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| 0064404773
| 9780064404778
| 0064404773
| 4.05
| 81,709
| Oct 25, 1978
| Jun 30, 1993
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it was ok
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I curse this book with a thousand crotch louse. It's not I didn't like this book. At least, I like the beginning for awhile. But this book's plot was I curse this book with a thousand crotch louse. It's not I didn't like this book. At least, I like the beginning for awhile. But this book's plot was enough to drive me into a rant. Getting out of the way the fact that the characterisation is great and the setting is stunning and all that shit, let's get into possibly McKinley's only, and truly great weakness, which is plotting and pacing. The book reads at the speed of an unhurried snail. It starts a full 2.5ish years before Beauty even meets the Beast and shows no sincere interest in moving things along for the sake of actually telling the story. Beauty spends a stunningly little amount of time with the Beast and when we actually meet him, most of that time is glossed over in narrative telling rather than showing. ARE YOU TELLING ME I JUST SAT THROUGH 2.5 YEARS OF THIS GIRL'S LIFE ONLY TO HAVE FIVE MINUTES WITH THE ACTUAL GREAT ROMANCE THIS FAIRYTALE IS FAMOUS FOR?! [image] Then, right, the whole thing is wrapped up in about 20 pages. It was infuriating. I don't feel like Beauty's back story and life before the Beast helped us understand her motivations and character arc any great deal. I felt like it was cumbersome for the sake of being cumbersome and wordy and artistic. I'm so mad about this, that I'm practically hopping. I'm hopping mad, I say! ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jun 20, 2015
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Jun 22, 2015
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Jun 20, 2015
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Paperback
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| 1442474262
| 9781442474260
| 1442474262
| 3.87
| 34,577
| Oct 07, 2014
| Oct 07, 2014
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did not like it
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read Black Ice with a lot of hopes. Hopes that Fitzpatrick was writing something brave and different, a departure from Hush, Hush which was a total a
read Black Ice with a lot of hopes. Hopes that Fitzpatrick was writing something brave and different, a departure from Hush, Hush which was a total abomination for me. Still, I was willing to give it a fair shot. Unfortunately, it seems Fitzpatrick has a formula that she refuses to veer from and that made this book every bit as painful as Hush, Hush was. And all the temptation that maybe Fitzpatrick was doing something brave and hard was washed away with every page I turned. Black Ice is the story about a girl who goes camping and gets kidnapped by criminals who force her to navigating the freezing terrain in order to help them escape. Things become complicated when she starts to develop feelings for one of her captors. Fitzpatrick set this up as a Stockholm Syndrome tale and had everything at her disposal to make it great. It to make it brave and edgy and real. Instead she bowed to whimsical fantasy and romantic notions in order to twist it into something it should never have been. A love story. [image] So let’s start with the formula that Fitzpatrick can’t seem to let go of. 1 Very Bad Boy + 1 Annoying Heroine + 1 Best friend who can die in a fire = Kat is going to kill something. Mason kidnaps her, drags her through frozen tundra, lets his friend hold a gun to her and keeps up this charade as a villain all through the novel. But because he is occasionally kind to her and hot, Britt, our leading lady, falls for him. Britt, is not quite as annoying as the heroine in Hush, Hush. She does some clever and brave things. This almost saves it for me. Almost. But her obsession over Calvin drove me mad. The story kept dropping history between her and Calvin which was quite boring and ultimately needless. She was a flawed heroine and that’s okay. She was probably the best thing about this novel, even if that’s not saying much. Korbie. Korbie, rather like Vee was the most annoying character in this book and the very fact that she wasn’t in it much was her only saving grace. One more page of her and I might have bashed this book against my head several times just to numb the pain. The ending. Let’s talk about the ending here because I know most of you aren’t planning on reading this shit, so being coy about it. Spoilers Ahead Mason’s not really the bad guy, see? He’s just pretending to be a hardened criminal so that he can find his sister’s killer. Who just happens to be Calvin, Britt’s ex boyfriend and Korbie’s brother. See? Britt really fell for a hero, not the bad guy. He was only pretending to kidnap her. So this makes everything about 100 times shittier. Instead of doing the brave thing and having Britt tragically need to hand in the man who kidnapped her and endangered her life, she turns summersaults to turn him into a hero. So that they can be together. [image] This refusal to commit to reality made the novel so much weaker and less tense. It lacked the emotional impact because it veered so far into fantasyland that I was almost ready to believe that Britt was hallucinating the end of this novel as she lay in a snowdrift dying. If you want a book that is unapologetic in its handling of Stockholm Syndrome then I honestly suggest you skip this one and try Stolen: A Letter to My Captor by Lucy Christopher. Hauntingly beautiful and emotionally charged, it will fill the hole that Black Ice leaves behind. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 25, 2015
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Mar 28, 2015
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Mar 25, 2015
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Hardcover
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| 1402292279
| 9781402292279
| 1402292279
| 3.76
| 3,635
| Sep 03, 2013
| Aug 05, 2014
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it was ok
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Scorched, the convoluted story about a girl who could start an apocalypse just by hatching a dragon. It’s a dragon apocalypse! You know, I honestly don Scorched, the convoluted story about a girl who could start an apocalypse just by hatching a dragon. It’s a dragon apocalypse! You know, I honestly don’t know why I picked up this book from my ARC stacks. I just felt like dragons. But I probably should have guessed, based on the dragon coping a feel of the the girl on the cover there, that this book wouldn’t be for me. I stuck with it, though, and gave it a fair shot. All the way to page 136 when I had to stop for my sanity’s sake. So the writing itself wasn’t the worst. I had no real problem with its descriptors or anything but the three main characters drove me completely up the wall. The plot tried to pull this WHAT A TWIST style story structure. Trying to keep you guessing on who Trinity should trust. The clear answer being your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman and nobody else. Spiderman would have known what to do. The most aggravating thing about this novel is that a few pages can’t go buy without Connor mooning over Trinity. Or Trinity mooning over Connor. Or Caleb mooning over Trinity. I didn’t get up to the part where Trinity moons over Caleb, but I’m pretty sure it would happen eventually. And when people were kissing only a few hours after meeting, I wanted to throw the book at the wall and sing I Feel Pretty to myself until the pain went away. “She was beautiful, he thought. The history texts did not do her justice. Sure, she had the same tangles of black curls falling down her back in waves, the same delicate features. But no photo could capture her long lashes, sweeping across freckled cheeks, or the way her lower lip plumped as she frowned in her sleep. And they certainly couldn’t capture the fiery passion in her black eyes, illuminating the spark that was so strong within her.� And no photo could capture my pain at having to read this shite every time Connor or Caleb decided to go all star-eyed over the most specialist special girl who ever specialed. Because Trinity is the uberspecial. She kicks off the apocalypse, she has super powers, she’s bonding with a queen dragon, she’s gorgeous, she’s going to be world famous/infamous. Two uber hawties travelled back in time ala Terminator to save her. Kill. Me. Now. And can we talk about the use of the word Fleck? Instead of swearing in the book, Connor and Caleb use the word Fleck. [image] Look, first of all, you’re a Young Adult novel. It’s okay to swear. Really. I give you permission to use the word fuck. And don’t try to tell me that it’s possible that 200 years in the future, people will have replaced fuck with fleck. It’s never going to happen. Fuck is a perfectly serviceable, good word that isn’t suddenly going to be replaced by some random reiteration of it within a few generations. It’s just� Stop it, okay? Just bloody swear because you’ve made me do enough of it already. Basically, this book is a hot mess and I demand reimbursement for the pain it’s put me through. That or, I dunno, a puppy. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 24, 2015
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Mar 25, 2015
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Mar 24, 2015
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Paperback
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| 0374378614
| 9780374378615
| 0374378614
| 2.95
| 1,238
| Sep 17, 2013
| Sep 17, 2013
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it was ok
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Tumble & Fall Otherwise known as Tumble & BORE (sorry, I hadn’t seen anyone use that pun yet). Tumble & Fail: the most boring apocalyptic book ever. A Tumble & Fall Otherwise known as Tumble & BORE (sorry, I hadn’t seen anyone use that pun yet). Tumble & Fail: the most boring apocalyptic book ever. A gentler, kinder soul might say that it’s a character-driven novel exploring the way three teens face the oncoming apocalypse. That gentler and kinder soul would be wrong. The apocalypse is treated like background radiation. It keeps getting mentioned, but it’s hard to see what the hell it’s got to do with the book. Honestly, you could remove it and most of the book would scarcely be affected which is problematic considering how much the book rides on that concept. This book is made even more boring since, for a bunch of people about to possibly die, and have everyone they love die, these are the most disaffected people ever. No joke, the first hundred pages or so of this novel is people standing around going: [image] “Hey, heard about that apocalypse thing?â€� “Yeah, sucks. Wanna make out?â€� â€Âٳܰù±ð.â€� There you go. If you were interested in Tumble & Fall, you now have a basic grasp of the plot â€� times three! This is possibly the most disconnected and emotionless novel I have ever read. Even Michel Foucault’s History of Sexuality was more interesting because at least it was funny! Zan gets the closest to some kind of emotional impact, but it’s over a boy who died 10 months ago. Where’s the examining of one’s life, the search for the meaning of it all, the desperate despair at an uncontrollable fate? If you’re writing a story about the oncoming apocalypse, here’s a tip, why don’t some of the characters spend some time actually agonizing over it. This novel spends so much time trying to be cool, yet fails to be anything other than frustrating. The writing is abysmal, especially when it’s trying to be clever. “Two things people make time for at the end of the world: Free food and a party.