if it could, it would never be able to touch the scene on the screen. I think Gipe knew his limitations and didn't even try to novelize those parts, though George ended up being even wimpier than he already was as a result. The actors brought so much to the roles that it's impossible for any author to properly novelize the performances. But that doesn't mean this is a bad book. Just drop the expectation that it's going to be as good as the movie, and you'll be okay. Gipe is a decent writer. He added things that work well for a book, but I'm damn glad they were left out of the movie. If you're someone who has never seen the film but is interested in the book, you could really enjoy this. (I imagine that's a very small group, though.) This doesn't mean the book is perfect. There were a couple of continuity errors, and another round of editing could've helped polish it up a bit. I'm guessing the deadline got to him, but he still did a great job. Also, Gipe was at a bit of a disadvantage here. There were some big changes between the screenplay and the finished film, but all Gipe had was the screenplay. Luckily some of the stuff that made it to the book stayed on the cutting room floor for the movie. They had actually filmed that ridiculous scene with Marty starting a fire in detention so he could get released early, but they didn't film it with Michael J. Fox, and that brings up some fun movie trivia. Marty was originally played by Eric Stoltz, and they had actually filmed most of the movie when Eric was let go because he was playing it too seriously. You can still see him in some of the scenes such as when Biff is trying to run him down with his car... (This is a 5'11" man, not the 5'4" Mr. Fox) ...and when Marty's trying to outrun the Libyans. (You can see him in the car if you look close enough.) The fist that pops Biff in the diner is also Eric's. The Marty in the book is kinda Stoltzy... I guess. He definitely ain't Foxy... Anyway, I can't unsee Michael J. Fox, or Christopher Lloyd, or Crispin Glover, or Lea Thompson, or Thomas F. Wilson in their roles, and as it's impossible to put their performances on the page, poor Mr. Gipe doesn't have a chance, but I'm giving him an A for effort. There was one amusing bit that lands pretty flat in... um, the enlightened... year of 2024. Marty is sharing with Doc Brown his concerns about having to hit on his mom and possibly take liberties with her when he says "this is the kind of thing that could permanently screw me up!... What if I get back to the future and end up being gay? It sounds like a little thing, but copping a feel from your mother could change a guy's whole life." Yes, I suppose that's true, but I think that situation is more of an oedipal predicament, not a sexual orientation issue. Marty's pretty smart about some things, but he sure is stupid about others. I enjoyed this book, and I'm glad I read it, but if you're looking for the best readable version of the story, go with the original by William Shakespeare: Get Thee Back to the Future. [1]: This is now a private pastime unless I'm with someone I'm comfortable with, which pretty much means nobody is privy to these often off-key, albeit entertaining, snippets of song unless I'm in a good mood and not feeling too self-conscious. ...more |
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Feb 19, 2024
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Feb 25, 2024
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Jan 28, 2023
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| 5551376109
| 9785551376101
| 5551376109
| 4.14
| 1,102
| Nov 01, 1989
| Nov 01, 1989
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it was ok
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Winner of Pierce's 2024 Razzie 1.5 stars rounded up to two. God, this shit sucks a pygmy's rectum. I think I have to face the fact that I am never going Winner of Pierce's 2024 Razzie 1.5 stars rounded up to two. God, this shit sucks a pygmy's rectum. I think I have to face the fact that I am never going to like Gardner's prose. It's not absolutely terrible, but it's pretty damn close and extremely obnoxious. Every character sounds the same. Marty sounds like Doc, who sounds like Biff, who sounds like Jennifer, who sounds like the Joker who sounds like Selina Kyle, who sounds like Batman... You see? It doesn't even stop with this book series. He gives every character from whose point of view we're seeing things the same stupid, chatty, inner-monologue. And the exclamation points! He must've gotten them wholesale! They were everywhere! I've never seen such an excited writer! Thank God this isn't a difficult read. I'm committed to reading the whole series, and Gardner did part III as well, but I intend to soldier through. He also wrote the novelization for The Lost Boys, and I suspect you'll find the same thing over there, but I have no intention of reading it myself to find out. George Gipe wrote the first book, and while it had its issues if you've seen the movie, it's actually well written (as far as novelizations go). He fleshed out scenes, added some stuff, took out other things, gave some depth to the characters (even if the characters weren't quite right when compared to their movie counterparts), etc. Gardner didn't do any of that and stuck to the screenplay, but then he made everyone a contradictory idiot. As for the story, it's not as good as the original, and it spends some time