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Megan's Reviews > Sociopath: A Memoir
Sociopath: A Memoir
by
by
Megan's review
bookshelves: autobiography-biography, memoirs, mental-health-illness, published-in-2024
Jun 09, 2024
bookshelves: autobiography-biography, memoirs, mental-health-illness, published-in-2024
In her own words, Patric Gagne is, unquestionably, a fauxciopath. I鈥檓 honestly still questioning if this whole 鈥渟tory鈥� isn鈥檛 a complete joke; one awaiting reveal once sales are no longer high. I鈥檓 being serious.
It鈥檚 not because the initial conundrum I thought I was experiencing (and had fully expected to experience, given the nature of the illness). Of course embellishment and lying are part and parcel of a sociopath鈥檚 identity, so it it鈥檚 important to know and accept that you鈥檒l be dealing with an unreliable narrator.
That鈥檚 not what the issue is at all, though. I鈥檝e always been incredibly underwhelmed and annoyed by people who write books, go onto television shows, appear for interviews, under the auspices of being a sociopath.
It just doesn鈥檛 add up at all with sociopathic behavior (and believe me, I do know a couple confirmed ones - but they鈥檒l be the last to agree to this label, as they either truly fail to comprehend it, or they prefer not to be questioned about their lack of empathy). Sociopaths seeking the spotlight to discuss their sociopathy is too unbelievable to me.
The strangest part about this all, however, is the fact that she鈥檚 鈥�*known* she was a sociopath since the age of seven. Yet for all intents and purposes, she hasn鈥檛 really been independently diagnosed by an expert psychiatrist. Unless you count her own therapist (no doubt, extremely well-paid therapist) who is already informed, upon Patric鈥檚 first visit, that her patient is a sociopath, and only seeks to confirm this diagnosis. Never once did she look at similar disorders/illnesses which might cause her to act differently from 鈥渘ormal people鈥� she encounters: psychopathy, antisocial personality disorder, autism, narcissistic personality disorder (my own armchair diagnosis), etc.
She knows what she wants, and what she wants is to shout from the rooftops that she鈥檚 a sociopath (as is evidenced by the exhausting number of times she references her 鈥渟ociopathic behavior rearing its head鈥� along with 鈥渁 harmless stretch of my sociopathic muscle鈥� - phrases like these are repeated ad naseum throughout the entire book, throughout every page). She self diagnoses herself, only 鈥渃onfirming鈥� her sociopathy with the therapist referred to in the preceding paragraph, demanding the test which will determine this diagnosis by the traits she encompasses. (Non)spoiler alert: she lands perfectly on the scale of sociopathy but much below psychopathy!
There鈥檚 also a lot - or actually, very little - to be said about her 鈥渟ociopathic traits.鈥� For someone who claims to be completely apathetic and incapable of feeling love, she somehow manages to love her husband and children, her sister, as well as friends and family. This just isn鈥檛 the case in the sociopaths I鈥檝e seen. She didn鈥檛 just develop the capacity to love based on her brilliant ability to 鈥渓earn鈥� and 鈥渁pply鈥� this behavior. Sociopaths might feel some intimation of love, but never the true connection typically associated with the term. Which means she鈥檚 either lying about her ability to love, or she鈥檚 lying about being a sociopath. I鈥檓 leaning towards the latter.
Her 鈥渂ehavior鈥� and history include: stabbing a childhood bully in the neck with a pencil at the age of 9 I think? - said bully was not seriously injured. It also includes stealing things from people, but this is mostly a childhood behavior and limited to things like hair barrettes, necklaces, backpacks, or anything else a kid might find abandoned. Then I suppose she 鈥済raduates鈥� to 鈥渟tealing cars鈥� as a teenager/college student.
I use quotations for stealing cars, because it鈥檚 not at all what you think: hotwiring a random car, taking it to commit a crime, leaving it in a ditch somewhere. It鈥檚 not pickpocketing a stranger and then locating their car in the lot, taking off with it, with no concern about getting it back or any damage potentially caused to the car.
No, her 鈥渂ad habit鈥� of 鈥渋llegal activities鈥� like stealing a car is actually not illegal at all. Apparently, her coaxing car keys from sleazy drunk frat boys (under the premise that they know her, and she鈥檚 just 鈥渞unning to pick up the cigarettes/chips/sandwich they asked her to get them, remember?鈥�) is akin to the behavior I described in the paragraph above. I mean, they鈥檙e drunk guys looking at a cute blonde girl and have no idea what they鈥檝e said, but I鈥檓 sure they鈥檙e thinking it鈥檚 true (and that when she gets back, maybe she鈥檒l be down for some sex).