â€� [image] The two things everyone cares about is sex and doing all the illegal shit they couldn’t otherwise do unless the world was coming to an end. End times babies and our inherent affinity to breaking shit is proof of that. Free food and a party? Don’t get me wrong, I will eat ALL the things if I know the end of the world is over. I’ll probably have cans of whipped cream on tap just so I can constantly be injecting it into my mouth. But a lame community center party with cocktail wienies? WHO DOES THIS?! You have a week to live people! It’s like you don’t even know how! Here’s a tip: -420 Party -Booze -Big ass speakers and a base. -A packet of condoms (safe sex, kids! Even at the end of the world!) -lube -honey -pine cones -an enraged badger -a bag full of feathers -enough PVC glue to fill a vat -a pool filled with corn flour slime -inflatable pool filled with jello -glow sticks -whistles -sparklers -clothing optional policy I don’t know about you, but that party sounds like it’d be totally illegal in at least 49 states but totally awesome in every single one of them! Boom. I should have written this novel. Most of the time, unless I paid attention to the chapter header, it took me awhile to figure out who was who. I only figured out the difference between Zan and Sierra because one of them was constantly moaning about a dead boyfriend that I honestly couldn’t have cared less about. And the only thing that marks Caden’s chapters differently is that he’s checking out girls instead of boys and being even more disaffected than the other two characters. Which frankly seems like he bends the rules of the time space continuum to achieve. What I want to know is, end of the world, why did Coutts pick the three most boring teenagers ever, living at the most boring place ever, to write about? I stretched my brain to think about three characters I’d be even less enthused to read about and this was all I could come up with: 1. Someone whose goal is to document the full life cycle of the Boletellus obscurecoccineus fungus family before the end of the world. 2. A man desperately trying to convince family and friends to legitimately convert to Jedi-ism before the end of the world to save their mitochondrial souls (because he doesn’t really understand the force). 3. A mime trying to send a message of peace to the entire world through silent body motions â€� only to realize, sadly, that nobody cares. Because everyone hates mimes. Everyone. Actually, I take that back. Those three people could actually manage to be more interesting. Fail. This book was given to me by the publishers for the purpose of an honest review. As you can see, there's no reason they would give me money, gifts or favors for this kind of stuff. This review and others like it can be found on my blog, . ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Dec 02, 2013
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Dec 04, 2013
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Dec 02, 2013
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 0385739141
| 9780385739146
| 0385739141
| 3.84
| 241,373
| Sep 28, 2010
| Sep 28, 2010
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did not like it
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This book is fail. If it were a city it would be Failinburg. If it were a WWII battle, it would be Failingrad. If this book were a movie, it would be M This book is fail. If it were a city it would be Failinburg. If it were a WWII battle, it would be Failingrad. If this book were a movie, it would be Million Dollar Failby. How much did this book fail thee? Let me count the ways. Oh no wait, I couldn't be bothered. I ain't bovvered. If this book were my Polish grandfather, its name would be Failinski. Yes, I have a Polish grandfather. He doesn't Failinski. He's awesome. Unlike this book, which sucks. Which reminds me, If this book were royalty it would live in Suckingham Palace. You know what awards this book won other than NONE? The Man Sucker International Book Prize. If you read this book for shits and giggles, you'd still be disappointed. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jul 03, 2013
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Aug 09, 2013
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Jul 03, 2013
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 0374316414
| 9780374316419
| 0374316414
| 3.71
| 18,886
| Oct 16, 2012
| Oct 16, 2012
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did not like it
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It’s been so long since I actively disliked a book that I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself. The more I tried to separate my dislike for the ch
It’s been so long since I actively disliked a book that I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself. The more I tried to separate my dislike for the characters and storytelling and try to analyze it impartially, the more I found myself saying, “Bugger this! Drink anyone?� to the empty air around me. Crewel is a post-apocalyptic dystopian world in which women are oppressed and tightly controlled. It is a world where matter and people can be weaved and stitched through special looms that Spinsters use. This should have been right up my alley. It was definitely right up something, but it wasn’t my alley. Unfortunately, Crewel is a heavily character-based novel. I say unfortunately because there isn’t a single character with more complexity or depth than a kiddie pool and certainly none of them are even a fraction of the fun. Even the main character, whose head we live in, is so vague and two dimensional that any actions and emotions she displays felt disconnected from the reality of the novel. This story, even in its most intense moments, was emotionless and the opposite of affecting. It was like watching a play only the stage is at the bottom of the cliff and you’re at the top. So far removed that you can see what the actors are doing but engaging in them or the story is impossible. There are a number of characters the narrator expects us to care about: Elanor, Valery, Amie, Jost, Erik, Pryana. However, most of these characters barely even have a role. Most of Valery’s speaking lines come after the Great Tragedy that befalls her � and they’re still only a few lines. Elanor as well, while having a slightly bigger role, is little more than a convenient plot device and represents one of the only semi-positively written female characters. Her role is so tightly packed into being a convenient tell-machine for the narrator to pass information, and to resolve a later plot point that there is nothing else to her. The plot itself is a hot mess with no direction or focus. It flits around distractedly, trying to accomplish everything and achieving nothing. Don’t even get me started on the ending! The main selling point of this novel is the weaving � which Adelice does almost none of since she spends more time making goo goo eyes are boys than she ever does interacting with women or doing the damn thing this book was named after. This is made even worse when you consider the face that the romance in this book is justifiably scoff-worthy. There isn’t even enough material between them for one convincing romance. Since Adelice is about as interesting as wet cardboard, it’s hard to imagine anyone falling for her. Each boy barely fares better. Their personalities combined still wouldn’t save them from being inhumanely dull. They are just two more wooden puppets in a whole cast of wooden puppets. For a novel that is supposed to be about the struggles of women in a highly patriarchal world, this novel was dreadfully sexist. When I spoke to a friend about this issue, they said, “I tend to disagree with a lot of the criticism re: the book being sexist, but think you could probably make a more compelling case.� Well, buckle up your seatbelt, sunshine*! Here’s my case! *Seatbelt not actually required. Readers can and should make a deal about the slut-shaming and complete lack of positive female characters. That’s an issue all in itself. But then, I guess, one could also sweep that aside with justifications. Because there are unpleasant and horrible women out there � because women are people, and people come in a mixed bag. And a society so entirely preoccupied with purity would result in citizens slut-shaming girls for acting outside of those bounds. So there’s obviously an important discussion to be had on those topics, even though they are not definitely sexist on their own, only kind of sexist. For me, the true test came when I considered what my Southern and Imaginary mother always told me and that is, “Honey cupcake, y’all should know that actions speak louder than words.� So true, Southern and Imaginary mother. So true. So whilst this book may have given lipservice to how unfair life was for women and how that TOTALLY wasn’t right or good, what service did the narration and plot actually have to say about women? Put it this way: When comparing the relevance and representation given to male and female characters in relation to their contribution to the novel, what does it say about women? Almost every single male character we meet is important. Cormac, Jost, Erik are the three big ones. There are only a handful of other males with speaking roles in this book and they’re fairly neutral in their representation. People just doing their job. Only one male with a speaking role is depicted badly, which is a drunk, handsy official at a party � and he is still not portrayed worse than the woman trying to vie for his attention. At least, the characters narrating the situation focus on how disgusting she is, while he only gets a passing mention. I think there may be a waiter who has a speaking role for the purpose of showing how segregated and unfair they world is, but that’s it. Compare that to the novel’s complete and utter lack of focus on women � which is pretty disgraceful for a novel that’s supposed to be about women’s struggles in a patriarchal society. The only important women in this book are Adelice and the women who torment her. We are introduced to whole batches of women, who are immediately dismissed by the character and text as meaningless and valueless. The girls from Adelice’s hometown? Just simpering morons waiting to get mated. Even her own younger sister cares for little else. It seems no one is as deep and thoughtful as Adelice. Then when she enters Coventry with a large group of her peers, they are immediately shown to be jealous and power-hungry, but ultimately completely inconsequential. We don’t meet any of them ever again whilst Jost, Erik and Cormac receive the large bulk of Adelice’s, and the narrative’s attention. Because they’re what really matters, ya know? What the menfolk are doing. The only exception to this rule, because it is a pattern repeated yet again when Adelice joins the Spinsters who are also cliquey and immediately dismissed from the narrative as pointless and worthless like the literally dozens of other women we meet, is Maela and Pryana. Maela is a power-hungry psychopath and Pryana is a power-hungry, vicious, idiot. Both are stupid and extremely ineffective at what they do. Female solidarity doesn’t exist in this novel. Unless you’re referring to the convenient plot-device that is Elanor. She is the sole exception. Add to this the fact that the women in this novel all act inexplicably irrational. There is evil Cormac, and evil Maela and evil Pryana. Only one of them acts intelligently and with rationale � I’ll let you pick which one. You can depend on the evil women to be emotional, lashing out and sometimes hysterical. Behaviour that is never depicted in the men. For example, Maela asks Adelice to remove a strand from the weave. The strand is a person who doesn’t need to be removed and doing so could harm the weave, so she refuses. Maele takes her scalpel and tears into the weave out of anger. It turns out this was a school where Pryana’s sister lived. So Pryana� blames Adelice?! Because that totally makes sense. And she spends the rest of the novel irrationally tormenting Adelice. Valery, similarly blames Adelice for things that are entirely out of her control. It is so manufactured and senseless that it made the novel ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the fact that Adelice spent the novel entirely focused on boys. The plot went something like this: Adelice’s family dies Cormac meets horrible girls boy boy Cormac stuff about weaving boy boy boy boy Cormac More horrible girls boy boy boy Cormac Cormac Even Loricel, supposedly the one, decent woman in power in this book is little more than a caricature. You can’t claim a feminist text when the narration itself, despite constantly being surrounded by women, decides that all the male characters are so much more interesting and worth focusing on. When the few male characters are afforded exponentially more important roles than any of the many, many female characters � many of whom don’t even get the honour of a name or mention outside of just Horrible Female #35 who says horrible thing to Adelice. When the rate of decent male character so far outstrips the demonstration of decent female characters that there isn’t even room for comparison, you have a problem. You have a book that wants to say something about women, but ignores them in favor of focusing on men. That is really fucking sexist. So� Bugger this! Drink, anyone? ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Sep 29, 2012
