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Every Which Way But Dead by Kim Harrison
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bookshelves: urban-fantasy, not-your-ordinary-creatures, angels-and-or-demons, fae, favorite-secondary-characters, jerk-of-my-dreams, some-kinda-magic, vampires, weres-shapeshifters
Read 4 times. Last read May 21, 2014 to May 24, 2014.

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You know how "they" say the things you hate in others are the things you like least about yourself?

When I was 21, after an extreme bout of poor decision-making, I decided to take a sabbatical from dating. In quick succession, I had dated a slightly-younger-than-me guy, a guy who was my age, and a more-than-slightly-older-than-me guy, and they were ALL great, big lamewads.

19 y.o. Mark, the 6'7'' college basketball player and DRAMA QUEEN liked to wake up, drink milk, and then try to kiss me . . . I tried (really hard) to come up with a collection of letters that could accurately describe how completely disgusting that was, but failed utterly. Then there was 22 y.o. Ryan, who onlywantedonething. Then there was 29 y.o. Luke, who hated his job and was under-appreciated in his work. Even though he wasted many a morning shooting emails back and forth with me instead of, oh, I don't know, working.

I made it nearly a year, and it was fabulous. I would have made it longer, but I started working at the front desk of a local gym, and well . . . I'm only human. *wink*

Then right before I met my husband (who is, of course, perfect *snorts*), there was Ivan the hipster musician, who . . . played his own music in his car on our one and only date.

Oh yes. He did. Come on, guys, I can't make stuff like this up.

All of them had great, big WARNING signs flashing over their heads, and I chose to ignore every, single one of them. Then when things didn't work out, I (being the ridiculous female I was) wailed and lamented, "What's wrong with me? How did I manage to scare him off this time? Oh, what a world!"

*rolls eyes*

At the time, it didn't matter that these guys were all HEP-big losers . . . I liked them, damnit!

And all of that is why I (in equal parts) am completely exasperated with, love, and relate to Rachel Morgan.

Let's talk about Rachel's love interests thus far.

Fair warning: this is more of a commentary on Rachel's love life so far than a review. But come on . . . it's book 3. Either you've read it and know what I'm talking about, or, if this was a normal review, you'd be afraid I'd spoil you, so this is a new thing I'm trying. No spoilers this way, AND a chance to vent.

First up, we have Nick. Nick, whom she met in the ring of an illegal rat fight, b/c he had been turned into . . . well, a rat . . . in retribution for his sticky fingers. And not just any old case of sticky fingers either, nope, Nick got sticky-fingered with the belongings of a MASTER friggin' VAMPIRE.

So Nick has a loose moral code, AND is either too stupid to realize how stupid and dangerous it is to steal from a master vampire, or is so cocky he thought he could get away with it. Or both. Could definitely be both. But he did save Rachel's life, and he's awfully geek-sexy, and well, humans apparently have a bit more going on down there than male witches . . . He took a demon mark for her! Come on . . . doesn't he deserve a chance?

NO. No, he does not.

Then there's Kisten . . . ye gods . . . So many road blocks that should never have been ignored.

All you lovers-of-Kisten, CALM DOWN. I love him too. As a character. But as a potential boyfriend for Rachel . . . well, let's look at this rationally:

1. He's a VAMPIRE. Rachel refuses to ever be food for a vampire. IT'S A PROBLEM. Even if you want to argue that Kisten is a living vampire, and therefore technically doesn't need blood yet . . . YET. Kisten WILL die, and when that happens, Kisten will lose his SOUL, and he will NEED blood. Even if Rachel really does like Kisten-the-living-vampire, she will want absolutely nothing to do with Kisten-the-true-undead, and Rachel's not interested in casual that I can tell.

This relationship was DOOMED before it even got started.

2. Their very first "date" was a SHAM. That Kist would blindside her that way does NOT bode well. And then she gets all goo goo-eyed b/c he saved her . . . *grinds teeth* . . . if he hadn't asked her out under false pretenses, her life never would have been endangered in the first place<------ALL of that would be in caps if I wasn't worried about annoying the hell out of you. But know that I am screaming in my head.

And Lee . . . Lee is more of a flirtation than a real romantic interest, but he is also a perfect example of Rachel's stupidity with men. Almost immediately after she lays eyes on him for the first time, she sees that he has a DEMON MARK, but still, after he teaches her how to gamble, she's disappointed that he leaves without asking her for her number.