This is literally nothing more than borrowing someone鈥檚 car. Are you taking advantage of the fact that they鈥檙e drunk and blindly trusting you? There could be an argument made for that if she had malicious intentions for borrowing the car, or you know鈥� actually stole the car and didn鈥檛 bring it back for a change.
Instead, she does exactly what she tells them she鈥檒l do. She also mentions 鈥渏oyriding鈥� but fails to explain in any further detail what she means by that, so I can only take it to mean what she explicitly states. Which is basically that even though it鈥檚 not her car, she still drives around for awhile like it is, cruising the town and taking in the sights. Is she driving recklessly? No. Committing crimes in the car? No. I imagine if she had, she鈥檇 tell us. Nope, to her, 鈥渟tealing a car鈥� is persuading someone to let her borrow the keys, while she drives around for a bit on her own鈥� then proceeds to do the very thing she promised the owner she鈥檇 do, and heads back. She even effusively tells us of how she 鈥渂alances鈥� these 鈥渂ad鈥� acts with good deeds: not only does she return the car after only a short time, but she makes sure to fill it with gas if she uses a lot, or you know, if the owner just happens to be low. Okay鈥�?
Her other drastic behaviors include randomly entering neighbors鈥� or strangers鈥� houses and hanging out there for a bit. Again though, she鈥檚 acquainted herself with these people, so worst case scenario, they may have been alarmed if they鈥檇 caught her, but being young and pretty (and female) has its benefits. Whatever excuse she had at the ready in case she was caught - and let鈥檚 be honest, we know she had one - I鈥檓 sure would have placated the homeowner. At the very least to the extent that they wouldn鈥檛 call the police. She鈥檚 even familiar with their dog, who is happy to see her. There鈥檚 a good excuse right there - 鈥淚 was just walking by and I thought I heard your dog whimpering. I鈥檓 sorry, I just kind of freaked out because he seemed scared, and I wanted to make sure he was okay.鈥�
She prefaces this book (as well as mentions it plenty of times throughout the story) with the goal of wanting to 鈥渟hine a light onto sociopathy鈥� in order to 鈥渉elp the other 5% or so of others to realize that they鈥檙e not alone鈥�, and allow them to feel seen, understood, and develop ways of coping and understanding that she was never given and just had to figure out on her own.
Yet, what exactly she does to help her 鈥渇ellow sociopaths鈥� eludes me. The entire book is just very petty and self-centered, which might be expected, again, but鈥� I don鈥檛 believe I read anything meaningful that was addressed to other possible sociopaths that might help them process, give them some hope? Even though this is apparently her main objective in writing this memoir.
Instead, as others have pointed out, she does the exact opposite by gatekeeping sociopathy, which is hilarious in its absurdity, to be fair, by prattling on and on to her therapist about how 鈥漇O many people just like, PRETEND to be sociopaths, and they鈥檙e not even real sociopaths! It鈥檚 SO unfair because they take attention off the REAL sociopaths like me, who need help!鈥� .
This never seems at all to be hypocritical to her. After all, if she can self-diagnose as a sociopath, why should others be made to feel bad about doing the same, especially given that they, like she, often genuinely believe they鈥檙e sociopaths, and yet, while they鈥檙e often wrong (given sociopathy is one of the most misunderstood and most misdiagnosed disorders) she never makes any conscious effort to consider that she could be wrong as well. Then again, a book about a pretty blond woman with OCD or autism just wouldn鈥檛 generate the level of interest that the antiquated use of the term sociopath would, would it?
A major problem I find with her argument about writing this book 鈥渢o help other sociopaths鈥�, even if one were to truly believe she was a sociopath, is that not only does everyone鈥檚 experience vary greatly, but very few will relate to the privilege she enjoyed growing up with a father in the music business, representing internationally renown celebrities, living in and partying at Beverly Hills mansions. She鈥檚 obviously a member of the 1%.
What bugs me most though, with as much credit as she seems to single-handedly award herself for her outstanding self-awareness of her own sociopathic behavior, her personal treatment plans, her successful coping skills (so successful that today, she has a lovely home, and is happily married to David with two young children) - she seems to give even more - or at the very least, equal - credit to David, 鈥渢he love of her life鈥�, her 鈥淣orth Star鈥� whose understanding and acceptance of her (mostly) gave her the confidence she apparently needed to truly better herself.
It鈥檚 not just about her needing to find the ability to love in her own way, without his presence. It鈥檚 literally about the idea that without David, she seems to believe she never would have made it to where she is now. Without his strong guidance and support, his compassion, his ability to balance her, she likely would have never truly come to understand emotional responses and to fight her inner battles.