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Dec 08, 2012
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Sep 29, 2012
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 1250003326
| 9781250003324
| 1250003326
| 3.99
| 51,259
| May 22, 2012
| May 22, 2012
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did not like it
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I don’t read many books that I would rate 1 star these days. I seem to have masÂtered my prefÂerÂences and hit a stride of excelÂlent books â€� or at le
I don’t read many books that I would rate 1 star these days. I seem to have masÂtered my prefÂerÂences and hit a stride of excelÂlent books â€� or at least mostly readÂable books. AdmitÂtedly I only made it fifty-six pages into this book before I threw my hands up in disÂgust and tossed a pilÂlow at the wall â€� so I sugÂgest you take that into account when decidÂing whether to buy this book. Why did I stop reading? First reaÂson: The death of a token character [image] We didn’t know her long enough, but I’m pretty sure she could play base. Right off a POC charÂacÂter is killed and whilst that would be annoyÂing in its own right, since killing off POC charÂacÂters is a frusÂtratÂing cliche in books, TV shows and films, this was even more annoyÂing. Firstly because her descripÂtion was extremely stereoÂtypÂiÂcal â€� to the point that she was less of a charÂacÂter and more of a carÂiÂcaÂture. PerÂhaps even worse and more degradÂing is that there was no real lament to her death. It was used as a story proÂgresÂsion so that the male proÂtagÂoÂnist could wax lyriÂcal about how beauÂtiÂful and brave the female proÂtagÂoÂnist for tryÂing to save the dying POC charÂacÂter. I kid you not. A girl is dying in a terÂriÂfyÂing, vioÂlent, horÂriÂfyÂing way and this is what he’s thinking: “It’s just thatâ€� she doesn’t look as though she needs help. Her pale face is conÂtorted with anger. Not fear. Not disÂtress. Just fury. Her white hair floats like an aura, jerkÂing in delayed reacÂtion with each of her capaÂble movements.â€� [image] Like I said â€� a girl just died and he’s havÂing a hard on for Emma. And even worse, we’re supÂposed to be havÂing a hard on for how aweÂsome Emma is. The text is all about Emma. In fact, Chloe’s death seems to be nothÂing but an agent for makÂing us symÂpaÂthetic for Emma. It felt cheap and dirty. Sure, takÂing on a bullÂshark is a seriÂously aweÂsome thing to do. Almost as aweÂsome as that time I wresÂtled a crocÂoÂdile. But let’s not get off track here. When sitÂting down and planÂning how to make a main charÂacÂter rock super hard, I could think of a hunÂdred ways that didn’t involve creÂatÂing a token charÂacÂter, immeÂdiÂately killing her off and then using that death to wank about how aweÂsome the proÂtagÂoÂnist is. I mean, first of allâ€� gross from an imagery point of view. SecÂond of all, holy flipÂping duck twat, BatÂman, way to be offensive! SecÂond reason: The sexÂism. [image] There’s nothÂing wrong with creÂatÂing a sexÂist sociÂety. HowÂever, there is some responÂsiÂbilÂity when doing so. That the writÂing doesn’t actuÂally supÂport or romanÂtiÂcize or give tacit approval for the sexÂism is a good start. Of PoseiÂdon feaÂtures a heavÂily misogÂyÂnisÂtic merÂmaid sociÂety. And as such, the male charÂacÂters act like a bunch of misogÂyÂnisÂtic dicks. Once again, comÂpletely underÂstandÂable. But then it’s when everyÂone else just kind of goes along with that and doesn’t see a probÂlem that my eye started to twitch. And then when some pretty outÂright paterÂnalÂisÂtic bullÂcrap takes place, I started seeÂing red. Like when a stalker merÂmaid arrives for a female charÂacÂter, Rayna. They are mated against her will and her refusal and hatred of him is treated as a comÂiÂcal device in the story â€� just her being a fickle and childÂish girl â€� not actuÂally a woman rebelling against a sysÂtem that doesn’t allow her to choose her mate or even requires her to be present for the cerÂeÂmony. She’s angry at him because they were childÂhood friends and he’s always known that she never wanted to mate. He went behind her back, asked her Dad and orgaÂnized for them to be mated. She’s pissed at him. NatÂuÂrally. PerÂsonÂally, I would have seduced him out onto an isoÂlated locale and impaled him on a rock. Rayna’s anger and hatred toward him is just laughed off by everyÂone. IncludÂing her brother. Excuse me? EXCUSE ME!? What the ever lovÂing fuck?! Oh, I see. Women in this world don’t know what they want until the smarter, betÂter men come along and show them. Right. RIGHT. [image] Then there’s Gallen who is just sexÂist plain and simÂple. He disÂmisses his sisÂter, does not disÂcuss the inforÂmaÂtion he’s workÂing on with her â€� but will with her mate â€� another man. I am told that he takes over Emma’s life and treats her much like a bit of bagÂgage in the name of takÂing care of her. I didn’t see any proÂgresÂsion toward a less sexÂist Galen havÂing any kind of revÂeÂlaÂtion that women weren’t all a bunch of objects to be ordered around like sheep. You expect women to be unreaÂsonÂable barnÂyard aniÂmals too busy masÂtiÂcatÂing and going into heat to do any reaÂsonÂable and logÂiÂcal thought, fine. But think like that and try to be a romanÂtic interÂest in a YA novel I’m readÂing? No way. Sorry, Galen. You are the weakÂest link. Goodbye. Third reaÂson: The writÂing. [image] I truly disÂliked the writÂing. Not only was it incredÂiÂbly telling and flat but the story also jumped awkÂwardly between the first perÂson narÂraÂtive for Emma and the third perÂson narÂraÂtive for Gallen. It did not feel polÂished or finÂished at all. “Stop!â€� she yells. Galen stops. But Emma’s not talkÂing to him. She’s talkÂing to the shark. And the shark stops. Emma wraps both arms around Chloe and hugs her to her chest, leanÂing her friend away from the attack. “You can’t have her! Leave her alone! Leave us both alone!â€� The shark turns, saunÂters away as if sulking. SHARKS CAN SAUNTER?! AND SULK!? I know what she’s doing here and that’s being abrupt and edgy with a tense moment. But I just trip over those senÂtences every time I read them. And a lot of this book is like this. Part of me wants to take a red pen to it and just clean it up a bit. It’s not like Banks is necÂesÂsarÂily a bad writer â€� but that her writÂing isn’t smooth. There’s no poetry or rhythm to it. Just these jarÂring, awkÂward senÂtences that hurt my brain. Fourth reaÂson: The charÂacÂterÂiÂzaÂtion [image] “Hi! My name is River Swan Desmonda Sparkle-Eyes!â€� Emma was, in my opinÂion, a Mary Sue â€� and that is a term I don’t use often. BasiÂcally, I felt she was an author insert. Rare comÂpelling eyes, one of a kind in her species, ultra speÂcial, father AND friend died to creÂate symÂpaÂthy. Even Gallen, when not with Emma, only thinks about Emma. He can sense her on land when that’s supÂposed to be imposÂsiÂble. It’s always the same with Mary Sues. ImposÂsiÂbilÂity surÂrounds them and they’re just so fuckÂing SPESHAL while being the most borÂing, repetÂiÂtive, inofÂfenÂsive turds around. The probÂlem with Mary Sues is that, if you’ve read one you’ve read them all and the only thing that separates them is the degree to exactly HOW speshul and ewnique they are. And the more Mary Suish they are, the more the other charÂacÂters spend every fuckÂing moment talkÂing and thinkÂing about Mary Sue â€� which as far as I could see, was exactly what hapÂpened in this book. The only charÂacÂter flaw the author has given her is that she’s clumsy. Clumsy is not a charÂacÂter flaw. I’m sorry, but it’s not. It’s a lazy way of tryÂing to make a young, beauÂtiÂful female charÂacÂter immeÂdiÂately adorable and relatÂable to an audiÂence and writÂers do it all the time. Stop. Just stop it, okay? Even if the story telling explains the clumÂsiÂness (she’s not meant to be on land â€� she’s meant to be in the water) it still makes for a weaker charÂacÂter. Because if you can’t bare to give your MC a more intense flaw than ‘clumsyâ€� then that becomes ALL you can say about her. “What’s Emma like?â€� “Oh, she’s just this really clumsy, inseÂcure teenage girl.â€� Clumsy and inseÂcure? No! Never. That only marÂginÂally ties her to like 95% of the YA MC population! BasiÂcally, I can deal with bad writÂing â€� to a degree. And bad charÂacÂterÂiÂzaÂtion â€� to a degree. And sexÂism â€� to a degree. But throw them all in with the death of a token charÂacÂter and smoosh it into a terÂriÂble mess? Then I can’t deal. Then I throw my hands up in disÂgust, delete the book off my ereader and try to scrub my bloody brain free. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Aug 2012
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Aug 02, 2012
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Aug 01, 2012
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 1466337524
| 9781466337527
| 1466337524
| 3.80
| 484
| Sep 27, 2011
| Oct 04, 2011
|
did not like it
|
I thought it was illegal to fail this hard without a permit. I mean, if it were possible for a book to despise humanity and turn against people in gen I thought it was illegal to fail this hard without a permit. I mean, if it were possible for a book to despise humanity and turn against people in general, this would be its first step down the path to villainy. This book is how they torture state secrets out of spies. Reading this was like using a pineapple for a prostate exam. In all honesty, it's not like there was a shortage of female protagonists who could charitably be described as useless, pathetic twats. I think Janie almost takes the cake as Queen of the Oxygen Thieves. I'd say she's more useless than someone who uses a Masterball on a Magikarp. She couldn't fight her way out of a paper bag if she had a map, GPS, and all her enemies were bunnies. Dead bunnies. If Kai wasn't there to wipe her ass for her, she stab herself with the toilet seat. Her idea of a clever plan is to check both ways before getting stabbed with a knife. I made it approximately halfway through the book in which she'd had about half a dozen fights with the supernatural. She didn't make it through a single one of them without Kai mysteriously showing up to rescue her. She's supposedly been trained since childhood for this position - presumably by the people who keep greenlighting Eddie Murphy movies, based entirely on the amount that Janie fails. I guess what I was expecting was that someone who had spent years training as a feared warrior would be... competent? Able? Spend far less time on her ass watching other people do her job? Kai was your requisite mysterious, dangerous, love interest. If you mistake him for a shadowy handpuppet reflection on your livingroom wall then you're not alone. The writing is enough to make you weep with how disjointed, poorly structured and stagnant it is. The concept is convoluted and, frankly, laughably dumb. This is the cheesiest, silliest, worst homage to Buffy I've ever read. I had to check to see if it was trying to be ironic but, sadly, this was an honest attempt at story telling. The only positive thing I have to say about this one? Still a better love story than Twilight. Then again... what the fuck isn't? [image] ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jan 25, 2012
