ŷ������

This play always holds a place in my heart and the top spot of most embarassing moments in my life. To be fair it was probably my fault as I’d never heard the superstition about not calling the “Scottish play�� by name, and since it was my role I’d been shouting Macbeth Macbeth Macbeth all day. In fifth grade we did a full production of this as our class play and I was honored to be cast as Macbeth (I went to a weird school). I still have many of my monologues memorized. Because memory loves embarrassing moments. And since embarrassing photographic evidence seems necessary, embarrassing photographic evidence is precisely what you shall receive:

Get a load of this asshole

Anyways, after months of rehersal the big day comes and they invite every 4th and 5th grade class to come watch along with all our parents and grandparents who wanted to be proud of me for a moment. When we get to the murder scene, the fake blood bottle exploded all over my hands and costume like I'd just murdered a whole army and not one little king.

So picture very sensitive, 9 year old me in an oversized medieval cloak my mom made with blood just dripping off my hands like a waterfall as you can also see an equal amount of blood draining from my face because I am very much overthinking it.
This play is getting dark and it's all going dark for me because somewhere mid-monolouge I both passed out and threw up allllllll over my fancy cloak (choose-your-own-adventure which came first).

I'm sure other things happened that year but this pretty much occupies my entire headspace for 5th grade. Oh, and this play rules. I’m particularly fond of Kurosawa’s adaptation of it as Throne of Blood, because who amongst us doesn’t have a slight crush of Mifune and him and I have shared a role. Put that on my tombstone.

In a way, one could view this play as the predictable fall-out from men having what is essentially a dick measuring contest and trying to be all most masculine man of the manor. Or castle. Whatever. But challenging ones “manhood�� is the fuel to the fire throughout the play. Lady Macbeth just needs to question his masculinity in order to manipulate him, and Macbeth calls the masculinity of his murderers into question to provoke them into offing Banquo. ��Dispute it like a man,�� Malcolm challenges, to which Macduff replies, ��I shall do so. But I must also feel it as a man.�� There is a direct line drawn between the cruel violence and this unhinged necessity to ��feel it as a man,�� and an entire kingdom hangs under the knife–it is also a reminder that being a king is about putting a kingdom first, the pull of proving ones masculinity centers insecurities of the self and tumbles into tyranny.

Its a tale as old as time that still brings about political chaos when the flexing of oneself as a “strongman�� throws everyone in a temper to prove they are “man enough�� or whatever weird toxic notions they want to project. One might recall politicians in their own day who used the same notion around masculinity in place of a personality. It also shows the threat of ambition for power can have violent consequences if it is not kept in check. As usual, Shakespeare’s legacy lives on from the ways his themes seem to remain relevant hundreds of years later.