echoing scenes from the first movie. (E.g. the confrontation in the diner and the ensuing hoverboard chase.) Also, there are plot holes galore, like how Biff got back to the same 2015 that he left after giving the book to his 1955 self. Shouldn't he have ended up in an altered 2015 where he was king of the world, or something? I'm actually not that interested in it, though. If I start picking apart every instance of "that couldn't possibly work in time travel" in this story, I'd fill up the rest of this review space and still wouldn't list everything. You should see some of the internet arguments over it though. People sure do get up in arms about it. It's funny to think that we're now (2024) further away from the time setting of the original movie (1985) than they were to the past they went to (1955). We also passed their future setting (2015) nine years ago. Bizarre. 30 years seemed like such a long time when I was a kid. Now that I'm 45, it's a mere two thirds of my lifetime. I think this was my favorite movie in the trilogy when they came out (I was 11 years old and impressed with the special effects; cut me some slack, Jack), but now it's my least favorite. I still love all of them, and will always watch them, but this ranks third. As for the book, I don't know... Actually, I do. Don't read this. Just watch the movie instead. ...more |
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Feb 25, 2024
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Mar 2024
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Jan 25, 2023
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Mass Market Paperback
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| 0590333062
| 9780590333061
| 0590333062
| 4.06
| 634
| 1984
| Jan 01, 1984
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really liked it
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Preread note, 2/10/23: In the "readers also enjoyed" section on my Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ page for this book: This is apparently beastiality dinosaur porn Preread note, 2/10/23: In the "readers also enjoyed" section on my Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ page for this book: This is apparently beastiality dinosaur porn... I'm anxious to find out what in The Karate Kid could possibly create a link between these two books. It would have to be one hell of a departure from the movie I know and love. Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ also suggested The Queering and Viper (which seems to be about some woman hooking up with some kind of snakeman)... Scratch "anxious." I'm now pretty nervous. Real review, If you're still reading, let me put your mind at ease about the matter mentioned above. There are no triceratops, or dinosaurs, or reptiles of any kind in this, nor is there any pornography. Daniel and Ali kiss a couple of times, once in a shower costume, but not in a real shower, and that's about as steamy as it gets. The "readers also enjoyed" section now lists two of the Back to the Futures and a couple other novelizations, so I guess Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ got itself fixed. B.B. Hiller does it again! (She did it before with Superman IV, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles one and two.) She nails writing a novelization for the older elementary/younger middle school age range about as good as anybody, and 10-year-old Pierce would probably give this five stars. Unfortunately, 45-year-old Pierce is writing this review, and he's a grumpy old cuss at this time of year and will be until April 15th, so he's going with three, or perhaps or 3.5 stars, with a bonus due to how much he loves the movie. As usual, this is just the movie in print based on the screenplay with a few minor changes, and it was fun watching it play out in my head. Daniel's not quite as bratty, and he has a better relationship with Lucille (his mother), or at least he's more understanding with her. He's less of a shit with Miyagi as well. Ditto Ali. However, I wouldn't change anything in the movie. The actors bring an extra dimension to the characters that's kind of missing in the book, especially Martin Kove as John Kreese, one of my favorite movie villains. Being a knitter, someone with such an abominable attitude naturally rises to the top of my love-to-hate list, but in spite of that, this movie is one of my faves though it didn't start out that way. I've always liked it just fine, but it was just a good flick when I was a kid. The older I got the more it grew on me, and now I love it and always turn it on if I see it on TV. Since they show it all the damn time, I'll run through it a good dozen times a year. It hits me in the feels pretty good, and it's one of the few movies that can make me tear up. I can't explain why. I used to just say it was because the boys were being so mean to Daniel, but that wasn't the reason at all. It's just what I came up with when someone asked me "why" once. However, it's more tears of joy than anything else. At he end I'm just so happy that he made it and then Johnny comes around and gives him the trophy and says "you're alright, LaRusso," and I don't know, I just get misty eyed... That's actually not the most embarrassing thing, though. I went to see it at the Byrd. September 2, 2017 at 10AM if you care; I have the ticket stub laminated (along with my parking receipt [$7.00!!!] for my 20th high school reunion which I