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Jan 26, 2012
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Jan 25, 2012
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Paperback
| ||||||||||||||
| 0373210450
| 9780373210459
| B00A2M71S0
| 3.99
| 31,803
| Mar 27, 2012
| Mar 27, 2012
|
did not like it
|
I requested Goddess Interrupted as I'd seen potential, amidst the frustration, in The Goddess Test. I thought that, given time, hard work and thoughtf
I requested Goddess Interrupted as I'd seen potential, amidst the frustration, in The Goddess Test. I thought that, given time, hard work and thoughtful application to her prose, Carter might be a good author one day. Unfortunately, that didn't quite happen here and part of me understands why. A lot of the reviews for The Goddess Test focus on: GAH! The mythology! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and A VIRGIN!? A VIRGIN!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?! [image] A VIRGIN. I mean, I'm not getting over that any time soon! So I appreciate Carter's efforts to address some of that a little in the novel. Well, no not really, but I'm trying really hard to be nice here. But the underlying themes of fidelity and sexual repression were always highly problematic and they've only devolved in this novel. We see this through the characters of Ava and Persephone who are judged and censured very heavily by the main character, Kate. Ava stays pretty firmly in the camp of irredeemable slut. As for Persephone: one moment she's the Whore of Babylon and the next she's just a selfish, confused woman. Note: Neither of these are accurate or even good characterization! Kate says over and over that, no matter what, she would NEVER have cheated on Henry. That's nice, Kate. You're all of, what? 18? Easy to make absolutes when you're 18 and it's your first time in love. So very, very easy. Persephone was a confused, naive girl when she was married off (didn't chose) to the Lord of the Underworld. She never loved him, she hated her job and she withered up without the sun and freedom. She stayed that way for THOUSANDS of years before finally falling in love with a man and deciding that she'd had enough of a loveless, passionless marriage. Yet everyone, even the other gods who saw her and how miserable she was, judges her as a shameless hussy. How long does Kate last in her passionless, loveless marriage? *Pulls out fingers and toes to start counting* well, let's see. They married just before her six month vacation where she didn't see or hear from Henry. And when she gets back shit breaks out and so when she finally decides to leave him it would have been... a day. Yes. it takes her a day of actually being with Henry before she hangs up the crown and decides to ditch him. The double standards, which exist all through this book, are aggravating. In the the first book Ava is punished by Kate. You see, Ava had been in a relationship with one man. Then she'd ditched him and started seeing another guy. Guy #1 bursts in on guy #2 and they fight. One of them almost dies. Whose at fault? Ava. Obviously. Men can't be expected to control themselves when it comes to sex and it was CLEARLY Ava's fault for... whatever. So we see Calliope turn evil and she does it because her husband, Zeus, has cheated on her throughout antiquity. It was really satisfying to see everyone angry and annoyed with Walter. To see him take personal responsibility for his actions and how they've affected Calliope and to see him take part in her punishment... no, wait. Sorry, none of that happens. Actually, Calliope is handed over to him so that he can punish her and and try to force her compliance. She disgusts him. Charming. The fail, unfortunately, doesn't stop there. We have frustrating characters, too little plot for too many novels, bad pacing, vague action scenes and feminist issues with how the main character is treated. I could spend all day complaining about how often we had to have Kate reassured that Henry loved her, or how frustratingly annoying Henry is or how unnecessary James is as a character. About how Henry WASN'T a virgin because he'd had sex. Once with Persephone. And it was terrible. You know, I think that's actually worse than if he were a virgin... But most of all, I'm STILL just really disappointed. Because this is still watered-down mythology and a poor excuse of a Hades/Persephone retelling. It's still a copout in so many ways and it's still thoughtless in its narrative and treatment of characters. I won't read the next one. I think Carter's progress as a writer is limited in the world she's already built. But I do think I've seen evidence in the text that leads me to believe that she's better than this. I guess I'll have to wait until she leaves this series behind to find out if that's true. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jan 12, 2012
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Jan 14, 2012
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Jan 12, 2012
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Paperback
| ||||||||||||||
| 1937044505
| 9781937044503
| B0061GHXYI
| 3.40
| 87
| Jan 01, 2011
| Nov 01, 2011
|
it was ok
|
In one regard, life has taught me not to expect too much from a Novella. Yet I think this one still managed to let down even my low expectations and I
In one regard, life has taught me not to expect too much from a Novella. Yet I think this one still managed to let down even my low expectations and I'm a little depressed about that. Cate and her family are seers of the Fae and so must hide their abilities. Rook is a fae who stalks Cate, thinking she can't see him. Their paths collide when one of Cate's friends is kidnapped by the fae. She needs to get into the Fae world to get her friend back and he needs her to begin the Fae conquest of Earth. Also they fall in love and shag along the way. And thus we come across our first issue and it is one in which the author has bitten off more than they can chew. This is, in its essence, a massive story to undertake in a novella. Kidnappings? Peril to the human race? Forbidden hunky fairy love? You don't say! I'm intrigued. Tell me more. Yet all of this is rather handled in the most cavalier way by the author, leaving the reader with desperate, gaping, plotholes and burning questions. For starters, the kidnapped girl: Meg. Before she is kidnapped, our only insight into this character is that she is someone who invites a friend to lunch, planning the entire time to ditch her for a preplanned date. This same friend is also a work colleague and she also plans (ahead of time) to ditch their important presentation for the aforementioned date and expects to still take half the credit for the work done. Cate's gifting is hereditary, and she has several sisters. It's a gift she's had to hide her entire life. If the fae discover her gifting then she'll disappear forever as her mother once did. To reveal herself may put her family in extraordinary danger. She knows this. Keep all of that in mind when I tell you that she throws it out the window to save the friend I just described. Call me cruel, call me evil, call me a bitch. I don't care. There's no way I would endanger my life and my family for someone like that, and I don't think most normal people would either. I might even dust my hands off, kick my feet up and consider my life burdened with one less oxygen thief. Secondly, Cate's brilliant scheme for getting the world's worst friend back is nonsensical. Go to Fairyland + Hot Fairy + ? = She doesn't have a plan. THIS is NOT a plan! This is a concept and a vague intention. Making out with a random Fairy and traipsing off into Fairyland with a) no way to return home, b) no plans or assurances this Fairy will help you or c) absolutely no clue what you're doing is not clever thinking! Rook's characterization is, if possible, even more aggravating. He's been stalking this girl since she was sixteen and not once has she given a hint of her abilities. He is right there watching when her supposed friend is kidnapped right in front of her. Of all the days to reveal her abilities and seduce him, she chooses that day. Look, kids, this is not hard maths here. It doesn't take leaps and bounds in logic to assume the woman has a hidden agenda. Yet Rook is shocked, shocked I say, when he realizes that she came with him to fairy in order to retrieve her friend. Lastly, and perhaps the most aggravating aspect of this novel. He is a fairy. They're planning to invade our planet, subvert our autonomy and replace us as supreme rulers of earth. There is no convincing him otherwise. As a human being, her reaction to all of this is? [image] Doesn't matter; had sex. Thanks, Cate. Sold out your whole race for Fairy Peen. Good job there. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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not set
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not set
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Jan 10, 2012
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Kindle Edition
| ||||||||||||||
| 0061668036
| 9780061668036
| 0061668036
| 3.76
| 82,598
| May 05, 2009
| May 05, 2009
|
did not like it
|
I probably shouldn't have read this. If you read the pre-read section at the bottom of the review, you'll see that I didn't even intend to order it. Y