I know I'm not the only one driven crazy by this kind of behavior, but I also know that I'm not the only one who feels this way due to flashbacks of "I am become that which I hate."

But relationship choices aside, EVERY WHICH WAY BUT DEAD continued the steady improvement of the THE HOLLOWS. More action, more new characters to love, more to love about old characters . . . and all of that is in addition to yet another definitive and unique plot with side-plots weaving through all the while, paving the way for new adventures. Seriously people . . . come and watch Rachel grow and learn from her mistakes with me. This is not a series to be missed.

Jessica Signature

My other reviews for this series:

Dead Witch Walking (The Hollows #1)
The Good, the Bad, and the Undead (The Hollows #2)
A Fistful of Charms (The Hollows #4)
For a Few Demons More (The Hollows #5)
The Outlaw Demon Wails (The Hollows #6)
White Witch, Black Curse (The Hollows #7)
Black Magic Sanction (The Hollows #8)
Pale Demon (The Hollows #9)
The Undead Pool (The Hollows #12)
Into the Woods: Tales from the Hollows and Beyond
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Quotes Jessica � � Silverbow � � Liked

Kim Harrison
“Hey, ah, does anyone want a cookie or something? Oh yeah. A cookie. That would make everything better. Dunked in a shot of tequila , maybe? Or better yet, just the bottle? Yeah, that ought to do it.”
Kim Harrison, Every Which Way But Dead

Kim Harrison
“Join us next time for Days of the Undead when Rachel learns her long lost brother is really a crown prince from outer space.”
Kim Harrison, Every Which Way But Dead

Kim Harrison
“Hey, you freakin' bastard," I breathed. "You hit me again and I'll take care of your family planning.”
Kim Harrison, Every Which Way But Dead

Kim Harrison
“Typical" Kisten said, his eyes dramatically sad. "Try to do something nice for a person, cheer her up, and what do I get? Abused and robbed.”
Kim Harrison, Every Which Way But Dead

Kim Harrison
“Quen's gaze went to Ivy and Jenks.
Peeved, I crossed my legs and shook my head. "We're a team. I'm not asking them to leave so you can tell me of whatever piss-poor problem you've landed yourself in."
The older elf's brow wrinkled. He took an angry breath.
"Look," I said, my finger jabbing out to point at him. "I don't like you. Jenks doesn't like you. And Ivy wants to eat you. Start talking.”
Kim Harrison, Every Which Way But Dead


Reading Progress

Finished Reading
Finished Reading
Finished Reading
June 19, 2012 – Shelved
May 21, 2014 – Started Reading
May 22, 2014 –
5.0% ""Damn it!" Jenks swore, frustrated. "What the hell are you, woman?"
"Jenks!" I shouted in alarm as Ceri's hand flashed out, snagging him . . .
"I'm Ceri," she said, her thin lips tight as Jenks hovered, snared. "And even my demon captor had enough respect that he didn't curse at me, little warrior."


You tell him, Ceri!"
May 22, 2014 –
9.0% "He sniffed. "I thought Jax would be the first one to leave to start his own garden."
My breath slipped from me in understanding. "I'm sorry, Jenks. She'll be fine."
"I know, I know." His wings shifted into motion, sending the scent of fallen leaves over me. "One less pixy in the church," he said softly. "It's a good thing. But no one told me it was going to hurt."


JENKS! *sobs*"
May 22, 2014 –
17.0% ""You have money," I said. "Anyone can show a girl a good time with enough money . . . "
"Nick was a cheap ass, huh," Kisten offered, trying to hide his ire.
"Watch you mouth," I shot back.
"Yes, Ms. Morgan."


*flails*

The sultry submissiveness in his voice yanked my thoughts back to the elevator.

Hot DAMN. I'll be Ms. Morgan!"
May 22, 2014 –
27.0% "Music rolled from the speakers in the ceiling, loud and insistent. A heavy beat, a tinny snare drum, a corny synthesizer, and a raspy voice. It was Rob Zombie's 'Living Dead Girl,' and as I stared in disbelief, the varying motions of the clean-limbed and scantily clad female vamps shifted to the rhythmic, simultaneous movements of a choreographed dance . . .
Oh-my-God. The vampires were line dancing.


!!!"
May 23, 2014 –
47.0% ""Rachel, honey," he said. "You been bitten by a Were?"
A sigh came from me. "Nope. Never you and never Ivy. No one bites me but mosquitoes, and I squish them. Little bastards."