can't believe was eight years ago), and I use it as a bookmark from time to time. Of course I had to use it for this one. Anyway, I started getting emotional when this came on the screen: Yes, the Columbia lady with no music at all (it doesn't start for several seconds) touched the fount of my tears, though I managed to dam them up again before I became a blubbering mess in front of the rest of the audience, WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME???!!! Thankfully the book didn't hit me quite as hard, or really at all, possibly because there's no Columbia lady in it; I don't know. Odd as it may be, the is the big winner for bringing on the nostalgia if not exactly the waterworks. I'm not entirely sure why since I've never been on a date in that kind of setting that I recall. I did used to go to such places, though, and while they haven't gone the way of the dodo just yet, they do seem to be on the wane. Perhaps I'm just pining for my old carefree youth that I didn't know was carefree at the time. I do miss those times with some of my old friends, but I'm from the generation that considered skating in circles while a DJ played music to be a wild night out, and one of the big challenges was to keep pace with the lights on the floor reflected from the disco ball when you went around the curve at the end of the rink... Sorry, I was waxing nostalgic. No, waxing nostalgic. NO! I better wrap this up before I get more invaders. Here are a few songs from the soundtrack which was pretty good. I think was the only one released as a single, but it made it to number nine on the Billboard Hot 100 and number eight in the UK. Aside from , other gems include and ... Okay, maybe "gems" is laying it on just a little thick, but damn if I don't love them because the sound doesn't get much more 80s than those. However, all of them must stand in awe of which is the song you need when you absolutely, positively must kick ass. The Piercevoodle has spoken. ...more |
Notes are private!
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Mar 22, 2024
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Mar 26, 2024
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Jan 17, 2023
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Mass Market Paperback
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| 0425122409
| 9780425122402
| 0425122409
| 3.90
| 481
| 1990
| Jun 01, 1990
|
liked it
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2.5 stars rounded up to three. Or maybe a real three. I don't know, and it doesn't matter. Gardner has improved... I guess. The writing was much less
2.5 stars rounded up to three. Or maybe a real three. I don't know, and it doesn't matter. Gardner has improved... I guess. The writing was much less obnoxious than in part II, though it still had its annoyances. For example, he started almost every section from Doc's point of view with "Great Scott!" I know he says it a lot in the films, but Jesus, dude, give it a rest. I think this novelization was closest to the movie out of all three, but there were a couple of changes, one of them quite surprising. (view spoiler)[Buford Tannen murders Marshall Strickland by shooting him in the back. I guess this was changed so the movie didn't have to go to a PG-13 rating, but that's just me thinking out loud. You know, instead of guessing, I could research it. Stand by... ...Okay. That scene was filmed but deemed too dark for a family film, and it was cut. This explains why the deputies arrest Tannen instead of Strickland. It also explains why the camera cuts away from the deputy talking when he says Tannen's under arrest for "robbing the Pine City Stage," because he actually said "the murder of Marshal James Strickland," and it was dubbed over. I had never noticed that before. (hide spoiler)] Also, Marty meets a seven or eight-year-old D.W. Griffith. It's just one quick scene, not even a page, but it begs the question "why?" It was pointless. Sure, Marty mentions the word "movie" in front of the kid, but it adds nothing to the book. I wonder if that part was also in the original screenplay. This movie might be my favorite in the trilogy (it depends on the day). That doesn't mean it's the best, just the one I like and enjoy watching the most. I confess that I have a soft spot for some westerns, so that should be taken into account. I remember my dad taking me to see this in the theater when I was 11. I was getting hip to how movies were done at that age, and I kept making predictions about what would happen next, such as "I bet there will be real Indians there when he goes back in time." Daddy finally asked if I had seen it before. I said no, and might've even shut up about the rest of it. Let's face it though; these things are pretty formulaic and like to echo each other, so it's not hard to see what's coming. However, this book was not my favorite in the trilogy. While the annoyances were dampened compared to part II, they still distracted me from simply enjoying the book. As sad as it is to say, part I was the best book even though Gipe messed up the characters if you've seen the movie. At least I wasn't rolling my eyes and groaning over the quality of his prose. Gardner can't make that claim. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 2024
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Mar 03, 2024
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Jan 17, 2023