Again, this leaves me asking: how exactly, again, is this then supposed to help other sociopaths? Surely a sociopath such as Patric, with an exceptional level of personal experience combined with years of experience in psychology research, would be aware that not only will every other sociopath reading this account not have their own 鈥淒avid鈥� to help guide them, but many may not experience any real desire to have that type of relationship (or may desire to try, but are unable to connect with someone in the same way). This wouldn鈥檛 be such a serious problem if Patric hadn鈥檛, again, repeatedly attributed so much of her understanding of self to her partner.
Along with the overtly cringeworthy 鈥渞econstructed dialogue鈥� by Gagne (which honestly just reads like a terrible comedic attempt at creating a conversation as to what two people - the 鈥渟ociopath鈥� Patricia, of course, lest we forget! - and a friend, family member, romantic partner - arguing over their understanding of what a sociopath is and hence how they believe she should behave), it almost seems as if she labels herself a paradox early on in order to justify all of the inherent contradictions and inconsistencies in her claims.
Two examples among countless others?
Well, for one, while she鈥檚 in her first year or so of university, she still claims that she is desperate not to be seen as 鈥渄ifferent鈥�, or 鈥渢oo reckless鈥�, 鈥渢oo indifferent鈥�, 鈥渢oo uncaring鈥�, and the like. She states that because of her fear that people will realize that she鈥檚 鈥渘ot like them鈥�, she often tries to make herself as invisible as possible: mimicking the behavior of others, keeping the attention/conversation on the other person and away from herself.
Yet, despite this desperation to be invisible, she admits to us readers, rather gleefully, just how much she enjoys tormenting her rule-abiding roommate Kimi, a Chinese transfer student who speaks little to no English. Knowing that Kimi is a light sleeper and hates to be awakened in the middle of the night by Patric coming home at 3 AM from parties, Patric not only makes no attempt to avoid Kimi, but explains to us how she enjoys winding her up:
鈥漎ou broke curfew, you woke me up again, this is inconsiderate,鈥� Kimi states.
鈥淚 know,鈥� I replied earnestly, as I shifted slightly in my chair. 鈥淏ut it was unavoidable. I had to return the car I stole.鈥�
Kimi seems not to understand her through the translator box she carries with her everywhere (although, a small box that could instantly translate Mandarin to English and back? In what, the early 2000s or so? Ok, because I haven鈥檛 heard of any such devices until very recently, either).
If you鈥檙e claiming you want to be invisible, why would you intentionally try to fabricate something extreme that would undoubtedly upset your roommate? And again, we come back to the fact that she doesn鈥檛 actually steal cars. It鈥檚 even right there in the dialogue. She had to 鈥渞eturn鈥� the car. Since when do car thieves return cars? They typically steal them for one of two reasons: one, to commit a crime in and not be identified by their own vehicle; two, to sell quickly either as a whole, or have it immediately broken down into its parts, for profit.
The second example鈥�
On p. 306, she sees David again (who is to become her future husband), for the first time in quite a few months since their breakup and his moving out of their shared home. Here鈥檚 how it (supposedly) plays out:
鈥漈hen I saw him鈥�
A crush of bodies knocked me off-balance, and I was swept sideways. But not before we locked eyes. He stepped forward and grabbed my hand. Allowing him to rescue me from the sway, I took a second to collect myself. Then I threw my arms around him.
Standing there, holding on for dear life, I said nothing. I just allowed myself to be held, plucked from the current, and temporarily resuscitated by David鈥檚 existence鈥� gazing up at him, neon lights from the bar casting shadows across his face, it took all the strength in my soul not to confess. To fall into his arms and beg him to save me. To tell him the truth. That I loved him. Needed him. Ached for him. And not just because he was the only person who ever truly made me feel safe. And not just because being in his arms felt like home. But because he was home. David was the best person I鈥檇 ever known. The best person I would ever know.
Then, just 24 pages later (p. 330), she seems to completely forget how much she loves being in David鈥檚 arms - to the point that they feel like home..
After a long, rambling, and cliched 鈥渃onfession鈥�:
David pulled me into his arms and kissed me. My body relaxed against his chest. Only seconds before, my thoughts had been a jumbled jigsaw puzzle. But now, everything fell perfectly into place. He pressed his forehead to mine as we stood there for a few seconds in silence. Then he wrapped me in another embrace, this one much tighter.
鈥淚 love you,鈥� he whispered in my ear.
