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*spoilers alert*

*Warning! Overuse of the word fuck (courtesy of Ms. Maas who uses it freely in this book). If you have problems with swearing, do not read this review*

Buddy read with my partners in disappointment: Katerina & Vera. Yay, we are freed from under the Mountain at last! And a special hug goes to my dear friend Simona (click on the names to see girls' reviews) You were right, dear, reading this book and, especially, discussing it is so much fun, indeed.

First of all, let me show to you a simple diagram, where you can see how the level of my engagement toward this book...uh, plummeted (actually I wanted to make the diagram more vertical, but, well, I am not good with graphic stuff) with every chapter until nothing was left for me to enjoy.

And let me tell you it was a rather bumpy and painful ride.

Now, let's clarify a few things:

- I am not a fan of ACOTAR. You can see in my review why.

- I had few expectations starting this book... ah hell, I had THE ONLY expectation - Rhysand.

- I do not hate this book, I dislike it. <----- I am close to hating it now.

This review is probably going to be a mess of thoughts with no structure, so I am sorry in advance if it's confusing, I just wanted to splash out my disappointment.

I liked Rhys in the previous book; I liked his darkness. I knew he was not evil and had his reasons to act as he did, and I wanted to know why. I wanted him and Feyre together. But turns out, me and Rhys are never going to happen, not because he acts OOC (out of character) - after finishing the book, I know that he didn't act OOC - I dislike his sugary nature; there's too much goodness in him, he is practically a Saint: hell, he is the Saint among Fae!

“We are lucky to have him, Feyre.�� I turned from the door. “I have known many High Lords,�� Amren continued, studying her paper. “Cruel ones, cunning ones, weak ones, powerful ones. But never one that dreamed. Not as he does.��
“Dreams of what?�� I breathed.
“Of peace. Of freedom. Of a world united, a world thriving. Of something better—for all of us.��

Of course, the other High Lords are stupid, they don't see the war coming, they are not interested in peace and prosperity, only Rhys does everything, and no one wants to listen to him. Poor baby. And let's not forget he is the strongest Fae out there.

Here—here was the most powerful High Lord ever born.
The face of dreams and nightmares.

Only throughout the book, there was more than one situation where his "mighty" powers let him down. The question: why make him so powerful, impossibly so, if a little bit of vulnerability could've made him more real and likable, and suited the plot better. It's unnatural to be that good. He became a cardboard character with no backbone and lives only to serve Feyre, it seems.

But, fuck, it wasn't even my biggest issue. I hated how Maas compared Tam and Rhys in this book all the time. I never liked Tam, but, seriously, how much shit you can splash on one person before he turns into shit himself? I pity Tam and what Maas did to him. Time and again Maas shoves down our throats how Rhys excels Tam in everything: Tam didn't want to talk to Feyre about his nightmares. Rhys wanted to talk and share. Tam never held her hair while she vomited her guts out every night (she does it a lot, by the way, nauseatingly so). Rhys held her hair and cuddled her:

He never woke when the nightmares dragged me from sleep; never woke when I vomited my guts up night after night. If he knew or heard, he said nothing about it.

Large, warm hands pulled my hair back a moment later.
“Breathe,�� Rhys said. “Imagine them winking out like candles, one by one.��
I heaved into the toilet again, shuddering as light and heat crested and rushed out of me, and savored the empty, cool dark that pooled in their wake.

Tam locked her up in the house and forbade her to participate in any action. Rhys allowed her to do whatever she wanted. Tam didn't let her visit his rooms. Rhys invited her to his;

With Tamlin, he’d kept his own rooms and slept in mine. And I supposed—I supposed it’d be the same.
I was almost to my bedroom door when Rhysand drawled from behind me, “We can use your room if you like, but �� �� He was leaning against his open bedroom door. “Either your room or mine—but we’re sharing one from now on. Just tell me whether I should move my clothes or yours. If that’s all right with you.��

Tam is starving his people. Rhys's people prosper (he probably gives them food for free). Tam said there are no High Ladies in Prythian. Rhys made Feyre High Lady of Night Court. Comparisons were in EVERYTHING like the author couldn't stop shoving up our asses how Tam is lesser than Rhys in every aspect you can think of. And all this is solely for Feyre to make it easier to dump Tam and switch to Rhys.

