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Jason Koivu's Reviews > Water for Elephants
Water for Elephants
by
by
Oprah's minions shall no longer rule my reading!
I probably would have disliked this less if I'd read the paperback instead of listening to the audiobook, where the narrator packed too much melodrama into the simplest of actions and mildest of emotions.
I don't think I've ever taken this long to get through an audiobook. Usually, I can just let it run and bust on through by doing boring jobs like yardwork or servicing my lady*. I just plug an audiobook into my ears and knock out those chores. . Both the book and the job whizz by. But instead of doing the dishes or weeding with Water for Elephants, I chose to do other auditory things. The days-long NFL draft came in handy.
* "My lady" is the term I use for my car. Get your mind out of the gutter!
I probably would have disliked this less if I'd read the paperback instead of listening to the audiobook, where the narrator packed too much melodrama into the simplest of actions and mildest of emotions.
I don't think I've ever taken this long to get through an audiobook. Usually, I can just let it run and bust on through by doing boring jobs like yardwork or servicing my lady*. I just plug an audiobook into my ears and knock out those chores. . Both the book and the job whizz by. But instead of doing the dishes or weeding with Water for Elephants, I chose to do other auditory things. The days-long NFL draft came in handy.
* "My lady" is the term I use for my car. Get your mind out of the gutter!
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Water for Elephants.
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Reading Progress
February 20, 2012
– Shelved
March 30, 2015
–
Started Reading
May 5, 2015
–
Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-39 of 39 (39 new)
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I agree with Erica. If you ain't loving it go ahead and run. Please get more girlie and read it better. LOL
I have a friend who said it took her several months to finish the book cause it was very slow and cumbersome
Yeah, I thought maybe I wasn't lady enough for this. Maybe I'll throw on a dress, jam a tampon up my butt and see if that helps.
Jason wrote: "Yeah, I thought maybe I wasn't lady enough for this. Maybe I'll throw on a dress, jam a tampon up my butt and see if that helps."I'm pretty sure that will only make you have cold legs and constipation which, contrary to misogynistic belief, is not more ladyish. Anyone can have cold legs and/or be constipated.
Erica wrote: "Jason wrote: "Yeah, I thought maybe I wasn't lady enough for this. Maybe I'll throw on a dress, jam a tampon up my butt and see if that helps."I'm pretty sure that will only make you have cold le..."
My mom was very cold and very constipated and she is my ideal of womanhood, and you can not tell me different!
the above comments lol. I read this awhile ago and I didn't much care for it either.I'm pretty girly, I think. I shave my legs and everything.
I only enjoyed the parts told from the old man's point of view-the rest of the story was like shards of glass taking across my eyes. Sometimes it's ojay to run away from your problems.
Phyllis wrote: "I only enjoyed the parts told from the old man's point of view-the rest of the story was like shards of glass taking across my eyes. Sometimes it's ojay to run away from your problems."Yes! The old man parts are written so much better than the reminiscences of him as a young man.
I enjoyed it, but WTF do I know.
Kevin wrote: "I enjoyed it, but WTF do I know."When it comes down to it, it's all subjective. You know what you like and that's what matters.
+Like for the comment thread. I'm not lady enough for this book either, but you won't see me trying to read it. I know my limits.
Carol. wrote: "+Like for the comment thread. I'm not lady enough for this book either, but you won't see me trying to read it. I know my limits."Well, I like to get in touch with my feminine side. For instance, if I had boobs, I'd touch them.
Jason wrote: "Well, I like to get in touch with my feminine side. For instance, if I had boobs, I'd touch them. "I totally believe this about you.
If you'd like, I can help.
Here's what you do:
Eat ice-cream for every meal. And hamburgers. And lard.
Do not move unless necessary (to go to the freezer for more ice-cream)
Slouch. All the time.
You will soon have boobs, three of them - two up top and a way bigger one beneath!
Helpful, yes?
Erica wrote: "Jason wrote: "Well, I like to get in touch with my feminine side. For instance, if I had boobs, I'd touch them. "I totally believe this about you.
If you'd like, I can help.
