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"If you think you have to earn enough points on someone's rubric for them to accept you, then either you're wrong to assume they won't love you for who you are, or they never loved you in the first place."

This book reads like a punch in the gut feels so naturally it's 5 out of 5 stars.

Deposing Nathan was one of my most anticipated books of 2019. I knew it was going to hurt. I knew it was going to wreck me. I knew it would love it. And I was 100% right.

Let me start with saying that I really love main-characters that enjoy cursing. No matter what you're gonna say, it's FUN and Nathan and Cameron seem to think so, too. So prepare yourself for a high dose of curse words. I also really love books about boys who fall in love with boys. Deposing Nathan is about coming to terms with who you are, it's about self-discovery and self-acceptance. Here comes a brief plot overview:

Nathan lives with his dad and his aunt, who moved in after his mother died when Nathan was 7 years old. He has an amazing girlfriend, he believes in God, he likes to paint and draw but doubts that his parents will let him take an art-degree. When Cam, the new boy in school approaches him on their first day after the summer break, they become instant friends. Cameron challenges Nathan's beliefs and turns his world upside down, to the strong dismay of his aunt. Every time Nathan disobeys her, her rules become stricter, her punishments crueller, and his relationship with Cam slowly breaks under the pressure. It doesn't help that their feelings for each other are more than those of just friends. One thing leads to another and one day Nathan wakes up on the lawn in front of his house, with a deep cut in his stomach and blood pooling around him. But the truth of what happened might hurt much more. And it will have to come out.

This is not an easy book. I won't coddle you, it won't hold back, it will show you just how messy life can be sometimes. But that is exactly why you should read it. On the one hand, it talks about the importance of truth and trust in all sorts of relationships - friends, lovers, family. On the other hand - spoilers ahead - it deals with the harsh reality of domestic abuse. There is a difference between strict parents and parents that enjoy punishing their children. Nathan's aunt definitely loves to see Nathan suffer. The smallest sidestep and she turns into a vicious beast. Seeing Nathan being humiliated by her hurt a lot, but it also made my blood boil in a way that few fictional characters ever did. She is basically a muggle version of Dolores Umbridge.

Just when I thought that this book could not get any better, it surprised me once again. So many YA books - romance, dystopian, fantasy - depict unhealthy and toxic relationships. I'm used to two characters getting a happily ever after even though they're clearly not supposed to be together. (view spoiler)[ I thought that it would be the same for Cam and Nathan. Yes they love each other, yes they went through a lot together, but that does not automatically mean that they are destined to be a couple. So when Cam explained that he couldn't be with Nathan because their relationship was messy and toxic - yes, he actually used the word toxic - I was stunned. (hide spoiler)] I had not seen that coming. Fifty pages earlier I had thought the exact same thing. And it was then that I knew that this book would receive no less than 5 stars.

Young adult literature manages to surprise me again and again. Books like this one are brave because they're not afraid to test the limits of what YA can do. They remind me why I love YA. Because it can move mountains. Because it lends a voice to matters that have mostly gone unheard. Because it gives strength to those in need. Because it doesn't underestimate teenagers. I could go on but all that's left to say is one thing: read Deposing Nathan.

Thank you to Page Street Publishing for providing me with a review copy!