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5 stars

I'm sorry I need a moment...or ten


If I ever want anyone to fuck me up so thoroughly I barely know how to live my life without them, I'd let Shay do the honours. BECAUSE DAMN that man knows how to ruin you.

This book took Shay's character to a whole new depth of obsession, manipulation, and lunacy.

🛑SPOILERS. Ending thoughts hidden in a tag🛑

He became so controlling, to the point where he was in charge of Mina's clothing, food, friends (or no friends, to be more accurate), her comings and goings (actually no comings or goings of any kind), he refused to let her see her stepfather AND FUCKING BRANDED HER PERMANENTLY.

his hand painfully grips a fistful of my hair and gives me a shake. "Say, 'I understand, Shay.'"
"I-I understand Shay," I hiccup through my tears.
"Say, 'I will do what you tell me, Shay.'"
"I will do what you tell me, Shay,"
"Say that you are mine!"
I swallow back the lump in my throat and whisper, "I'm yours."

If she tried to disobey, he taught her a lesson in blood. Not her own, never her own, but those of other people.

That was my favourite thing about Shay, by the way. He never abused her physically. I mean why would he bother when he basically mind fucked her this entire book? His brand of abuse was so much more impactful, hurtful, and lethal. He took her and moulded her into everything he needed, something that physical abuse would never achieve without her fearing him. And Mina? She was mentally raped 300 ways, in every position, and she still felt safe with him.

Here's where we talk about the brilliance of this character development:

Mina initially gave into Shay to protect Keenan. At first she was disgusted, ashamed, and guilty of the things he made her do after dark. Then she began to crave it because that was the only thing that managed to make her feel good anymore.

When before, she was outraged by Shay's controlling nature, with time her entire life revolved around pleasing him. Every action she took was with him in mind. At some point she no longer felt comfortable being her old carefree self because she was in a Shay induced shell for so long.

This man is so talented🤧

She truly and completely loved Shay while fully acknowledging all the shit he had done to her. AND I BELIEVED IN HER LOVE. That is what I appreciate about this series so damn much. Anytime a heroine falls in love with her abusive hero I always ask the same questions.....why? How?? For what???

In Torment however, it all made sense, it was believable and I genuinely understood why she might feel the way she does. It wasn't pure or natural. The love she developed was agonisingly confusing and forced upon her in a way that she could not escape.

Truly, Miss Dylan, my heart goes out to you for writing such a bleak yet amazing portrayal of grooming. Shit was so good, Shay managed to groom me as well.

Something else that I found refreshing was the way this entire book felt...

To be more specific, every time I read dark books with disturbing content, it always feels as if all the insanely dark shit is completely normal. Like it happens to everyone in everyday life, I don't feel the danger or the stakes.

In this series, even though the things Shay does really aren't as disturbing comparing to some of the things I've read, it affected me more. I felt how wrong everything was. How horribly dangerous the circumstances were for Mina, how deranged the hero became, it all felt so much more powerful without being over the top.

Okay, now that I'm done fangirling, I'll go and fangirl some more...

This is me cutting to the chase: the ending was devastating and so damn perfect.
I am actually kind of in shock at the route this book took...and not for the reasons you might think.

(view spoiler)[Well slap my ass and call me Sally......

MY FUCKING THEORY WAS RIGHT YA'LL (if you wonna see the theory I had for the twist of this series click here, it's in my first review hidden in a spoiler) and the thing is.....I really did not think that was how things would go. I thought I was really reaching with all those conspiracies, some things were just not adding up so I kind of swept it under the rug...but now that it happened I can't say that I'm mad about it.

Shay's end? Magnificent, heartbreaking, redeeming, beautiful....every appraising adjective I could think of.

Mina's end? pretty good💀
Listen I'm happy for her and all, but I don't know about Keenan I'm sorry. I wished she didn't end up with either of the men if I'm being honest. Plus Keenan was barely present in this book and I wasn't feeling him as a love interest.
But hey, she happy = I'm happy.

And of course Dylan Page had to pour acid over fresh wounds by introducing Shay's lil grey eyed offspring.
(hide spoiler)]

Overall: I paused my uncontrollable crying to write this review, so now I'm going back to it.