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Mass Market Paperback
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| 0590402927
| 9780590402927
| 0590402927
| 3.62
| 130
| 1986
| Jan 01, 1986
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liked it
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This was my favorite movie in the trilogy when I was a kid, but I have since come to my senses. I've always had good sense regarding the third one, th
This was my favorite movie in the trilogy when I was a kid, but I have since come to my senses. I've always had good sense regarding the third one, though. It sucks and even my 10-year-old self knew it when it came out. It cast a bucket of cold water on 1989 which was otherwise a bumper crop year for movies (as long as you also ignore Star Trek V: The Final Frontier). I've seen part three in its entirety once, and seeing the last 20 minutes or so a couple of years ago has reaffirmed that one complete viewing was more than enough. But this isn't the third book (which I won't be reading), this is the second, and like its predecessor, it does just fine for what it is: a kid's novelization. Like with the first one, the actors bring something extra to the roles they play, and it's easy to see the extra dimension on the screen but not so much on the page. Still, this isn't striving to be great literature. It's just telling a story for elementary/middle-school age kids, and it pulls that off, no problem. As for the story itself (I'm going to go more into the movie here), it tries to recapture the magic from the first film, and it doesn't quite do it. It's kind of cliched, and dorky, and eh, though I didn't feel that way about it when it came out. Like I said, it was my favorite back then. My less discerning eyes didn't see the silly, improbable parts and just enjoyed the ride. I still like the movie in spite of its shortcomings (parts of it drag, also), but the first one is far superior. I think I liked Chozen more as a villain than Johnny, and that was a major part of it. One other thing I've noticed in rewatches is that 22-year-old Ralph Macchio could pull off a 15/16-year-old in 1984, but 24-year-old Macchio can't quite do it in 1986. Oh, sure, it's not as bad as 27-year-old Steve McQueen playing a high schooler in The Blob (which is just a joke), but it's clear it was time for Macchio to graduate to slightly older roles. As for the soundtrack, I'm afraid it pales in comparison to the first. However, part two gives us the best song from any of the movies: Peter Cetera's which went to number one in four countries, including the US where it stayed for two weeks. Aren't I supposed to talk about the book on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ? Damn, another misplaced review. ...more |
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1
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Mar 26, 2024
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Apr 03, 2024
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Jan 09, 2023
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Paperback
| ||||||||||||||
| 0553285289
| 9780553285284
| 0553285289
| 3.58
| 308
| May 01, 1990
| May 01, 1990
|
really liked it
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4.5 stars rounded down to four. I want to give it five stars because I loved every minute of this, but... is five stars allowed for a novelization? It
4.5 stars rounded down to four. I want to give it five stars because I loved every minute of this, but... is five stars allowed for a novelization? It's definitely nowhere near as good as other things to which I've assigned five stars. Does it deserve to be associated with such distinguished company? No. And yet... I know. I'll consult Shardik. He'll know what to do. Stand by while I flip the coin. Tails, so at 4.5 the rating will stay. Phew. I'm glad that's over. There isn't any coin flipping in this though there should've been because coin flipping is totally a depression era gangster thing to be doing, and this story is the epitome of mobster yarns. Seriously, just look at these peeps. I won't deny that I love this movie, though I only watch it once every three of four years since they never show it on TV and I need to get out the DVD. It should be the model of how to do a comic book (or comic strip) movie. Not too serious and not too silly. It's juuuuust right. Plus it has the best I've ever seen. Yeah, so what if the bad guys couldn't hit water if they fell out of a boat; it's still visually stunning cinema. Add to that the stellar performances by Al Pacino, Warren Beatty, Madonna, and several others from the who's who cast, and how can you not love it? Due to my infatuation with the movie, I'm not sure if I can be objective with the book. I saw the film version of the characters in my head while reading, and they played their roles perfectly in my mind. Would someone who had never seen the movie be able to enjoy this book based on the book alone? I have no idea; my experience was tainted from the start. Still, this kind of reads like the other hardboiled books I've read, so I reckon Collins did it right. (Apparently it was much more hardboiled in the original draft, but the producers forced him to tone it down.) There were very few changes between the screenplay upon which this was based and the novel, and all of them minor except one. (view spoiler)[In the movie we find out that Breathless Mahoney is The Blank, but