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“And I suppose, the fear of losing each other is always stronger than the pain we cause.��

Heartfelt yet so very toxic

Addicted to you revolves around two characters Lily and Loren, who are extremely flawed but it’s easy to understand why given their contrasting addictions. Their addictions have upended their lives for so many years without external support to deter them further from it. Their struggles to disengage in their self destructing behaviors while loving each other is continuously tested until eventually one of them hits rock bottom and is forced to make the necessary changes needed.

This is unquestionably NOT your typical romance book by any means lol It’s so much more than that so don’t expect pure romance or you’ll be disappointed. It’s more so centered on the real and raw aspect of what each addiction looks like and the hurtful damage it inflicts when enabled.

“Our indecencies became our rituals, and our families didn’t need to know about them.��

The cofactor to their story revolves around wealth and society as both characters come from wealthy families and so much is expected from them esp from their damaging parents.

“There’s an underlying judgment that comes with surrounding ourselves with other people.��

I lovedd the found family they made. As they’ve only ever had and relied on each other as their addictions made it difficult to let people in easily. Even more considering the possibility in being called out on their bs. Each of them helped in balancing out their story so it didn’t feel so heavy as they were so used to the system they had. I’m pretty excited to get to rose and Connor’s book because of that

"This system works. I know you don't see it, but it does. And…and everyone's better off. Lo and I, our addictions only affect each other. And we've learned to deal with it"

Now onto to the most important people

“You're a permanent fixture in my life. You're not going any-where."

Lily and Loren are both extremely complex characters. I was equally annoyed at times yet felt such compassion for them. I think the Ritchie sisters did great with the portrayal of each, as their characters were written so profoundly in not sugarcoating the destructiveness and messiness that occurs with each addiction.

They understood and spent most of their lives concealing their addictions from everyone around them but they were also such enablers to it. They both didn’t want to seek out help for each other bc then it would mean they’d have to let go of their own addiction which neither was willing to do. Lily would enable lo’s uncontrolled drinking and lo would enable her sexual appetite and it became a normalized ritual for them.

So yes, they were both caring of one another, just as they were selfish, and the love they had was completely toxic but at least they were aware. Enabling each others addictions was what allowed them to sink further �� making it so difficult for them to crawl out of that.

“Our selfishness wedges between us. Neither of us is willing to give up what we love for each other.��

As you get further in, you’ll notice and understand the impenetrable bond they share as friends and in their relationship. The depth of their struggle and fight for a real functional and normal relationship bc they didn’t know how without hurting each other really pulled on my heartstrings.

“Why can’t I have an addiction that people understand? It’s a vile thought—to wish for an addiction many die with.��

Everything is told in Lily’s pov so we notably see the actual depiction of her addictions. Her addiction started when she was really young and her need to feel satiated has only increased since then. She’s also deeply aware of how messed up she is which allowed me and maybe others to see her flawed persona for who she is. Other than being constantly at war with her impulses through guilt and shame.

“Our love should have mended all the pain and the hurt. Instead, we're met with more complications, more consequences, more frowns and furrowed brows.

She repeatedly questions her way of being and her actions even though she doesn’t stop. It was impossible not to feel for her character esp bc she tries to not give in to her urges and even more with lo in making things work.

“I love you, but I want to love you enough that I never choose alcohol over you.

Loren said so many heart tugging things that got to me as you’ll see. And while this isn’t in his pov, lily does well in explaining what it’s like on the outside for him with his own addiction as an alcoholic. Which could be described as him being so tormented, lost, and just miserable. With the way lily described him, I wanted so badly to see where his mind was with all that was happening as his addiction was not only hurting himself but lily as well.

He was just as caring and protective of lily as he was frustrating to listen to. There were times he was passively aggressive and while it’s not excusable it’s understandable given his alcoholism. There’s just so many layers to that honestly

“I'll always be yours. No distance or time apart will change that, Lily. You need to believe that.��

So if you want something real (given the nature of each addiction), with complex characters and plot, extremely unconventional, tender, intense, and entertaining read this.

The way the emotions were running high and getting all intense towards the end is why I’m already looking forward to the whole series. That should tell you enough 😅

Other quotes that stood out:

“We're terrible at so many things - remembering important dates, college, making friends - but the one thing we've always been halfway decent at is being together. We owe it to ourselves to try."

“I want to be someone you deserve. Who can help you rather than enables you, and I can’t begin to do that until I get help for myself.��

“We wanted everyone to believe we’re good people, but we’re not �� We’re selfish and miserable��

“He knew the only way for me to truly fight is if I have something to lose.��

“I guess the only way to be close to me is to inject yourself in my world because I won’t make the move to enter yours. That’s horrible, isn’t it?��

Thanks to the girls on here that influenced me to read this especially emara as I loved it ♥️