I kissed his neck. 鈥淚 love you, too,鈥� I said. I let him hold me for a few more seconds before adding, 鈥渂ut I hate hugs.鈥�
His arms went slack, but he didn鈥檛 let go. He looked me in the eyes and asked, 鈥渟eriously?鈥�
鈥淵es!鈥� I said, trying to keep things light as I wriggled out of his grasp. 鈥淭his is what I鈥檓 talking about,鈥� I explained. 鈥淚 love you, but there are things about me that are just different. Not wrong,鈥� I clarified. 鈥淎nd not less. Just different.鈥�
馃く馃槀
Let鈥檚 just call this book for what it really is: 鈥淧ossible Narcissist Attempts to Make Good Use of Manipulative Behavior by Convincing the Public She鈥檚 a Sociopath.鈥� Despite repeatedly stating the very same stereotypes she claimed to despise. Right.
This book was so irritating I couldn鈥檛 wait to be finished. How anyone enjoys this nonsense is beyond me, but I don鈥檛 want to criticize others for different opinions, other. The whole thing, as I stated from the beginning, just seems to be a joke. Avoid at all costs. Seriously. If you really want to learn about sociopathy, I鈥檓 sure you could find something more authentic on YouTube than this ridiculous fantasy of a tale.
(Lol, I鈥檝e realized the more I hate a book, the longer the review. Oops. I鈥檒l really try to edit this one. I badly need sleep!)
It鈥檚 not because the initial conundrum I thought I was experiencing (and had fully expected to experience, given the nature of the illness). Of course embellishment and lying are part and parcel of a sociopath鈥檚 identity, so it it鈥檚 important to know and accept that you鈥檒l be dealing with an unreliable narrator.
That鈥檚 not what the issue is at all, though. I鈥檝e always been incredibly underwhelmed and annoyed by people who write books, go onto television shows, appear for interviews, under the auspices of being a sociopath.
It just doesn鈥檛 add up at all with sociopathic behavior (and believe me, I do know a couple confirmed ones - but they鈥檒l be the last to agree to this label, as they either truly fail to comprehend it, or they prefer not to be questioned about their lack of empathy). Sociopaths seeking the spotlight to discuss their sociopathy is too unbelievable to me.
The strangest part about this all, however, is the fact that she鈥檚 鈥�*known* she was a sociopath since the age of seven. Yet for all intents and purposes, she hasn鈥檛 really been independently diagnosed by an expert psychiatrist. Unless you count her own therapist (no doubt, extremely well-paid therapist) who is already informed, upon Patric鈥檚 first visit, that her patient is a sociopath, and only seeks to confirm this diagnosis. Never once did she look at similar disorders/illnesses which might cause her to act differently from 鈥渘ormal people鈥� she encounters: psychopathy, antisocial personality disorder, autism, narcissistic personality disorder (my own armchair diagnosis), etc.
She knows what she wants, and what she wants is to shout from the rooftops that she鈥檚 a sociopath (as is evidenced by the exhausting number of times she references her 鈥渟ociopathic behavior rearing its head鈥� along with 鈥渁 harmless stretch of my sociopathic muscle鈥� - phrases like these are repeated ad naseum throughout the entire book, throughout every page). She self diagnoses herself, only 鈥渃onfirming鈥� her sociopathy with the therapist referred to in the preceding paragraph, demanding the test which will determine this diagnosis by the traits she encompasses. (Non)spoiler alert: she lands perfectly on the scale of sociopathy but much below psychopathy!
There鈥檚 also a lot - or actually, very little - to be said about her 鈥渟ociopathic traits.鈥� For someone who claims to be completely apathetic and incapable of feeling love, she somehow manages to love her husband and children, her sister, as well as friends and family. This just isn鈥檛 the case in the sociopaths I鈥檝e seen. She didn鈥檛 just develop the capacity to love based on her brilliant ability to 鈥渓earn鈥� and 鈥渁pply鈥� this behavior. Sociopaths might feel some intimation of love, but never the true connection typically associated with the term. Which means she鈥檚 either lying about her ability to love, or she鈥檚 lying about being a sociopath. I鈥檓 leaning towards the latter.
Her 鈥渂ehavior鈥� and history include: stabbing a childhood bully in the neck with a pencil at the age of 9 I think? - said bully was not seriously injured. It also includes stealing things from people, but this is mostly a childhood behavior and limited to things like hair barrettes, necklaces, backpacks, or anything else a kid might find abandoned. Then I suppose she 鈥済raduates鈥� to 鈥渟tealing cars鈥� as a teenager/college student.
I use quotations for stealing cars, because it鈥檚 not at all what you think: hotwiring a random car, taking it to commit a crime, leaving it in a ditch somewhere. It鈥檚 not pickpocketing a stranger and then locating their car in the lot, taking off with it, with no concern about getting it back or any damage potentially caused to the car.