that info is not in the book. (hide spoiler)] This means that my book is a first edition. The filmmakers were trying to keep The Blank's identity a secret and used Darth Vader "No,-I-am-your-father" level security around it, but come on. I mean, it's not that hard to figure out. I saw it in the theaters with a couple of cousins, and one of them said he knew who it really was from the first time we saw him. Turns out there's a later edition of the book that puts the full ending in, but that is apparently pretty rare and rather hard to find, so I doubt I'll ever be reading it. It also turns out that Collins made a ton of changes in his original draft to make the characters and scenes truer to the originals in the comic strip (Collins wrote the strip for 15 years, so he should know), but the filmmakers said "cut it out, stick to our story even if you don't like it all that much. We want the movie and book to match up pretty closely." (For further details, see this .) He still ended up liking the movie a lot, but thinks the book could've been better. That's probably true, but as for me, I loved the book because it let me relive the movie in my head. Another thing I like about the book are the subtle touches to prohibition/depression era life. At one point Itchy tells Tracy "Say goodnight, Tracy" which is probably a nod to George Burns and Gracie Allen's "Say goodnight, Gracie" line. (If it isn't, then it should've been.) In short, Collins did a fantastic job with this. I really would like to see his original draft, but he's not even sure where it is. Alas. As usual, I can't discuss a movie novelization without mentioning movie music if the music in the film is good, and so I'll leave you with some music notes. No, not those, doofus! Danny Elfman's score is great, but it's the soundtrack pieces which titillate me the most with this one. Actually, since we have a gangster theme and coin flipping going on here, MJ, would you do the honor and kick it off? Thanks. Madonna isn't my favorite person, but I love most of her music, and she was perfect as Breathless Mahoney. Her I'm Breathless album includes the songs used in the film (as well as which is in a class all its own.) It showcases Madonna's versatility as a singer that was hitherto subdued even though she'd already had seven number one hits on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. This is best exemplified in . It was never released as a single which is a shame because it won an Oscar for best original song. I don't know how it would've done on the charts since it definitely doesn't have any kind of 90s feel to it; this kind of arrangement belongs in the distant past. Stephen Sondheim wrote it along with which is just a load of fun. Another song he wrote which wasn't on Madonna's album (because Madonna isn't in it) is which is even more fun. Madonna wrote a "Back in Business" song which is on the album, but it wasn't energetic enough for the scene it needed to accompany, so it didn't get used. (It actually has a "Tomorrow Never Dies" by Sheryl Crow feel to it for some reason. Maybe it's the chord progressions; I don't know.) It's still a good song, but using the Sondheim number instead was definitely the right way to go. Final analysis: This was a great book, but the movie is still better. It's not a time waster, though. ...more |
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1
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Jan 14, 2023
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Jan 21, 2023
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Jan 09, 2023
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Mass Market Paperback
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| 0440204607
| 9780440204602
| 0440204607
| 3.46
| 179
| Jan 01, 1989
| Jun 04, 1989
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it was ok
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Read in The Ghostbusters Movie Novelization Omnibus. This started out alright, but really went downhill fast at the end. This was based on the screenpl Read in The Ghostbusters Movie Novelization Omnibus. This started out alright, but really went downhill fast at the end. This was based on the screenplay, and I suspect the deadline crept up on Naha faster than he anticipated, because the ending was really rushed. I like the movie Ghostbusters II though it can't hold a candle to the first one, and I recognize that it isn't all that great. Like with the first one, once you take away the actors, sets, effects, etc., the shortcomings are pretty glaring. The story is fine in the first one, but the story for this... phew. It doesn't make a great deal of sense, and a lot of it is just stupid. First off, the stuff with Slimer is downright retarded, and what the hell happened to Janine? Where did the slime under the city come from? Was it always there? Did Vigo call it forth? Or did the slime cause Vigo to become more powerful? How did the Ghostbusters get everything prepared for their Statue of Liberty gig in just a couple of hours? How did Louis know where to find the Ghostbusters when they were missing? There is so much in this that just doesn't add up. And as for the ending, all you have to do to beat the bad guy is to squirt him with some happy jizz you scooped out of the sewer? Yeah, give me a break. Anyway, the other book was better written. This one reminded me of the novelizations I've read from Craig Shaw Gardner