Then there's Feyre and her love sex life. Feyre said that she fell for the first guy who showed kindness to her.

I’m thinking that I was a lonely, hopeless person, and I might have fallen in love with the first thing that showed me a hint of kindness and safety.

But she can't - wouldn't - admit that it wasn't love that she felt for Tamlin. She, time and again, repeats it was love: she loved and sacrificed and then forgot the guy in two months' time. I would've respected her more if she admitted that it was lust.

He buried his face in my neck and said onto my nape, as if the words would be absorbed by my body, as if he could only say it the way we’d always been good at communicating—skin to skin.

Why feel guilty about wanting another male? But no, Feyre is Mary Sue, she can't be the simple girl who had a change of heart. She loved but had serious reasons to fell out of love. Easy-peasy. Heck, I would've respected her more if she was an elite prostitute serving High Lords and choosing her next lover without shame or labeling lust as love. But she is a hypocrite and I hate hypocrites. It leads me to my next issue.

Feyre/Rhysand. Honestly, I don't believe Tam loved Feyre, no, they just had a comfy agreement: fuck but don't ask questions. Rhys, on the other hand, I believe he really loved her. What about her? No. I am still not convinced it was love from Feyre's side; lust - yes. Again, Feyre has a pattern: when Rhys was a bad guy, she hated him, but when he started doing good stuff for her, she realized how good he is, how kind (don't forget this all is in comparison with Tam like we are stupid kids and can't fathom the universal truth: Rhys is good, Tam is bad); Feyre doesn't "love" Rhys despite his flaws, she "loves" him because he has no flaws. Mr. Purrfect Perfection. And when she finally admits she wants him, she still acts like a hypocrite by saying, "But I loved Tam, deeply, I just don't any longer, because he treated me badly (I still don't get how splashing some paint on walls and locking her up once is abusive and the reason to easily fall out of love)." Did you love him indeed? I want to ask for the thousandth time. Feyre just says she loved him to find an excuse to fuck Rhys. And that leads us to their mating bond.

When Feyre finds out they are mates, she relaxes and thinks, "Fuck, what a relieve now that I know Tam and I was never going to happen, I don't have to feel guilty any longer for wanting to fuck Rhys". But before we cover the mating process, let's touch on the snotty conversation they had. If you still had any doubts before that Rhys is a Saint, believe now that he is. He is a miracle reborn. Attention: he was always kind to Feyre even when he was a dick toward her. He loved her already when they were under the Mountain, he knew they are mates, it wrecked him to hurt her; he was jealous of unworthy Tam, but Rhys was noble and didn't want to ruin Feyre's life. And that sloppy melodramatic speech of his continues for a whole chapter! "A Court of snort and boredom" as someone on GR called it once (sorry, I don't remember who said that or I'd hug this person). And again, Rhy's goodness is shoved down our throats *gags*

Mate.
�Ѳ�—m���ٱ�.
This beautiful, strong, selfless male �� Who had sacrificed and wrecked himself for his family, his people, and didn’t feel it was enough, that he wasn’t enough for anyone.

Also, as we are on the topic... did you notice how many times the phrase "my mate" is repeated in the book?! Hundreds of times! It's like a broken record player. I think if I hear "mate" one more time I may vomit like our Feyre-parrot does all the time.

They fuck. It's a disaster of epic proportions. Mountain quacked. MOUNTAIN. QUACKED. Seriously? What was that? Some kind of cheap shapeshifter porn?

Okay, When they are done, and I am done yawning, and we all move to civilized surroundings... wait, what the fuck is happening?! Rhys acts like an animal, he can't stop wanting to screw Feyre. Their mating bond makes them horny as fuck. He is so protective of his female. It's serious stuff among Fae folk, they could even kill if another male looks sideways at their females.