No, her 鈥渂ad habit鈥� of 鈥渋llegal activities鈥� like stealing a car is actually not illegal at all. Apparently, her coaxing car keys from sleazy drunk frat boys (under the premise that they know her, and she鈥檚 just 鈥渞unning to pick up the cigarettes/chips/sandwich they asked her to get them, remember?鈥�) is akin to the behavior I described in the paragraph above. I mean, they鈥檙e drunk guys looking at a cute blonde girl and have no idea what they鈥檝e said, but I鈥檓 sure they鈥檙e thinking it鈥檚 true (and that when she gets back, maybe she鈥檒l be down for some sex).
This is literally nothing more than borrowing someone鈥檚 car. Are you taking advantage of the fact that they鈥檙e drunk and blindly trusting you? There could be an argument made for that if she had malicious intentions for borrowing the car, or you know鈥� actually stole the car and didn鈥檛 bring it back for a change.
Instead, she does exactly what she tells them she鈥檒l do. She also mentions 鈥渏oyriding鈥� but fails to explain in any further detail what she means by that, so I can only take it to mean what she explicitly states. Which is basically that even though it鈥檚 not her car, she still drives around for awhile like it is, cruising the town and taking in the sights. Is she driving recklessly? No. Committing crimes in the car? No. I imagine if she had, she鈥檇 tell us. Nope, to her, 鈥渟tealing a car鈥� is persuading someone to let her borrow the keys, while she drives around for a bit on her own鈥� then proceeds to do the very thing she promised the owner she鈥檇 do, and heads back. She even effusively tells us of how she 鈥渂alances鈥� these 鈥渂ad鈥� acts with good deeds: not only does she return the car after only a short time, but she makes sure to fill it with gas if she uses a lot, or you know, if the owner just happens to be low. Okay鈥�?
Her other drastic behaviors include randomly entering neighbors鈥� or strangers鈥� houses and hanging out there for a bit. Again though, she鈥檚 acquainted herself with these people, so worst case scenario, they may have been alarmed if they鈥檇 caught her, but being young and pretty (and female) has its benefits. Whatever excuse she had at the ready in case she was caught - and let鈥檚 be honest, we know she had one - I鈥檓 sure would have placated the homeowner. At the very least to the extent that they wouldn鈥檛 call the police. She鈥檚 even familiar with their dog, who is happy to see her. There鈥檚 a good excuse right there - 鈥淚 was just walking by and I thought I heard your dog whimpering. I鈥檓 sorry, I just kind of freaked out because he seemed scared, and I wanted to make sure he was okay.鈥�
She prefaces this book (as well as mentions it plenty of times throughout the story) with the goal of wanting to 鈥渟hine a light onto sociopathy鈥� in order to 鈥渉elp the other 5% or so of others to realize that they鈥檙e not alone鈥�, and allow them to feel seen, understood, and develop ways of coping and understanding that she was never given and just had to figure out on her own.
Yet, what exactly she does to help her 鈥渇ellow sociopaths鈥� eludes me. The entire book is just very petty and self-centered, which might be expected, again, but鈥� I don鈥檛 believe I read anything meaningful that was addressed to other possible sociopaths that might help them process, give them some hope? Even though this is apparently her main objective in writing this memoir.
Instead, as others have pointed out, she does the exact opposite by gatekeeping sociopathy, which is hilarious in its absurdity, to be fair, by prattling on and on to her therapist about how 鈥漇O many people just like, PRETEND to be sociopaths, and they鈥檙e not even real sociopaths! It鈥檚 SO unfair because they take attention off the REAL sociopaths like me, who need help!鈥� .
This never seems at all to be hypocritical to her. After all, if she can self-diagnose as a sociopath, why should others be made to feel bad about doing the same, especially given that they, like she, often genuinely believe they鈥檙e sociopaths, and yet, while they鈥檙e often wrong (given sociopathy is one of the most misunderstood and most misdiagnosed disorders) she never makes any conscious effort to consider that she could be wrong as well. Then again, a book about a pretty blond woman with OCD or autism just wouldn鈥檛 generate the level of interest that the antiquated use of the term sociopath would, would it?
A major problem I find with her argument about writing this book 鈥渢o help other sociopaths鈥�, even if one were to truly believe she was a sociopath, is that not only does everyone鈥檚 experience vary greatly, but very few will relate to the privilege she enjoyed growing up with a father in the music business, representing internationally renown celebrities, living in and partying at Beverly Hills mansions. She鈥檚 obviously a member of the 1%.
What bugs me most though, with as much credit as she seems to single-handedly award herself for her outstanding self-awareness of her own sociopathic behavior, her personal treatment plans, her successful coping skills (so successful that today, she has a lovely home, and is happily married to David with two young children) - she seems to give even more - or at the very least, equal - credit to David, 鈥渢he love of her life鈥�, her 鈥淣orth Star鈥� whose understanding and acceptance of her (mostly) gave her the confidence she apparently needed to truly better herself.