due to the conversational tone, and that ain't an endorsement. The dialogue was bad, the lines were bad, and the characters were messed up compared to their movie versions. Venkman is more of a buffoon, and Dana is just wrong; she's way too weak. I never realized how much the actors brought to these roles, and the guy who played Vigo brought even more than the others. Turns out he was also allowed to be the janitor. I guess even he saw where his career was going with this ridiculous script and decided to look for another line of work. Actually, this is Wilhelm Von Homburg. His life story isn't exactly a happy one, and he spent the last several years of his life homeless, sleeping at the YMCA or in his van or couch surfing at friends' houses. I guess being a Carpathian didn't pay the bills for very long. There is one redeeming quality in this book, though. The courtroom scene is easily the best one in the movie, and parts of it are even better in the book. A couple of Louis's extra exchanges with the judge are hilarious, and I wish they had put those in the movie as well. However, there were also a couple of parts of that scene in the movie that weren't in the book, and there could've been a better mashup. A couple of scenes in the movie now make sense since I got some background information from the book. I always wondered why they were taking the slime out of the microwave in one scene. It turns out they keep it in the refrigerator when they're not testing it. The scene with the Ghostbusters doing some kind of light show that shatters a lot of crystal at a jewelry store never made sense to me because I couldn't figure out why they were allowed to put on a demonstration there. For that one, the crystals were being levitated by some spirit, and the Ghostbusters were using that device to restore gravity. I guess you can say it worked though they could've been better prepared with some pillows, or something. All in all, don't bother with the book. Just watch the movie instead unless you want to see a couple of changes between the screenplay and the movie. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 11, 2023
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Feb 15, 2023
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Jan 09, 2023
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Mass Market Paperback
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| 0812585984
| 9780812585988
| 0812585984
| 3.68
| 196
| 1985
| Aug 1985
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liked it
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Read in The Ghostbusters Movie Novelization Omnibus. First, I need to get something off my chest. Shouldn't it be "whom are you going to call?" I'm no Read in The Ghostbusters Movie Novelization Omnibus. First, I need to get something off my chest. Shouldn't it be "whom are you going to call?" I'm no grammarian, but ain't that the way you're supposed to sling it? Probably, but I reckon that wouldn't be anywhere near as much fun. Just like wouldn't've done anywhere near as well as it did had it been recorded by The Guess Whom, but I digress... as usual. This is another book where it is impossible for me to separate the movie from the story in my head. I've seen the movie so many times I can practically quote it line-for-line from start to finish. It's actually one of the most quotable movies from the 80s, but unfortunately it's not a quotable book. (More on that in a moment.) I can't read this objectively because I saw the actors acting out everything in my head, but I suspect anyone reading this who hadn't seen the movie first (if such a person exists) would be unimpressed. Much of what makes this story great is the camaraderie between the actors, the sets, the special effects, etc. In short, the production makes the movie work, and once you strip all that away, what's left is underwhelming. I was expecting this to be terrible based on some reviews I had seen before I started, but it wasn't. Heck, it wasn't even bad, really, but I wouldn't call it good, either. Mostly, it left me a little confused. Not the story; the story is fine. I'm confused about some of the choices the author made. This isn't the first Ghostbusters novelization, but the second. Larry Milne wrote the first, and that was a strict screenplay to page dealio like most novelizations. I don't plan to read that one, and opted for this one instead since people said it expanded on the source material, and I thought that might be neat. This was written a year after the movie came out, so Mueller had great material to work with, but he kind of botched it. Most noticeable was his refusal to use profanity or anything remotely close to it in the dialogue. As a result, a lot of great lines (or even mediocre ones) lose all their charm. Let's play a game. The images below show the quotes as they appear in the book. See if you can identify what's wrong with them in relation to the accompanying scene in the movie. The answers appear at the end. 1. "The effect? I'll tell you what the effect is. It's pissing me off!" 2. "What the hell are you doing?" 3. "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!" 4. "Oh shit."* 5. "What an asshole." 6. "Your mother!" 7. "Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll turn you white!" 