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Debbie Petersen Wolven's Reviews > Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (Ya Yas, #1)
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I think Vivi WAS a tap-dancing child abuser. Any discussion of this fact ends at the "being whipped with the belt" scene. Vivi had no right to be enraged when this fact comes to light--she should have been embarrassed, yes. Her daughter arguably should not have revealed this dirty laundry but should have worked it through with her mother privately.
According to this book, a scrapbook of silly adventures with Vivi's zany friends makes that behavior forgivable...not an apology or explanation from Vivi. Daughter is chastened and forgives dear Vivi after reading the scrapbook.
Another thing...PLEASE, spare me the "Southern Women" stories. I live in the South and have never met anyone remotely like this...Thank God!
According to this book, a scrapbook of silly adventures with Vivi's zany friends makes that behavior forgivable...not an apology or explanation from Vivi. Daughter is chastened and forgives dear Vivi after reading the scrapbook.
Another thing...PLEASE, spare me the "Southern Women" stories. I live in the South and have never met anyone remotely like this...Thank God!
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Reading Progress
Started Reading
January 1, 2004
–
Finished Reading
July 13, 2008
– Shelved
July 13, 2008
– Shelved as:
absolute-drek
Comments Showing 1-19 of 19 (19 new)
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Debbie, I also live in the South, and my goodness, there are PLENTY of people like Vivi and the Ya-Yas.
You've obviously missed the fact that Vivi was mentally ill. A fairly obvious point which contributed to her neglectful & abusive behavior toward her child.
read the prequel to this book to learn exactly how much of an abuser Vivian was.
I believe it's called Ya-Ya's in bloom. And, yes, way more than just physical beating. Way more.
Vivi was also an abused child which is very typical - so typical it has a name "cycle of abuse". I don't think the scrapbook was just a bunch of zany stories. It was a vehicle for Sidda to more fully understand her mother. I think the fact that Vivi gave Sidda the book WAS her apology. People from that era were not prone to talking about their feelings.
Seriously. And, her mental illness is not an excuse. It's an explanation but not an excuse. She has no right to get upset and get verbally abusive with her daughter since 'abuser' was not a misrepresentation of Vivi Walker at all.
Rebecca Wells was my sisters best friend at LSU My sister has visited the parents at their home says James Garner was the perfect Shep but both the book and the movie went way too easy on the mom Shevwas way worse than she was portrayed
And of course she was raised by a crazy abusive mother
She obviously had ppd, with a nice dose of narcissistic personality disorder as well as whatever came from being abused herself.
I think that you need to remember that this was a completely different time to that in which we live now, and look at the story in that context. I grew up in this era. I can remember getting a few good wallops from my mother, which in all honesty I more than probably deserved. There is no point in sanitising the past - it is there to be learned from.
While I agree with your comments, can we take a moment to recognize that the your passionate reaction is actually an indication of a well written book? We don't have to justify or glorify the actions of an abuser to appreciate a remarkably told story.
There's also something to be said about the "dirty laundry" concept...when one of the participants cannot consent because they are underage, overpowered or for other reasons... its not THEIR dirty laundry. That laundry was all Vivi's, Siddalee was not a consenting adult. "Don't air your dirty laundry in public" should only apply to the business of consenting adults in non abusive or balanced power dynamic situations, not parent-child relationships. Otherwise it's a child keeping secrets for their abuser to preserve the abusers reputation.
I think it's fairly accurate. Most people don't feel guilty when they've been found out for doing something awful- they feel angry for it being revealed. The scrap book goes to explain her parenting style but doesn't excuse it. Regarding the writing- there would have been far more interesting ways to write this book. I personally found it tedious.
Vivi was mentally ill, mainly because of the way she was raised. While I agree that is no excuse, she does love her children just as much as any other mother. She did apologize, and has mended her wounds on Sidda as best as she could. I think the best part of this book was the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. This was when Vivi was happy, before her childhood caught up to her. Before you criticize it any more, please read it again and focus on how loyal the Ya-Yas are.
I just finished the book and maybe I’m biased because I’m in my 40s and came from a very abusive mother (physically, mentally and emotionally) so I would have loved to have Vivi as a mom. She had her issues due to how she was raised and oftentimes, that form of upbringing trickles down to the next generation. Remember, there were no child advocates back then- they were pretty much all spanking their children out of frustration. Only now are we really addressing parental issues and introducing “gentle parenting�- this wasn’t a thing back in the 60s. I thought the book was beautifully written and loved the sisterhood.
Sounds like a great and unique premise but horrible execution.
The story is set in the 1960s. Physical abuse was common around that time even though it isn’t nowadays. Please read it with the correct lens and then yes, condemn it. Just like the book puts the mother’s behaviour in perspective, so should you
I think child abuse, however, should definitely be revealed. Keeping it private is what allows it to continue. The mother's rage shows that it would have done little good to try to work it through privately, anyway.