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Paul Bryant's Reviews > The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson
The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson
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by
I felt a sneeze - as big as God
Form in - back of - my Nose
Yet being - without - a Handkerchief
I Panicked quite - and froze
Sneeze I must - yet sneeze - must not
Dilemma - made - me grieve
Happy then - a single Bee
Saw me - use - my sleeve
Well all right, I did not read every one of the 25,678 but certainly a fair number. You know when she died they found she'd stuffed poems everywhere in her house, up the chimney, down her knickers, tied in little "packets" onto her dogs' hindquarters, someone cut a slice of a loaf of bread to make a sandwich and another 25 poems fell out. I think Emily would have made a great drug mule if she'd have lived another 120 years. Although she may have found a serious conflict between her intense religious convictions and the large amount of cash she would have made, not to mention the radical change of lifestyle.
There's - a certain - slant of - light
On - winter afternoons
That makes - you feel - high
Like - those - small - mushrooms
I put - a poem - in my pants
Then sitting - by an Eternal Lake
My poem - seemed - to speak aloud
"Lay off - the Battenburg - cake"
Form in - back of - my Nose
Yet being - without - a Handkerchief
I Panicked quite - and froze
Sneeze I must - yet sneeze - must not
Dilemma - made - me grieve
Happy then - a single Bee
Saw me - use - my sleeve
Well all right, I did not read every one of the 25,678 but certainly a fair number. You know when she died they found she'd stuffed poems everywhere in her house, up the chimney, down her knickers, tied in little "packets" onto her dogs' hindquarters, someone cut a slice of a loaf of bread to make a sandwich and another 25 poems fell out. I think Emily would have made a great drug mule if she'd have lived another 120 years. Although she may have found a serious conflict between her intense religious convictions and the large amount of cash she would have made, not to mention the radical change of lifestyle.
There's - a certain - slant of - light
On - winter afternoons
That makes - you feel - high
Like - those - small - mushrooms
I put - a poem - in my pants
Then sitting - by an Eternal Lake
My poem - seemed - to speak aloud
"Lay off - the Battenburg - cake"
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Dickinson's "I taste a liquor never brewed" was a highly misrepresented poem in my brain for a long time,until i analysed it to be about her spiritual intoxication of nature.
Paul, they'll say the same about your reviews one day.People will keep finding new shelves and arguing about the meaning of their titles, especially the Beatles one, because no-one will listen to the Beatles any more and they will think it must contain drug references.
I like the poems Jude and Praj have referred to.
Mon dieu!I nearly soil myself whenever I read your reviews!
Thank you for sharing your wit and humor!
thanks Jim... some people you just have to have a little bit of fun with
Your parodies are marvelous! As are the trivia about where she stashed her poems--or did you make those up? Her dog's hindquarters? Makes a good story anyhow.
I think she did stash her little booklets of poems here and there, but in slightly more conventional places...! and thanks for the compliment!
This as good - as DickinsonBut nay - in truth I jest
Had I to choose - between the two
Your version, sir - is best
In the narrow domain of poems about blowing your nose on your sleeve (as opposed to wearing your heart there), I think Paul has Emily beat.
Did you know that all Emily Dickinson poems can be sung to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas"? I love the hearty, square-dancy effect this gives to "Because I could not stop for Death..."
Kate wrote: "Did you know that all Emily Dickinson poems can be sung to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas"? I love the hearty, square-dancy effect this gives to "Because I could not stop for Death...""
That's true, isn't it!? Well I'll be dipped...
I can hear Mitch Miller and the boys and girls now :Because I could not stop for death
He kindly stopped for meeee
By jings, it could be a hit.
Dear Mr Miller,I know you're dead and all, but I was wondering if anyone at your company would like my song. It's got everything - Emily Dickinson, Bruce Springsteen, Meatloaf, Haruki Murakami, the Shangri-Las. Phil Spector said, if we could get him out of jail, he'd love to produce it.
The Carriage Held But Just Ourselves
It's a town full of losers
And a street full of boozers
So Jane asks what's my problem
Can't she see I'm one of them?
I've been living at the bottom of a well
I've gotta escape like a bat out of hell
In the night I can let off a little steam
So I mount my suicide machine
Embrace the runaway American Dream
Except I didn't hear the sirens scream
I was thinking of Jane's glossy pout
When she cried, "Look out! Look out!"
Because I could not stop for death
He kindly stopped for me
I was the leader of the pack
But now I'm gone.
Ian wrote: "Dear Mr Miller,I know you're dead and all, but I was wondering if anyone at your company would like my song. It's got everything - Emily Dickinson, Bruce Springsteen, Meatloaf, Haruki Murakami, th..."
It's got a good beat, but you can't dance to it...
Jim wrote: "It's got a good beat, but you can't dance to it... "Ha ha. They'll have to fix that in "post".
Ian wrote: "Jim wrote: "It's got a good beat, but you can't dance to it... "Ha ha. They'll have to fix that in "post"."
I nominate Kate to make a video of Emily Post set to Yellow Rose of Texas and up load it to youtube... maybe with a 10 gallon hat, Emily Post spinster dress, and snakeskin boots...
maybe she could do a rap version of Molly's soliloquy from Ulysses as well.
Paul wrote: "maybe she could do a rap version of Molly's soliloquy from Ulysses as well."Mashed-up with Missy Elliot's "Get Ur Freak On"
this review made me almost actually really lol,so that's saying a lot. thank you!
Paul wrote: "Thanks Diane - I have more fun with Emily herehttp://www.goodreads.com/review/show/..."
thanks paul. fun stuff!
-If you will give me paradiseI'd fly up in the sky-
-and sing unto the little birds
A simple lullaby-
-If you will give me smelly socks
I'd cut them into shreds-
-And tie them into little bows
Of ribbons for your head-
Alright, ok, no more post on this for me.
a perfect way to start the day - thanks Steven
Paul, I love your reviews. You're so witty and clever, not to mention a fantastic writer yourself! Thank you for always putting a smile on my face :)
thanks Megan - I'm surprised I haven't been attacked by hoards of furious Emily fans. But maybe they think she's worth a parody too. There's a recent biopic which I must see. I wonder what ED would have thought of it. Hmmm
Paul wrote: "thanks Megan - I'm surprised I haven't been attacked by hoards of furious Emily fans. But maybe they think she's worth a parody too. There's a recent biopic which I must see. I wonder what ED would have thought of it.
Anyone with a soft spot for poetry and poets like yourself would have loved it.
Anyone with a soft spot for poetry and poets like yourself would have loved it.
thanks - anyway if attacked by Emily Dickinson fans I could easily wave a doily at them and they would immediately disperse.
To a discerning eye;
Much sense the starkest madness.
’T is the majority
In this, as all, prevails.
Assent, and you are sane;
Demur,—you ’re straightway dangerous,
And handled with a chain.
or drug fantasies, apparently.