I probably shouldn't have read this. If you read the pre-read section at the bottom of the review, you'll see that I didn't even intend to order it. Yet, since I had it, I thought I'd give it a go. I lasted 24 pages because that's all my sanity could take. Laurel is a magazine-beautiful, waif-like teenager who leaves homeschooling in grade 10 in order to begin her high school career. And that's when the story stops making sense. Not that the above makes any sense either. I would just like to point that out now. The comment could fly past as poor characterization and sloppy writing if it didn't go hand in hand with Laurel's horrible relationship with food. In fact, a great deal of emphasis is placed on what she eats. Once again, not entirely a problem except attention is also placed on how she feels when she eats. Which is guilty and "like a battle has been lost" when she eats half a pear and half a cup of juice. [image] I know, Nickhun, I know. The writing is just terrible and the characterization can't even be mentioned because I'm pretty sure Goodread's lax profanity rules would not cover what I would end up saying. Mostly, it's all so very saccharine sweet and ickly chaste, yet oddly kinky and unbelievably tame. I feel like I'm describing Disneyland here, but if I do, that might make people think of fun. Notice I deliberately left fun off the list. But, luckily, there was comparable amounts of vomit. Spoilers below, folks. Apparently. APPARENTLY, Laurel is not actually a human, but a fairy. And the reason she is a vegan is because she is a plant. Like, as in, she is not a red blooded mammal but is an actual plant... I'm sorry, I'm going to need a judge's ruling on that. [image] Thank you. Steve Carell. I think you've said it all. Look, you just. You don't do that. You just...don't. I mean, what school of biology did you go to? The Stephanie Meyer School of Biology, that's what! I mean, and correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't 8th grade biology talk a lot about how plants photosynthesize to make energy and how they do respire but at night when there's no light and about how they don't have things like digestive systems and they don't have blood but, hey they do have Chloroplasts and Chlorophylls. And how they don't digest nutrients by eating them but by absorbing them through their roots. There just doesn't seem to be a lot of thought put into this. I mean, look at organs like the brain. How does her brain work? They need A LOT Of protein. A huge amount actually. Which you can get by eating a healthy vegan diet, but she's not even doing that. Scientists don't look at an ape-like creature and have this conversation: "So, Doctor Rosenbaum, what do you think it is? Mammal? Reptile? Plant? Rock?" "I don't know. I just don't know. If only there was some way of determining these things! Look, just to be safe, put it down as a bird. Just because it doesn't fly - doesn't mean it can't!" I used to think that the old troll argument of, "You're overthinking it! Stop thinking so much and you'll enjoy it!" was full of shit. But, in this case, they're right. My highly developed mammalian brain just can not handle this level of stupidity. But even if I could somehow switch it off. Well, there enough other bad stuff in here that would spoil it anyway. _____________________________________________Pre-read comments______________________________________ I'm not entirely sure why I'm reading this. For some reason I thought there was some controversy over this author and that I'd barred it, but it's not on my Do Not Read shelf so I must have been mistaken. I went to pick up books from the library this afternoon and it was among them. I don't clearly remember ordering it so I asked for the order date and went home to Mr. Kennedy. The conversation went something like this: Me: "Hey honey, was I drinking heavily on the 15th of December?" Mr Kennedy: "Hmmm...the 15th was a Thursday. That's Corona day." Me: "Ugh. Okay, definitely drunk. That explains it." Mr Kennedy: "Let me guess, you found traffic cones and police hats again?" Me: *Thinks for a second* "That probably would have been the preferable outcome." ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jan 02, 2012
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Mar 28, 2012
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Jan 02, 2012
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 1420100963
| 9781420100969
| 1420100963
| 3.89
| 32,963
| Aug 05, 2008
| Jan 01, 2008
|
it was ok
|
Did you hear that sound? That sound, right there? Okay, well, it's either the sound of my heart forsaking Mead for all eternity, or there's a murderer
Did you hear that sound? That sound, right there? Okay, well, it's either the sound of my heart forsaking Mead for all eternity, or there's a murderer whose broken into your house and is SNEAKING UP BEHIND YOU!!!!! [image] Look over your shoulder just to check that I'm wrong. You know you want to do it! Storm Born, the tragic tale of a woman forced by cruel fate to be hit on by ALL the men. Yes. That's what this story is about. Okay, there are fairies and she has to recover some damsel in distress but basically the novel is about Eugenie's love life. I suppose my problem with Dark Born is that all of Mead's washed up, tried and not-so-true tropes are here. Again. Strong heroine (who will undoubtedly end the series as a complete moron), sexy hero who heroine loves, though nobody really knows why. Secondary sexy love interest who is way more awesome than sexy hero and who Mead spends far more time fleshing out a real relationship with the heroine, but who is apparently not the heroine's twue loff. For reasons completely unknown. I will inevitably like this love interest far more than the banal and boring love interest Mead champions. The one thing I'll say about this novel is that Mead writes good sex. That's her one redeeming virtue. She writes gripping, interesting characters, a rich world and stories that hint at great possibilities, but Mead absolutely sucks at the follow through. The difference with this novel is that I'm not interested in following through to watch her crash and burn yet another series. This novel reminded me of a quote by Dan Hemmens from Ferretbrain. "Rape is not the occupational hazard of having a vagina." Thank you. Now I'll address the fictional critics in my head by saying that yes, Mead gave all these douches a reason to rape the protagonist that wasn't just about sex. But... well, it just doesn't count and I'll explain why. I don't know about you, but *I* am personally sick of stories that tell me that because I have a vagina, I am a walking talking victim waiting to happen. Because novel after novel tells the same story. No matter how strong, powerful or kickarse you are as a heroine, you are still a victim and will need to be rescued by a man. Possibly several times. I'm sick to death of it. Barely a page goes by in this book where rape isn't mentioned. Even if it's just to say, 'Eugenie, you're so beautiful I'd rape you and LIKE it!" This book almost treats rape like a fucking compliment. "I've had five rape attempts today, what about you?" "Oh, I've had three." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Don't worry, maybe tomorrow will pick up!" I have a problem with drilling into people's heads that women are victims. Always. Vulnerable, precious little petals. Don't let them out of the house or they'll trip over their puritanical vaginas and get raped. Or what about a message just as bad? Almost all men will rape if given the chance. It's the rare few who won't take the opportunity for a good ol' free for all on an unwilling woman. Now hold on for an even bigger criticism. Of all the worst things, this was the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! [image] This book... is like Anita Blake. [image] It's got multiple love interests, fairies, bargains made, political sex, sexual awakening of formerly prudish, loner character, mystery, evil women bitches out to get you. It's all so very reminiscent. You know what? Don't read this book. Just go watch Generation 4 My Little Pony instead. I promise there's no rape there and it's about a thousand times better and more entertaining. And there is no rape. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Nov 13, 2011
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not set
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Nov 13, 2011
|
Mass Market Paperback
| ||||||||||||||
| 1742141862
| 9781742141862
| 1742141862
| 3.82
| 513,948
| May 01, 2007
| Jan 01, 2009
|
did not like it
|
None
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Notes are private!
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1
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Sep 14, 2011
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Sep 17, 2011
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Sep 14, 2011
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Audiobook
| ||||||||||||||
| 1414304501
| 9781414304502
| 1414304501
| 3.92
| 7,850
| Sep 18, 2001
| Feb 22, 2005
|
did not like it
|
This book was loaned to me by a friend who had purchased it, but not read it. I only finished this book so that I could do a comparative review to Rai
This book was loaned to me by a friend who had purchased it, but not read it. I only finished this book so that I could do a comparative review to Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different-And How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men but after reading it, I realized that this book is far more comparable to I Am America than any serious or informative text on raising boys. Despite the fact that Raising Boys is vague on details, out of date and amateurish in the more intimate areas of brain functioning and child development, it is still far more helpful, informative and useful than this book will ever be. You can be forgiven for assuming, as I did, that Bringing Up Boys is a book concerned with providing information for parents in understanding their boys, a variety of tips and advice on their problem behaviors and an overall plan on how to smooth the journey. Unfortunately, Dobson's only answer to all of the above is the same to any question asked in Sunday School (and here's a tip, it's ALWAYS a variation of the following three): Jesus, prayer, the Bible. Okay, you expect a book by an evangelist to run in such a theme. However, I also expected a book by a person with a doctorate is psychiatry to provide informed, balanced, professional advice based on research, statistics, studies and personal experience. No. Dobson unapologetically hates feminists, liberals and homosexuals and he makes absolutely no attempt at providing balanced information. This book is nothing more than fear-mongering propaganda. Though he uses many studies to try and validate his opinion, he out-right omits balanced data or studies that don't confirm his opinion. Some of the studies he uses are out-dated or invalidated by other studies. His statistics are used to validate his opinions in one area, then disregarded in another. For example, at one point he claims that there's no evidence for a genetic inheritance of homosexuality because twin studies show that if one twin is homosexual, then the other is statistically "only" %50 likely to be homosexual as well. Yet, later in the book he claims that our genetics are a major influence on our life and uses another twin study to validate this by stating that if one twin gets divorced then then identical twin has a %45 chance of divorcing as well! [image] Now I'm not arguing about the nature vs nurture because the bulk of recent scientific studies show that we are largely products of our genetics - in that part, he's right but there's little else in this book that I can say that for. Mostly, because this book's advice for raising boys can be summed up as: 1. JESUS! 2. Love them lots 3. Spend time with them 4. MAKE SURE THEY DON'T CATCH TEH GAY! 5. Homeschooling, yeah! [image] This book was offensive to logic, reason and most of all, humanity. Dobson hates: 1. Homosexuals 2. Women's liberation 3. Liberals 4. Namby-pamby people who let their children play with gender-neutral toys and don't provide young boys with toy guns, don't smack and practice that hippy, attachment parenting philosophy. 5. The media He is terrified of them all and this book, rather than being about Bringing Up Boys as the title suggests, is really about vilifying all of the above and scare-mongering his readers into hating and fearing them as much as he does. Every chapter went something like this: You need to spend time with your kids. I really FEEL for single mothers/homosexuals/poor people/women who don't fit my small and pathetic definition of what I think a woman should be. Unlike me, who is a disgustingly rich, upper middle class, white man, I understand that you don't have the benefits of choices about spending time with your children. Some of you have to work in order to survive. Gee, must be tough. But it's still important so if you can't spend more time with them... eh, I really feel for you. Please enjoy my heart-touching tale of how I once met a single mother/homosexual/poor person/woman that didn't fit my small and pathetic definition of what I think a woman should be and changed their life in a positive way. I'm so awesome. [image] As a woman and a feminist, I want to be mostly offended at his narrow and pathetic views on what and who I should be. However, I'm far more offended on behalf of the homosexual community who he ALMOST outright incriminates of conspiring to rape your boys. Didn't you know? All homosexual men want is to have buttsecks with little boys. All lesbians want is to groom little girls into future lesbians and - perhaps worse, feminists. I especially love how he uses the example of the LBGT community in the UK pushing for the age of consent for homosexual boys to be lowered to 16 in order to try and prove his allegations about homosexuals. Yet he conveniently neglects to mention that this was in order to equalize the age of consent because the AOC for heterosexuals was already 16! At one point he even claims that the breakdown of marriage in the US is due to the rising acceptance of same-sex relationships. Riiiiiiiiiigggghhht! Like I said, logic isn't his strong point! Similarly, women's liberation is also at fault for all the ills of society and most of all, for troubled young lads. It's too exhausting to address his many inaccuracies and prejudices toward women and since this review is long enough already, I'll just leave you to assume the worst - you'll most likely be right. I wish, instead, that he'd look at his own research. He claims again and again that fathers are essential to the raising of strong, good young men. I absolutely agree. So maybe men are to blame for the current male crisis? Just an idea? Did it ever occur to Dobson though? Nope! ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jun 04, 2011