8. "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick." Why? What was the point of such inane changes? It can't be because vulgarity wasn't allowed in his contract, because he uses "ass" at least once. After Walter Peck has the power shut off, everything goes to hell in a handcart. They're standing outside, and "Peter Venkman had nothing to say. He simply turned and knocked Walter Peck on his ass." But you'll never find it in the dialogue. "Damn" was even altered in one scene that isn't in the movie. Ghosts have wreaked some havoc at a movie theater and the screen goes black. One of the moviegoers shouts "You jerkbag, fix the demn theng." This theater is one that shows bad sci-fi or pornos, depending on the day, and that brings up another point. While Mueller refuses to be crude with his language, he has no problem getting crude with some of his content. I can't find his age, but based on some stuff I saw on linkedin, I'm guessing he was in his late 30s when he wrote this, but it reads more like it was written by a 16-year-old boy. Basically, he's a bit of a pervy horndog. Venkman considers rubbing his foot along a female students' leg at the beginning while she's doing that ESP test. You know, foreplay for what he really has in mind. Some of Egon's equipment look like sex toys. And how about what everyone is thinking the first time we see Dana? Several people notice her, comment on her physical attributes, and one "old duffer out walking his schnauzer gazed at Dana and remembered how long it had been since it had been long." This kind of stuff is all over the book, but no profanity, so it's not like he was trying to stay out of PG-13 territory. Again, I confess myself confused. There was some backstory on all of the main characters, but in the end it was pretty pointless and didn't add anything. Venkman was born in a traveling carnival family and was a carny barker when he was a kid. Stantz was estranged from his brother and sister (mostly due to Venkman being an ass), though that was backstory about how he had his parents' house to sell. Again, this adds nothing, but most of it is so short that it doesn't detract from the story either. Harlan Bojay and Robert Learned Coombs are two homeless peeps who often just happen to be where the action is taking place, and they seem to serve as a Greek or Shakespearean (not to mention unnecessary) chorus for the reader. I'm glad they were left out of the movie. And now we come to Walter Peck, or rather the EPA in general. I. Hate. The EPA. It's not Walter Peck's fault, but I imagine everyone in that organization is probably like him. I hate it even more right at the moment because all I want is a stupid bathroom faucet with decent water pressure, but everything now is 1.8 gpm max flow, and it is just pitiful (it used to be 2.2, and there is a world of difference between the two). Plus they design things specifically so you can't repair them without tearing them all to pieces and you're forced to buy an entire new faucet when all you need is a fucking $0.25 o-ring. (I don't think that part is the EPA's fault, but I don't care; they can still eat shit and die.) Anyway, anyone who works for the EPA (and a few other government bureaucracies) should have this happen to them every single time they step outside every single day: Then they should encounter this every time they step indoors:** This will force them to run back outside and get creamed by 20 tons of marshmallows again. Eventually, they will be so sick of that and being terrified by the ghost, that they will take a page from Andrea's book, and just... ...and the world will be a better place. I have spoken. One thing I really liked about the book was the addition of a quote preceding each chapter. They could be from any source, but they were all applicable to scenes coming up. Here are a couple of faves. "Some people are so fond of ill luck that they run halfway to meet it." -Douglas Jerrold "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." -Emerson "If a sane dog fights a mad dog, it's the sane dog's ear that is bitten off." -Burmese proverb (You can ask Evander Holyfield about the veracity of that one.) "I hate all bungling like sin, but most of all bungling in state affairs, which produces nothing but mischief to thousands and millions." -Goethe PREACH IT, BROTHER! Final thoughts: This wasn't bad, but if you're already familiar with the movie, just stick with the movie. If you're not familiar with the movie, just watch the movie. You can't even use this for the old stand-by academic reason to compare what changed between the screenplay and the finished film because this was written after the fact. It's pretty much fan fiction. * When I was a child, I used to think the hand came out of the chair and clamped over Dana's mouth because she had said a bad word... Children are stupid. Or maybe it was just me. ** Not that you asked, but that damn library ghost was one of the three things on TV that used to make me jump in my mother's lap when I was young. The others were Large Marge on Pee Wee's Big Adventure and the Wicked Witch of the West. P.S. Since I'm going over childhood memories, give the a listen. This was my favorite song to hear at Golden Skateworld and never failed to get me back out on the roller rink. Why? I have no idea. It's not like I skated any differently to this song than I did to any other except "The Chicken Dance" where you pinched your fingers, flapped your arms, wiggled your ass, and if you were me, then landed on it before you had a chance to clap the last measure. Ah, those were the days. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 02, 2023
