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Oh my God, why are you doing this to yourself, Kat?!

Not the Lolz this time. One of my friend's younger sister was MORTALLY offended when I said this and Blue Bloods was crap.

She asked if I'd read them, to which I replied no. Well, how can you know if you haven't read them?

Apparently, "How do you know you're a mortal if you don't die?" and my laughing at her for ten minutes straight wasn't a proper answer.

So here I am.

After this^^ conversation, she agreed to read two books off my awesome YA lit list if I would read two novels she thought was awesome. Since I'm seeing her tonight and will need to give a progress report (and ensure she is is ALSO keeping up her end!) I'm trying to finish it.

Well, at least you're getting something out of it. I usually read these kinds of...books...for the pure lulz.

Did you agree to read the whole series to date? I pray you don’t b/c these (and Blue Bloods) get progressively worse. And forget the love triangle; it was like a love hexagon when I stopped reading.

Wow Kat. This is brilliant. You have given me new inspiration to finish editing my novel.

Your interpretation = win. I could not get past the first chapter.

one of the first series I've ever read and now that I've read 1000x more/better books I don't even know what I saw in this series. Honestly it's horrible now. each book has gotten worse and worse.

It’s rather brilliant when you think about it!

But it still only gets one fucking star.

^ This made me laugh so hard, I almost woke the boy up. Lol.

Please tell me you don't have to read the entire series. It gets worse and worse! Which two books did you pick out for her?

Great review as always. I like your interpretation much better than the general interpretation. Too funny.

Oh this review was amazing. I never looked at the books this way but it completely makes sense!
I really hope that if you can stomach reading the next 100 books in the series (ok, it's like 10 or so but they feel like they're never going to end) you review them like you did this one.
Honestly though, this is about as good as the novels get. It's all downhill from here.

Haha! Everyone, I have absolutely NO intention of reading anymore of these books... Ever!

Thanks, though! I'm glad to know my interpretation isn't too obscure!

I liked the book but I can totally see where your coming from, your review probably pointed out things I didn't want to notice.

Yeap, is true but most of it change in the 2nd book. Still yeah is a Zoe-Apocalypse

I couldn't get past the second chapter. Kudos for you for finishing it!

Your review made my husband come over to see if I was okay from all that laughing. lol

Zoey is the most annoying Mary Sue you will ever encounter in YA. She's so perfect, everyone loves her, and every boy in the series wants to sleep with her. I think she has like 3 boys going on in every book.

Stephanie wrote: "Zoey is the most annoying Mary Sue you will ever encounter in YA. She's so perfect, everyone loves her, and every boy in the series wants to sleep with her. I think she has like 3 boys going on in..."

(view spoiler)[Let's not forget her teacher as well is in love with her and actually does sleep with her... (hide spoiler)]

Mello wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Zoey is the most annoying Mary Sue you will ever encounter in YA. She's so perfect, everyone loves her, and every boy in the series wants to sleep with her. I think she has like ..."

Oh, indeed, can't forget about that! It's not the least bit disturbing, totally acceptable.

Stephanie wrote: "Mello wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Zoey is the most annoying Mary Sue you will ever encounter in YA. She's so perfect, everyone loves her, and every boy in the series wants to sleep with her. I think..."

Oh ya. That's, like, totally normal. Happens all the time.

Princess 'Lina wrote: "You pretty much summed up the story of Aphrodite. I swear, is it a trend now to have the real protagonist hidden as a secondary? (Leah, Isabel, Aphrodite..)"

I may continue the series just to get to/read Aphrodite if she's one of those types of hidden protagonists. I loved Leah and Isabel to bits.

This is the best reading of this most awful book I have ever had the pleasure of reading. When I read it, I was just all like MARY SUE RAGE RAGE RAGE but you've actually given me a really good way of looking at this book. I really wish you'd do a reading like this for the rest of the series but at the same time I don't want to subject you to that absolute bullshit horror.