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Jun 06, 2011
|
Jun 04, 2011
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Paperback
| ||||||||||||||
| 1416975861
| 9781416975861
| 1416975861
| 4.31
| 859,017
| Aug 31, 2010
| Aug 31, 2010
|
did not like it
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**spoiler alert** A lot of Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ friends that I have, people I deeply respect and whose opinions I actually hold in great value gave this book lot
**spoiler alert** A lot of Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ friends that I have, people I deeply respect and whose opinions I actually hold in great value gave this book lots of stars and glowing reviews. Friends of mine, you know I adore you, so please don't take offense at this review. If you enjoyed this book then I’m really glad you did. It makes me happy when people enjoy literature. So you probably shouldn't read this review if you love this book. It's nice to know that even though Cassandra Clare's Draco Trilogy ended years ago, I can pick up ANY SINGLE ONE of her books that she has published and see not only Draco’s character, but all my old friends from the Harry Potter Fanon Universe with different names and physical descriptions but otherwise pretty much intact. Because seven really long books just wasn’t enough for them apparently. It's nice to know that the snappy little one-liners and cheap hijinks are being recycled because they worked so well the first AND second time she used them. I don't think I've made it any great secret that I despise the writings of Cassandra Clare - so let me get the, few, good points out of the way so I can go back to imagining a world where authors like this are forcibly chained to their desks and made to read their own stories over and over again until they’re sorry. -She stopped using so many damn similes. I no longer feel like gouging out my own eyes every single time she tries to describe something. -There is no creepy incest in this book so my husband was spared walking in on me trying to choke the life out of a paperback novel. Andâ€� that about it. I mean, let’s face it, if the only good things I can say about this book are that she’s made slight improvements so that I no longer feel the urge to commit seppuku by diving head first into a meat grinder, then it’s not high praise. So what was wrong with this novel? Well, other than the fact that the characters were almost CARBON COPIES of ones that I’d read in City of Bones, Draco Dormiens, Draco Sinister and Draco Veritas, there was just so much to hate. The character building that they actually DO have only exists because she did the work years ago (on top of another author's pre-existing characters) â€� otherwise they’d be little more animated than the clockwork automatons that appear in this story. Don’t get me started on how she wiki’d “Victorian Societyâ€�, copy and pasted the information into word and then randomly injected it into the story via the characters parroting the cans and can’ts of the time period. Not even going there. It’ll take too long to complain about that. How about her inability to write a storyline that is in anyway surprising? Reading one of her novels is like watching a dumbed down version of Scooby Doo. I actually liked Scooby Doo (before Scrappy-Doo came along. Whoever made that character needed to be shot, hung, kheelhauled and quartered â€� the whole works) but you know how they’d go somewhere and they’d be like, “Hey guys, I think something’s going to happen! Hey, look gang, a perfectly inconspicuous diving maskâ€� I WONDER IF THIS COULD BE A CLUE *WINK**WINK**NUDGE**NUDGE* FOR ALL THE FIVE YEAR OLD KIDS PLAYING AT HOME!â€� In Clockwork Angel, Clare practically flags you down, makes you come look VERY hard at her clue that is painted bright, bright red and poorly hidden behind her back while she insists that it’s not actually there and giggles every time she tries to make you not look at her ENORMOUS FLIPPIN' CLUE. She insists on this behaviour until finally you pat her on the head, tell her that she ALMOST managed to colour inside all the lines. The whole concept of this book wasn’t original! It was her looking at the Internet culture going, “Huhâ€� so people are really getting into steampunk, eh? Hmmmmâ€� how can I cash in on this with as little effort on my behalf as possible?â€� She is recycling characters that she built on from the Harry Potter universe years ago. She's recycling storylines, conversations, personalities, plot-points, ideas and concepts from all around her and she recycles her own stuff (what little there is of it) just as frequently. When she was accused of plagiarism for lifting entire paragraphs of text from other authors without referencing it, she made a comment that it didn't really matter because - hey, isn't fanfiction just pastiche anyway? Well, fine. It was just fanfiction, who really cares? But I'd think after all these years she would have moved on past her pastiche style of writing to something that she could actually claim as her own. But you know what? She can't. I feel no guilt in saying that she doesn’t deserve to be published or to be earning the money that she is. I will proudly complain about her books until she actually starts to care about the fudge that she’s packing. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Sep 06, 2010
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Nov 09, 2010
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Sep 06, 2010
|
Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 1558580093
| 9781558580091
| 1558580093
| 4.21
| 158,890
| 1992
| 1992
|
did not like it
|
I'm always on the look-out for new, well-written children's books for my son. We had been reading him: Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed! and
I'm always on the look-out for new, well-written children's books for my son. We had been reading him: Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed! and Why Mommy is a Democrat. He loved the story and drawings! [image] [image] [image] However, he didn't seem to take to them as much as I thought he would...so I decided to find something else as informative, well-balanced and fun to read with my child. Then I came across The Rainbow Fish by Macrus Pfister. The Rainbow Fish is a story about a spectacular fish with amazing scales. Soon, other - boring fish - come and request a scale from the fish who turns them all down. The boring fish leave, causing the Rainbow Fish to be lonely. The Rainbow fish goes on a journey to discover why the other fish don't like him. The Rainbow Fish is soon told by the octopus that it is because he won't share his amazing scales. The Rainbow Fish then goes to the other fish and gives them his scales. Eventually all the fish have a shiny scale and the Rainbow Fish now has only one shiny scale left as well. The fish all play together happily. The end. Fantastic! A book about learning. Isn't that brilliant? I suggest that you go buy this book for your children. It's important that your children realize that it is NEVER okay to be different from other children. After all, we as people are not allowed to be stronger/weaker, smarter/less intellectual, creative/logical, physically, spiritually or emotionally better than others. In fact, we should ALL be the same. [image] And it's also important that you teach your children that, in life, they are entitled. If someone has something more - then it is okay to expect that they give it to you. In fact, you should shun them if they don't. If you work hard and have much - please remember you must share it all. Even if you don't want to. Don't expect to be liked just for your personality. You must give everything you have to ensure that you are liked. [image] Nothing is worse than being unliked. Don't let you children think differently or it could go very badly for them. Your individuality is not precious and there is no degree to which it can't be compromised in order to make people like you. Remember. WHO you are - your morals, intellect, personality and charm aren't nearly as important to you as they are to other people. Never be afraid to give away any part of yourself in order to be liked. Just like: [image] See! Even culture can be bastardized to fit in! Maybe I am being the grinch. Maybe I am bespoiling a perfectly good children's book. Or maybe I'm just wondering what the world would be like if all the Rainbow Fish gave away their pretty scales until there weren't any Rainbow Fish anymore... [image] Just think... we could all look like this! Who wants to share an earring? ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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not set
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not set
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Sep 05, 2010
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Hardcover
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| 073872582X
| 9780738725826
| 073872582X
| 3.45
| 9,811
| Feb 01, 2011
| Feb 08, 2011
|
it was ok
|
The Iron Witch, first book in Mahoney's new Iron Witch series tells the tale and Donna, a young female witch, and her adventures - if you could really