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Feb 11, 2023
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Jan 09, 2023
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Mass Market Paperback
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| 3.52
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liked it
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Dec 11, 2024
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Dec 01, 2024
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| 4.23
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it was amazing
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Nov 16, 2024
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Nov 15, 2024
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| 4.15
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really liked it
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Oct 20, 1990
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Oct 19, 2024
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| 3.84
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it was ok
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Oct 16, 2024
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Sep 16, 2024
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| 3.38
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liked it
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Dec 31, 2023
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Dec 20, 2023
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| 3.87
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really liked it
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Dec 18, 2023
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Nov 29, 2023
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| 4.11
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really liked it
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Dec 05, 2023
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Nov 29, 2023
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| 4.15
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really liked it
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Oct 18, 2023
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Oct 04, 2023
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| 3.38
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really liked it
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Aug 27, 2023
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Aug 26, 2023
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| 3.86
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really liked it
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Mar 19, 2023
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Mar 10, 2023
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| 3.31
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really liked it
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Aug 26, 2023
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Mar 10, 2023
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| 3.50
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liked it
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Mar 22, 2023
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Mar 04, 2023
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| 4.20
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liked it
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Feb 25, 2024
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Jan 28, 2023
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| 4.14
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it was ok
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Mar 2024
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Jan 25, 2023
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| 4.06
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really liked it
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Mar 26, 2024
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Jan 17, 2023
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| 3.90
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liked it
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Mar 03, 2024
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Jan 17, 2023
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| 3.62
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liked it
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Apr 03, 2024
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Jan 09, 2023
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| 3.58
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really liked it
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Jan 21, 2023
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Jan 09, 2023
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| 3.46
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it was ok
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Feb 15, 2023
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Jan 09, 2023
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| 3.68
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liked it
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Feb 11, 2023
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Jan 09, 2023
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