It鈥檚 not just about her needing to find the ability to love in her own way, without his presence. It鈥檚 literally about the idea that without David, she seems to believe she never would have made it to where she is now. Without his strong guidance and support, his compassion, his ability to balance her, she likely would have never truly come to understand emotional responses and to fight her inner battles.
Again, this leaves me asking: how exactly, again, is this then supposed to help other sociopaths? Surely a sociopath such as Patric, with an exceptional level of personal experience combined with years of experience in psychology research, would be aware that not only will every other sociopath reading this account not have their own 鈥淒avid鈥� to help guide them, but many may not experience any real desire to have that type of relationship (or may desire to try, but are unable to connect with someone in the same way). This wouldn鈥檛 be such a serious problem if Patric hadn鈥檛, again, repeatedly attributed so much of her understanding of self to her partner.
Along with the overtly cringeworthy 鈥渞econstructed dialogue鈥� by Gagne (which honestly just reads like a terrible comedic attempt at creating a conversation as to what two people - the 鈥渟ociopath鈥� Patricia, of course, lest we forget! - and a friend, family member, romantic partner - arguing over their understanding of what a sociopath is and hence how they believe she should behave), it almost seems as if she labels herself a paradox early on in order to justify all of the inherent contradictions and inconsistencies in her claims.
Two examples among countless others?
Well, for one, while she鈥檚 in her first year or so of university, she still claims that she is desperate not to be seen as 鈥渄ifferent鈥�, or 鈥渢oo reckless鈥�, 鈥渢oo indifferent鈥�, 鈥渢oo uncaring鈥�, and the like. She states that because of her fear that people will realize that she鈥檚 鈥渘ot like them鈥�, she often tries to make herself as invisible as possible: mimicking the behavior of others, keeping the attention/conversation on the other person and away from herself.
Yet, despite this desperation to be invisible, she admits to us readers, rather gleefully, just how much she enjoys tormenting her rule-abiding roommate Kimi, a Chinese transfer student who speaks little to no English. Knowing that Kimi is a light sleeper and hates to be awakened in the middle of the night by Patric coming home at 3 AM from parties, Patric not only makes no attempt to avoid Kimi, but explains to us how she enjoys winding her up:
鈥漎ou broke curfew, you woke me up again, this is inconsiderate,鈥� Kimi states.
鈥淚 know,鈥� I replied earnestly, as I shifted slightly in my chair. 鈥淏ut it was unavoidable. I had to return the car I stole.鈥�
Kimi seems not to understand her through the translator box she carries with her everywhere (although, a small box that could instantly translate Mandarin to English and back? In what, the early 2000s or so? Ok, because I haven鈥檛 heard of any such devices until very recently, either).
If you鈥檙e claiming you want to be invisible, why would you intentionally try to fabricate something extreme that would undoubtedly upset your roommate? And again, we come back to the fact that she doesn鈥檛 actually steal cars. It鈥檚 even right there in the dialogue. She had to 鈥渞eturn鈥� the car. Since when do car thieves return cars? They typically steal them for one of two reasons: one, to commit a crime in and not be identified by their own vehicle; two, to sell quickly either as a whole, or have it immediately broken down into its parts, for profit.
The second example鈥�
On p. 306, she sees David again (who is to become her future husband), for the first time in quite a few months since their breakup and his moving out of their shared home. Here鈥檚 how it (supposedly) plays out:
鈥漈hen I saw him鈥�
A crush of bodies knocked me off-balance, and I was swept sideways. But not before we locked eyes. He stepped forward and grabbed my hand. Allowing him to rescue me from the sway, I took a second to collect myself. Then I threw my arms around him.
Standing there, holding on for dear life, I said nothing. I just allowed myself to be held, plucked from the current, and temporarily resuscitated by David鈥檚 existence鈥� gazing up at him, neon lights from the bar casting shadows across his face, it took all the strength in my soul not to confess. To fall into his arms and beg him to save me. To tell him the truth. That I loved him. Needed him. Ached for him. And not just because he was the only person who ever truly made me feel safe. And not just because being in his arms felt like home. But because he was home. David was the best person I鈥檇 ever known. The best person I would ever know.
Then, just 24 pages later (p. 330), she seems to completely forget how much she loves being in David鈥檚 arms - to the point that they feel like home..
After a long, rambling, and cliched 鈥渃onfession鈥�:
David pulled me into his arms and kissed me. My body relaxed against his chest. Only seconds before, my thoughts had been a jumbled jigsaw puzzle. But now, everything fell perfectly into place. He pressed his forehead to mine as we stood there for a few seconds in silence. Then he wrapped me in another embrace, this one much tighter.