The Iron Witch, first book in Mahoney's new Iron Witch series tells the tale and Donna, a young female witch, and her adventures - if you could really call them that. You don't need to read this book. I can copy and paste an abbrieviated version right here. Donna: "Oh dear, my life is miserable. I'm different and unique from the people around me because I'm a witch but it's brought me nothing but pain." Xan: "No! MY life is miserable. I'M different and unique from the people around me because I'm *bleep* (Friends don't spoil friends) but it's brought me nothing but pain." Navin: "I'm here to forward the plot and provide tension." Donna: "Pain!" Xan: *Brooding* Donna: "Wait? What was that? I thought I saw something?" Xan: "It was just an elf. Now let's talk about my pain." Donna: "But I have scars!" Xan: "Oh! I have scars too! Let me show you!" Navin: "I think I should forward the plot a little more." Secret Order of Witches: "We're evil... but maybe this wasn't supposed to be immediately obvious to everyone..." Donna: "Damn my mental scarring and the irrational female bully whose sole existance is to unnecessarily torment me for no good reason other than to make me relatable as an outcast to my readership demographic! Oh, I think there's a mystery." Xan: "Let's go!" *Stuff Happens* The End. [image] Maybe we'd stop misunderstanding you if you'd stop looking so dumb. Just a thought... *By the way, if someone could explain to me what the fuck a "scene girl" is and then help me get rid of it, I'd be really grateful! Another irritating thing about this book? [image] this is the kind of arm scarring that would make a teenage girl self-conscious about and want to cover up with fashionable elbow length gloves. [image] These are totally awesome tattoos that would make other teenagers froth at the mouth with jealousy The former would be a brave thing for a writer to give to their character. The latter is what this author did. Look, you want to make your character have special, magical designs on their arms that give them super powers then fine. Don't try to pass it off as some kind of crippling disability though. That's just an insult. So, I don't know how one would manage to make a book about alchemy and dark elves boring but Mahoney did, which is a special kind of talent I suppose. The characters are completely flat and uninteresting. Most of this book revolves around the characters talking about their pain, empathising with each other's pain and then talking about MORE of their pain. The mystery? There is no mystery. The action? *Yawn* The world building? The pictures of cities that are painted into the windows of late-night talk shows are more interesting. There's just really nothing good about this book. But don't worry, highly visual, dramatic artwork and a good publicist will make sure the books get sold anyway. Mahoney will make a buttload of cash of her three part trilogy and people will keep asking me who Ursula K Le Guin and Margaret Atwood are. Figures. [image] ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 20, 2011
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Feb 24, 2011
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Aug 26, 2010
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Paperback
| ||||||||||||||
| 031253275X
| 9780312532758
| 031253275X
| 3.59
| 295,913
| Feb 03, 2009
| Feb 03, 2009
|
did not like it
|
How To Write Popular YA Supernatural Literature AND Defile Your Spirit! Based on the popular YA novel, Evermore, and aided by countless more like it, I How To Write Popular YA Supernatural Literature AND Defile Your Spirit! Based on the popular YA novel, Evermore, and aided by countless more like it, I have compiled an easy to read and follow list of rules for writing a popular series and being able to sell out your soul at the same time. Does that sound too convenient? Well, it's unbelievably easy to do if you follow my quick and easy program! 1. Create an 'Outcast' Heroine. It's important that your primarily female teenage audience can relate to your main character. So whilst you can't have your main character associate herself with being cool, it still has to be obvious to your audience that she totally is. Now, Meyer's approach of the goose-turned Swan-but was really still a goose, Bella, associated herself as 'different' and a 'loner' only to arrive at her new school and be immediately popular and accepted by almost everyone. Noel's method is different yet in a similar spirit. Her protagonist, Ever, was incredibly popular at her old school and has decided to be an outcast because she feels that she can't be accepted due to her psychic gift. She also has the ability to perceive someone's personality through the colours that define them. So instead of aligning herself with the shallow, mean and popular crowd, she aligns herself with the shallow and mean loners. It’s very important for your protagonists to be 'different' because today's youth despise the sheep mentality and so they all strive to be unique. Since they're all different in almost the exact same way, it is relatively easy to emulate this, with as little effort put into characterization as possible, in your female protagonist. [image] As long as she shows no regard for her clothing, appearance or any kind of interest in giving a shit about anyone but herself she will easily pass with young audiences. It will be her ewniqueness that eventually draws the Perfect Hero to her as opposed to any of the usual elements such as: looks, hygiene, personality or determinable interest in the world outside their own arse. Please also remember that she probably should be a reader, preferably of Wuthering Heights or Romeo and Juliet and that she should consider everyone around her to have inferior intelligence despite the fact that her reading repertoire extends to only a couple of books. A noticeably absent family is necessary and a completely dead family makes for a better story because then she actually has a perceived reason to be a moody, antisocial, self-absorbed little bitch. Do this even though, in all likelihood, she would be all of the above with a perfectly normal family. 2. Create a perfect hero. It is VERY important that your hero be perfect in almost every regard. Unlike the female protagonist who can disregard her appearance, he must not only be more attractive than a GQ model without any of the effort put into his appearance, but he must also be thoughtful, intelligent and mysterious. In no way is he to reflect almost every teenage boy to have ever existed and he must have no desire to find a partner for himself who is in anyway comparable in looks, kindness, intelligence or perfection. [image] If he is a vampire or some such immortal then he must be ridiculously wealthy. If he is a werewolf then he is allowed to be poor but must make up for it with incredible bedroom skills. He needn’t have a personality that extends beyond mysterious, sexy and in love with the female protagonist. Naturally, in this respect, Meyers, Mead, Marr and Stiefvater are something like overachievers - but if Noel, Saintcrow, Clare, Kate and Fitzpatrick are any indication, then we need know little more about the hero other than the fact that he’s gorgeous, has a secret and is in love. History, friends, likes, dislikes, family, passions, interests, hobbies and personality flaws are all negligible information that is taking up precious space in your novel. Especially when you could be injecting more drooling from the female protagonist in place of any kind of characterization for your hero. Your book will sell better if the hero stalks, follows, obsesses over and actively pursues the heroine beyond any realm of believability. You could triple your audience just by having him watch her sleep. 3. Create useless friends. It’s important to reiterate to the young adult generation that nobody other than the hero is important. Since domestic abuse begins with one partner manoeuvring the other to have limited contact with anyone else, we must strive to normalize this in literature. Thus the female protagonist shouldn’t have anyone close enough to her that she can’t break contact or eventually forget about them. It’s very important that her full focus, socialization and all of her needs are eventually devoted or met by the male protagonist. To aid this, her friends must be selfish, vain, crazy, slutty, uncaring or in other ways undeserving of the heroine’s attentions and affections. It’s very important that she never call them on their poor, damaging and graceless friendship but must lovingly worry about them for the minimal amount of time acceptable to the reader before once again completely focusing on the mysterious hero. 4. Mix in a twisted, convoluted plot designed entirely to provide dramatic and sexy subplot. It’s important that the plot, no matter how unlikely, must revolve around the hero saving the heroine. The villains do not necessarily need to have realistic or conceivable motivations for their actions. As long as the hero gets to save the day at least three or four times then your book will be profitable! Please remember that the actual plot of your story needn’t truly begin until at least 350 pages into your story. The longer you can stall any interesting event occuring, the less thinking you will actually need to do. Plus - FOR FREE - extras to help 'improve' your novel, the bottom line of your sales, and the expedient destruction of your soul. -How to create a senseless mythology. Mythology is more of a concept rather than something that needs to be respected or honoured. Vampires don’t need to refrain from daylight and angels no longer need to “fall� for good they can now be redeemed like us! The good news is that creating your own mythology, disregarding anything written before, allows you to twist and bastardize the plot beyond any recognizably interesting concept! -Explanations as to why research could actually DAMAGE your profit! Research takes time, energy and intelligence. Why do it? You’ve got ten fingers (presumably) and an attention span that extends past anything that could be compared to a gnat (even if it is only barely). Simply make it up as you go! For example: Ever is psychic. Research may tell us that this has something to do with receiving visions of the future or possibly commnicating with ghosts. Yet research is boring. Instead, she is imbued with the following powers that we guess can kind of be put under a psychic umbrella if we force enough information and logic out of our brains first: Mind reading, visions of near-present and future, personal life knowledge of any person she physically touches, seeing ghosts, seeing auras, literary osmosis from touching any written object, drawing the answers from any written question placed before her and any other supernatural abilities that seem convenient at the time. -Detailed observations on why the Deus Ex Machina rocks. Tying together a plot, even if you work to keep it as non-complicated or infantile as possible, is hard! It’s much easier to ignore tying together a number of plot points in any believable fashion and instead rely on some Deus Ex Machina to come in and take care of thoughtful planning for you! -How to expand one, nonsensical idea into a series and why this is more profitable than originality! Last, but not least! Ensure that your story is somewhat open ended so that you can create a series out of it! Research shows that people, even if they are intelligent enough to see that you’re writing is becoming progressively shittier and nonsensical, will often still purchase books in the series in order to find out what happens. So rather than creating a new story with new characters, simply beat the same old horse (it needn’t really be a horse � simply a pile of shit that’s been forced into a horse-like shape) for at least three or more books in order to squeeze every last cent out of the franchise that you can! This review can also be found on my blog, . ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Aug 24, 2010
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Aug 25, 2010
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Aug 09, 2010
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Paperback
| ||||||||||||||
| 0062002325
| 9780062002327
| 0062002325
| 3.93
| 29,960
| Feb 15, 2011
| Feb 15, 2011
|
did not like it