Here's what you do:
Eat ice-cream for every meal. And hamburgers. And lard.
Do not move unless necessary (to go to the freezer for more ice-cream)
Slouch. All the time.
..."
I can do these things! I've done them before, and I know I have the perseverance to obtain and maintain my ideal body!
Yes, I can!
PS: You should be a life coach.
Erica's suggestion is gold, but does take a bit of time to accomplish.Alternatively you can hire Troy and Abed to help do a boob transplant. Of course, the last time they did that, they did a foot transplant with it.
Jason, you are right! I should be a life coach! I have all the answers and I make up ones for anything I don't know!When I am a millionaire, I will send you only the finest, fattiest ice-creams for your breasticles.
Bwahahahahaha & eeyew, Carol!
Only, Troy and Abed are not to be trusted with much of anything. Also, they are probably too busy to try another transplant right now, what with six seasons and a movie, and all.
Ah, Community! I had to look that one up. Haven't seen anything but a few episodes from the first season and that was a while ago.
They had up and down quality. I bought the third season largely for two episodes--one which is a Law & Order spoof that was very well done, and one which was done in old-school video game format. Priceless.BTW, as soon as I'm fired from my job, I'm hiring Erica as a life coach.
Did someone force this book upon you?
Dan wrote: "Did some one force this book upon you?"Peer pressure.
If they liked this, they probably aren't your peers.
Dan wrote: "If they liked this, they probably aren't your peers."They aren't any more, I'll tell you what!
I didn't hate this, but didn't love it. Can I still be your peer???I was masochistic enough to watch the movie. Blergh.
Trudi wrote: "I didn't hate this, but didn't love it. Can I still be your peer???..."All day, every day, Trudi!
Travelin wrote: "It didn't seem better reading it, but I checked out early, before the characters probably started smothering each other."Yeah, I wanted to call it quits halfway through, but my stubbornness puts mules to shame.
While the review is funny, the comment section is...pure gold. Thanks buddy.
My vagina did the reading on this one . . . and was responsible for me watching the sparkly vampire movie version too. I'll go move Erica out of the shame corner and take her place for awhile.
Kelly (and the Book Boar) wrote: "My vagina did the reading on this one . . . and was responsible for me watching the sparkly vampire movie version too. I'll go move Erica out of the shame corner and take her place for awhile."Dude, I gave this four stars. It's the shaming, all over again.
And I listened to the audiobook, just like Jason. Though, to my credit, I told Jason to stop reading/listening because it wouldn't end well for him but he didn't heed the warning so his hatred can't make us have shame for our like...tred because he was warned. WARNED, I say!
I don't even know where the logic in that argument is but it doesn't matter because I am right and the DUFF is stupid, dammit!
There are certain lady-like books I'd like to read, but if it takes a vagina to enjoy them perhaps I'll wait and see how Jenner does with his. If it works out, I'll get one, read a few of these books and when I'm done, stick Petey* back on.* my penis
Erica wrote: "...so...this?"
Ah so it was King Missile that wrote that song! Well that makes sense.
Oh god no! It's in my to read pile :/
Donna Cat wrote: "Oh god no! It's in my to read pile :/"Chuck it right out, DC, right out!
Really? I love this book. Different strokes, I guess.
Rob wrote: "Really? I love this book. Different strokes, I guess."Definitely. I'd say I'm in the minority in my opinion of this one.
The first two lines were bloody hilarious! :D
I started this today and got through about 60 pages when I decided it's just not worth it. Saw the movie and enjoyed it, the book, not so much.
Jacqueline wrote: "I started this today and got through about 60 pages when I decided it's just not worth it. Saw the movie and enjoyed it, the book, not so much."I should try the movie. I bet I'd enjoy it more than the book.
If you're halfway through and it's not doing much for you, you're going to be slogging to get to the end. I mean, I read this awhile ago and don't actually remember it that well but I do remember that it didn't change in the final quarter to become a new story, soooo...
This may be one of those very rare instances that you are:
1) not girly enough
2) reading it wrong
3) just not the audience for this particular tale.