“The �� frenzy,�� he said carefully, as if fearful the wrong word might send us both hurtling for each other before we could get sustenance into our bodies. “When a couple accepts the mating bond, it’s �� overwhelming. Again, harkening back to the beasts we once were. Probably something about ensuring the female was impregnated.�� My heart paused at that. “Some couples don’t leave the house for a week. Males get so volatile that it can be dangerous for them to be in public, anyway. I’ve seen males of reason and education shatter a room because another male looked too long in their mate’s direction, too soon after they’d been mated.��

Faeries - cunning, highly intelligent, powerful creatures act as if they are primitive animals from a cheap porn novel. After Rhys loses some steam fighting his buddy, he goes and fucks Feyre against the table. Everyone outside hears and knows. Wonders! How civilized they are indeed! Are we supposed to find these animal games romantic? Does it suppose to be a healthy relationship? And this book is labeled as YA and published by Bloomsbury Children's! It is NA (new adult) or erotic at the very least!

My next issue - the plot. First of all, let's not delude ourselves there's something more to the book apart from the romance mating. The plot is a crutch for the romance. Everything characters do, they do between Rhys's and Feyre's courting. And even these parts are poorly executed. Why, oh why, does Maas need to chew everything for us?! We are not stupid, we can get hints and would like to have some space left for the imagination. Show, don't tell. Show us through hints and glances, make us work for information; make us want to know! And the plot itself is primitive: go there, do that - monotone routine with no unexpected parts. 50% into the book and I have already known how everything would end.

I don't understand the half-orgy scene in the Court of Nightmares where Feyre and Rhys were almost fucking while everyone watched. It was a distraction while the others were stealing something important. It's so stupid I can't even. Maas couldn't think of something smart for distraction, rather than this disgusting humiliating scene?! The best part is the ending, though. Why would mortal queens conspire with the King of Hybern? Because they want immortality? They'll get their immortality but will be slaves. Would it be worth it? I don't think so. And why demonstrate the experiment with humans turning into Fae twice? Wasn't one time enough, when Feyre's sister Elain was made into Fae? Why make the same with Nesta? Because it serves Maas's idea of making Feyre's sisters immortal and finding mighty mates for them. It doesn't matter that the plot looks illogical and stretched - everything is ideal for Maas's grand plans. Tam is a traitor because he wants Feyre back. Why, he is a reborn villain now! How stupid it is to betray your country, because of the woman who doesn't want you? Why villains in this book so villainous? Why there's no depth to them? Good is good, bad is bad. End of conversation.

This book is 640 pages long. 640 pages of unnecessary descriptions of clothes, Rhys's goodness, Tam badness, Feyre's vomiting, mating, getting from point A to point B. 640 pages of parading High Lords to who I wouldn't trust to rule a swamp, let alone whole Kingdoms. Where's the smart and cunning in this book? And what kind of place is Night Court? Is it a mix of East and West and the modern world? Lace underwear, seriously?! Why does Night Court resemble so much human reality? Is this another point to Rhys's goodness? I have tons of questions toward this book, but I don't think getting my answers will somehow make it better. It's late for that.

I wouldn't say there wasn't anything good about the book for me. Compared to Rhys and Feyre I liked secondary characters, and Cass and Nesta as a couple attract me more than Rhys and Feyre ever will. It's sad I am not interested in learning more about them in the context of this series.

When I started this book, I practically had no expectations, and now I am angry. Angry at the book I wasn't even sure I would read in the first place! It's a new low. If this book was an erotic novel or NA, I would say, "Good, we had sexy time" - and move on. But this book pretends to be something different than it really is. Something more meaningful and deep, and it cruelly deceives people into thinking they are going to read a fantasy YA with a strong plotline and character development. They will be surprised to find an entirely different beast here. I am glad I am finally done with this series: no more, never again, burn in hell, book.