Stoned Rachel is stoned, LOL."
May 24, 2014 –
56.0% "God, this was depressing. I had to find a way to apologize to Jenks. Maybe if I sent him a clown-delivered telegram. Maybe if I was the clown."
May 24, 2014 –
64.0% "Affronted, I huffed at him. "Go suck on a dandelion, Jon."

Yeah, Jon. Go suck on a dandelion."
May 24, 2014 –
67.0% "But even as I thought we made the perfect couple, I realized that though we were together, each of us was alone . . . We were simply standing next to each other looking good.

The ACHE. Gah! Rachel and Trent KILL me."
May 24, 2014 –
73.0% "The warm water I was sitting in was nice. I had been in it long enough to prune twice, but I didn't care. Ellasbeth's sunken tub was fab. I sighed, leaning my head back and staring at the ten-foot ceilings framed by the potted orchids lining the bathtub. Maybe there was something to this drug lord business if you got to have a tub like this.

LOL."
May 24, 2014 –
86.0% ""I am tired of your crap!" I exclaimed. "Nobody tries to put a black charm on me, and nobody traps me in a boat with a bomb. Nobody! You hear me? Who in hell do you think you are, coming into my city and trying to take over?" Rolling him over, I snatched. David's paper from behind his coat. "And this isn't yours!" I said, holding it high like a trophy.

I love it when Rachel loses her mind. "Nobody!" LOL."
May 24, 2014 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-39 of 39 (39 new)

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message 1: by Anne (new)

Anne Amen to the when I was younger dating. Good God, I wouldn't go back through that for anything. Luckily, now that we're older, we've both managed to find Mr. Perfect.
crickets chirping
Or maybe, Mr. Didn't-Try-To-Kill-Me-With-A-Cardboard-Box-And-Gas.
Close enough, right?


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

Aren't I lucky, I never did the dating thing, but I feel like I'm missing out on funny stories.


message 3: by Jessica � � Silverbow � � (last edited May 28, 2014 02:10PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Anne wrote: "Amen to the when I was younger dating. Good God, I wouldn't go back through that for anything. Luckily, now that we're older, we've both managed to find Mr. Perfect.
crickets chirping
Or maybe, Mr..."


LOL!! Yeah, that's definitely good enough for me. And no, I would NOT go through any of that again EVER. *shudders*


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Kat Stark wrote: "Aren't I lucky, I never did the dating thing, but I feel like I'm missing out on funny stories."

Only someone who hasn't experienced the horror can feel like they're "missing out" on morning breath + milk attempts at kissing, and narcissist hipsters, LOL. You did not miss a THING. Yes, you are lucky ;)


message 5: by Anne (new)

Anne Kat Stark wrote: "Aren't I lucky, I never did the dating thing, but I feel like I'm missing out on funny stories."

I went on a date with a guy that looked really normal. End of the night, he tells me he has to share his 'secret' with me.
Hand on a Bible...he says, I can move KEYS with my mind.
I didn't stick around long enough to find out if he thought he could move anything besides keys.


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

O_O SEE!! FUNNY STORIES!! LOL


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ But what if he COULD?!

I was on an organization field trip in college, and I fell asleep in the van on the way to wherever we were going. I woke up, and the guy sitting next to me had scooched himself rightnexttome and was breathing heavily in my ear, and twirling my hair. GAH.


message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

Okay...that is less funny and more creepy. I've only had my share of creepers online. Friends usually give them the glare if someone tries in RL.


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Yeah, I can't think of any really funny dating stories (besides the hipster musician one). Most of my dating stories are either creeper or asshole stories :( I've got funny married stories . . .


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

And hurr-fucking-ray for those ones :) Married women unite!!


message 11: by Mindy (new)

Mindy I was worried about spoilers when I started reading your review and so glad I continued reading! What a great review. Fun real life stories and a look at what's coming. Can't ask for a better review. =)


Armina Great approach to this review, Jess! :) So funny. And I agree on all Rachel men. Though Kisten is Kisten. :)

This was my first full 5 stars book in the Hollows and the point where you really could feel how the series is getting better and better.


message 13: by mich (new)

mich AAAH, I LOVE THIS REVIEW!! :) Hehe, I've got my fair share of horror dating stories, but I think I'll keep them to myself :P
*too embarrassing and want to pretend it never happened*


Kribu I love this review. And it's spot-on about the men Rachel's into in this book.