鈥淚 love you,鈥� he whispered in my ear.
I kissed his neck. 鈥淚 love you, too,鈥� I said. I let him hold me for a few more seconds before adding, 鈥渂ut I hate hugs.鈥�
His arms went slack, but he didn鈥檛 let go. He looked me in the eyes and asked, 鈥渟eriously?鈥�
鈥淵es!鈥� I said, trying to keep things light as I wriggled out of his grasp. 鈥淭his is what I鈥檓 talking about,鈥� I explained. 鈥淚 love you, but there are things about me that are just different. Not wrong,鈥� I clarified. 鈥淎nd not less. Just different.鈥�
馃く馃槀
Let鈥檚 just call this book for what it really is: 鈥淧ossible Narcissist Attempts to Make Good Use of Manipulative Behavior by Convincing the Public She鈥檚 a Sociopath.鈥� Despite repeatedly stating the very same stereotypes she claimed to despise. Right.
This book was so irritating I couldn鈥檛 wait to be finished. How anyone enjoys this nonsense is beyond me, but I don鈥檛 want to criticize others for different opinions, other. The whole thing, as I stated from the beginning, just seems to be a joke. Avoid at all costs. Seriously. If you really want to learn about sociopathy, I鈥檓 sure you could find something more authentic on YouTube than this ridiculous fantasy of a tale.
(Lol, I鈥檝e realized the more I hate a book, the longer the review. Oops. I鈥檒l really try to edit this one. I badly need sleep!)
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Sociopath.
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Reading Progress
January 20, 2024
– Shelved as:
memoirs
January 20, 2024
– Shelved as:
autobiography-biography
January 20, 2024
– Shelved as:
to-read
January 20, 2024
– Shelved
January 20, 2024
– Shelved as:
published-in-2024
January 20, 2024
– Shelved as:
mental-health-illness
June 3, 2024
–
Started Reading
June 4, 2024
–
7.07%
"Didn鈥檛 get much in the way of reading or reviews today but hoping to catch up after some sleep 馃槓"
page
26
June 5, 2024
–
43.48%
"Unreliable narrator problem with this memoir for sure. Does anyone find it strange that a) her 鈥渃rimes鈥� aren鈥檛 really crimes - you鈥檙e not stealing someone鈥檚 car if they give you the keys & you bring it back when expected, without a scratch? Also the goal is to be invisible yet brag about 鈥渟tealing鈥� a car to your rule-abiding roommate? This is kinda starting to get on my nerves鈥�"
page
160
June 7, 2024
–
65.76%
"pretty convinced this woman isn鈥檛 even remotely a sociopath, maybe a narcissist? I mean, she鈥檚 self-diagnosed all of her life & pretty much forced her therapist to agree w/the diagnosis (never entertaining other possible illnesses); only exacerbating what traits encompassed sociopathy, it鈥檚 hard to know what her real (if any) diagnosis is. It is laughable though how mad she gets about others self-diagnosing."
page
242
June 8, 2024
–
Finished Reading
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Rachel
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Jun 09, 2024 09:36AM
I absolutely agree with everything that you stated in this review! A sociopath would never admit that they鈥檙e a sociopath and are quick to point the finger at everyone else and accuse them of being exactly what they are (yep-I鈥檓 familiar with a few myself). I don鈥檛 think I would enjoy this book either.
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Thanks, Rachel - I鈥檓 starting to wonder how anyone could really believe this crap. Although I think we鈥檒l have a better idea of how people really feel in another month or two after the book has been out longer and not so many of the reviews have been from ARCs. It鈥檚 pretty rare for me to give out one-star reviews, but given the fact that I was relieved to be finished with this, there鈥檚 nothing positive I could say about it whatsoever (unfortunately I鈥檓 one of those weird people who has serious issues with DNF鈥檌ng a book). I would have found it more believable had she not hyped it up so much from the start - essentially bragging about everything and 鈥渒nowing EXACTLY what she was at the age of seven鈥� (who tf knows their exact mental diagnosis at seven?!) yet at the same time acting as though she were incredibly ashamed of the label.
If someone was truly ashamed or afraid of being labeled a sociopath, afraid that the label would scare people off, what do they have to gain by not exploring alternative reasons and diagnoses for their behavior (if we are to believe all the stories, anyway)? But she just clings to the label like static. It鈥檚 just annoying, lol. I鈥檇 definitely recommend you continue to spare yourself the annoyance!
But sociopaths have no shame remember?...just kidding. I'm just being the devil's advocate.