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I’ve thought long and hard to deterÂmine if there was a sinÂgle aspect of this book that I even liked. The charÂacÂters, the story-telling, the writÂin I’ve thought long and hard to deterÂmine if there was a sinÂgle aspect of this book that I even liked. The charÂacÂters, the story-telling, the writÂing, the themesâ€� was there anything? Ìý No.Ìý I tried but this book was painfully bad.Ìý I am not at all exagÂgerÂatÂing when I report that I fell asleep twice within the first twenty pages.Ìý This book was highly remÂiÂnisÂcent of both Buffy and Bleach.Ìý So what?Ìý Pretty much half the things pubÂlished in YA these days are remÂiÂnisÂcent of Buffy.Ìý UnforÂtuÂnately, you want to at least stand up a litÂtle in the comÂparÂiÂson.Ìý This is not comÂpaÂraÂble to Buffy. This is Buffy if Buffy weren’t Buffy but Dawn was Buffy. Would you really want to watch Buffy if Dawnnwere Buffy? I would like to take this opporÂtuÂnity to remind peoÂple that there is nothÂing wrong with writÂing a realÂisÂtic teenager.Ìý Ellie was cerÂtainly realÂisÂtic â€� for a cerÂtain type of teenager.Ìý She was vapid, shalÂlow, thoughtÂless, comÂpletely stuck in her own world and hopeÂlessly self-centered.Ìý This is a probÂlem for two reasons. Ìý 1. Nobody takes issue with this.Ìý Will menÂtions twice that she doesn’t take her duties seriÂously enough but this is laughed off and treated by the text as if he takes them way too seriously. 2. The fuckÂing world relies on her and her alone. [image] Look, I don’t want to be nitÂpicky, but this girl has our lives in her hands.Ìý What I want to know is, is there a way that can…not be the case? Ìý She’s so borÂing, and the novel becomes borÂing because of how borÂing she is. This is supÂposed to be a book about an immorÂtal warÂrior girl who fights Reapers to save humanÂity.Ìý It ends up being GosÂsip Girl with the occaÂsional monÂster.Ìý What conÂtinÂuÂally amazes me is that Ellie even has friends â€� because she has all of the wit and charm of a mouldy mop.Ìý Yet ReqÂuiÂsite BestÂfriend and ReqÂuiÂsite FriendÂzone FredÂdie just hang off every word she says. Ìý [image] Ìý We have Will who is one of those annoyÂing, broodÂing male romanÂtic interÂests.Ìý There’s not much to say about him because he’s like ALL broodÂing male romanÂtic interests. [image] They could have overÂcome the insurÂmountÂable obstaÂcles to their love and found a way to be together but he was too busy broodÂing and she was too busy shopÂping.Ìý Also the world ended along the way. Ìý The writÂing is borÂing and the plot is painfully slow.Ìý The plot is barely there and MoulÂton comÂpletely fails to marry the overtly long and comÂpliÂcated world buildÂing with any kind of reaÂsonÂable story arc.Ìý The only method she knows of conÂveyÂing inforÂmaÂtion is in masÂsive info dump conÂverÂsaÂtions.Ìý After you finÂish wadÂing through meanÂingÂless, vapid social interÂacÂtion after meanÂingÂless, vapid social interÂacÂtion you disÂcover that the few fight scenes there are in this book are painfully short and borÂing.Ìý How am I supÂposed to care about the end of the world and the posÂsiÂbilÂity of a Reaper conÂsumÂing my soul and conÂdemnÂing me to an eterÂnity in hell when all Ellie fuckÂing cares about is her parÂties and social standÂing?Ìý Oh, I’m sorry.Ìý She also cares about Mr Tall, dark, mysÂteÂriÂous and broody.Ìý They spend a lot of time talkÂing.Ìý A. Lot. of. time. It’s not like I expected her to go from 0-kickass in five secÂonds.Ìý But Ellie never at any point in this novel has a real revÂeÂlaÂtion about the fact that she’s got a divine fuckÂing misÂsion here.Ìý And it’s not to attend parÂties.Ìý Think about it.Ìý Every time she’s going to the movies with friends or cofÂfee, or a party, someÂone is out there dying.Ìý And not just dying. Their soul is going to burn in hell and sufÂfer eterÂnal torÂment and be used in Lucifer’s fight to conÂdemn ALL the souls.Ìý Every time Ellie decides to take a break and not be so seriÂous about her duties, which she does with alarmÂing freÂquency â€� a child, a woman, a man, SOMEONE will sufÂfer forÂever for it.Ìý Every time she needs to invesÂtiÂgate someÂthing or train and she says, “Oh, I’m busy at the movies tonight, can we do that in two days time?â€� she’s perÂsonÂally letÂting peoÂple down. The horÂror she expeÂriÂences every time she faces off against one of the Reapers (the horÂror for which we are meant to symÂpaÂthize as one of her strugÂgles) yeahâ€� well, she has both Will and a couÂple of kick arse swords when she faces off against them.Ìý Think of the chilÂdren who have had to face that horÂror on their own and have not survived. I have no symÂpaÂthy or emoÂtional investÂment in her at all.Ìý Sure, she doesn’t have her memÂoÂries, but even in flashÂbacks she is comÂpletely disinÂgenÂuÂous as an immorÂtal warÂrior fightÂing for humanÂity.Ìý When Buffy got her misÂsion, she woke up fairly quickly and realÂized that her hopes and dreams and free time were all comÂpletely inconÂseÂquenÂtial comÂpared to her misÂsion.Ìý Ellie did not have that realÂizaÂtion in this entire novel.Ìý EveryÂthing took a backÂseat to her social life and school calÂenÂdar.Ìý EveryÂthing.Ìý And this was not perÂceived to be a probÂlem.Ìý Not even by the narÂraÂtion which gives far more time and invests far more heavÂily in Ellie’s star-crossed lovelife than it does in the fact that there is an apocÂaÂlypse coming. There is someÂthing supremely wrong about that. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 08, 2012
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Feb 19, 2012
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Jul 10, 2010
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 0545123267
| 9780545123266
| 0545123267
| 3.76
| 491,042
| Aug 01, 2009
| Aug 01, 2009
|
it was ok
|
I started reading this book and a curious thing happened. Suddenly my house was sparkling clean, my bills were filed away, I started playing Farm Stor
I started reading this book and a curious thing happened. Suddenly my house was sparkling clean, my bills were filed away, I started playing Farm Story and reached level 13 in one day, I did my tax, I spent two hours chatting to the chatbott, Jabberwocky...Anything, and I mean ANYTHING to avoid the boredom of reading Shiver. Shiver, the story of a girl drastically into beastiality, only to find out her wolf lover was really a boy. As I read this book I had the strange urge to lock up my German sheppard should Grace ever decide to visit my home because she really does fall in love with a dog... for YEARS before she ever finds out it's a boy or that things like werewolves exist. I can't even begin to express how creepy her obsession with a wolf is. I get the whole eternal love thing. Perhaps Stiefvater was trying to show that Sam and Grace's connection transcends all the things love actually isn't supposed to transcend. Maybe I'm just weird and completely unromantic, but I've never looked at Fido and found a kindred spirit. I never passed a dog down the street and found that I couldn't be attracted to men because they just weren't going to cut it for me anymore. So, other than the fact that this book disturbed the fucking hell out of me, bored me to death and dragged on like a visit to the old folk's home, it was also poorly edited. The writing wasn't TOO bad. Some of the poems were down right rubbish, and some of the others were alright. Grace and Sam's voices were near identical. Oh, and another thing, Sam was annoyingly chaste for way too long. Where were all of these careful, thoughtful boys when I was in high school? It's a disturbing trend, really. Edward Cullen, Sam Roth, Daniel Gregori... they all came pre-pussy whipped and I'm kind of wondering what the attraction is. Maybe I'm just a sucker for bad boys. Maybe I like boys that I COULDN'T imagine comfortably playing bridge with my 80 year old grandma (not to mention enjoying it!) What is with the sudden need to keep us women in line? If I read one more paranormal, male hunk refuse the supposed love of his life, who is literally flinging her naked body onto him, then I think I'm going to start a convention... a Ball Replacement Convention. C'mon, Stiefvater! Give the boy his balls back, please! He complained that a jacket made him look bulky! He wrote a poem about a leaking womb! What teenage boy doesn't shudder at the thought of menstrual blood? What next? Chipped nail, PMS cramps? Is he going to stamp his foot and mutter, "Drat! I can't believe Jennifer is wearing the same dress as me! I think I might just die!" Look, I know I'm being incredibly sexist. After all, it was kind of nice to read about a "stoic" female character and an emotional, gentle male character. But Sam felt and read far too much like a middle aged woman and not like a teenage boy. I didn't feel like he was well characterized or fleshed out enough. So all in all, I can't muster the energy to rant about this book. It was REALLY boring. It was average on the writing scale. It's secondary characterization was pretty good but the main characters didn't do it for me. The plot was SLOW. Her parents were stupid. I could complain that they were unrealistic - but I've met some fucked up parents over my life, so I'll buy that they really could be that moronic. What I will complain about is where they get this amazing and varied social life in a small town. It never explains why Sam's fate is mysteriously different to Jack's. Maybe I'm just stupid... No. I don't buy that. Was it because he was out in the freezing cold so it kept his temperature reasonable? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of giving him a crazy-ass fever? Was it actually because he processed it as a wolf? Well that doesn't make sense because Grace never changed. And what's with the dramatic ending? Really? He gets cured and goes home and gets dressed and reads a few books, checks his mail, gives himself a mani and a pedi, goes on a diet, waits for his skin to clear up, buys the perfect set of shoes and THEN tracks down the love of his life who he thought he'd never see again? I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO! How about stumbling through the forest naked and desperately arriving in Grace's backyard because he can't believe the complete miracle of his cure and can't wait to have the love of his life back in his arms? Yeah, that ending makes so much more sense. I don't get why this is popular. But then, I don't get why Fallen is popular either. It's just all beyond me. Now I'm off to see if I can cram the word "balls" into this review anymore. Balls, balls, balls. Oh my goodness she fell in love with a dog! Balls. Balls. This review can also be found on my blog, . ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jul 04, 2010
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Jul 07, 2010
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Jul 04, 2010
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Hardcover
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Kat Kennedy
>
Books:
kat-s-rants
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my rating |
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| 4.05
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it was ok
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Jun 22, 2015
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Jun 20, 2015
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| 3.87
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did not like it
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Mar 28, 2015
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Mar 25, 2015
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| 3.76
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it was ok
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Mar 25, 2015
|
Mar 24, 2015
|
|||||
|
| 2.95
|
it was ok
|
Dec 04, 2013
|
Dec 02, 2013
|
|||||
|
| 3.84
|
did not like it
|
Aug 09, 2013
|
Jul 03, 2013
|
|||||
|
| 3.71
|
did not like it
|
Dec 08, 2012
|
Sep 29, 2012
|
|||||
|
| 3.99
|
did not like it
|
Aug 02, 2012
|
Aug 01, 2012
|
|||||
|
| 3.80
|
did not like it
|
Jan 26, 2012
|
Jan 25, 2012
|
|||||
|
| 3.99
|
did not like it
|
Jan 14, 2012
|
Jan 12, 2012
|
|||||
|
| 3.40
|
it was ok
|
not set
|
Jan 10, 2012
|
|||||
|
| 3.76
|
did not like it
|
Mar 28, 2012
|
Jan 02, 2012
|
|||||
|
| 3.89
|
it was ok
|
not set
|
Nov 13, 2011
|
|||||
|
| 3.82
|
did not like it
|
Sep 17, 2011
|
Sep 14, 2011
|
|||||
|
| 3.92
|
did not like it
|
Jun 06, 2011
|
Jun 04, 2011
|
|||||
|
| 4.31
|
did not like it
|
Nov 09, 2010
|
Sep 06, 2010
|
|||||
|
| 4.21
|
did not like it
|
not set
|
Sep 05, 2010
|
|||||
|
| 3.45
|
it was ok
|
Feb 24, 2011
|
Aug 26, 2010
|
|||||
|
| 3.59
|
did not like it
|
Aug 25, 2010
|
Aug 09, 2010
|
|||||
|
| 3.93
|
did not like it
|
Feb 19, 2012
|
Jul 10, 2010
|
|||||
|
| 3.76
|
it was ok
|
Jul 07, 2010
|
Jul 04, 2010
|
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