I haven't read this book (and probably never will) but this review is absolutely amazing. Imagine the doors this could open for badly written YA and psychological analysis! Maybe better yet someone should have a little sit down with the author and her editor, go straight to the source!

My god, I would love that job... I need to make happen. :D

The sad thing is you review is probably much funnier than the real book even if you make it sounds like a really funny story about a female psychopath.

Thanks everyone! It's really Edwina Wren who convinced me Zoe is BPD. She really did a great job of portraying mental illness!

Kat did you notice Edwina Wren's messed up accent? I am listening to this right now. Accourding to my googling efforts Ms. Wren is Australian, she goes in and out of her australian accent, an American accent and then a strained weird thing in between. It is driving me crazy.

I am only 50% in, but I feel like this is a fanfic story of Harry Potter, with hormones and no substance.

LOL at this: "-When we meet Aphrodite, through Zoe, she is forcing a blow job on the future object of Zoe's desire. I can't find a statistical formula for how many boys have refused blowjobs from their girlfriends, because one doesn't exist yet, but this was when I first solidly began to believe my assertion about her BPD was truly correct."

My thought exactly. That poor boy!

Pretty brilliant. Based on this, she might have histrionic personality disorder too.

I love this review even though I have continued to read the series! But I read it for Stevie Rae - if you ever find yourself wanting to torture yourself further please read the rest of the series and let me know what you think about Nefret!

-When we meet Aphrodite, through Zoe, she is forcing a blow job on the future object of Zoe's desire. I can't find a statistical formula for how many boys have refused blowjobs from their girlfriends, because one doesn't exist yet, but this was when I first solidly began to believe my assertion about her BPD was truly correct.

Thank you. I needed such an assessment very much. I hate this series.

Oh, wow. Even the rant felt long. NOT reading this.

Awesome review!

Such a brilliant review made even more awesome with the single ending line: "But it still only gets one fucking star."
Lovely. Lovely.

This review...poetry.

That...was the most intense YA review I have ever read.
But I burst into laughter at the end there.

"One fucking star"... ;D

Glad you enjoyed it.

LOL! That was excellent and very insightful!

Wow, how insightful, I don't know if I should be intrigued or scared

I shall follow you from now on... *becomes a stalker* Mwahahahaha!

LOL

I hated this book! I thought the writing was silly and the dialogue weak and immature. I know this book was for teens, but wow, it still could have been better.

Oh, and was that oral sex scene necessary? I saw a mother with a a girl who couldn't have been older than twelve in Barnes And Noble one day looking at this book. The mother asked an employee if the book would be appropriate for her daughter. The employee said she hadn't read it but it was probably okay. I put my two cents in and told her NO, it wasn't! LOL.

this book was seriously worth...loved it!!!!aphrodites attittude...it supper awesome!!!

Elizabeth wrote: "Oh, and was that oral sex scene necessary? I saw a mother with a a girl who couldn't have been older than twelve in Barnes And Noble one day looking at this book. The mother asked an employee if th..."

Thank you for saving the soul of an (probably) innocent girl.

You say this like you are shocked, Vlad. SHOCKED. I assure you, I GIF responsibly if at all possible.

Kat wrote: "You say this like you are shocked, Vlad. SHOCKED. I assure you, I GIF responsibly if at all possible."

I wish this comment had a like button!

;)

Oh Kat I would love you to review the rest of this series especially # 7 which was as far as I got in my misguided youth, cause girl was trippin' hard by that stage

lovved your extrapolation.............<3!!!

I want to like that comment so, SO much.

I wish that I could like this review a thousands times, it's so fun to read

Hilarious. Great job on the review and on your insight on how to read this awful book.

"This is the tale of Aphrodite, whose world is cruelly crushed by a monster set to destroy her and everything she has. Everything is snatched from her. Vilified and crucified for being in Zoe Redbird's way."
Impressive! I never thought of it that way. Poor Aphrodite, especially when she turns out to be nice later on in the series.

This is beautiful. I think I'm in love..