The emphasis on all the men (and the not-so-smart decisions with it!) was a major reason why I cared less for this book than the previous one.

(Also, damn I'm glad I've never done the dating thing. There are definite plus sides to not being interested in that stuff!)


Christine Wallflower & Dark Romance Junkie Great review, Jessica!!!


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Mindy wrote: "I was worried about spoilers when I started reading your review and so glad I continued reading! What a great review. Fun real life stories and a look at what's coming. Can't ask for a better revie..."

Thank you, Mindy! What's more fun that drudging up old, bad dating stories and talking about books? I can't think of much ;)


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Armina wrote: "Great approach to this review, Jess! :) So funny. And I agree on all Rachel men. Though Kisten is Kisten. :)

This was my first full 5 stars book in the Hollows and the point where you really could..."


Thanks, Armina! And I think so too. That's probably why all the shenanigans in book 4 were such a disappointment. BUT I'm past that now, and book 5 (what I've reread of it anyway) is back on track. I'm taking a short break b/c I have GOT to read and review some arcs, or I'm going to get blacklisted . . .


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ mich wrote: "AAAH, I LOVE THIS REVIEW!! :) Hehe, I've got my fair share of horror dating stories, but I think I'll keep them to myself :P
*too embarrassing and want to pretend it never happened*"


I'll probably wish I had kept these to myself at some point too, but I couldn't help it! The Rachelness of it all, LOL.


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Kribu wrote: "I love this review. And it's spot-on about the men Rachel's into in this book.

The emphasis on all the men (and the not-so-smart decisions with it!) was a major reason why I cared less for this b..."


See I still liked this one a lot (b/c TRENT), but I see your point. Not having awful dating stories is a definite perk of not fooling with it, but I can see why you'd have less patience with Rachel, not being able to sympathize--lucky you ;)


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Christine The Dark Romance Junkie *Reads YA Like A Boss* wrote: "Great review, Jessica!!!"

Thanks, Christine!


Rhonda Stees-marcial Great review. I agree with you on your thoughts about Rachel's boyfriends.


message 22: by Exina (new) - added it

Exina Nice real life analogy, Jessica! Love your review! :)


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Rhonda wrote: "Great review. I agree with you on your thoughts about Rachel's boyfriends."

Thanks, Rhonda! And I wish I could somehow reach Rachel through the page and shake her while yelling, "Make good choices!" LOL.


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Exina wrote: "Nice real life analogy, Jessica! Love your review! :)"

Thank you, Exina!!


message 25: by [deleted user] (new)

I stopped reading your review before knowing every love interest in Rachel Morgan's life b/c, you know, I don't want any spoilers,lol. ;) How come you dated so many DIFFERENT guys?! Don't you like have a preference?


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ B/c it was a learning experience? And hey, sabbatical, so clearly I recognized that it wasn't working for me ;)


message 27: by Jo (new)

Jo ★The Book Sloth★ HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Best review I've read lately. I've only ever had one "bad" date. I'm sooo not sharing! I usually fall for nice guys(unlike my book boyfriends).


message 28: by [deleted user] (new)

I am so with you in the run down of Rachel's love life! It's the only thing that ever lets me down in this series (having to go elsewhere to get really good swoons because she just picks lame guys) Jessica, this is how I feel about all your reviews.



Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Jo wrote: "HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Best review I've read lately. I've only ever had one "bad" date. I'm sooo not sharing! I usually fall for nice guys(unlike my book boyfriends)."


Thanks, Jo! I didn't like nice guys until I learned the hard way that bad boys are BAD. And that took awhile to learn b/c stubborn.


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Kira wrote: "I am so with you in the run down of Rachel's love life! It's the only thing that ever lets me down in this series (having to go elsewhere to get really good swoons because she just picks lame guys)..."

I like you too, Kira! I've been grinning like an idiot at that gif for like a whole min. (view spoiler)


message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

(view spoiler)


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ (view spoiler)


message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

(view spoiler)


Robyn Jones Kisten is so very awesome and a total plaything. You're so right, it's doomed from the start. And Nick. Grrh.


Jonetta I love, love, love your review!!!!


Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Jonetta wrote: "I love, love, love your review!!!!"

Awww shucks. 😬


message 39: by Desi (new) - rated it 5 stars

Desi Fantastic review lol


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