I see you, Vivian! 馃憖 lol. I鈥檓 horrible with replies because I never get notifications?! lol, don鈥檛 tell me you liked this?! Ah, well, even if you weren鈥檛 kidding, it seems I have friends who did. I can鈥檛 get mad at others for their opinions. Although I wish I could talk more to someone who four or five starred this and ask what made them so quick to do so鈥� was it the hype? The novelty of the subject? Maybe these and different factors leading people to too hastily assign this book top ratings?!Explain yourselves, my friends! 馃槀
Hahaha. I had to come check out your review. I鈥檓 fruit furious all over again just thinking about her pathetic story. And I forgot to mention the 鈥渟tealing鈥� in my review. Cus yeah. That鈥檚 not stealing. Ugh that pissed me off how she kept saying she enjoyed that. GIRL YOURE JUST DUMB. Gahhhh. Whoever is giving this book a 3+ star rating need to read better books.
lol @Reyna, I swear that hate-bonding over awful books is the best bonding there is. Especially when, as you pointed out, it鈥檚 a book that consistently has enjoyed 3+ star ratings (averaging more toward 4, which is insane. Even if the author鈥檚 credentials hadn鈥檛 been called into question, even if most could agree that her behavior was devoid of any emotion and she really did fit the (antiquated) label, the story would still be unbearable.I鈥檇 be FAR MORE AFRAID to be stuck alone in a room with her and being forced to endure her narcissism, than I would be for any real concern that she might hurt me. Making my head throb with her BS, but not quite the same thing as giving me a head injury thanks to a hammer over the head, Although the latter would be preferable to reading anything else by her. I just hope to God this is her first and only book, but somehow I doubt it. After all, she has to have an outlet for 鈥渇lexing her sociopathic muscles.鈥� Who talks like that?! 馃う馃徏鈥嶁檧锔� Mindless moron.
I slogged through this book so hard - fell asleep three times - in the attempts to find anything worthwhile and have a fully formulated opinion - I LOATHED THIS BOOK. I rarely ever have opinions about memoirs because that鈥檚 an individual鈥檚 own personal experience of life and who am I to critique it, but this book is be pure fiction. It鈥檚 focused solely on senseless sensationalism of which most will never understand - a casual playboy bunny hang in which you steal a notepad from Hugh Hefner with a self-professing note? sooo relatable for 鈥渟ociopaths鈥�
Or 鈥渟tealing a car鈥� a drunk guy let you borrow only to return with the items he asked for and a full tank of gas?! 馃槀 I agree with you on the memoir thing; I鈥檝e never been furious with one before. As you said, it鈥檚 someone鈥檚 personal experience鈥� so even if I don鈥檛 necessarily agree with their actions and/or don鈥檛 like the writing, it鈥檚 not my place to say what I 鈥渨ould have done鈥� - if you haven鈥檛 been in the EXACT SITUATION, you can鈥檛 claim to know anything. So I鈥檒l usually just pass on rating those. But this book had me SO angry. All I saw was spoiled, whiny nepo baby who just wanted attention for a 鈥渟exy鈥� self-diagnosed illness. Oh, and I鈥檝e been to the Playboy Mansion鈥� it鈥檚 very likely we may have even been at the same party (I just went to one, didn鈥檛 live in LA鈥� a friend of mine did who had made the hottest college girls issue or something to that effect. So she was a regular on weekends, sent in my photo for his Halloween party, and (shockingly to me, anyway!) I got an invite. But my whole point isn鈥檛 to brag. Of course it was an exciting experience but it just made me realize how ridiculous her lies are. Honestly, there鈥檚 been so many parties over the years by Hef that many women could have read this (one did, actually, who almost went) and tell you this much: no way in hell did she 鈥渟neak into his office鈥� and take ANYTHING.
Doesn鈥檛 matter if you鈥檙e merely one of the random designed 鈥渉ot girls鈥� who got invited or you鈥檙e an A-List celebrity. Unless Hef wants people there, they aren鈥檛 getting in. So many areas of the place weren鈥檛 just roped off, but had security guards posted at every room entrance. Considering how sacred Hef鈥檚 office was to him, no way in hell did an outsider get in there.
*one did, actually, who WENT (not almost) - I spoke to her on GR, lol. & we were both baffled by that.
This is one of the best 欧宝娱乐 reviews I鈥檝e ever read hahah. Thank you for taking the time to write it, so refreshing!!
@leah: haha thank you!!! I really seem to enjoy writing reviews for books I truly hate. Not sure what that says about me鈥� but I鈥檓 glad to hear that it entertained you and you could relate to my frustration!
Sounds like Histrionic PD (as far as any of these things are actually definable) rather than sociopathy
Great review, thank you! Exactly everything I have been thinking upon finishing the book!
